living with ADHD and ASD (autism) in a meme world as an NPC IRL

Lyrics

“Loading: Emotional stability.ex… failed.”
“Welcome to NPC mode.
You are now socially unpatchable.”
Initiating cringe protocol.

I got ADHD and autism too,
That’s double the swag and none of the clue.
Brain’s all static, I can’t adapt,
Just side quests and panic attacks,no cap.
My brain said “vibe” and dipped,
Now I’m NPCin’ through every script.
Brain’s a browser with 90 tabs open,
But trauma’s got me thinkin’ ’bout ropin’.

Tried to flirt? She called me brave,
Now I “avoid” and never shave.
She said “hi,” I full-on froze,
Alt+F4 on all my woes.

I’m an NPC IRL,
Lootin’ snacks and social hell.
No riz, no drip, no serotonin,
Just Monster piss and porn moaning.
No girlfriend, just brain rot lore,
Left me on unread, I’m hardcore sore.
If life’s a sim, I missed the plot,
But I got memes… and that’s a lot.

I simp for e-girls who call me ‘fam,’
Then cry to a Skibidi edit on cam.
I got that gyatt, but it’s in my knees,
Cracked at Cod, but scared of bees.
My vibes? Ohio. My thoughts? Gone.
Last braincell Subway Surfers at dawn.
Ghosted my crush… in real life, bro,
Then wrote her a haiku in Minecraft snow.

My aura? Fire. My hygiene? Dire.
She said “rizz me,” I said “what?” and expired.
Girl said I’m “funny but a little fried,”
I said “that’s my brand, unhinged inside.”

I’m an NPC IRL,
Spawned in Hard Mode, vibe is hell.
No girlfriend, just Discord mods,
I talk in GIFs and pray to gods.
Neuro-divergent and useless,
My brain’s a group chat,
can’t mute this.
No girl? No worries, I’ve got lore,
And a Minecraft base with a lava floor.

My hygiene’s a side quest, can’t brush my teeth,
Made my bed once, don’t look underneath.
I stim to the beat of anxiety’s hums,
And flinch like a pussy when a delivery comes.
I’m built like a rizzless NPC,
Typing “yo?” at 3:03.
Got kicked outta group therapy twice,
Once for mansplainin’ Evangelion - nice

I’m an NPC IRL,
Too plot-divergent for heaven or hell.
No girl, no plan, but maxed out lore,
Self diagnosed at aged four.
Tried to hug - threatened to get me jumped,
Tried to flirt - accidentally trauma dumped.
My hobbies include catastrophic doom,
And pretending I’m filmed when I walk into rooms.

“Can’t date me? Understandable…
I’m emotionally expendable.”
- Disconnected from server.

NPC IRL (ADHD ASD)

Full album: https://on.soundcloud.com/G75wVH4ivAjOn2dNNj

Lyrics:

"They’ll call you crazy," 
they always do,
say you’re chasing 
things no one pursues.
They’ll roll their eyes, 
they’ll shake their heads,
“Who are you to dream that big?” they said.

They don’t understand,
you were made for this.
They won’t see it coming,
you carry the gift.
You hold the strength,
you bring the shift.

“You know nothing,” 
they will shout,
“Where’s your title? 
What’s your route?”
They’ll laugh and point 
from their safe ground,
while you’re building storms 
without a sound.

They don’t understand,
you were made for this.
They won’t see it coming,
you carry the gift.
You hold the strength,
you bring the shift.

You walk alone, 
but not in fear,
your fire speaks 
when none will hear.
Born with light 
they tried to dim,
but stars don’t ask 
the world to grin.

Let them doubt, let them resist,
true change was never born to fit.
The wheel of life won’t place you high or low
it takes you where you’re meant to go.
But only a few know how to draw
the map that leads through fire and flaw.

They don’t understand,
you were made for this.
They won’t see it coming,
you carry the gift.
You hold the strength,
you bring the shift.

So stand your ground 
and face the fire,
you were never meant 
to just admire.
The world will change 
because you stayed—
not when they clapped,
but when they swayed.

