everything by me

ohhhhhh ,
and i
i wanna make you cry
voices in my head
they tell me to take your life
and you can beg
but you'll have to say goodbye
now you wanna cry?
but instead i hope you die

and iiiiiii
you've told me all these things
a million times
and iiiiiiiiiii
and iii
iii
and iiiiiiii
and iiiii

and ive got no reason to go cry
ill beg her and ill ask her why
deep down it all comes down to nothing at all
and im so ugly
i know she doesn't like me at all

but won't you beg?
and have a heart attack
but why aren't you sad?
did i mean nothing at all?

x2

we both suck

bitch why you joining up my Roblox server
I cant believe your still obsessed you pervert
get you arrested for attempted murder
cuz you deserve it you deserve it
are you slow because your fucking clueless
i don't understand why you still do this
I've got your addy so don't try to do shit
but you deserve it you deserve it   

get exposed i know you hate the hating
your not tuff cuz bitch your godforsaken
thanks for the gifts i bet its hard to pay it
i cant believe we ever fucking dated

bitch why you joining up my Roblox server
I cant believe your still obsessed you pervert
get you arrested for attempted murder
cuz you deserve it you deserve it
are you slow because your fucking clueless
i don't understand why you still do this
I've got your addy so don't try to do shit
but you deserve it you deserve it

get out my fucking game

prod @harui
rec preset, improvised melody etc, just a demo
i may make a new account or something, dunno, some days i feel like i can live and some are like i'm already dead but i could finally bring myself to write and sing again
---

whats the point of having a voice
when you feel you don’t have a choice
when you want to find new words to say

i just wanna be free
(slight pitch error my bad..) let go of every single thing
but when i look inside
the future seems so dim

i’ve dreamed to change the world
on every single birthday
blowing out my candles
knowing i can’t intervene

when i closed my eyes
i wished and dreamed
a world, one sweet as cream

i’ll never save myself, i know this much is true

the heights i reached, when i look down, the depths i could fall to
there’s nowhere safe
but if i may,
there’s something lovely 
‘bout the way
i ask myself, what did i do, i tried to be good, but it all fell through
i wished to make up for mistakes i made by being born
each breath i held, so afraid to waste another word
in this world, do i belong? don’t think i’ll ever feel so
the “selfless” act, its selfish that, i can’t feel real if no one knows
i want to be an angel high, to save or just to run away?

i seek forgiveness, hoping it shows
i never wished to be like this
if you all love me still, as flawed as i am, then i know for sure
i’m not the only one who can be
i still feel like i’m nobody even if you disagree
but i know that that just means we’re all deserving to be seen
deserving to be—

i know these moments disappear but while they’re here please stay!
i wonder, somewhere in the world, does someone hear my voice?
their heart, their mind, a low hummed tune, it drowning out the noise..?
if you still hear me, i hear you, humans all that we can be
even aching in my chest
i’m glad you’re here 
may we be free

may we be free

untitled (demo) (prod. @harui)

@selfloved
you're the one, I'm so obsessed with,
i can't tell you what I want, all these discord messages
i'm trying to save my love, and I want you to give a fuck,
i'm not such a specialist, baby, I can't tell you now that I want you.
baby, you're the one, it is so true,
i don't care about anything else when I'm with you.

swag in my walk, obsessions are in my head,
thinkin' 'bout your touch, got me feeling so possessed,
everything I ever wanted, girl, you more, never less,
baby, you know I'm so fucking obsessed,
you know that I'm so obsessed,
i message you on every chat,
it's okay, 'cause you're my obsession,
don't wanna ask where you've been…

you're the one, I'm so obsessed with,
i can't tell you what I want, all these discord messages
i'm trying to save my love, and I want you to give a fuck,
i'm not such a specialist, baby, I can't tell you now that I want you.
baby, you're the one, it is so true,
i don't care about anything else when I'm with you.

obsessed and weird

mixed and redone by @elujjin (elujjin lmk if you want me to take it down or not i can't remember if you were happy with it or not i'm just uploading stuff.. sorry!)
~
[Chorus]
I'll never be a kid again
You can’t keep saying, “Next year”
All I ever did was try to love, keep living through my tears
I can’t become an adult, I know I'm emotionally stunted
I feel apathetic, sometimes think I'm on a watchlist

