5 of 10

cowritten by & featuring @prodmusa
coproduced & mixed by @can-of-bliss 
additional guitar & production by @wishlane
mastered by ryan schwabe
art by atlas ezra

~~lyrics~~

(sd)
I think I get what that Kanye song means
If I put my hand on a stove will I bleed
If I cut again can I even go deep
Picking away at the body beneath
Grounding by naming five things I can see
Five things I can hear
Five things I can touch
Can tasting the back of my tongue be enough
Yeah with my luck, you’ll tell me

I’m so beautiful, so beautiful
You’ve got front row seats to the dream
To scream my name back at me, pretend
I’m in control, I’m in control
All eyes on me, on me, on me, on me, on
Five more steps, fingers around my neck
Five down and one ‘til I’m dead
Five counts and I’m catching my breath
Five more steps, fingers around my neck
Five down and one ‘til I’m dead
Five counts and I’m catching my breath

(musa)
Sometimes I think I’m on top of the world but I’m missing their words when they’re talking to me,
Fucked up the details everything they told me I thought that their birthday was the seventeenth
And I don’t know why I just act like I have so much energy, when I don’t even get sleep
My words just compress out my mouth now it’s hurting to breathe,
It’s hard to accept you’re relying on me

I’m burning this bridge it’s not holding up
My patience ran thin yeah I called your bluff
I bottled my feelings the day that you left
Yeah I tried to be cool, I’m not cold enough
It would be funny if I ran into you on a corner, street, or party
If I’m just telling you the truth,
My heart already broke before it started

(sd)
I’m so beautiful, so beautiful
You’ve got front row seats to the dream
To scream my name back at me, pretend
I’m in control, I’m in control
All eyes on me, on me, on me, on me, on
Five more steps, fingers around my neck
Five down and one ‘til I’m dead
Five counts and I’m catching my breath
Five more steps, fingers around my neck
Five down and one ‘til I’m dead
Five counts and I’m catching my breath
Five more steps, fingers around my neck
Five down and one ‘til I’m dead
Five counts and I’m catching my breath
Five more steps, fingers around my neck
Five down and one ‘til I’m dead
Five counts and I’m catching my breath

star★☆

five w/ musa (sd + can of bliss + wishlane)

4 of 10

cowritten by & featuring @t0rr
coproduced & mixed by @soupandreas
additional vocals & production by @daywaiter
mastered by Ryan Schwabe
art by atlas ezra

~~lyrics~~

(sd)
if it isn't all bad
but i still don't like it, ya
what do u call that?
what do u call that?
if it isn't all bad
but i still don't like it, ya
what do u call that?
what do u call that?
i don't know if i'm prepared for
anything more than this
oh what am i scared for
everything more than this
i don't know if i'm prepared for
anything more than this
oh what am i scared for
everything more than this

when i speak with my voice
at a regular tone
yeah u like that don't u
started telling myself
that i sound like this
cause i love being lied to
it came pouring out of me
And i don't know how
i've been so good lately, honestly
been too busy portaling
and i wont stop now
getting so close lately
i'm scared of me

(torr)
what do u call that
what do u call that
letting you trade away your pulpit for a ballgag
im been living apathetic to the betterment
go ahead and burn a cigarette into my letterman
i could be passed out dead in the doldrums
letting my cup runneth over til its all gone
how long did u expect yourself to keep on rising now
what goes up must come down you know
thats not surprising now

(sd)
if it isn't all bad
but i still don't like it, ya
what do u call that?
what do u call that?
if it isn't all bad
but i still don't like it, ya
what do u call that?
what do u call that?
i don't know if i'm prepared for
anything more than this
oh what am i scared for
everything more than this
i don't know if i'm prepared for
anything more than this
oh what am i scared for
everything more than this

