it's loud and i scream with autotune, you'll love it. <3

lyrics on genius: https://bit.ly/3tGOn2J

stream/buy it elsewhere pls:
spotify: https://spoti.fi/3ogbIqT
apple music: https://apple.co/3eHxbGe

up.2.u

lyrics:
i don't know if i told you
but i love your smile
and i've spent most of this winter
getting lost in your eyes
just the middle of december
we've been a thing like twice
i just want to keep you warm
and keep you here all night

i promise you
i'll keep you safe
you're the greatest gift
it's not even christmas day

on the 17th of december
the back of the room
you covered up my eyes and
brought me closer to you
you never thought about what you'd done
and we both know what you did
but i pulled you in closer
as i kissed you again

and we both knew we'd never be the same
(we both knew we were never the same)

the 17th of december! (i promise)

LYRICS:
______________

I guess I never really processed
How close we got
I never took notice
Of how much I lost

Yeah, and it makes no sense
How far we went
When it never really mattered
The time I spent up
Late at night 
Just to talk to you
I guess I didn't really think it through

She hit me up Tuesday
Said she wanna see me
She don't really care
If I pulled up there bleeding
What a mess, what a mess
Just let me go
What a mess, what a mess
But it's all I know
Up shooting your shot without the feelings
Stuck inside your head
Wish no one else would perceive it
What a mess, what a mess
Just let it go
What a mess, what a mess
There's more than you know

I guess it didn't make a difference
What I said to you
When the only thing you cared about
Was that I'd leave it up to you

Yeah, and it makes no sense
How far we went
When it never really mattered
The time I spent up
Late at night 
Just to talk to you
I guess I didn't really think it through

She hit me up Tuesday
Said she wanna see me
She don't really care
If I pulled up there bleeding
What a mess, what a mess
Just let me go
What a mess, what a mess
But it's all I know
Up shooting your shot without the feelings
Stuck inside your head
Wish no one else would perceive it
What a mess, what a mess
Just let it go
What a mess, what a mess
There's more than you know

WHAT A MESS !

LYRICS:
__________

I see your eyes
They sparkle like the sunset
Across the lake of the camp that I went to
The summer my eighth grade year
(The summer my eighth grade year)
And it's a weird feeling
Guess I'm not used to
Being so close to
All of the things that I dreamt of
And you right here next to me
(You right here next to me)

There's a clarity
And a feeling of
Just enjoying how far I've come
So still through everything
And my suffering
You're really all I can think of

You're not a thousand miles away
You're only down a couple roads
Trust me when I say
"You're more than just my girlfriend,
You're my home"

And if it makes you feel better
I'll make sure I'll see you again
Like Mississippi weather
We don't know what we're doing

But it's okay
(It's okay)
It's okay
(It's okay)
We're gay
(We're gay, it's okay)
It's okay
(It's okay)

It's okay!

home ! (its okay !)

a lil thing i did for novatone orbit 16

...so like...

...stream orbit 16 - https://novatone.fanlink.to/orbit-16

no(some)where !

LYRICS:
_________________

"You're just a cocksucking, dimwitted
Chubby little fucker"
What she said right to my face
Before she went off to our mother
Just another college kid who doesn't know herself
All I really want from her is just to wish me well

You'd never waste your time with me
It's always about you
And every little thing it means
It never gets to you
Keep on saying that it's not for the attention
I hope to God I don't believe in that you'll listen
(Ay, main character syndrome)
(Ay, main character syndrome)
(Ay, the main character)
(Who's gonna tell 'em)

And it's never gonna be okay for me
All the nights I've spent awake to find relief
From everything I never wanted to do to me
From everything I never wanted for you to see
And I can't shake the thought that you hate me

"I'm just a cocksucking, dimwitted
Chubby little fucker"
What I say just to myself
Before she goes off to our mother
Just another college kid who doesn't know herself
All I really want from her is just to wish me well

You'd never waste your time with me
It's always about you
And every little thing it means
It never gets to you
Keep on saying that it's not for the attention
I hope to God I don't believe in that you'll listen
(Ay, main character syndrome)
(Ay, main character syndrome)
(Ay, the main character)
(Who's gonna tell 'em)

main character syndrome

LYRICS:
____________

(Okay, open your mouth and say "ahh")

