lyrics:
Cause she just likes to get drunk
Every day
She falls in love with every punk
Then they run away, cause she hates herself
And you can fucking tell
She'll try to pick up the pace
And settle down
But it is always too late
To turn it around
She doesn't know when to stop
She'll just wait till she drops
And she'll get back on the speed
And Xanax bars
Cause that shit makes her feel free
And with the stars
And she'll fly away
You'll never see her again
One, two, three let's go

She'll fly away
You'll never see her again
And she'll get back on the speed
And Xanax bars
Cause that shit makes her feel free
And with the stars
And she'll fly away
You'll never see her again

she (intro)

lyrics
We are the trees
So effortlessly
And we shed our leaves
After we turn green
The blood we will drink
Is starting to sink in
And I haven't seen it
The way you perceive me
So can I restart
I just needed a breather
The running's making my feet hurt
I need to get the believers
As close as I can

Cause we are never alone
When we're needed to grow
Just like the trees
For eternity

At the drop of a pea
All of our baby teeth
Draw out old memories
Far past what we can think
And the dreams we would dream
Fill things up to the seams
I don't think we should leave
Dreading what has to be
I know i said I won't
But I'm needing to flee
Soaring far over trees
We can live with the bees
As we all stay afloat

Cause we are never alone
When we're needed to grow
Just like the trees
For eternity

we are the trees

written/produced/mixed & mastered by me
and so begins the bitter wind
cutting up my brittle hands and heavy heaving hearts will stop again
ive made a name to call me by and see it with your own two eyes i don't think that 
your love was ever here
and now im in a darker place where light has no room to escape and hearts will glow to create something safe
a dream of sorts you're on the porch and talking to the moon and he says "every little thing will be okay"

and you will wonder why it's not
and while your heart begins to rot 
all the love you had for me will dissipate
and all the branches in the yard growing fungus going far things will start to finally create a face

dissipate

lyrics:
There was a time under a bridge
We spray-painted along the ridge
A poem I had wrote for you
You said it made your heart feel blue
But in a funny way you see
Like you could understand my teeth
When they would show up through my smile
It made our feelings last awhile

And then it started pouring rain
And we walked home our heads in pain
From breathing in all of the fumes
To bring out all the different hues
Surrounding us while we would scream
Our mouths were stained with silly things
It hurt so much before we knew
But now we do, but now we do

But now we do and I am through
With walking over glass for you
You said my name and then I cried
It hurts my eyes, it hurts my eyes
The kindergarten state of mind will hopefully begin to die
And I will not be by your side, but will you miss me
Why, oh why

There was an hour of the day
Where we both chose to run away
We didn't get but twenty miles
Before we missed the friendly smiles
And hopeful lights inside the trees
A sign we should have kept going
But we were only children then
We might still be, there is no end

There is no end, the light is gone
And I'll continue moving on
The fist you used to hurt me then
To grip my throat till I would bend
And snap beneath the weight of you
My love for you has been abused
I hope you read this letter dear
My thoughts and fears, thoughts and fears

And after everything, I still look for an excuse to hear it again
The soft breaths, and not one night spent alone
To know happiness as a physical thing was delicate, it was too delicate

But now we do and I am through
With walking over glass for you
You said my name and then I cried
It hurts my eyes, it hurts my eyes
The kindergarten state of mind will hopefully begin to die
And I will not be by your side, but will you miss me
Why, oh why
And I will not be by your side, but will you miss me
Why, oh why
And I will not be by your side, but will you miss me
Why, oh why

kindergarten

lyrics:
Again and again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
I can see right through you
I can see inside your shell
Won't you call me worthless
Won't you say you're doing well
And we were only thirteen
When we decided not to care
The lights are getting brighter
And now we're losing all our hair, and teeth, and flesh and seeds
And mother seems to be calling
Ignore the phone
And cut ourselves
The blood will pour
Oh well, oh well
We'll find someone to raise us new
I'm growing pretty fond of you
Addicted to a feeling that I miss
A couple of them, there's a list
And you would be the first to know
When I give in, into the snow
When I finally overdose
I love you, thought I'd let you know

I love you, thought I'd let you know
I love you, thought I'd let you know
I love you, thought I'd let you know
I love you, thought I'd let you know

I can't seem to breathe
I can't seem to stop speaking
About the freezing cold
And how it's making us grow old
And I always saw it coming
I never knew it'd be so soon
I need to get some answers
I need to get away from you, your eyes they draw me in
The gravity, it gives me wind
To pull myself out of the pit
I fall back in, I fall back in
Mistakes will make us greater in the end
But there's no help to grow from them
Whatever should I approach next
The choice could lead right to my death

