What Is Beauty Anyway?

I’ve been intoxicated by this idea of beauty lately…
Is it found in the porcelain skin of an Instagram pic? 
Or is it in bulging muscle that leads to crevices?
Could it be in the kiss of fully botoxed lips? 
Or is it the contour of a perfect cheek? 
Can it be in the curve of a spine laying on a tufted chaise?
Or is it found in the gracefulness of a hand caress? 
The questions never end, & I continue - 
A muddle of mint in a glass with no Bacardi. 

I’ve been obsessed with the idea of beauty…
Can a green iris be the epitome of beauty? 
Or is it more behind the knowing twinkle of an eye? 
Is it cascading of golden brown hair in a youtube video?
Or a French cut that accents the nape of a neck?
Is it found in Cumbia hips moving across the room?
Or is it found in the delicateness of a heaving breast?
I am doubtful of such simplicity. And the questions continue,
Returning like a guilty sinner to Mass.

It’s been decades of pondering beauty… 
One dare not say it’s gray hair, slow gait, or cottage cheese thighs.
But can it be youth, or shiny hair, or innocence? 
Could it be incessant giggles of joy that tease the ear?
Can it be in the mother goddess bulging and full? 
Once I think I am done, I must start again,
Every moment finds the climax of new beauty,
Because schooled into feeling less than, never good enough,
A small thing, you know, half-formed, hardened in me that knows best.

No one could teach me the beauty of self-love.
I had to fall back in love with myself 
one limb and belly button at a time.
And what if I am divine vessel?
How extraordinary to find my body is a tool of beauty, 
My body isn’t for me to approve of, 
It’s all I have to express love!
And surely my reflexive beauty 
Will pierce the eye of the beholder. 

April 15, 2021

What Is Beauty Anyway?

Mindfulness Meditation with music track Adieu, by Slovaki audio. I create these guided meditations from my past psychology practice of working with individuals. Please contact me with any questions, as I have many years of experience as a Mental Health professional in California.

Mindfulness Meditation And Music

Narration Demo, filled with samples of narration of TV, Film, children's TV shows, and book narration. All voice samples found on www.tarabud.com/voiceover

Narration Demo

Brand new single released 7/14/2021. Find it everywhere for streaming and download: 
Bandcamp: leisuretwins.bandcamp.com/track/dont-wanna-wait
iTunes: music.apple.com/us/artist/1573499457
Spotify: hhttps://open.spotify.com/artist/4ENmaWR3240zYEvf7Tym1I
Twitter: @LeisureTwins
Instagram: @LeisureTwins

Let Love Try Again

Leisure Twins releases 2nd single "Don't Wanna Wait." Available on all platforms for streaming and download on 8.6.2021! 
Bandcamp: https://leisuretwins.bandcamp.com/track/dont-wanna-wait
iTunes: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/1573499457
Spotify: hhttps://open.spotify.com/artist/4ENmaWR3240zYEvf7Tym1I
Twitter: @LeisureTwins
Instagram: @LeisureTwins

Don't Wanna Wait Single

8/6/2021

Don't Wanna Wait

The Discard Pile poem is my original work written on 9/22/2021.

You wouldn't believe it 
Even if I showed you. 
Walk down the path, left at the BBQ
Then right at the laundry door.
There behind the building, 
you'll find In an open nook 
The leftovers, the damaged goods
All the stuff you want to throw out 
But never get around to it 
Because of a million excuses- 
There's no time, too heavy, too old. 
You know what I mean...

There is the old sink that had a crack 
An old couch with the mattress springs 
Popping out, even the old vacuum 
You lost the handle to.
A broken lawn chair, some for sale signs
You never used, and some decorative lights, 
Which you can't remember what's wrong with them. 
Like your weaknesses, they all 
Add up to missed opportunities.
The thing you didn't say at the funeral.
The phone call you didn't cause 
You dreaded their response,
Or the person you didn't talk to 
Because you thought you weren't 
Good enough, 
Smart enough
Handsome enough.
You know what I mean...

Now hold on a minute. 
In the back, you spot a shiny 
Ceramic pot with a copper glaze. 
Somehow there is still a living 
Plant growing out of it with 
Tiny green budding leaves, 
And you wonder...
How did this life form survive 
All alone out in the discard pile?
And you start to think,
There is hope for us yet!

The Discard Pile

Koi vs Humans is an original poem written on Oct 8th.