(daywaiter)
never taking days off, yeah
end up with the shades on
now we never taking days off yea
(yea yea yea)
bouncing on the lip cause i was riding too slow
chomping at the bit its inevitable
(oooooo ooooo)
look what they gave us (if i took a little bit i’m rolling)
takin a day off (just another little hit i’m calling)
keeping the shades on (keep it coming till you hit that bottom)
kicking the chains off (just another little hit i’m wanting)
look how it paid off (if i took a little bit i’m rolling)
never a day off (just another little hit i’m calling)
keeping the shades on (have another and you’ll hit that bottom)
but we just can’t stop there

wdyct w/ torr (soupandreas + sd)

10 of 10

featuring, coproduced, & cowritten, & mixed by @can-of-bliss
mastered by ryan schwabe
art by atlas ezra

~~lyrics~~

(sd)
i am the target i’ve been trying to reach
but all of my verses feel shallow to me
the only words i believe in are too painful to speak
make my trauma a collar pulled so tight i can’t breathe

if i work hard enough, i can get out of this town
while all of your parents are just flying you out
give my honest opinion, put your head in the ground
if you want explanation, i’ll be shutting my mouth
but i play games to make being broke feel fun
wondering how much money can i waste this month
spill my guts to the cashier while she’s ringing me up
i could go back to california anytime that i want

i am the target i’ve been trying to reach
but all of my verses feel shallow to me
the only words i believe in are too painful to speak
make my trauma a collar pulled so tight i can’t breathe

(can of bliss)
i wanna hurt you and make you feel bad
and then have a breakdown and show you that i'm sad
but i know i won't do that cause that's kinda dumb
make discussion, tell you where i'm from
i get so frustrated every day of the month
cause i'm not getting all the attention i want
doesn't help it's been so long since i made a new song
yeah it's been so long, yeah it's been so long

(sd + can of bliss)
i am the target i’ve been trying to reach
but all of my verses feel shallow to me
the only words i believe in are too painful to speak
make my trauma a collar pulled so tight i can’t breathe
i am the target i’ve been trying to reach
but all of my verses feel shallow to me
the only words i believe in are too painful to speak
make my trauma a collar pulled so tight i can’t breathe

(sd)
don't take it serious
i've been doing so bad lately
don't take it serious
i've been doing so bad lately
i've been doing so bad lately

(sd + can of bliss)
i am the target i’ve been trying to reach
but all of my verses feel shallow to me
the only words i believe in are too painful to speak
make my trauma a collar pulled so tight i can’t breathe
i am the target i’ve been trying to reach
but all of my verses feel shallow to me
the only words i believe in are too painful to speak
make my trauma a collar pulled so tight i can’t breathe

collar w/ can of bliss

3 of 10

cowritten by & featuring @soupandreas
additional production by @bbbbfc
mastered by Ryan Schwabe
art by atlas ezra

~~lyrics~~

(sd)
and i promise you this
i won’t be worth nothing to ya when i stop making hits
my character’s nobody if she stops talking shit
when i can’t record the verses that i don’t believe in
whatever, shut up, go fuck yourself
i gotta get me out my head
whoever she was i wish her well
before you snap her neck
i bet half of you’d curse me to hell
if i just think about it
freak out daily, don’t stop to breathe
i can’t say no, afraid you’ll leave
in the right city at the wrong time
making all the right moves with the wrong guys
seeing all the right things with the wrong eyes
living in the right ways with the wrong life
(at least that’s what i think it’s like)

i guess this is how i find out
can i keep it up or do i wind down
laughing, oh my god she’s such a sellout
hold her head under the water, you should be proud
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout

(soupandreas)
saying all the right things at the wrong times
doing all the right scenes with the wrong lines
feeling like an extra in my own life
can you see that i'm afraid of that
or do you feel the same on the inside
i can't breathe anymore
making my way to the door
spilled my guts on your floor
don't know what i did it for
i tried to sell you a lie
you ripped away the disguise
wish i could run back the time
and make it all alright

