from soap water album, by carwash 
℗ 2021 Playroom

friendship [carwash]

why can I feel

when I’m not real

cause I can’t  eat I can’t sleep I can’t think 

without you on my mind 

Everytime

when I'm not real+1.o

It’s just something that I thought about 
Never thought that I would act it out 
Try to make it past another day 
Another day where I don’t harm myself 
A premonition of a funeral 
And my name is on the headstone 
When you looked at me I felt ashamed 
I couldn’t help but hate what I became

There was a ritual inside of the grove 
A thousand souls but I still feel alone 
A pale horse was standing by my side 
I lit a flame hoping we would be entwined 
I don’t know what I thought I could achieve 
I only wished that I receive eternal sleep 
There was a body dead in front of my feet 
I looked em in the face and noticed it was me

Pale Horse

I hate you like I hate the smell of cigarettes 
the sweet but bitter scent of Florence 
but I love you and I love the love we shared 
but was it love or was it just manipulation?
you didn’t call, gave no words of reassurance 
you just disappeared 
and I have no idea if you were real at all
but the person that I used to know has died 

new emotion, a pain i’ve never felt before 
the depth of this feeling’s inconceivable 
I don’t wanna feel anymore 

did three years mean anything to you?
or do you only care about your reputation?
I think I made you up inside my head 
when I see you now, I only see a stranger 

avoiding you at every cost it takes
but I still want to catch a glimpse for some reason 
I saw you through the window of the bus
I saw your eyes but was there anything behind them?
and do you even feel remorse for what you did?
if you loved me then you never would’ve done it 
you plunged the knife directly in my back 
and run away as if it never even happened 

new emotion, a pain i’ve never felt before 
the depth of this feeling’s inconceivable 
I don’t wanna feel anymore 

did three years means anything to you?
or do you only care about your reputation?
I think I made you up inside my head
when I see you now, I only see a stranger  

and even as I pour my heart into a song, you still don’t care 
and I could write a thousand words on how I feel 
but it would never satisfy me

and you continue living your own life 
and just discard me like I never even mattered 
I wonder who is staring back at you 
when you look yourself directly in the mirror 
the sweet facade that everybody knew will fade away with time 
for now you’ll keep on lying to yourself 
and you’ll just leave me here to shrivel up and die 

new emotion, a pain i’ve never felt before 
the depth of this feeling’s inconceivable 
I don’t wanna feel anymore 

did three years mean anything to you?
you clearly only care about your reputation
I know I made you up inside my head 
and when I see you now I only see a stranger

stranger

Eyes

My personal favorite on the album, It's the song that started it all.

The Goddess

I dont mean to swear 
At what time would I find you 
Here and there
Jealousy 
I know you’d rather watch a movie 
Or two
And we’d much rather be out casting spells
But you look so cozy and loved and well

The puffiness in your eyes says otherwise 
My lawn needs mowing and I could use a hand or two 
Just keep your distance and stay up there
Don’t come down or you might not see where 
All along we tried to catch butterflies 
Escaping reality that sought to make you cry 

No matter how hard I try,
No matter how hard I fight

I don’t wanna leave you I know that
Mama bird stay safe on my tree
This weather gets real cold and rainy but I’ll keep you safe 
wait wait wait for me There’s 
time and I won’t bother you much
Just let me hear your song again 
Baby bird

bird song

It fell apart
For good reason
It fell apart
It was my season

For the life to tumble
For the life to fall
For the life, I dreamt
For the life I called

Me
But, it wasn't me
It was to rot for
Someone I was not

I lived a life
For someone, I thought
Cared for my dreams
Cared for my loss

I started to build it back up
When someone who cared
When someone loved
When someone was there

They came into my life
It was great
They came into my life
I'm back to the same

Old self
Old soul
Old dreams
Old gold

It's time, it's time
To take back what is mine
It's time, it's time

Relax
Relax
It's my gold
Relax
It's my gold
Relax
It's my gold
Relax
It's my gold
Relax
It's my gold

Rebuilding Life (Reprise)

Wonder (Prod by. peril)

You are the one
You are my truth
You are beautiful

Only You Can Save, the, The Youth

I sit next to you
I feel your power
I need your strength
I need your showers

Of

Love
And Support
Strength
And Wisdom

I speak to you
Forever
With
Precision

You are the one
You are my truth
You are beautiful

Only You Can Save, the, The Youth

I'll
Understand this life
I'll
Make you priority
Save me from the demons
The demons
Who destroy
Your Authority

You are the one
You are my truth
You are beautiful

Only You Can Save, the, The Youth

You are the one

You are my truth

You are beautiful

Only You Can Save, the, The Youth

The Youth
The Youth
The Youth
The Youth
The Youth
The Youth
The Youth
The Youth
The Youth

You are the one
You are my truth
You are beautiful

Only You Can Save, the, The Youth

The Youth
The Youth
The Youth
The Youth
The Youth

friendship [carwash]

chol