Jason solos both in this battle and a real fight

stuff I either mixed, recorded, wrote, etc. for (bandana nz made the thumbnail art btw :> )

○ My Resume【Old to New!】

Kilroy: Clarence The Duck
This Man: Box_Soldier22
Written by: Clarence The Duck and Box_Soldier22
Beat by Epistra
video coming soon to rap battle day
This is my first battle and I am very proud of it. Thank you to everyone who helped me make my first rap battle. Seya on the flip side.

Kilroy Vs This Man (Clarence The Ducks Rap Corner)

Video coming out soon
This took awile so hope you like it
Witten by: Clarence The Duck, Box_soldier22
Mixed by Light https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv40... 
Pingu Va: Clarence The Duck
your here you silly ding dong
The Penguin Va: Box_Soldier22
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvEM... 
Thumbnail by: BDGR
description copy and pasted from YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Eza4y3jI0o&ab_channel=ClarenceTheDuck  

seya later.

The Penguin Vs Pingu

Joosh as GameCube
Belle Beniko as Rubik’s Cube
Writing by GnomeYT
Cover art by GnomeYT 
Mixing by Box_Soldier22

GameCube:

Challenge in a rap, and I will square off with a lame shape! (Ay)
It seems I’m repping yet another Melee. (Ay)
But GameCube maims in a brawl,
And I’ll break you apart, like the way you get solved! (Whoo!)
Sweeping with the flow as if it’s Sunshine’s goop, this
block game falls, breaks like Jenga, in Ru-bits!
Used to losing to us computer games, it’s pathetic, when this
Multi-coloured puzzle couldn’t even stack to Tetris!
One simple test can’t compare to all my games!
Are you nervous to fight me? You got a full white face!
I’m in my Prime, you have dying relevance, dude.
Now not even pretzel makers want to twist you.

Rubik’s Cube:

Run the numbers in your code, I’ve nearly infinite possibilities!
You can’t even spin discs for the Chibi-Robo series.
You’re not Free to Melee, fans aren’t happy when their damn flame’s cancelled.
All the controversy proved that you aren’t fly, that ain’t Falco!
You were a tool for clowned experiments (click)
Which simply is to be thrown out in the trash. (clack)
Shadow Mario can’t make your raps slick (click)
You try to take steps, but then slip on your ass. (clack)
You’re backwards and taking the L when I spit (click)
Running a track, call it a Double Dash. (clack)
But I give Zero Fs about your graphics (click)
Rendered unused, like your LAN. E Gadds! (clack)

GameCube:

Can’t bring your amusement back in all of these new structures,
The real snake is your creator stealing ideas and work from others!
Nobody’s hungry/Hungary for you anymore,
Not been to a party, I’m ruling with four!
Constantly used to be disassembled,
But you couldn’t make one diss assemble?

Rubik’s Cube:

Think you can party, you’re dead wrong.
You couldn’t get shots with Shadow the Edgehog!
Trying to pound me like ground with the bongos?
Your music monkeys around more than Kong, bro.
3 by 3, I’m mean, rhyme heat, hype schemes, unlike your asshole crew.
Packing a handle, I’m still the single one who carries you.

GameCube VS Rubik’s Cube | Rhinoceros Rap Rumbles: Bonus

What's up guys its been a while. We have the king of cowards Shaggy Rogers vs The young cult fighter Sal Fisher. This is one of the first battle ideas that I had ever started to wright and I kind of forgot about it until about a month ago. I hope you enjoy and Pingu vs Penguin video is coming out soon as well as the video for this. 