Gimme that shit in your mouth
Plaque, enamel, root canals
Give it to me
Open that shit wide and
Let me pull 'em out
No dollar bills
No off-white walls
No satisfaction for your balls
Just want your pearly whites
All of your teeth
I want 'em all

I'll take your tongue so there's no way to lick up
All of the cream when you're sucking my dick up
Hands in the air so he called it a stick up
I took out his mouth from the teeth to maxilla
Both of my hands in your mouth like it's dentistry
Can't stand the look of this bitch sittin' next to me
I oughta whack a bitch mafia style
And take out their teeth for a chomperless smile

Teeth, teeth, teeth
I want all your
Teeth, teeth, teeth
Give me all your
Teeth, teeth, teeth
I want all your
Teeth, teeth, teeth
Give them to me

I want your teeth and
I want 'em now
Give me your teeth
Plus your wife's and your child's
I'll take the whole jaw
Even the tongue
If you feel generous
Toss me a lung
I'm not a dentist
Got kicked out of college
Don't got the license but
I got the knowledge
Don't have a nurse
But it'll be fine
Just give me your teeth
Right now 'cause they're mine

Teeth, teeth, teeth
I want all your
Teeth, teeth, teeth
Give me all your
Teeth, teeth, teeth
I want all your
Teeth, teeth, teeth
Give them to me
Teeth, teeth, teeth
I want all your
Teeth, teeth, teeth
Give me all your
Teeth, teeth, teeth
I want all your
Teeth, teeth, teeth
Give them to me now

TEETHTEETHTEETH

a cover of @alaskasargent 's song "Faux," released on her EP "To Drown" which you should totally stream and buy and listen to oh my god it's really good.

listen to it here right now: https://soundcloud.com/alaskasargent/faux?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

we devised this really cool plan to have her release the original single and me cover it and also release it. however repost wasn't a fan of that so we had to take a rain-check on that original plan.

BUT NOW HERE WE ARE !!!
_______________________

lyrics:

numb the pain, i've let my teeth decay
i guess i'll wash my mouth out with some tanqeuray
i look at postcards of memories i can't afford to make
silhouettes upon a lonesome bridge
i open up the door, there's nothing in the fridge
besides a box of lies in which i can't afford to fucking reminisce

what is this
faux emotion
threw my phone out into the ocean
kept it folded and sealed the garden
withered flowers locked inside my closet
dishonest

shed a tear and get me out of here
i guess it's not as simple as it may appear
i look at songs i wrote when i was too young to know fear
daydream of a point in time i've lost
the miracle i wished for, never knew the cost
i throw my faults over the lines i know i've crossed upon

what is this
faux emotion
threw my phone out into the ocean
kept it folded and sealed the garden
withered flowers locked inside my closet
dishonest
faux emotion
threw my phone out into the ocean
kept it folded and sealed the garden
withered flowers locked inside my closet
dishonest

i just wanna feel alive no matter what it costs
i just wanna live life no matter how it breaks me down
i just wanna feel alive no matter what they say
i just wanna live life no matter how it breaks me down

faux

LYRICS:
___________

( self discovery )
I get worried when I take time for myself
Is it really for me or do I not like you that much?
Am I too selfish for just thinking of myself?
It's not important I think that it's time I grow up
I keep forgetting that you're better than the last ones
Is it too late to take back all of my regrets, love?
Yeah I'm okay I just not used to being unstuck
Exaggerating for attention I already have

It's all in my head, it's all
It's all in my head, it's all
It's all in my head, it's all
It's all in my head, it's all
It's all in my head, it's all
It's all in my head, it's all

( cyebug )
A little headache but it's nothing I can't shake off
A couple worries but you'll always take their place, love
Keep talking to me you don't ever need to shut up
No need to worry I will always keep you safe, love
I keep forgetting that you're better than the last ones
Is it too late to take back all of my regrets, love?
Yeah I'm okay I just not used to being unstuck
I'm falling for you every day, just say okay (woah)

It's all in my head, it's all
It's all in my head, it's all
It's all in my head, it's all

( both )
It's all in my head, it's all
It's all in my head, it's all
It's all in my head, it's all