And I'm so close
And I'm so close
The air is thin, a comatose
And don't go home
And don't go home
I need your help down in my bones
And I'm so close
And I'm so close
The air is thin, a comatose
And don't go home
And don't go home
I need your help down in my bones

And this must be the end
The grasshoppers will fly again
And all the long lost kids
Will be abandoned once again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
Again and again and again and again
Again and again and again and again

ignore the phone

produced/mixed/mastered by me
i can't listen to you again
it makes me miss all of my friends
the ones who wish that i were dead
these memories won't leave my head
and the cotton candy cigarettes
the smoke detected killer threat
the knots too tight to break a sweat 
around my neck or better yet

tied around a willow tree
the blossoms cover everything
can you hear the song i sing
the ground gets closer to my feet
i crave a bittersweet release
something warmer something free
and then i hear the crackling
and so the earth my body meets

below the tree where i will rest 
im turning blue my eyes are red
the little ones are tucked in bed
and you still yell as if they're deaf
they're crying for you father dear
you said you'd always be right here
the heroin inside the drawer
the days go on you crave it more

one more shot
and you'll be fine
wish that you could read my mind
stars above they hear my cry
please don't let them die (die die)
mothers gone i watched her fly
away from us she lied lied lied
rub my head say it's alright
ill try my best to make things right

father sister brother cry
as they look in your lifeless eyes
without your love what will i do
The heaven song will play for you

heaven song

rosewood
rolls off the tongue
car hood cover the sun
and heartbreak 
as cold as the sun
it might take 
your heart and run
doom falls 
harder for one
dying in your bed alone
and daddy
he said I'm coming home
expected but not from that one

rosewood

Please be patient, as we enter a short intermis-ttem-ttem-ttem-ttem
Mis-mis-ttem-ttem-ttem-ttem
Please be patient, as we enter a short intermission
We thank you for your courtesy
We thank you for-cour-cour-cour

Feverishly I run away
As the curtains close I'm miles away
And you don't have to follow me
I'm going where you shouldn't be
And everything will start to melt
The butterflies, the cottontails
Don't disregard the journey dear
I'll find myself, just wait a year

And I don't want to tell you what you already know
The silly poems written aren't silly anymore
We'd joke about it then but now it's every night and day, what can I say

This is the intermission, now
So you can rest and lay around
And process what I had to say
Then we can go about our day

Testing, testing
The production is about to begin
Please find your seat
We hope you enjoyed your time of rest, and reflection
Preup-preup-preup-preup-pe
Cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue
Cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue-cue
Cue
Thank you for your patience
Please enjoy the rest of the production

(1nterm1ss1on)

allostatic load - fail better, heal faster

lyrics:
and the spooky ghost will come around
when we are lost, and can't be found 
when fearing trust cos i hurt you
ill start to find the final clue
cos they're afraid to give me up
but not of what's inside the cup
im terrified and i can't breathe
the spooky ghost is in the sheets

we'll find our way back forward
just because you spoke those four words
cut 2 holes out for our eyes 
can we fall in, can we fall in 
can we fall in before we die
all alone again my life
can we fall in b4 we die

the spooky ghost is coming close
while we take off our dirty clothes
the list is long, of things to do
like jumping in the way for you
id drown myself to hear the song
forgotten it's been far too long
the candy wrappers cover me
if i am you, then you are me

the rasberries are bleeding
nothing quite so out of season
i will bloom as big as you
then we come home
then we come home
then we come home
to baby blue
oh spooky ghost i need you most
then we come home to baby blue

baby blue

lyrics:
the lonely witch
alone again
she tried to fall in love but when
it all fell apart
she couldn't just restart
cos she had come so far
so far
so she picked up and left
her heart was torn to shreds
and death was surely on
her head

but you will burst into my thoughts
when my blood is boiling hot
or you will send me short term texts
to get my hopes up make me red
am i okay with it yet?
to know that i've become the witch
to speak my spells
but never fix myself

she always loved the rain
but hated love, the same
for she could never figure out
how to solve the quiz
equations made her pissed
she just wanted time away
to figure out the list
of things she couldn't get
off of her mind she drew
the lines

the lonely witch

Wish I could see
What's in front of me
And I'm losing sleep
Over amphetamines
They're numbing my teeth
And can I just keep
Myself from following
If Jodi could breathe
Then I would keep on growing, and callus my feet
I've walked for ten miles
For nothing, at least
Each other we'll see