ForgottenSon as shaggy

BDGR as Sal

Art by myself

Mixed by Box_Soldier22

Thumbnails by Box_soldier22

Beat by Dansonn

Lyrics:

Shaggy (0:12)

Like Zoinks scoob, looks like we're facing another ghoul 
Who is constantly bullied every time he goes to school
If you're facing a saying then you must have a death wish
But i'm sure deformed milhouse isn't something i should mess with
Put on your glass eye to see the win that your getting
You can't see it because you got your face blown off by kenneth
Killin you mom in the process, now that is qwite the tragedy 
Although it's not a loss when your killed your friends and your family
A girl killed by a bronie? Well that sounds like baloney 
When unmasking him in your dream proved to you he was a phony 
But then it turns out to be a much bigger threat than you think
Iv seen more creative stories in invisible ink


Sal Fisher (0:45)
I've just seen a ghost, and i thought i was dead
Like being overused in rap battles seems to be your specialty?
Call you the verbal mrs sanderson when your being stabbed to death 
Cuz being put behind your bars i'd rather die to electricity 
It's the ripoff jughead jones, you best had come alone
Cuz if you're bringin a talking dog, now i know you're gettin stoned
Now i'll throw you a bone, my series was kinda unknown
But you're running at the first sound of a moan or a groan
Your only fans have outgrown you, while your trying on chalone you
try and impress Dinkley but jinkies you just end up all alone, dude
I cant believe that your trying to best me in this bout
Cuz i know your poorly aged cartoons aren’t something to brag about

Shaggy (1:19)
Looks like emo fran bow decided to grow some balls
Have you seen my reputation i'm the best in rap battle brawls
Im charging up my powers, you're about to get your world rocked
Bros only remembered for edgy cosplayers on tik tok 
Your exposition dumps are boring, I'm glad to give you the ax
But your verse was even more depressing than your story's climax
Your face doesn't matter, the only plus of that trash gives 
covering your ugly mug is what the point of your mask is
Your just a freaky, nosey, too charismatic kid whos
final attempt at redeeming himself was cut short dude
Because your only known to be a jackseptic playthrough 
All i need is one present of my power to defeat you


Sal Fisher (1:52)
I took down a cult you arrest old men and than party
I stay with my friends while your riding off laurel and hardy
Ghosts, zombies, Kiss, pirates, robots, and wizards
Your a coward in all, they should call you lilly lillard
So scram you hippie, i'm not afraid of blood
I’ll scare your courage the cowardly dog and leave you face down in the mudd
Back in the day you were known as one of the comedic gods
Nowadays your just milked for clickbait and fnf mods
Your live action sequels couldn't get your timeline steady
And your a manchild, stuck slurping on mothers spaghetti
Not in one episode of your series you ever played the brave man
Cuz the only thing that you care about is “where is the caveman?”

thanks for tuning in, bye.

Shaggy Rogers Vs Sal Fisher

loud sound warning 

Bro what did I do to you, why are you throwing strays at me.
I really don’t get it Psytube, attacking me like I’m Jofinity.
You just made your biggest mistake.
Funny. You’re the psyduck, yet you give me the headache 
It’s my turn, put the toys away.

Being an ass for no reason isn’t charming
Maybe you’ll be cool if you started evolving 
Your bars and your fan base are both starving 
I knew your disses would have been bad before I started 

You probably didn’t think I would respond 
If you wanna get bread, Psytube, go to the pond
You got bob Ross rhymes dude. You can’t compare us two.
Common Nugget L’s exist now but it all started with you 

The sun goes down that’s when  they get started
They’ve got one mission: thats to kill the target!
Are you the kinda miner who can fight off all the mobs?
Or are you just another noob who DOESN'T SHUT UP!! 


Mixed by Box


this a joke.

"It had no effect." (PROD LEXNOUR)

the connection is friday
happy friday the 13th
i did this in like 3 hours
Box_Soldier helped a little with mixing so i have to credit him
https://soundcloud.com/user-279062647
Beat by Dansonn
I did everything else
Lyrics:
Jason
Yo my name's Jason ,Know you know who you are facing
You don't have a high education, If you think i won't smash your face in
I left freddy dead as a severed head and murdered tons of women
Yet your mod developers would get a longer sentence in prison

This blue haired fuckboy must be delusional to think that he is winning
Cuz like every fucking victim i sprint after, you are trippin
Other than rapping this limpdick id rather travel to the future
beep boop is what you say, you sound like a space computer