The wheel of life

Intro is from 1946 film ‘Its a wonderful life’

V1:
I saw a shadow in the rain
It spoke to me
It wore your voice and knew my name
Never to leave

PC:
Try to see things from my side
How much I put on the line
I don’t think that you noticed
Doesn’t matter either way
What I do nor what I say
It never did 

C1:
Said it’s pulling me in 
I will let down
Everything you love
Until I’m not around
Don’t step in my direction
Coz all I’ve ever found
Is how to make you bleed from shutting you out

Bridge:
Give me something to burn

V2:
I run but when it rains it pours
Are you surprised 
She hides the clock beneath the floor (8)
I lose the time

PC:
Try to see things from my side
How much I put on the line
Have you ever noticed 
Seems not to matter either way
What I do nor what I say
It never did 

C2:
Said it’s pulling me in 
I will let down
Everything you love
Until I’m not around
Don’t step in my direction
All I’ve ever found
Is how to make you bleed from shutting you out

Said it’s pulling me in 
I will let down
Everything you love
Until I’m not around
Don’t step in my direction
All I’ve ever found
Is how to make you bleed from shutting you out

Give me something to burn

Burn

Text:
[Verse]
He died in a rocket crash on Mars
They gave me his military records
And I saw my name
He had a secret family with me

[Verse]
They brought his body back to Earth
I opened the casket and
I saw his face
He had a secret family with me

(Instrumental-Part)

[Chorus]
I want to love you for a long time
I want to see your face
You are the most important thing to me
And I love you

[Bridge]
He was already married
He had a son and a daughter
He was in the Air Force
I thought he was in the Army
He had a secret family with me

(Solo)

[Verse]
His body was on display in an open casket
His parents asked me not to come
But I couldn't miss it
He had a secret family with me

[Verse]
I saw his wife at the funeral
She looked just like me
They all thought it was a coincidence
He had a secret family with me

My Secret Family

THE END OF CHASE

It's On Me

Mk.37

Do You Remember

Little Bird

She,
 eats the flies,
 as she speaks,
ohhhh,
Their wings,
 still trembling,
 on her cheeks.

They crawl from lips where poison sleeps—

Ohhhhh,
She smiles, 
and promises she keeps.

The Lies Between Her Teeth,
ohhhh,
The Lies Between Her Teeth,
ohhhh,
The Lies Between Her Teeth,


But hear them snap—
those little bones—

Each lie she speaks becomes a groan.
Ohhhhhh,
Hmmmmmmm,


The Lies Between Her Teeth,
ohhhh,
The Lies Between Her Teeth,
ohhhh,
The Lies Between Her Teeth,

The flies,
 are crushed in rotting teeth,
A grinding truth,

 that crawls beneath.
Ohhhhhh,

Her eyes are glass,
 her hands are still,
Yet in her mouth,
 a glutton’s thrill—

The Lies Between Her Teeth,
ohhhh,
The Lies Between Her Teeth,
ohhhh,
The Lies Between Her Teeth,

She,
 eats the flies,
 as she speaks,
ohhhh,
Their wings,
 still trembling,
 on her cheeks.

She feasts on grief,
 on sins half-spoke,

While in her throat the dead things choke.
Ohhhhhh,

The Lies Between Her Teeth,
ohhhh,
The Lies Between Her Teeth,
ohhhh,
The Lies Between Her Teeth,

She,
 eats the flies,
 as she speaks,
ohhhh,
Their wings,
 still trembling,
 on her cheeks.


She eats the flies—
she eats regret.
Hmmmmmm,

And with each bite,
 she can’t forget.
So let her talk,
 and let them die—

The truth decays. The flies still lie.

The Lies Between Her Teeth,
Ohhhhh,
The Lies Between Her Teeth,
Ohhhhhh,
The Lies Between Her Teeth.

pb2025

She,  eats the flies

Szept wiatru

Sweet venom. Sad poetry. Savage satire.
I write in the places where shame flirts with seduction,
where heartbreak lingers like perfume, and grief begs for one more hit.
Some tracks are lullabies for lost boys. Others are traps disguised as tenderness.
You’ll find humour, humiliation, and hurt, often tangled together.
There are stories here. Of pain. Of power. Of things people don’t want to admit they feel.
If you’re unsure whether to laugh, cry, or look away, 
good. That means it’s honest.

(And yes, some songs still bite.)

Always open for song topic requests.

NPC IRL (ADHD ASD)

Selkie Girl

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