First recorded by Care of the Cow, Chicago, Oct 2023
https://soundcloud.com/careofthecowband

This version recorded A'dam Jan 2024.
Part of an ongoing queer temporalities project to incorporate bits of past work into future musics. A line from the 1970 ballad Every Now and Then found its way here.
LYRICS
And I thought I knew a thing or two
I was so sure I knew this about that, that about this
Then I was not so sure for after all
What is blue? 
What is blue?
I can easily recall a memory of you 
and feel quietly certain that it might be true
Or? Or not?
Or is it just a story I tell tiredly? Over and over and over again 
Is it just a story I repeat entirely, to keep from fading away?
In a way
I tend to bend the end, I tend to bend the end

I found a clue outside a laundromat,
It suggested I should temporarily
Let the past enfold futurity
Give myself a break before I break 
and you?
Can you tell me what is blue? 
Please, can you tell me what blue is?

I know I know I know you said
When you close your eyes in search of lost illusions
it worries you to find they’re not your own
You know you know you know I said
when I close my eyes to conjure fabulations
It surprises me to feel they cut the bone.
             
Are these just a stories I tell casually? Over and over and over again 
Are these stories we repeat insistently, to keep from fading away?
Are these stories we repeat insistently, to keep from fading away?
In a way

What is Blue

What Is Blue

The song Albertine was written by myself and X Baczewska a combining of my song about the liberation of Proust's character Albertine and a song by Christine (X) which I always thought of as "her heaven's wrinkled at the corners." This was recorded live at Juicy John Pink's , probably in 1978. I uploaded it here as we segued to the end of Ode on a Gertrude Stein with the "tend to bend the end" trope I reused recently in What is Blue.

Albertine.live.1978

Studio improv from three prompt words : initial condition, power, eclipse.  Rhythms and choral vocals were laid down first and then the spoken word text from Gertrude Stein seemed appropriate at the time.

Repetiiton.Care of the Cow.2004

skunk and racoon discussing climate change (A/D) 🎧 listen with headphones

many sparkly light reflections (D#) 🎧 listen with headphones

subterrestrial activity (A/C) 🎧 listen with headphones

towake 2 (D#/D#) 🎧 listen with headphones

LYRICS
Sifting through the photographs, Acknowledging the scenes				
You’re standing there					
Opening the envelopes, Extinguishing the memes				
You’re taking care					
Or so it seems						
As you wander through the tropes and dull cliches       	
You feel obliged to let them slip away			
Even as you claim the knotted mysteries		
If anyone’s to blame 					
It’s in the wind						

Examining the sediment, Gathering the seeds
You’re almost there
Disregarding relevance, Anticipating needs
You wonder where
The story leads
As you percolate your wayward tendencies
You give yourself a fighting chance to play 
Refocusing your tired strategies
If anyone’s to blame 
It’s in the wind	

Running through the anagram, Tripping on the seams												
You dare to fall
Juggling the paragraphs, Rearranging teams 
You surge and stall
As in your dreams
When you try to listen to your empathy
You feel afraid you’ll hear a monotone
As you continue your trajectory
Is anyone at home?
Or in the wind?

Sifting Through The Photographs

Another version of Waiting and Not Waiting. This one swing inspired.

LYRICS

Circling the difference between
Waiting and not waiting
Conscious of a pending unforeseen
Singing softly while complaining                
All the while the sycamore
Standing solemnly outside the door
Stays green a little longer than before

Situating matters in a dream
The uncanny and “of course”
While foraging the tendencies that seem
To distance grieving from remorse            
All the while the sycamore                          
Standing silently on the forest floor
Adapts to what the planet has in store

Symptomatic rumblings convene
Troubled ways of living
Ready for a god to intervene
Reluctant yet forgiving 
Well good luck with that my dears
While your good intentions seem sincere
We fear the consequence of waiting and not waiting

Sycamore

La Contadora _ The Teller of Tales a poem by Gabriela Mistral

Gabriela Mistral poetry translated by Ursula K. Le Guin
with the sounds and voice of: Sher Doruff
sound and editing: Paula Montecinos Oliva
mastered: Rafa Barreto

La Contadora _ The Teller of Tales a poem by Gabriela Mistral

Punchlines
You got a red tattoo to wear to a rich man’s party
I wore a camouflage beret
We stole the gist from all their cocktail jokes
No one noticed that the punchlines got away.
Hey hey.
I can’t hear it anymore
I gotta quit this cabaret.
I can’t defend my defences through this storm without
Damaging my outfit on the way.

You tried to hypnotise a current in a maelstrom.
I tried to live atop a tree
We planned to euthanize as the holey ship was sinking but we
Misjudged every opportunity.
Hey, hey
Shall we quietly close the door or
might we yet make a dent in the scheme
We’ve tried to justify every tired compromise
But each outcome exacerbates the meme

You danced a tango on a broken escalator
I watched a requiem parade
We followed every clue that hinted at some closure but the 
Evidence won’t rout the masquerade
Hey hey
Why not savor every fault-line
Hoist a banner to the sky?
We'll never catch the wisdom we were seeking but why not
Bite the dust and give it one more try

The Punchlines Got Away

In Chicago band Care of the Cow from 1974 to present. 
Worked in new music for dance and theater in NYC from 1983-1993.
After a 35 year hiatus as a Prof of Artistic Research in Europe, now re-exploring songwriting and re-learning guitar. Site will host archive material from 70’s, 80’s and 90’s plus song sketches from 2023 to present. Currently focusing on queer temporalities and memory as topics of interest.
See also CareoftheCowband on soundcloud and 
Care of the Cow 1983 album Dog’s  Ears are Stupid also on bandcamp, soundcloud and all streaming services.

The Punchlines Got Away

sher doruff