Boyfriend
Yo its bf, along with my gf, You better flee because your bout to be f’d
So imma say cya, to this mouthbreetha,Cuz if his mommy said no to him he would freeze yup
At rap battles i'm an ace, your ass is more like acexperts
I leave opponents burned alive, you just leave them with red shirts

You say I'm making weird sounds? Can you even hear yourself?
Your breathing heavy like your old, your should fucking klill yourself
This rhythm game leave victims slain, you'll never get any 
Cuz all the women you meet all meet the tip of your machete 

Jason 
Shut the fuck up, that verse was pretty good, but i think i can foil it
Nowadays your fans watch banban and skibiti toilet
I've been huing, shot, slashed, axed and still live through all of it
You were popular for like 6 months and then completely fell off of it

Boyfriend
Nah bro i was in stitches when i see you split at the seams
Yeah my fandom may be pedopiles but you murder a bunch of toppless teens
So this hockey player best hang up the mask, its lights out for this chode
I about to call in an airstrike because i can speak in morse code

Jason Voorhees Vs Boyfriend (CTDRC)

WATCH THE FULL VIDEO: https://youtu.be/aaE2Isa1rPQ

Brodecai as Slenderman (Audio)
Dudz as Slenderman (Video)
Vladimyr P. as Jeff The Killer (audio) 
Dudz as Jeff The Killer (Video)
YDGeon as Announcer

Slenderman: 

Confusion is what humans may feel with my presence
but nothing compares to your whole storie’s coherence
The photos will show that a threat’s what i pose 
I brought fear to the mist, your whole thing’s getting smoked!
not close as a foe, either way, i’m approaching
No traces, thats why i’m acting silenced
When least expected, they’ll be infected 
feeling burnt out to end up missing like your eyelids
My legend’s what settled this whole sensation 
Spreading shock and fright to entire nations 
Looks like ripped off Joker can’t be taken so serious
The only cracks you got just made you go delirious
Rejected by the Wiki, and your fans grew tired
How you’re gonna fire back when your status backfired?
Dare to enter my domain, there's no way you can survive
 but judging by your face, you’re always due to ‘’crossing lines’’
   
Jeff the killer:

Jeff the killer, death is quicker 
So you better run while you still can
Arrive at night, sharp as my knife 
That's why i’m gonna slice up Slenderman!
Enter your domain? as if it was your reign
But you forgot something: I GOT WOODS ON MY NAME!
My lines are packing heat, cuz i’m giving burns like bleach
Feeling stressed? should be! you’re next on my murder spree 
Tried to hit the big screen, and your film was a debacle
That budget couldn’t prevent you of being Something Awful
cuz a game brought your fame, then decayed years later
As always, you’re a lame excuse to seeking paper
For the genre, it is true that you've paved the way 
But thanks to rap battles, you went from slaying to slave
So don’t faze my rage if you still think i'm that weaker
I beat all bullies by myself, you got outclassed by a math teacher!

Slenderman: 

Slit your mouth yet those words have failed to cut deep
Causing snores is the only way you’ll make go to sleep
The damage i create can’t be healed from any mind  
You pass the same effect when seen on Gacha Life
the impact i left goes beyond some numbers
All proxies by my side, you’re only loved by Tumblr
I guess your bad rap/rep is just too hard to cover 
Struggling behind bars? should’ve learned with your brother

Jeff the Killer:

Did you teleport your rhymes? Cuz they felt so out of place
 Should’ve expected that when you lack a mouth on your face
Calling out my targets, as if yours aren’t offensive 
You’re easy to defeat; take a seat with Chris Hansen
See the bigger picture: no one’s scared of your horror
So do what you do best and just stay in the corner
Put some meaning on your writing, so its not bland as usual
Suit and tie fit just right, since this became your own funeral *laughs*

Eyeless Jack:
Its Eyeless Jack here! 
Messing with me is quite risky
Once i murder on this beat, i'll go and eat  
your ki- 
*gets shot and falls on the floor*   

Dudz:
Dude, who the heck let this guy in? The battles finished!
*sigh* Fricking royales…


Written By Dudz
Addit. Writing Help by Vladimyr P., Bacon Pancake & Brodecai
Researching Help By Danii
Beat prod. by HEKS
Mixed and Mastered by Captain Jorge
Thumbnail and cover art by Cidisswo


EYELESS JACK CREDITS

Dudz as Eyeless Jack 
Other Eddie as himself

Written by Dudz
Beat prod. by 2Deep
Mixed by Cidisswo


Special thanks to JotaSeis, Cidisswo, Vladimyr P., Captain Jorge, My Parents, Matthew Thomas, ERBParodies and you

JEFF THE KILLER VS SLENDERMAN- AMATEUR RAP BATTLES

Huggy Wuggy vs. Oogie Boogie - Horror Rap Battles!