If Jodi could breathe

if jodi could breathe (outro)

lyrics:
i forgot already
why you told me i should go
but i remember being drunk and asking u to use ur phone
must have made myself look dumb
cos all i talked about was how i started rolling joints last night
and that i couldn't wait to go to california
and i'd ask u if you'd been and what's it like
up in the mountains, and i'll add i've lived in texas most my life
and you would roll ur eyes but i would ponder off and never notice you were mad
and you call me saying shit that sounds like this

what's it like in phoenix
do u miss me 
are u scared
how's the weather over there
do u still play cyberpunk 
sorry that's a stupid question 
i just don't know what to say 
2077 might be better days

arizona's hot but not as hot as texas or nevada in the summer 
and the drive was kind of long because i drove through by myself 
listening to bon iver and some nirvana
and that song blind pilot sang
it made me think of u before i saw the sunset 
in colorado in the rain and so i pulled my car on over 
cos i heard ur voice and this is what u said

what's it like in phoenix
do u miss me 
are u scared
how's the weather over there
do u still play ESO
sorry that's a stupid question 
what's a better one these days
we're all burnt out lost ourselves washed down the drain

what's it like back home and do i miss you?
yes i do
yes i wanna be with u
we don't have to talk too much
that's ok cos i do bad with conversation
and we’ll live in mmos
we don't care
and we don't know

phoenix, arizona (demo)

the lights dim, the curtains open
and i am center stage; im glowing thru my face
n your eyes pierce me like im hope
but im hopeless all the same like pieces of a page 
i explode into flames
leave the audience amazed
all the oos and the ahhs i can't hear through the state
i engulfed myself in
yes i know the end
and i’m sorry to say but this isn't it
i digress
get it off my chest
cos im breathing less
the stangehand is calling me exit stage left
the audience claps
they beg for me back
an earful of love 
and a knife in my back

turn the playbill over and see
the mark of the beast above the casting
analyze the body language of our neighboring seats
find spies who'll peek
and edit the flow of our favorite showing
the audience knows but the show will keep going
anger arises for those in disguises
the curtain will close intermission arrived

pulling needles of wood from my fingers
im building the set
designed to hold the best
the director has favorites
im not one of them
i showed a selfish whim and dishonesty to mend
and made so many cry
without batting an eye
i was careless and afraid that i'd get left behind
in my mind
everybody wants to watch me die
fear became reality doubt became real life
recovery ain't new to me
it's like riding bikes
i still wish there was a manual
to guide me thru the heights
nurture what you have til the showing's in the past
never showing it again
we finally meet the end
say goodbye

i don't write 
with pen or paper anymore
i guess i
should practice bringing boats ashore
every life
equivalent unique and more
please dont die
watch it self repair the world
spins on it's axis the gravity taxes 
you are but a speck in a universe massive
time exists outside us watch it as it passes
colors change but you're the same
people left and people came

people grow witness change
trust again, break the chains
memories are born again
memories are born again

people grow witness change
trust again, break the chains
memories are born again
memories are born again

written by a psychopath
suicide alone out back
many of you cried
not sure as to why
be it leather or a paperback
all the same, it's words you lack
read it all again
director waves a hand
exit stage left

exit stage left

dust bowl iii - other lives cover

lyrics:
im familiar with everything that's going on around me
i remember i relied on white and everyone to tell me i look pretty
i didn't see too many
but now im seeing less and i confess that i am starting to forget
what having somebody is like
somebody to cry to but instead i want to hide inside my room and talk to nobody at all
i built another wall
i wanted to get better can u see me in the cellar as i curl into a ball
please dont think of me at all

i thought i was grown up when i turned 17
little did i know that growing up required me to fuck up time and time again
i lost so many friends
im almost 22 but im still growing up my hands don't look the same as they did then
wish that i could try again
build up one more wall and take the fall to save us all
please don't think of me at all

please dont think of me at all (demo)

need 2 - pinegrove cover

allen page's midnight ride - panucci's pizza cover

prod/mix/master by me
cover of liam's song 'pocket' off of their album 'railcar radio' 

lyrics:
yeah, i'm always upset
cause you're always in my head
there is nothing that could weigh me down more 
not even this lead
and if you could always let me know when you are going to stop by
i would pull the tissue out my pocket and i'd wipe my eyes

pocket- akemie5o cover

everything is going to hell cover

i don't know why i keep thinking this is going to work

lyrics:
Im floating in my bed
Thoughts pooling in my head
My teeth are chomping down on popcorn
I can’t feel my limbs
My body feels so dim
My brain receptors follow him