(sd)
i guess this is how i find out
can i keep it up or do i wind down
laughing, oh my god she’s such a sellout
hold her head under the water, you should be proud
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout
she’s such a sellout

sellout

sellout w/ soupandreas (sd + bbbbfc)

2 of 10

cowritten, coproduced, & featuring @wishlane
mastered by ryan schwabe
art by atlas ezra

~~lyrics~~

(sd)
i can taste the menthol in your spit
i'd probably complain if i was really tryna quit
tried to do the math on what it means when you commit
cause i'm only ever underneath, you love how i submit
i don't get much more direct than this
if you wanted to know me, you should've known me when we were kids
naming everyone i walked all over in the stupid emo songs i wrote
why does forever feel like just a couple years ago

less than enough, less than enough, less than enough for ya
less than enough, less than enough, less than enough for ya
less than enough, less than enough, less than enough

(wishlane)
do you mind if i want it
do you mind if i want it

do you mind if i talk in half measures to fill up the space in between
(the lie and the truth)
is it really the sorrow and the pity thats keeping you wrapped in the sheets
(like every night)
cos sundown gets your stomach in knots
do you excuse yourself just to get what you want
like every time you get hurt, its someone elses fault
and i dont think you even know what it costs

so make me think im less-than
just to kill some time
you can use it as a weapon
any time you like
keep me wrapped between your fingers
just to keep your lie intact
you dont know the half
but you do it right back
cos now im falling so carelessly just to please you
you turn your shoulder so callously, did you mean to
let me in on your secret, i see the real you
oh, was it all so one-sided, or was it me too

clove w/ wishlane

7 of 10

cowritten by & featuring @daywaiter
coproduced & mixed by @st1cksyea
mastered by Ryan Schwabe
art by atlas ezra!

~~lyrics~~

(sd)
i recently realized
i’ve been the bad guy for a long time
and that doesn’t sit right
i gotta take charge of my life
i’ve gotta be fine for me or fine with me
spend a lot of time with me
cause what’s good for you ‘s not good for me at all
i gotta be honest
can’t be hard to be honest
wait why’s it hard to be honest
why’m i always stuck on it

truth be told it’s been a while since i’ve been writing
wish i could say that it’s been longer since i’ve lied and
can’t make promises but i know i don’t wanna end up like him
these thoughts can’t be intrusive if i invite them
look, what do you want
do you check your read receipts to see whose side you’re on
no proof is enough
you look past the words i say to criticize the tone

(daywaiter)
hey
its always fun
to fault when you're involved
i'm so uncomfortable and i'm freezing cold
reminds me of a white lie i once told
of a bond that we lived on until we broke it
a token, i'm all choked up
tried put that act to bed
instead you called my bluff
its funny how its hard to find
till your in inches of your life
that inches further was the light
that coulda broken your disguise

i've told you like so many times
that its all in your mind
so lets leave it behind us
evolved into someone your kind
now i know what its like
and i hate being honest
i've told you like so many times
that its all in your mind
so lets leave it behind us
evolved into someone your kind
now i know what its like
and i hate being honest

(sd)
i recently realized
i’ve been the bad guy for a long time
and that doesn’t sit right
i gotta take charge of my life
i’ve gotta be fine for me or fine with me
spend a lot of time with me
cause what’s good for you ‘s not good for me at all
i gotta be honest
can’t be hard to be honest
wait why’s it hard to be honest
why’m i always stuck on it

honest

honest w/ daywaiter (st1cks + sd)