[Verse 1]
I keep looking at the people ‘round me, wonder what they think
Picturing my head smashed into brick, your faces make me sick
You’re all liars, fucking fake
You’re living lost, not knowing
Blind, and never seeing
I’m invisible, don’t know me
It’s hard to even go outside, resentment building every day
"Unconditional" has conditions, no matter what they say
There’s no good that you could do to ever
Change somebody's mind
You are fucking worthless, give it up
Chasing, why won’t you die?

[Verse 2]
So desperate for attention that you believe every lie
Blowing up in anger ‘cuz you’re naive, knew they’d say goodbye
It’s the only thing that makes you feel like you’re even alive
So pathetic, fucking weak
I hate you, someone, tell me why
I live life waiting for the moment
Everything will turn black
How much more time do I have to wait
Until I finally can go back?
You know I’m not human, really
When I peel off all my skin
You could never love me fully, loving everything within
It’s been this way every day, long as I can remember
Am I just hallucinating, why can't you all see it?
You can't love me as I am, so you all try to reason
You can’t even hide your hatred for all of my being

[Hook]
Do you hear this all the same?
I keep listening to my own music
Every song in the same day
I got my life on replay
I got my life on replay
On replay, on replay
On replay, on replay
On replay, on re—

[Chorus]
I'll never be a kid again
You can’t keep saying, “Next year”
All I ever did was try to love, keep living through my tears
I can’t become an adult, I know I'm emotionally stunted
I feel apathetic, sometimes think I'm on a watch list
I'll never be a kid again
You can’t keep saying, “Next year”
All I ever did was try to love, keep living through my tears
I can’t become an adult, I know I'm emotionally stunted
I feel apathetic, sometimes think I'm on a watchlist

[Hook]
Do you hear this all the same?
I keep listening to my own music
Every song in the same day
I got my life on replay
I got my life on replay
I got my life on replay
On replay, on replay
On replay, on replay
On replay, on re—

stepping stone - remix (prod pupsies & elujjin)

@selfloved

yah, ya-yah
ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya ..

baby, can i have your heart?
your name is vanessa .. (not meant any person it rimes js good)

is it all you got ?
i want your love ..

can i, have your heart, for me ..
can i have it all to me!

(all to me !!)

i might be a creep!?
but i want your,
love for me ..

all you gotta SEE is me!
i gave you love that you never seen ..

i want your all for me ..
and your all i need!

baby i just want your love ..
is it all you really got?

...

baby,
your all i need

i just want you to see
that i gave you all you need

(last line troll so i dont write it down lol)

don't take distance, okay?

prod yovan44 <3

i b stackin checkz ion need no savings
off da gas 2 much feel like im weightless
walk inna room whole crowd glazin
she said 1c u amazinnn

u keep breakin down i js stay amend
swr this cycle nvr gna fuckin endd
u call it love but it feels pretend
and i still fold when u hit sendd

i gave uu all i had inside
bring myself jus to keep u alive
now im learnin how 2 cut those ties
ur ghost still lives in my mind

i be lost in the things we made
u moved on like its all okayy
and im still stuck on yesterday (yesterday)
day

spend 2 much now im feelin vacant
seen 2 much cant erase it
pray 2 god but i still feel vacant

lookin in da mirror and ion recognise faces
2 much loss i js stay sedated
whole lotta dreams that i never state it
bro said chill but i cannt be patient :/

i b stackin checkz ion need no savings
off da gas 2 much feel like im weightless
walk inna room whole crowd glazin
she said 1c u amazinnn

u keep breakin down i js stay amend
swr this cycle nvr gna fuckin endd
u call it love but it feels pretend
and i still fold when u hit sendd

i cant feel no more aaaa

weightless (yovan)

lastnite W/Rotwm (tumblingdoll)

Pretty gurl W/Rotwm (xo.hella)

im so phresh

panic!

my throat hurts from making high music
lmk if u wanna join on opens