I feel sound 
I feel sight
I feel everything around me tonight

The moon man looks at me
His toothy grin widening
My heart drops all the way to my knees
My vision’s getting blurry
Oh god why can’t I hurry
I can’t remember where we began

thin mints and popcorn (DEMO)

the last demo before the album is officially released
(artwork done by allyssa van cuyk)

affection

demo I wrote for a project that is currently in the works

derogatory robot- demo

lyrics:
so this is what you meant
when i saw you get distant
i begged and pleaded you
free of care you used
me to tie your shoes
to pick you off your blues
with all the wine we sipped
you never gave a shit

and now im lost inside a glass museum
what did i do to make you look to him
i thought the trip we had meant more
but now im hurting im so fucking sore

so this is what you meant
when u put it to an end

glass museum

lyrics:
i wasn't thinking
the night i told u all abt my feelings
but u jus listened
shared a smile or 2
i loved looking at u

i matched the distance
met u on a train and u made me think that i was going insane
but in a good way
if that makes any sense
i kind of enjoyed it

the distance

I tried
tried to explain how I wasn't right
and now I don't know how I will survive
shadows round me I don't even mind
mind

you lied
lied about the things you couldn't hide
so I stopped caring stopped trying to fly
amidst all of these feelings I'm so high

rest your head inside of mine
fill it up with pretty lies 
and I'll try to get a clue so I can open up to u
and start breaking ur heart instead of mine
every time
if I got time
I don't have time
every time

time (ft. spencer)

speak
but do it softly
for the creatures in my ceiling they are listening to our conversations
look
they caught us staring
and we run away for days and days hoping that this isn't all for nothing

untitled - 10/14/19, 9:01

how many times do I have to say why
why it never really seemed like I tried 
I ran thru the dirt and I scuffed up my shoes
I treated the wounds and I iced up my bruise
the pain this all caused made me suck up to u
so why must I wait, validate you
and pick all the trash up I kept stepping on
my brain can't take it
I'm yelling oh my god
oh my god
oh my god

Carrington Ln

lyrics:
sometimes i gotta settle down and get out
you told me everything you said we cried out
and i saw you going down the hill i chased you
tripped scraped my knee and overheard the sky blue
and i found the polaroid you took in my room
and thoughts that are overwhelming me just break through
why can't the world acknowledge anything we do
trying so hard but we never really made do

broken hearts make for good words 
but it sucks when we get hurt
i wish i was clear

sometimes we fight and scream and yell and shut up
wish i could communicate feelings boxed up
life's pain and art so i try to relate to
everything i can possibly hold onto

drugs and love
aren't enough
when i see you
my world lights up
i wish u were clear

sometimes- demo

lost and found (original)

doing all the things i used to do wif ppl-cover (redo)

music video: https://youtu.be/dpTSzwYpQqM
My first studio recorded single!!
lyrics:
i don't know why i can't see
my vision's getting real blurry
my legs are numb my arms are weak
my body has a fleeting feeling
took the hit and held it in
and then my lungs start to expand
fill all the cracks and crevasses
i can't go back towards my friends

geometry embraces me
my ego's gone and so empty
now it's dark and nothing has need
i'll write you back when i can breathe

lyrics:
baby comes home to kill himself
his thoughts scattered across the shelf
mother tries to keep him safe
broken and angry she can't replace
a double life
the pain i hide
i can't let you see inside
please just let me breathe
i need air and i need speed

drinking the poison to stay awake
sober and colder inside my brain
8 missed calls i try to break
apart the sins i tried to claim
i am nothing a disgrace
stuck against the drugs i take
sniffing blow until i break
you don't know how much i hate
being apart of anyone
i bring depression with my songs
it's hard not to let them down
when all that i can do is frown

im your son
i came home
i tied the noose
i let you go
im dangling  
my visions black
and now there is no going back

baby comes home to kill herself

dollar bills and razor blades

one of my favorite songs in the world, and one of my favorite bands

afraid of everyone- the national cover

change (alex g cover) ft. postcard nowhere

she/her
https://linktr.ee/scruffpuppie
willows weep for me
notes for growing up (demos) presave link in the linktree

scruffpuppie

Pinned to spotlight

Popular tracks