(It's all in my head, it's all)
(It's all in my head, it's all)
(It's all in my head, it's all)
(It's all in my head, it's all)
(It's all in my head, it's all)
(It's all in my head, it's all)

allinmyhead (feat. Cyebug)

shoutout to @singin-in-the-rain for doing this with me

lyrics:
_________
staying up late
isn't good for my head
and it won't let me rest
'till i conquer my dread sooo i
so i'll lay in my bed 
and i'll just have to wait
for the night that went great to set in 
and i hate that it doesn't feel great

i wish you'd stop
stop crying when 
something of everything 
didn't go your way
and i wish you'd stop
stop lying and dodging the truth
that you're starting to decay

staying up late
isn't good for my head
and it won't let me rest
'till i conquer my dread sooo i
so i'll lay in my bed 
and i'll just have to wait
for the night that went great to set in 
and i hate that it doesn't feel great

i wish i'd send
send something to check if you're still getting caught around the bends
and if it depends
i think that i'd just want to 
meet you and tell you how it ends

stayed up too late
thoughts are pounding my head
of all the things left unsaid
it's dumb to say you ever loved yourself
scathing the names
all the things that they say
and though it only got worse
you can say you got better at managing it

i wish you'd stop
stop trying to play cool
and say that it's just what they said
and i wish you knew
knew something not nothing about
all the ways that this could end
(ways this could end)

thank you, i'm sorry, i love you, but the harder it gets to live, the harder it gets to feel.
i know that you're hurting but trust me it's a temporary state
and things will turn out great
and I can hardly wait
staying up late can't be good for my head
even if you had said i would conquer my dread, well I
well I guess this is it, and I have to admit, after all that I hid, and all that I did
I can see it through

why can't i stop
(i can't stop)
stop thinking and writing these words that cause pain
and here I go again

so now i should say
goodbye to myself 'cause the help that you need is here
(goodbye)
right here

no spoilers
you'll see how it ends

spoiler (w/ StormKloud)

idk what death is like, but i'm excited to find out !!

lyrics
____________

life flashes before my eyes
too quick to hold on to 
anything i hold dear
how weird
i wanna be the first of us to go
the first one to leave
so please

when it's time
if it takes
let it take it all away
when it's time
if it takes
let it take it all away from me
(from me)
(from me)

would it scare you a little too much
if i told you i want to know what happens next
what comes next?
would it be weird to say
i don't want to waste time
i just wanna skip to the end
until then...

(when it's time)
(when it's time)
(let it take it all away from me)
(from me)
(from me)

stream !

if it takes !

flop like a fish!

(i heard moore kismet's new album and was absolutely enamored by it. i figured it'd be fitting for me to remix one of my personal favorites from it.)

- [ REMIXES WITH FRIENDS, VOL. 2 ] -

---------------------------

// original : 
   - https://soundcloud.com/moorekismet/see-you-go-10?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing -

// follow moore kismet :
   - @moorekismet -
   - twitter.com/moorekismet_ -
   - instagram.com/moorekismet -

// follow courtney paige nelson :
   - @courtney-paige-nelson-17258398 -
   - twitter.com/courtneynelso11 -
   - instagram.com/courtneypaigenelson -

// follow self discovery :
   - @selfdiscoverymusic -
   - https://twitter.com/selfdiscmusic -
   - https://instagram.com/selfdiscoverymusic -

Moore Kismet - See You Go (feat. Courtney Paige Nelson) [Self Discovery Remix]

ugh, good riddance !

written, produced, mixed & mastered by self discovery

thank you to @disphing, @nullboy, @alowofficial, @skybr34kr & @avartii for saying the phrase "that's enough" hella times like a year ago love y'all

// lyrics

took a pilot to mark my score
made a push cause i wanted more
though it ended up with my blood on the bathroom floor
is this how you want me to save myself
drown in a puddle to save my health
despite the fact that it's worse than it's been before
(that's enough.)

look me in my face
tell me i'm a waste of space
and how i fail at everything i try
(fuck off)
i don't care what you have to say about me
(no more)
don't fucking talk to me ever again
i'm never gonna be you
i'm never gonna be
i'm never gonna be 17 ever again !

i hope if it wrote a letter
to myself it won't find me bitter
when i flew with the wings of change
the mess i made was hanging off my shoes
cause i know i've been so much better
but i talked until my own head hurt
was the worst spread along the way
to me today or had i started worse ?

look me in my face
though you don't have to say it again
just say it again
as your reminder of how you've missed me
look me in my face
though you don't have to say it again
you'll say it again
and you'll come to terms with the fact
you're gone !
(that's enough !)

i'm never gonna be you
i'm never gonna be
i'm never gonna be you
i'm never gonna be
i'm never gonna be you
i'm never gonna be
i'm never gonna be 17 ever again !
i'm never gonna be you
i'm never gonna be
i'm never gonna be you
i'm never gonna be
i'm never gonna be you
i'm never gonna be
i'm never gonna be 17 ever again !