8 of 10

coproduced & mixed by @can-of-bliss
mastered by ryan schwabe
art by atlas ezra

~~lyrics~~

	
you didn't wanna be seen with me
told everyone you wanted to fuck
i never said i wanted you in me
but i never said i wanted to stop
you can feel so old when you're fifteen
but at 22 you're not grown up
keep the memory but not what's in between

i don't wanna be stuck in your passenger seat
just let me out, i've gotta think a bit, you know

told the only person who'd hear me
she said the thought was making her sick
sarah doesn't hate the person within me
but i'm not being a good catholic
she thought she'd get the perfect boyfriend
look at how i'm proving her wrong
i don't ever doubt she remembers

i don't wanna be stuck in your passenger seat
just let me out, i've gotta cry a while, and i can't tell you why

can you pull the car over
i've gotta throw up
as if to remember it wasn't enough
a perfecter person
could just let it go
but i'm stuck reliving what nobody knows

pullthecar (sd + can of bliss)

6 of 10

mixed by @soupandreas
mastered by ryan schwabe
art by atlas ezra

~~lyrics~~

i saw a boy turn into smoke
convinced myself i’m dreaming
he gestured back shot a pointed glance
at a cycle still repeating

oh it won’t be easy catie
you just gotta try
if you don’t see yourself in me
just look in my eyes

i knew a girl who took so much
she couldn’t stop the bleeding
19 years old with no map
and a skill for self-defeating

she's tellin' everybody she fucks
that she doesn’t feel anything when she gets touched
and she’s bargaining one more month
against one more drink or one more cut
yeah she's tellin' everybody she loves
that it’s their fault she isn’t growing up
yeah she's tellin' everybody she trusts
she’s just having fun and they care too much

oh it won’t be easy catie
you just gotta try
do you still see yourself in me
when you wanna die

i've been a girl who gets so choked up
every time she’s speaking
pretends the awful things she put behind her won’t be creeping up
again again again again
again again again again
again again again again
again again again

oh it won’t be easy catie
you just gotta try
you haven’t been yourself lately
what does it feel like
if it was easy catie
you’d just follow the light
promise you’ll never hate me
just to dull the bite

dare

11 of 10

mastered by ryan schwabe
art by atlas ezra

~~lyrics~~

You came to my party with that girl you fucked
Who had a fiancee when you fell in love
All my friends are sick of hearing your name
Every time i get a little bit lonely
I made a promise to leave it alone
But i don’t think that’s possible

I want your hands on me
I wanna say sweet things
I wanna make you laugh
And see you smile so big
I want your hands on me
I wanna say sweet things
I wanna make you laugh
And see you smile so big
Sometimes i feel too crazy
Especially lately
You’re calling me catie
I’m calling you baby
Freaking out daily
Feel like i can't breathe
But i can't say no
Cause i'm afraid you’ll leave

Cause i'm not like you
Cause i'm not like you at all
Cause i'm not like you
Cause i'm not like you at all

If i had found the key and just stopped
I would define myself by the lock
If i could wait for it to turn out like you want
I wouldn’t have written everybody’s favorite songs

not like you - bonus

all @dylazy except for some art help from @reksi420 :3

Can you just swim in water
If you can't swim I'll hold you
but if you don't go to the deep end
I'll never grow up

My madrigal
you're fucking tired of me again
My madrigal
I hope you want me by the end

Hearing 8 different opinions is confusing to me
and I'm supposed to pick up the guns and make them see what I want to
It's hard
and it's a journey that honestly feels like
its way too far from me

never go run it back
feel the ice on my back
cause i want u to be here
right in my arms
right in my arms
right in my

you say you want me that's a lie though
im always calling what a psycho
I wanna feel wanted
but ig im not ur favourite sidekick

Tell me when the time is
Clock goes tick tock
but not for my shit

You're never free
is it that I make to many jokes about the fact that I'm into pee..

(and im not feeling focused)
ADH generation obsessed with sex and accusations

My madrigal
you're fucking tried of me again
My madrigal
I hope you want me by the end

Madrigal

where i'm at

mixed by @soupandreas
mastered by Ryan Schwabe
cover art by @daywaiter, photographed by niko olivo

catherine never broke again

♪♫ portland based popstar ♪♫

4% of @webcage 
contact: saoirsedream@gmail.com

pullthecar (sd + can of bliss)

saoirse dream

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