I'm So Tired, You Complain (Secret Sorceress 1st Sentence Song)

Koopa Express, A Voice Shouts (Koopa Capers 1st Sentence Song)

my body broken
soaking in the 
water flowing
from my eyes
to my legs
no words can be
spoke to devise 
or temper
the delusions
of nevermore
hard baked in my brain
this pain
is sustained caustically
constantly but dulled
in compressed garments

I am far from ok
my mouth dry from
yelling on the inside

I live in a body
that fights me each day
if not my legs then
other systems in my brain
and I love to see the sun
but I love to close my eyes
to a bed
so time ticks by
with dreams of being
not this.

Not This

Dimmed

My body wracked
sweat makes my pillow
a pool
and my heart
hand held
at light speed

these grey broken pupils
push through the shades
and I wondering where I am
look around
calm a little
cry a little
weep a little

I can't forget the day
the sky was sapphires
set in a diamond band
glistening the water tips
and you were so happy
ready for the beach
and the movie later that night
You were excited to see Home Alone

I surprised you with waffles cut into hearts
your favorite
layered with whip crème and chocolate chips
our secret
your  mother would kill me
oh and you have your mothers face
her will
her strength
and I love you for it
better you be her
than me

We walked to the beach out the back door
spring was upon us
so we had to mingle among 
the college kids to find a spot

Layed out our blankets
and ran to the water
waddling as ducks do
following their mother
and splash the cool sea
surrounded us

we played for a while sat back down for a drink
renewed our lotion
you wanted to jump in the shallow
so I let you but kept an eye on you
the whole time

They say that the sun
blackens in the stress
and one moment you were there
wave crossed higher than your neck
and pulled you back
I jumped
ran as fast as I could
 yelling
SAVE HER!!!!!

It must have fallen on def ears
as no one heard me
or helped
5 minutes 21 seconds
That is how long it took
for her to be found 
a few yards down the beach

I run to the screams
as a man pulls her to a blanket 
on the beach
I start CPR
the life guard in slow motion
flecks my periphery
and a young woman runs
to call 911

I... was lost
and she was my guiding light
dimmed to undertow
and me not being next to her
holding her hand 
as she sloshed around

Now everyday since that
I lost everything
My wife
my job
the ability to be
anything other
than haunted by these dreams
that I see with my eyes open
or closed.

Dimmed

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Jill of all trades. Have an exuberantly blessed day!!!

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