7teenagain !

[for sui generis, vol. 6]

lyrics:
--------------
four months, fifteen days
maybe i can finally get away
maybe i can set a change of pace
(but can i get there?)
caught up on the time it'd take
it'd be nice to finally get a break
clear my head and take some time to think
(we're getting somewhere)
just a plane ride and some spare time
post graduation there's nothing to lose
but the high times and the sweet life
exaggerating, point's been made
it's a long drive, not even possible
but i'd do it all for just for the chance
to spend a week with you

just one more day of working
'till you've got all that you need
oh the carry-on bags and the marked up tags
spent too much money on the ticket
i'll be on my way home
(it's time to take a field trip !!!)

just one more day of working
'till you've got all that you need
oh the carry-on bags and the marked up tags
spent too much money on the ticket
i'll be on my way home
(it's time to take a f-f-f-f-f--fff------f--f--f !!!)

field trip !

a promise is a promise <3

lyrics
----------------
i think i wasted too much time
chasing memories
not enough time spent
between you and me
the conversations we have
aren't all that great
gotten lost in the things
that we used to say
in the back of the classroom
more than affection
even though we met last june
we took a hike
now we're trippin' over the rocks
i skinned both of my knees

after that, you left not much to say
don't take it back, just stay off in your lane
you couldn't handle the pressure
so you left for 16 days
is it possible it was just a mistake?
that's impossible, i was stuck on the train
you said to pack it up, that's when i got to
thinking about where did we go wrong?

and how far we fell
got me caught up in the details
caught up in the details
you got me thinkin' about
how far we fell
got me caught up in the details
caught up in the details
caught up in the details

it's not too late
we're still okay
we're still okay
it's not too late
we're still okay
we're still okay

caught up in the details
it's not too late
(we're still okay)
caught up in the details

DETAILS (acoustic)

"you've all gone up to the mountains, while i'm still stuck here in the trees !"

(for backdoor!, vol. 1: afterparty!)

-- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --
lyrics:
ten months, thirteen days
the time i said i planned to get away
from the stakes and mistakes
of the small town we used to breathe in

aren't you proud of me
for learning to live
despite the sour feeling
under my zip code
my lips loathe the taste
of the air that surrounds my home

and you'll admire that sunset
further from whence you came
and i'll cry "what about me ?"
aren't you glad i finally made it out ?

(aren't you glad i finally)

though i know, you don't know what it's like
for a kid to prepare for the end of their world every day
and our guidance was no more surprised
when they stood and they stared
at the end of an era again

and you'll admire that sunset
further from whence you came
as i cry "what about me ?"
aren't you glad i finally found my way ?
and you'll hit higher than high notes
think of me all the same
and i'll cry "what about me ?"
aren't you glad i finally made it out ?

newgame+⁺₊ !

i found my strength through you !

written, produced, mixed & mastered by self discovery

// lyrics

pull at my head from under the water
i'd rather go so deep that i can't breathe with you
than make the drive from my tree to the bottom
of the state in hopes that i'll have more to do

and i don't know if it should go unsaid
but some days i wanna go back the nights we spent
just to count down all the seconds each of us had left
till we flew off in opposite ways

and whether it's the paper cup against the wind
or the words across your oddamn lips
or the awkward night i thought we'd kiss
through the fear and love i found my strength through you
ooh, ooh
ooh, ooh
ooh, ooh
ooh, ooh

i changed my laugh eleven times that year
and with every passing version it was a joyous sound to hear
or so you said
as your voices traveled to my ears
i intruded on your triangle
but you said we made a square
as close friends do

and i don't know if it should go unsaid
but some days i wanna go back the nights we spent
just to count down all the seconds each of us had left
till we flew off in opposite ways

and i don't know if it should go unsaid
but some days i wanna go back the nights we spent
on the counter, at the table, and the night out
cause i don't wanna push you to push you away

and whether it's the paper cup against the wind
or the words across your oddamn lips
or the awkward night i thought we'd kiss
through the fear and love i found my strength
through all the tears that battered off my cheeks
and all the stupid songs that we would sing
and the games to take the load off me
through the years of love i found my strength through you

ooh, ooh
ooh, ooh
ooh, ooh
i found my strength through you

afraid to be the last one left
to share my story
i'll bite my tongue
it's for the lore
did i make it weird for my friends
should i refrain towards the end
i'll do it over again
she takes it as her ups and downs
i made a mistake wanting to 
fuck around with above my age
did i do it all to myself
is my abuse underwhelming
why did nobody tell me (not to do it again)
she faked wanting to be with me
the smile on her face her hands between my knees
why was i so proud to ruin
a simple touch of the hand
a hug from mother or friends
a partner's warmth in my bed

don't make me do it again !
don't make me do it again !