Dumbshlop as Oogie Boogie

ThanosQuack as Huggy Wuggy

Cover Art by TomPuffs

Art by Tompuffs

Mixed by Box

Written by King Ducky

Prod. Diamondstyle

Oogie Boogie:
Lookie rookie it’s the Oogie Boogie man!
Could he? Would he? Oh he would, he could, he can!
Run in through vents, escape fast!
Or I’ll put this to bed like a tranq dart 

Too bad you’re smothering sized you up to be 
A bumbling kaiju but to me 
We’re nothing alike, through stuff and seams
A crumbling child too dumb to speak
Lays stunted and cries to some degree.. but
Who who who
Who has more bugs stuck inside? You on release!

Huggy Wuggy:
Hi bud! Seems you’re a thicker buddy to fiddle with
I could see you in the bigger bodies initiative!  
That burlap sack is in a tight squeeze!
You're mad at the fans behind me when your armies a clique of kids?

I’m taking shape
Running through and making way
Something you can’t say the same 
Gainst me? Leader of the kkkfc!?

Yuh huh

Your spin-offs can stay a forgotten stain on Burton's name; squashed like his holiday was! 

Oogie Boogie:
He wanders alone at night
Through the halls where the gross have thrived
I spy the belly of utter mob homicide
Five Nights at Freddy’s conjured up clones alike
The martyr of YouTube kids
Hahaha.. your product line honours the prototype! 

Instead of soul or respect with them 
His devs would show their offensiveness 
Bad creations like FNAF animations
With fetish odor immense in em!
That check-ya-shoulder defense gimmick 
Or Ekrcoaster as theft-ridden 
Your devs couldn’t think outside the box if they get hit over the head with it!

Huggy Wuggy:
But once Jack first fought this bug satchel
One tug and your plot thread unraveled!
Undone as for what threat ya had well 
Stomped gone, had your bug head on gravel

Still evade light? Well explains why the pillowcase might get slept onto
Time to shine and you sprint away right before you die scorched and get the boot?
Pissed off Santa cant fix a trap to get rid of Jack cause
Boogie was blown out of proportion and fell off in a pit of lava

Huggy Wuggy vs. Oogie Boogie - Horror Rap Battles! [ft. Dumbshlop & ThanosQuack]

Full video coming later this year (Hopefully September).

Kurobane Azia as Cirno
Snakebite126 as Papyrus
Writing by AshleyMagica
Beat by Diamond Style
Mixing by Jort
Temporary cover art by TheToppo

Cirno:
Cower before my might, ‘cause I am the brightest!
Like a yokai-shaped lamp - I could fool you without hiding
I’m magical, adaptable, you know I’m a natural
Try and capture the ice fairy? You’d only catch a cold

Now students, here’s a math problem:
Five royal guards face off with me - the strongest 
Subtract all the ones that got slaughtered
‘Cause Papyrus was their only option
Aren’t you supposed to get buried when it’s dogs and bones, kid?
Anyway, who’s left to defend from the one whose heart’s so frozen?
The answer is zero! There are no royal guards in Snowdin!