The blossoms hung low over the koi pond  
The koi oblivious to its beauty. 
The lily pads of dark green, brown, and yellow 
Stretched as far as the eye could see. 
That was their sanctuary under the comfort 
Of darkness, the orange, white, and black speckled koi 
Hid.
There were no predators, there was no alarm, 
Just loud humans drinking endless summer hard seltzer
 Boot shoe sun drop hazy beers, 
Like there wasn’t a care in the world. 
Karl Strauss made sure no one suffered, 
Not even the koi.
Across the small, arched wood bridge,  
Near the pagoda was a waterfall 
Cascading over gray mossy, vertical rocks - 
So pleasant, so unencumbered. 
Unlike the humans debating the Giants vs Dodgers 
After they won the National League West title, and 
Now favored to move to the fourth World Series  win in 12 years;
The koi still oblivious yet hungry, always hungry, 
Pushing and nudging for the stray water strider 
Straddling the delicate surface tension. 
The water strider never sinking, 
Able to flee the gulping nervous, fat koi.  
Just like the water strider, the humans 
Survive another day, dodging the recurring trends of demise - 
the looming, nasty 5th extinction -  
To drink ale another day and toast. 

Fall 2021

Koi vs Human

Make It Better

The newest pop single  "Promises." Original composition by Leisure Twins. Vocals: Dennis Bestafka, Backup vocals Tarabud.

Promises

New summer single! 
Lyrics Sometimes it blows right through ya
At times the undertow takes way
And you slip away
High time you move beyond it
Bright lights are just beyond the break
A sunrise away

Dream, dream, baby, dream
Pull the world apart from the seams
When we know it’s not what it seems
And the fool would claim to know
Right or wrong, head to toe, when to go it alone
When you know, you just know

Oh, what a bombshell on ya
That fear is always in the way
And bitter the taste
You’re bruised, according to ya
Don’t prove you’re cool in another way
Whatever they say

Moving in the right direction
Hang on to the right intention
Soon, one day, you’ll know

07/07/2023

Dream Baby Dream

The newest single 'Life Goals' was written and recorded in the duo's new home studio in Austin, Texas. This song was born out of frustration of the hellish pandemic, yet inspired to write an upbeat pop tune!
Digital album art was created by Laura Ho, their friend in the Bay Area, of Northern California. See her website for more art: www.laura-ho.com 

Verse I

Savannah, church and schoolgirl crush
Barn dance every Friday night
GunnerJames crossed the dance floor
He don't know all her Life Goals to rule the world

Chorus

And I will be heard And will be seen
The world won't waylay me,
And you won't be mean
I will climb Everest, and Surf in the Gold Coast.
The world won't waylay me
And I will rule the world.

Verse II

GunnerJames lived in CircleVille
High School always team captain
Brazen trail led to nowhere
Father hated his Life Goals to rule the world

Chorus
And I will be heard And will be seen
The world won't waylay me,
And you won't be mean
I will climb Everest, and Surf in the Gold Coast.
The world won't waylay me
And I will rule the world.

Refrain
And I will ski Jackson
Dive in the Red Sea...

Life Goals Single

Life Goals

Sentinel is an Indie-dream-pop duo originating from San Francisco, California, now based in San Diego. The seeds of this sunny-seaside-dream-pop began between Tarabud (vocals/bass) and Dennis Bestafka (guitars) on a four track recorder in 2000. Their live performances have been numerable over the years, with the support of friends on drums and keyboards for their live performances. They have been heard on FM Radio: (Live105.3FM), (Nic Harcourt's syndicated program 'Connections Made by Guitar Center' broadcast nationally on FM stations in the USA) & (College radio in 160 stations across US and Canada), Local TV, and Live Music venues of the Northern California. 

Sentinel's sound is strongly influenced of their mutual visions of 80's synth and 90's dream pop. Bands  like Cocteau Twins, Smiths, U2, My Bloody Valentine, Cure, Flock Of Seagulls. Dead Can Dance, and Ocean Blue have provided consistent inspiration, creating a long catalog of moods & textures to draw from while developing their sound. 

Over the years their catalog has been expansive with variety. The following five albums and several singles were self-released: Sentinel (self titled) - 2004; The Singles - 2005; Sequels & Hunches E.P. - 2007; Kites Without Strings - 2008; For Days Deep & single video- 2010; Jet Black Single & video - 2010; Dark End Single- 2011; Somewhere Else Single ~ video & dance remix - 2012, and new album - Points of Light - 2015, & New E.P. coming in 2018, Life Goals Single, 2020.

Life Goals

Sentineldream

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