and i'll go against the winds
as the words fall out from odder lips
though the autumn nights we wrecked as kids
after years of love i found my strength

in time
i'll learn to stop
so why can't i stop myself
i swore i'd never do it again

you tried to hide behind my latency
but i woke up too late
to see you cry

it's never nice to meet
the girl i never wanted to be

so i was forced to say goodbye
i felt the daylight pass me by
i got too loud and caused a scene
and so i'll
cut back and maybe i can make it out

of those same old states
i've got too many things on my plate
i don't know why

when odds were heavier
you were my 
backbone, bring me back
i should've broke it off

i'm never gonna be you
i'm never gonna be
i'm never gonna be you

oh, i'm never gonna
waste my weekends
or give you the time of day

i'll never do it again !

strength training ! (catharsis !)

"well, you didn't have to be so spineless about it !"

(featuring @achorda, @mopearound & @46b)

written by self discovery, achorda, mopearound & wisp
produced by self discovery & achorda
mixed & mastered by self discovery

// lyrics

[self discovery]
take a drag off the asphalt
for something to say
attack all the back walls
to carve your own way
and back off the mask's all i needed to break
your lines were a waste of time
because it took too long
for me to call you on your bluff
when you snap your fingers
cause my neck was not enough
and it looked too far away to matter
but your disposition shattered
just in time to say you weren't in love

[mopearound]
backbone, be my backbone
sorry i didn't call, i was braced for the fall of us
backbone, be my backbone
braced for the fall of us
i know its not my bad, but i can't help it
i don't want you in my arms, cause i'm so helpless
what if we stopped today, my heart is wilted
i just want you in my heart, for just a little bit

[wisp]
countin the time i wait for you
to leave me alone
what do you mean "u r so rude?"
im just being realistic
feel sick, not slick, talkin to you, and i
hate the shit, that we've been thru, but i
just cant, forget, all of the things you said
all of the things you did, the things you've always meant

[self discovery]
afraid to be the last one left
to share my story
i'll bite my tongue
but i don't know if i can do this
i don't know if i can do this
i fear i'll be the last one left
in purgatory
it sounded fun
but i don't think that i can do this
i should be able to do this
on my own

[mopearound]
backbone, be my backbone
sorry i didn't call, i was braced for the fall of us
backbone, be my backbone
braced for the fall of us
i know its not my bad, but i can't help it
i don't want you in my arms, cause i'm so helpless
what if we stopped today, my heart is wilted
i just want you in my heart, for just a little bit

backbone ! (feat. achorda, mopearound & edyn)

"i have all the problems i need right here !"

(featuring @bhproducer & @singin-in-the-rain)

written and produced by self discovery, bh & stormkloud
mixed and mastered by self discovery

// lyrics

[bh]
i'm feeling like i'm spinning right back uh
i'm sorry if i'm losing my track but
i'm escaping all these places
i am mentally trapped in my head and it's killing me
everybody knows where i'm at uh
oversharing, that's my bad
i hope that i don't fall behind the race
i'm going at my pace i'm going at my pace

there's a place that's not too far from here
it's been chewing at my gums
it's been ironing my brain out
now i'm missing half my folds
there's a better place i wanna be
on the list that's on my phone
send a letter back to you when i get home

[self discovery]
put me out
in those same old states
it's been too long
i'll spend one more day
to cut my teeth on just what's familiar to me
carve my jaw on unassuming
trials and tribulations
could be mild if i were stationary
minding the gaps like stepping stones
cause why should i have to go the extra mile

[stormkloud]
how do i fix myself and
how do i call for help
i'm scared
all familiar but i feel it
i know this has to quit
so how do i pump the brakes
yeah we could just sit and wait
right here
so i wonder if there's time for me
to stop and realize
it's not really something i can change
and i'm sick of wasting all my range
when new places get old
and old faces i told
to watch out for greatness
oh, how bold !
i think i'm better off
sticking to what i know