And you haven’t gone yet, but I predict that your lines are written in Papyrus script 
You should try a different font, ‘cause to me, that’s like Egyptian hieroglyphs
I got more fans, ‘cause I’m cooler! They wrote you hate mail, now I’m sending it
Let me spell it out for you: those are the only letters you’ll ever get

Papyrus:
THIS IS GENSOKYO’S STRONGEST? MY, YOU SURE FELL FAR
YOU’RE SO ILLITERATE, YOU CAN’T HANDLE YOUR OWN SPELL CARDS
AND WHEN THIS JUNIOR’S JUMBLED, YOU SOB LIKE, “WAHHH! IT AIN’T FAIR!”
THEY NAMED A DAY AFTER YOU? THEY SHOULD’VE NAMED A DAYCARE

YOU’RE A PAWN FOR ZUN’S GREED! YOU DARE CALL ME THE MONSTER?!
HE MILKS YOUR NAME SO MUCH, YOU SOLD OUT TO DAIRY SPONSORS
CHIRUMIRU HAS NO SAUCE, SO I’LL GO BACK TO MY PASTA
AND FURTHERMORE… SKELETONS CAN’T CATCH COLDS, YOU BAKA!

Cirno:
HEY, BACK OFF! I’m not six nor am I sixteen! I’m sixty!
I’m not your type, you sick creep! I know with children, you like getting Frisky
And despite living in snow, you reek of flop sweat
Carry my fairy status with pride, while you’re a skeleton in the closet 

Maybe try Chirumiru - it strengthens your gains
It’s good for your bones, and it’s the best thing you ever did taste
Besides that kid’s blade that got you sent to your grave
You’ll never change that human’s genocidal ways by giving them a friendly embrace
Couldn’t keep your head in the game
So you got reduced to a head in your game

Papyrus:
WHY, YES! YOU’RE AN EXPERT WHEN IT COMES TO GENOCIDAL TOLLS
THE POINT I’M MAKING IS: YOU SHATTER POOR ANIMALS INTO ICICLES
AS A ROYAL GUARD, IT’S MY DUTY TO WARN THE FROGGITS!
PAINT ME AS THE VILLAIN? I BET YOU’RE JEALOUS OF THEM ‘CAUSE YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT LEAP IN LOGIC

I SEE YOUR VILLAGE HAS COME TO REPORT A PROBLEM
THEY SAY YOU’VE ACCRUED A FORM MORE MONSTROUS…
WAIT! DID YOU JUST MAKE THAT CLAIM BECAUSE THAT ONE TIME, YOU WERE DRAWN WITH DARK SKIN?!
THAT’S YOUR CUE TO LEAVE, 9-BALL - YOU’RE OUT OF POCKET

DID YOU SEEK ME JUST BECAUSE THEY BROUGHT POTENTIAL RECRUITS OUT?
YOU THINK 9 COMES AFTER 2 - I HARDLY THINK YOU’D COUNT
JUST A LAUGHINGSTOCK WHO GOT THROWN OUT OF KEINE’S SCHOOLHOUSE
THAT’S GENSOKYO’S SPECIAL ATTACK! YOU ARE BLUE NOW!

Cirno vs Papyrus - AM Rap Battles

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have two platforms for casual gamers, one for browsers and one for mobile devices; Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Cool Math
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter: www.twitter.com/commander_jacob

TaigaTonic as Google Play
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TaigaTonic
Twitter: www.twitter.com/TaigaTonic

- LYRICS -

CMG (0:12)
Listen Talking Tom, let’s just speed up the chat
I’ll kill a record, you ain’t even up to Scratch
Park it. Whose site’s been driving since ‘97? Not yours
If you bring your bars forward, I’m flipping ‘em like Bloxorz
This Dude’ll Jump to a height he still can’t reach my peak from
I’m your Papa and you just entered the Beat-ya-ria
How’d we get you? This equation should cut it
Me, minus screen size and physical buttons

GPG (0:32)
There can’t be a Way To Die that’s a little bit Dumber
Cuz tryna catch up to me is just an infinite runner
It’s a crapshoot. You came to our platform and your app’s Pou
I have your appeal while not trapped in a classroom
Take the win off your wishlist, don't wanna level up your hope
Barely hanging onto life so I’ve come to Cut the Rope
Tweets and merch about your original game? Great plan!
… it’s still just Hangman

CMG (0:52)
Speaking of: personality. You’re not spelling it
Fireboy and Watergi- kid I’ve been in my element
But no, bro, I can tell you’re proud to be mobile
With your games you put on PC and controller logo
You’re constantly begging for reviews like you’re owed answers
Well here: "one star; iOS with no standards
Or quality assurance." And you’re claiming you’re dope?
Mr. CEO of “you got games on your phone?”

