feel better - scruffpuppie

i don’t wanna say goodbye 
i can stay a few more nights 
all those times u made me cry
am i weak if i don’t mind
you’re a pattern i repeat 
love the one who’s hurting me
am i weak if i don’t mind
picked it up when i was five

i’ll stay again
make sure i have nothing left 
i’ll drain myself 
trying to be the way that you see me 

i didn’t know that love isn’t hard 
the words that you say aren’t meant to leave scars
i’ll love you forever but that’s not by choice
i can’t but love all the people that hurt me

so 

i don’t wanna say goodbye 
i can stay a few more nights 
all those times u made me cry
am i weak if i don’t mind
you’re a pattern i repeat 
love the one who’s hurting me
am i weak if i don’t mind
picked it up when i was five

i don't wanna say goodbye

I Dont Wanna Say Goodbye

written/produced/mixed & mastered by me
and so begins the bitter wind
cutting up my brittle hands and heavy heaving hearts will stop again
ive made a name to call me by and see it with your own two eyes i don't think that 
your love was ever here
and now im in a darker place where light has no room to escape and hearts will glow to create something safe
a dream of sorts you're on the porch and talking to the moon and he says "every little thing will be okay"

and you will wonder why it's not
and while your heart begins to rot 
all the love you had for me will dissipate
and all the branches in the yard growing fungus going far things will start to finally create a face

dissipate

A thousand times and months again
I find you laying there, my friend
Drunken soldier, come again
They left you twitching in the vent
Months the snowing, cold and wind and
You were frozen to a crisp
But I still grabbed you by the wrist
And gripped your shoulder with my fist
And I said I love you so
You almost died and even though
It happens almost every night
So can we savor all our time

Toxic waste's inside my mind
It thinks about you all the time
Losing you to carelessness
When surely ends your endlessness

Don't stop taking all these pills
And pulling drapes over the hills
To cover all the hopelessness
I'm sure we both went into clear
But it won't happen very soon
The clock it ticks you close to noon
The time when we all fucking died
So can we savor all our time
Toxic waste's inside my mind
It thinks about you all the time
Losing you to carelessness
When surely ends your endlessness

Now you're laying in the bed
Your eyes are all back into your head
My heart begins to break
I knew this day would've come
Was it really worth it all
Frolicking through all our flaws?
I'll never hear you speak again
Your life is over
Where's my end?

Carelessness

Tell me all your deepest secrets
Boiling feelings in your brain
Drugs and drinks have held us tightly
Made us all go quite insane
But we've all stayed close together
We won't ever break these chains
Mom and dad have tried so hard
And brothers, sisters passed away
We are whole when we're together
Until our twenty-eighth day
Our sins have made the sky turn gray
Now I'm out and on my own
But I'll see you all some other day
When we are cured and clean again
It'll take a bit of patience
To get back on our feet again
From doing lines and sipping wine
And always thinking that we can
Get our shit together by ourselves
It's too much fucking pain
We need to know that we can ask for help
So we don't fall again
Standing in a parking lot
Without a car at 2 am
At some radio station
Picking up the broken pieces
That I scattered on your floor
We'll cry 'cause I won't do our chores
We are whole when we're together
Until our twenty-eighth day
Our sins have made the sky turn gray
Now I'm out and on my own
But I'll see you all some other day
When we are cured and clean again
I went back so many steps
Laughing softly
Crying slowly
Orange umbrellas
Pouring rain
We are whole when we're together
Until our twenty-eighth day
Our sins have made the sky turn gray
Now I'm out and on my own
But I'll see you all some other day
When we are cured and clean again

Assignment song

written, produced, mixed & mastered by me
lyrics:
all the time i question everything
and i feel like it's wrong
to pool my thoughts together wishing the list wasn't so long
and you tell me that im selfish
and i know its the truth
for who would sit inside her bedroom wishing that i could be with you
and i tell myself im worthy but i know that i am not
i will isolate myself and my skin will start to rot
and my heart will bust to pieces
they're too small to just pick up
see our lives will flash before my eyes
and my blood will fill the cup

‘cause its so scary 
just the thought of u
and i am married
to the thought of u

see it's 6am and i am half awake and i am lost
i've been up all night and my heart feels like it's about to pop
all the drugs i take will overwhelm me til i am but dust
blowing through the wind wishing that i could find another rush
but the wind will die and i will wish for peace inside my mind
need to get away from hoping all the days will turn to nights
and my thoughts will stray and i will be okay to just get high
excuses i will tell myself until my final night

‘cause its so scary 
just the thought of u
and i am married
to the thought of u

‘cause its so scary 
just the thought of u
and i am married
to the thought of u

the thought of you

Wish I could see
What's in front of me
And I'm losing sleep
Over amphetamines
They're numbing my teeth
And can I just keep
Myself from following
If Jodi could breathe
Then I would keep on growing, and callus my feet
I've walked for ten miles
For nothing, at least
Each other we'll see

If Jodi could breathe

if jodi could breathe (outro)

writing/production/mastering by me
co-drum mix by @ harry_._taylor on instagram 


lyrics:
i contradict 
myself too much
for my own good
i'm made of lust 
for love and loss
and when i lose myself i'll set the grass ablaze
i'll burn my face
july came through and i grew up in just a day
my wings are stuck inside the clay and i could break out but i stay why must i stay

elevation with a friend
i keep losing all of them
august only just began
i already miss my hands
rigor mortis fix my brain so i can level out my shoddy aim
i have a feeling you don't feel the same
so do i trust my gut or do i walk away

i move an inch 
the cracks will spread 
hope they can't hear
or else im dead stepped out of line a final time
my ego grows but now i'm right
turn out the light
i run away
but im not scared i run to change 
what will i share?
and now im shamelessly myself
im fucking drained
am i unwell

serotonin in the shell
i will dig myself through hell
may is oh so far away
but tomorrow won’t delay
dashing through the cloudless sky until i’m out of breath
and my wings are lacking rest
i know i didn’t give much hope but when we’re tying the rope
i wanna hold ur hand and say
i had fun
we aren’t done 
lookin thru the trash so we can find one
for memory
my lovely
i won’t let it go until my job’s done

clay wings

Com melodias fluidas e ritmos sincopados, a peça explora a dualidade entre inocência e experiência, acaso e destino. Cada nota soa como um passo em uma dança imprevisível, onde a vulnerabilidade encontra a liberdade e a improvisação reflete a própria jornada da vida em constante descoberta. Composição Madeira/Paiva - Featuring Gabi Rossi

clay wings

scruffpuppie

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