[self discovery]
there's a place that's not too far from here
it's been chewing at my gums
it's been ironing my brain out
now i'm missing half my folds
there's a better place i wanna be
on the list that's on my phone
send a letter back to you when i get home
but i'm scared i'll be the last one left
to share my story
i'll bite my tongue
it's for the lore
should i be wary
of whom i've shared my side
prepared to be the last one left
in purgatory
i'll hold my tongue
it's for my story
it's fair to say that
guilt has been my guide !

put me out
in those same old states
it's been too long
i'll spend one more day
to cut my teeth on just what's familiar to me
carve my jaw on unassuming
trials and tribulations
could be mild if i were stationary
minding the gaps like stepping stones
cause why should i have to go the extra mile

spawnpoint ! (feat. bh & StormKloud)

callbacks aren't for another week, dude.

(featuring @monikrr)

written by self discovery & monikrr
produced by self discovery
mixed & mastered by self discovery

// lyrics

[self discovery]
can you give me a second again
i don't want to know everything you say you did
i don't need to know anything you think you meant
i just need you to leave me alone
can you give me a second, a minute
to gather my self confidence again
it's more than anything you ever meant
but it sounds like you weren't listening to what i said

cause i don't wanna hear about your
wasted weekends, the time you spent
the bottles, or the bends
i said "i'm over it now"
you start to choke on your smile
i know i've evened it out
now i'm sitting here wasting my spring break
you're steady looking for the things you can say you'd change
to make me look back fondly
and say "i want it"
and make me fall apart
i'm sorry, but i can't play the part
you want me to

[monikrr]
i’m done walking on eggshells
it’s just another reason you bring me hell
you said i put it all into someone else
but honestly i’d fucking kill myself
if i did this over again
i don’t care what you want
but you get to my head
spent the last few weeks tryna cut the thread
but you didn’t even listen to me when i said,

[self discovery]
that i don't wanna hear about your
wasted weekends, the time you spent
the bottles, or the bends
i said "i'm over it now"
you start to choke on your smile
i know i've evened it out
now i'm sitting here wasting my spring break
you're steady looking for the things you can say you'd change
to make me look back fondly
and say "i want it"
and make me fall apart
i'm sorry, but i can't play the part
you want me to, oh

rips in the bottom of
bridges you built
on the second worst night
i decided to live
with a shard in my hand
and a shoulder to cry for
i'm slamming my head
into patterns that we forged
to crack at my skull
as to crack at your ego
to catch both your eyes
pay attention with ears closed

cause i'm done playin' the part you want
you want me to

understudy ! (feat. monikrr)

it's gone on like this for far too long !

(featuring @cyebug)

written, produced, mixed & mastered by self discovery
additional guitar by austen nur

// lyrics

(run it back)
(run it back)
(run it back)
(run it back)
(running back)
(running back)
(back, back to you)
(run it back)
(run it back)
(run it back)
(run it back)
(running back)
(running back)
(back, back to you)

[self discovery]
you've been awfully
receptive of when i had the gall
when oddly
it's not enough for heads in the hall
before me
you never said forever
and tethered to the feelings of fall
i've been coughing up chunks
of every word that i wrote
so it feels like nothing
when i hold out the note
call me when you
get the space you needed
to figure out your life on your own

you've been giving me space
cause i need more than a break
and i've been trying to learn my lines
you're nothing more than a fake
so i'll swing back with the same
i hope you know that you've earned it

in time
i'll learn to stop
why can't i stop myself from fiending
when i've tried
to burn it out
but you set fire to my feet
to keep me
running back to you

[cyebug]
calmly
i'm sensing that i'm ready to go
so i'll be
on the underside when i rock the boat
softly
i'm sentencing your wellness
to suffer as i'm watching you fall
now i'm choking on the words i said
as your notes are spread across my desk
i'll erase the heart in every letter
that is if it's all the same to you
(oh)

i've been giving you space
but you reach out every day
how is this helping us take our time
oh, what a mess we've made
with all the drama we've staged
oh, how the hell could i be so blind

