Name: "This Lullaby" Variations by Sandtalon
Duration: 10 min 44 s
Description: Trio for clarinet, cello, and piano composed by Paul Ocone, and performed by Daniel Pesca (piano), Gita Ladd (cello), Natalie Groom (clarinet, movements I-IV, VI), and Paul Ocone (clarinet, movement V)

Trio for clarinet, cello, and piano composed by Paul Ocone, and performed by Daniel Pesca (piano), Gita Ladd (cello), Natalie Groom (clarinet, movements I-IV, VI), and Paul Ocone (clarinet, movement V)

"This Lullaby" Variations

This may go down as one of my weirder tracks. I'd wanted to use the song Yogensha from Yoko Kanno's Arjuna OST as a rap sample for some time, but after listening to the song a few times I thought maybe I could just rap over it by itself without adding a beat. My lyrics ended up being so loose and free-form that it took a while to figure out a flow for them, and I struggled with figuring out what voice would match the tone of the song. In the end, I ended up throwing effects on it to sort of mask the awkwardness and make it all flow together, and I think it sounds alright at least. The quote part in the middle is from Alan Watts.

Lyrics:

When I consider that I exist on this Earth
Subsist with such mirth
Blissed out and purposed
I feel an insistence
To close the distance
I've kept from a sense
Of responsibility
This way that I see
Surroundings as utility
Knowing full well 
That I have the ability 
To see your hell 
And handle with fragility
I could dispell 
The idea of the enemy

Otherness--
The global forgetfulness of onness
The AT fields that we choose to shield
Our hearts with and weild
Our fears as weapons--
Protection from intervention
Inventions perpetuating our perceptions 
That we are seperate in our selection
That we our sectioned 
Our predilection 
For preservation
With complications
Of all our nations
Communications
Falling flat
Cause we can't understand that
We will always be chewing the same fat
We will sustain and maintain that
Till the day that we may ascertain fact 
If there is such a thing in the void's hat
If there is sense in the way anything acts
And I stand with my doubts still about that

Believe you me I can see the trees breathing
I am attuned to the kids screaming
I understand what you're scheming
And I am not even close to disagreeing
I am lost--
It doesn't help to understand the cost
It's the profit I don't get
I don't know where the gold sits
I can't predict the market
I can't do a cost-benefit
When I'm unfit to interpret the latter
To grasp at the ladder
That leads to the benefactor
Supreme actor
Wherever you are
I don't believe that the answer is just among the stars
I don't belive any of us ever make it that far

One day everything will end, and then it will all restart
I would only like to be here for as long as we are
Let me be there when the lights shut off
When the space shutters one last cough
By then I'll be ready to accept what is not
Unless my will is real, and I crush nihil
And my soul can really carry on
But I won't hold my breath, or barrell headlong for death
I will fight the stress that bites at my neck
With vain hope the next decade is the test
To see who will rest inside nature's breast
And the future's nest; what I'm so desperate
To attest to giving my best to
I cannot rest till I've made my point
And felt the joy of all I know is there
I'm only scared of having to miss out
I'm only scared because I have this doubt
I'm only scared that I just might be wrong
I'm only scared that I may not be strong
I'm only scared that I could die too soon
I'm only scared that I will cry right through
The final scene, and that I will be moved
I just can't deal, I just can't deal

Oh God let me be real
If the time is soon then I would like to feel

Heat Death

From the end of Finish or Fail. If you're hearing it before the video's even out, then here's your cred. Will be on Emotional Anime Raps 2.

Lyrics:

This one goes out to the few who never fuckin' doubted me
Saw what I could do day one and knew they'd soon be proud of me
Ghostlightning who scouted me, dad who never frowned on me
Mom who was like "you's a star" before nobody crowded me
Vic and Shade like every day they stayed nearby to surround me
Now I lay with May and gotta say that woman is my queen
Even appreciate all the support from her family
Outside of the closest both of our worlds are calamities
But clan Collins is stronger bonded in our brash insanity
And all along the way we bring the friends who wanna stand with me
Also all the fans who make it possible for me to eat
And keep encouraging my hunger chomping after larger meats
They can keep the strategies, SEO and royalties
I'll be going for the throat, you each represent my teeth
I'm the jaw that clenches down, we tear off a massive piece
Bloodspray and it hits the ground, that's the fuckin' industry!
Tearin' off the faces all the same of clones who run the game
And makin' sure they scream my name before I give a chance to plead

Bleed 'em dry for every dime
Punk ass dies on his punk weight time
Turn the clock back, rewind? Let me remind
Every single thing fucking dies!

No you can't have my breath, I'm at odds with death
Better bring your best, motherfucker I'm stressed
Like twenty-four seven, 'cause "enough success" never crossed my melon
I get you upset? Sucker, I'm here chillin'
Comin' for the chest? I'mma be that villain
Shillin' for a plug, sucka pride like Krillin'
Hit another nug, get wise, stay vigilent; my bitch heaven-sent

Hard to stay mad these days
Brush my shoulders off, fuck those flakes
Doesn't take much to crush these fakes
Gonna have to pump up them stakes

Takin' risks every chance I get
Payin' off 'cause I know my shit
Kids convinced I've gone off the ship
Sittin' broke in their parent's cribs
Givin' me dough to see my myths
Spendin' that money on my bitch
Take her out to Bernard's then fuck her real hard, yeah that's really how I live!
Watchin' anime that ain't shit
Celebrate the greats and the hits
Life we dreamed of when we were kids
How did we get so good at this?
Sorry, I was just born this way
Checked the Beckett guide, not 'gon trade
You could be your best self today
But you just must't run away
Take a chance and fall on your face
Brush yourself off and then go straight
To the top with your favorite name
Let them never say who you may
Be for them, you are you, fuck hate
None of these fucks control your fate
You cannot let them desecrate
The unique soul that you create
Lay them all to waste with your sound
Pile their bodies all around
As a warning shout to the crowd
Snep on snek and I'll blow you down
Flood the town until you all drown
Fuck the earth 'till that shit ain't round
Kill you all I don't fuck around 
Don't play with me

I'm holdin' down the fort like dad
Sortin' out my life 'cause no doubt wanna be one like mad
Make my kids see reality well it ain't all bad
I acknowledge that it's selfish to think you'll be glad
Or that I'd be good enough to not fuck up, in fact
But if I can make it with world at my back, you can make it too!

I'm gonna do my best for you
Teach you how to bring forth your best self, too
Never let you be what you hate, or do
Things you never want to pursue
Teach you all that I know, try to lose control
Let you be your own, pride in how you grow
Never gonna be a day when I fail to say
That I love you, no no no
You'll be sick of hearing that shit
Thinkin' ol' dad, that fart's a spastic
That's okay, I'll see you smiling past me
At your love and know you've passed into
Yet another layer of what is beneath the paydirt
Of the soul, and that is greater than the whole of human's nature to be cruel
It is love and it's more powerful than you could ever know!

Bleu Mayo

A teenage nerd in love with life. An artist, but not necessarily visual. Polymathematic. Ecclectic & creative & passionate & intellectual.

"This Lullaby" Variations

Sandtalon

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