this song always helps me when I'm sad about the loss of my father

what is that sound clip in the middle of a girl talking

So much emotion. This is a work of art, you do not have a bad song at all. Please never stop making music 🖤🦋

I've got a lot of fear for the day that we'll be dead (prod. tothegood)

beatstars.com/tothegood - beats

tothegood - "out of mind"
released on 27.05.2017
@lilxlotus @youngburial
free download: bit.ly/2qt1NyR
bandcamp: bit.ly/2qZktJW
spoti.fi/2Bpo07A
apple.co/2Ab3U3e

lyrics:

LIL LOTUS 

I was 17 i lost you in silence
Tried to hide all my pain with violence
Traded all of my scars for tattoos 
Now everything i do just reminds me of you

I dont want you to see this
Maybe i miss you too much
I scream in my sleep
Do you hear me 
Or am i not screaming enough
Id give anything just to hear your heart beat and bring you back to life  
You have a grandson
He look just like you
I tell him all the time

I was 17 i lost you in silence
Tried to hide all my pain with violence
Traded all of my scars for tattoos 
Now everything i do just reminds me of you

fats'e

I know your just testing me 
I miss the way you would sit right next to me
And make up stories 
To pass the time 

I guess this is how it's supposed to be
Blood shot eyes keep me company
I want out
Of my head sometimes. 

This is how it's supposed to be.

out of mind

spotify

in silence (feat. LIL LOTUS & fats'e)

i'd prefer an unmarked grave

rest in peace mom
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
so what’s next? to let myself go? 
life closed the stretch of that road
i could have been there in the end, but selfishness left me alone
i’ve dropped a lot of my hopes
no home, and nowhere to go
tried not to stress, but now you're dead and buried
how could i have known the end of your life would that sudden? 
i felt so attacked
i’m caving in
might fade away just to escape what i know 
but that’s how we die, and it’s sad
forget all the plans that we had 
i’m caving in
might fade away just to escape what i know 
what's next? to let myself go? 
life closed the stretch of that road
i could have been there in the end, but selfishness left me alone 
i’ve dropped a lot of my hopes
no home, and nowhere to go
tried not to stress, but now you're dead and buried
how could i have known?

("i know when i said goodbye to him, that it wasn't goodbye forever
when i see him again he won't be in pain, and he won't be weak")

but that’s how we die, and it’s sad
forget all the plans that we had 
i’m caving in 
might fade away just to escape what i know

prod/mix/master by me

missing your wake

prod: @nversad

ty @micmole for being adorable

lyrics:
i spent every day
loving you in a peculiar way
come thru, lemme see your face
i wanna hold you body when its next to me
you never cared about me
go ahead and forget about me

i spent every day in love
i spend every night with drugs
poppin pills and gettin dubbed
bitches know im not the one
im annoying all my friends
with the thoughts up in my head
all that talk about the dead
all that cant get out my bed
but thats the shit that ive been living
and its all i think about
so i start to let it out
on those that i care about

Follow me <3

i love it when you walk away (prod. nversad x yesterday)

prod @4evrgone i jus added sum bass <3

found myself so thin
downing bottles again
I don't care what you did
just wanna distance myself

from the old bleeding well
from those posts seeking help
know I can't accept shit 
so just go on without me

just get on without me 
know it won't be harming 
know you won't be hurting 
from much that's been haunting me

and that's fine

leave it up to me 
let me fucking bleed 
let me stay 
x3 

it never really mattered anyway

it never really mattered anyway prod. 4evr

I just want to take a moment to thank Swoon. for making this song with me ages ago. This song has been kept in the vault far too long and I hope you all love it!! You are all so amazing, more songs soon to come!! 
Shoutout @hkfiftyone2 for mixing our vocals <3

Lyrics-

Yung van:

You said that you were happy but you're not
You said that you would love me but you won't
I called you on your phone but you not home x2
You already know, that I have go
I left you a note, in your raggy coat
Tried to call your name, but you walked away
Tried to call your name but you walked away
I miss the nights were yeah
We would drive in my car
I miss the dates were we could stare at the stars
But I have to go, fate is calling me
But I have to go, one day you will see
Look in to the sky, I will wait for you
We can be together if you wait for me
You already know, that I have go
I left you a note, in your raggy coat
Tried to call your name, but you walked away
Tried to call your name but you walked away
When your feeling down, look into the sky
Think of me and you, you don't need why
You will always be something more to me
Yeah you will always be something more to me

Swoon:

get up, go leave, now
our love is through now, I can't believe you
all of the time, I spent in my mind
was wasted on you
I'm gonna miss you, I wanna kiss you
I will remember you
I'll be gone by the night, you can turn on the lights
but I won't be by your side
get up, go leave, now
please, just get up, go leave, now
our love is through now
I said our love is through now...

SPOTIFY LINK

Something More w/ swoon. (prod. ELIESG)

Guitar/Prod; https://soundcloud.com/93feetofsmoke <3

Lyrics:

GrxyIce:
Is it too much 
to want this to fade 
can't i, jus relieve the pain 

distanced myself
fucked up my health
nothing really helps
nothing really helps

GrxyIce & 93:
wear myself thin
bones are snapping again 
an is it too much 

93:
nothing i take 
helps the ache 
numbs my pain 
nothing i do 
lifts the hate 
from my face

giving up on sleep 
i don't wanna breathe 
hide that i'm a fiend
just give up on me 
i'm a waste you'll see 
save your energy

GrxyIce & 93:
wear myself thin 
bones are snapping again
and is it too much 
and is it too much

Is It Too Much w/ 93FEETOFSMOKE (Prod. 93)

the first single off my EP

@ihateshinigami

the void (ft. shinigami)

fats'e - cut me off

featuring
production and vocals from @vibevoka
guitar, bass and vocals from @cpt_sad
vocals from @barrenwaste
live drums from Jordan Davis [https://twitter.com/jordancd3_]

voka

yeah im fading
into the ocean
just waiting for my death bed
complicating
any emotion
just feel like no one knows me :( 

barren

birds eye view 
of a man staring back
picture frame take ya
20 years past 
known intuition 
1 year in your lap
raised me 
to take none
and give what you get 
chanting there’s not 
enough time left 
can’t snap back 
to the right mindset 
going to sleep
at 6 in the morning
light coming 
rain is still pouring
eyes open
to the sunset 
soul trying to 
out run me

go away 
as far as can be 
gunning the streets 
shout from the tops of trees 
it’s all gonna end 
so be where u need

yesterday

i know that nothing will last
give me some time, i been coped with the past
i cannot take it all back
love aint a feeling
its bout how you act
couldnt've put in the work that you needed
i cannot sleep without bleedin
keep me at bay or the storm wont subside
its rainin, its pourin
lets go for a drive
75 down memory lane
im gettin high to numb all the pain
forget your smile, forget my name
its been a while and shit aint the same
been too busy disassociating
daylights fading
in the shadows fate is waitin for us

having to relearn the things
that i used to know so well
tell me what you wanna hear
if i speak my heart too loud
in the depths of the ocean
i lye resting peacefully

dont you stop and ever think about how things used to be? 
[i do all the time]

no one knows me (w/ voka & barren) [prod. voka x yesterday]

▟▛ ▙▟ ▙ ▚▞ █ ▜▛ ▞▚ ▙▄ ▟▛

missing your wake

shae delea

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Nick Martin-Bourne

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