[self discovery & cyebug]
you've been giving me space
cause i need more than a break
and i've been trying to learn my lines
you're nothing more than a fake
so i'll swing back with the same
i hope you know that you've earned it

in time
i'll learn to stop
why can't i stop myself from fiending
when i've tried
(i've tried, i've tried, i've tried)
to burn it out
but you set fire to my feet
to keep me
running back to you

[self discovery]
if it was purpose that you wished for
(you swore you could fix me)
you gave me a list
full of personal problems
i sold just to know
that i missed one
(i swore i could fix you)
if being earnest's what you kissed for
(you swore you could fix me)
you made it a way
so i when i spoke about it
i'd choke on the spit
of the next one
(i swore i could fix you)

cause i swore i could fix you
(i swore i could fix you)
i swore i could fix you
(i swore i could fix you)
and you swore you could fix me
(you swore you could fix me)
you swore you could fix me

in time
i'll learn to stop
why can't i stop myself from fiending
when i've tried
tried

[self discovery & cyebug]
in time
i'll learn to stop
why can't i stop myself from fiending
when i've tried
(i've tried, i've tried, i've tried)
to burn it out
but you set fire to my feet
to keep me
running back to you

backpedal ! (feat. Cyebug)

*on a good day.

written, produced, mixed & mastered by self discovery

// lyrics

am i late
to catch the high tide
i'm afraid that i just missed it
the sea's so inclined to seize peace of mind for the day
it's a crying shame you've never been
yeah, i'm okay
still had a full course on my plate
action was needed
i'll stare at the clock
while my mind keeps a log of the day
and dreams a place i've never lived

you try to hide behind my latency
while i woke up too late to see
that i'd be doing better by the fall
i'll cry a river, you're across the sea
you swear you've heard enough of me
for once i couldn't care that it's my fault
anymore

well give me a break !
it's not the first mistake i've made with you
i'll gesture towards the trauma
but don't expect me to write my stories of you
what can i say ?
it's far from the first time i've "berated you"
when you stirred up the drama
the sorry you sent
to my messages
it never came through

you try to hide behind my latency
while i woke up too late to see
that i'd be doing better by the fall
i'll cry a river, you're across the sea
you swear you've heard enough of me
for once i couldn't care that it's my fault
you try to hide behind my latency
while i woke up too late to see
that i'd be doing better by the fall
i'll cry a river, you're across the sea
you swear you've heard enough of me
for once i couldn't care that it's my fault

you're sending messages across the room
i'm sending messages across the sea
i swear its nothing in particular
but the atlantic's just too large for me
i'm sending letters off to someone new
you're leaving messages to get to me
don't think it's anything specifically
but the pacific's far too wide for me

you try to hide behind my latency
while i woke up too late to see
that i'd be doing better by the fall
i'll cry a river, you're across the sea
you swear you've heard enough of me
for once i couldn't care that it's my fault
i took the train of my hypotheses
thought maybe you won't bother me
you did, i wasn't scared to tell you off
you took a hike to get alone with me
now you'll never get along with me
and i don't give a shit that it's my fault
anymore

anymore

6.7mb/s* !

what i would give to have it the way you do !

written, produced, mixed & mastered by self discovery

// lyrics

do you have the time
it's not like i wanna lie awake
and list the reasons i should
cry out with skin tight around my face
i'm a fuck up
but i already said that didn't
i talk about myself too much before i
pried off the mask from which you hid behind
i should've bit my tongue

oh it makes me wanna crack my teeth
the way she floats around
and how she talks so sweet
while i'm molding
i guess its nice to finally meet
the person i wish i could be
oh i find that i can barely speak
the words are never right
suppose i'll hold it in 'till i'm older
i guess its nice to finally meet
the guise that i wish for within

did you really mind
it's not like me to decide my fate
i get it second-hand from
white-out cause i always find a way
i'm a fuck up
but i already said that didn't
i talk about myself too much before i
pried off the mask from which you hid behind
i should've bit my tongue
(my tongue)

afraid to be the last one left
to share my story
i'll bite my tongue
its for the lore
did i make it weird for my friends
should i refrain towards the end
i'll do it over again

oh it makes me wanna crack

meet&greet !

"i KNOW this is all you've ever worked for, but what about ME ???"

performed by self discovery
produced by self discovery
drums by @digitalreject
photography & visuals by flatbeek
-- -- -- -- - -- -- -- --
lyrics:

seven years of sweat and tears
came to a head yesterday
you got a call last night
said you should fly out in may
whether you make it or you break it
that's the game you should play
call and say that you're on your way to find me

because you know you have a shot
you'll do whatever it takes
you're hearing comfort from the sky
it says you're gonna be great
now there's no reason to be shy
you know you just can't wait
to make the most of when you turn 19

i'll stay down south
i'm taking one for the team
and we'll figure it out
before the end of the season
you'll take a bow
i guess it's more than it seemed
i still don't know what you mean

but you've been giving me star signs
that light me up just like the night sky
and though i'm glad we shared good times
it won't be long 'till you're starting out the door
cause the world's been waiting for your
star signs

seven years of sweat and tears
have found their way to the spine
of loving innocence
the terror of what i've called mine
this can't be good for you
to panic and deceive
oh, but i don't think you cared
about crossing the line

so i'll call it as i see it
you push yourself to be overwhelmed
crack at your defences
and forget what the scene is, oh well
pull at the strings until you recognize
the fiend you've become
oh what fun
defy the odds of what you seldom call home

aren't you so proud ?
the question sounds so depraved
but i'll turn my mouth
away from words i could say
am i allowed
to ask for another way
than how you said it to me ?

i'll stay down south
i'm taking one for the team
and we'll figure it out
before the end of the season
you'll take a bow
i guess it's more than it seemed

but you've been giving me star signs
that light me up just like the night sky
and though i'm glad we shared good times
it won't be long 'till you're starting out the door
cause the world's been waiting for your
star signs

and i'll fade away
like a puddle in the sun
evaporate
while you're starting your new life
without second thoughts
of the life you leave
just the life you'll lead
and it's made in a way
i get nothing at all

you leave me nothing at all !

but you've been giving me star signs
that light me up just like a wildfire
and though i'm glad we shared good times
it won't be long 'till you're starting out the door
cause the world's been waiting for your
star signs !

gee-whiz !

nothing stays the same beautiful forever !

written, produced, mixed & mastered by self discovery
thanks to @aphonicsound for doing this voice-over

// lyrics

(hello?)

hey it's j----
just um, checking in to see how you're doin
um, last time i saw you was at your birthday party
so i just hope you're doing okay
um, to be completely honest that whole night was just kinda unsettling
it's not like you to just get up and leave your own birthday party

i remember something you mentioned about a botched relationship
that happened in 8th grade that you were still hung up on?
um, not to be insensitive but i feel like six years is a long time
to be hung up on something like that
normally i wouldn't push someone about this kind of stuff
but you've got me kinda concerned
like, this is the type of thing that either someone's just
really emotionally immature or something really bad happened
and i know it's really not my place to ask but
what's on your mind ?

(what's on your mind ?)

umm...

nothing ! (intro !)

it almost took me with it !

written, produced, mixed & mastered by self discovery

// lyrics

i've been writing down my answer
to an unasked question
that fills the cracks along my temples
with an unearned mission
it's been six years
you'd think by now i would've
learned my lesson
let not your work be so defined
and hide behind your wish
to tell

because it's all fun and games
until somebody loses an eye
and the disdain that it rang with
i'm sure it would make me blind
so if it dragged me to hell
i'd think it were my greatest height
i felt the moss overgrow
but i won't go down without a fight

i've been begging for forgiveness
as the mess i've made roars
is scraping undersides of idle minds
all that i'm made for
i've got to give cause something has to
oh it's now or never
i'll kill my darlings and ressurect myself
in a new way
cause nothing stays the same
beautiful forever

because it's all fun and games
until somebody loses an eye
and the disdain that it come with
i'm sure it could make me blind
so if it dragged me to hell
i'd think it were my greatest height
i felt the moss overgrow me
but i won't go down without a fight

i won't go down without a fight

(this is all that you've worked for)
(i just hope it's what you wanted)

moss !

the HUGEST thank you to the lovely ppl at underscord for letting me play camp boneyard 3 ! this was the most fun set I've ever gotten to put together <3

TRACKLIST:
- - - - - - -
Self Discovery - gee-whiz !
Self Discovery - 6.7mb/s* !
cnri - to my grave (Self Discovery Ver.)
Self Discovery - moss !
Self Discovery - understudy !

Planting The Seeds / Patches Of Moss (The Season Five Prologue)

big thanks to @cyebug to doing the phone lines here ly boo <3

stream

°.• UNDER CONSTRUCTION! •.°

• est. 2020 •

°.• management@pinkandpastel.com •.°

Self Discovery

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