GPG (1:12)
You’re the start but I’m the end of Johnny Upgrade’s coins
E-rated Newgrounds is getting negative Play Points
Clashing our Clans is really asking for death
My brand Game On lock with how it PAX an event (Let’s go!)
I don’t even need Flappy or Red to fuel my Jetpack
Your prominence Bricked! Mine? You can’t get Half
Algebra, Geometry: type of stuff you Dashed from
Still being named “Cool Math” doesn’t add up

CMG (1:32)
The kids behind the screen? Brought their childhood radness
You green hogs are only tryna siphon their cash quick
“World's Hardest Game” for you is not piling ads in
No Candy, Crush you for free, fuck microtransactions

GPG (1:42)
This heat’ll shut you down; that’s a firewall. What I’ve gathered?
I’m not paying premium, but you won’t forget my past words
After you’ve Raided Shadows of Legends for your backlog
I made your numbers leave like your mascot or when Flash stopped

- CREDITS -

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Kelly Mac and Ben Fowler of Audio Network
Additional instruments by Splice and Neon Wave

Feedback by GamingPlush64, TaigaTonic, TheMonarchy, Freshy Kanal, RNG, JustGamer, Dilly Scott, Eric the Audible, 3ple, Danii, TheBabyBeef, Powerofdan, and the rest of the spaceship
Shout-out to Mr. Tibbs, Fightmarker, ayjayyy, and Karen Lyn Davis

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games | Rap Battle (LARB)

ENNWAY as Quote
Lexi M. As Ted the Caver
Written by JK03 and Tess
Additional Writing by ENNWAY
Beat produced by ENNWAY
Mixed by ENNWAY
Cover Art by BELSXN

Quote (0:21):
When I woke up, my way out was to brave this death site
But they’d have to pay me to navigate that website
You’re not fit for this, the pressure’s intense
No red flowers in sight, and yet you’re still looking pressed

You spent a whole (hole) 3 months of your blog not exploring
Drilling with your story, you kill me, it’s so boring
Droning on hopelessly, repeating descriptions
Of a single opening, next thing you know you’ll be riddled with them

You dragged your friends in your mess and failed to conquer it
Jenka's taking better care than your pack of goners did
It doesn’t take amnesia to forget the spread you wrote
I’ll stun you into silence 'fore you get to end Quote

Ted the Caver (0:54):
It’s time to log a new entry for another find
Turns out there is something hiding on the other side
An abandoned fighter tasked to find the mad device to rescue lives
And that is why he answers his companion crashing down by prancing by?

I ride at night, exploring shafts for that adrenaline high
Shed light on more than just the panties catching eyes from this guy.
All those swords don’t mean that you’re the cut-out man for the job
When you’re paper-thin, but fail at throwing hands with some rocks

Quote (1:16):
You're worth about as much as the cameras you dispose
You treat your rapping like the caves that you search - If it blows, it goes
I come strapped, .45 on my hip
You got 45 pages biting Blair Witch

You can’t land a hit. Your shots tend to miss me.
Your movie unilaterally bombed, Ted Cave-zynski
So, you got reckless? The cave left you breathless?
Here’s how big a fuck I give. Stick your glove up there for reference.

Ted the Caver (1:38):
You’re shackled to Nicalis, but let’s see your boys sue
When you get your ass reduced to scrapped assets in Floyd’s Tomb
Amaya's vision was lobotomized by corporate choices
Now I'll drill this in your mind, so we're both hearing voices

Your crude graphics and designs can’t be haunting my mind!
I’ve seen scrabbles on walls on my rides better drawn than your sprites!
We’re pretty different! I’m committed to my mission
While you’d ditch your shit and dip the first occasion that you’re given!

Stranded in the island’s depths, this bot’s a lost cause
I have to find the end to the tale of this cave at all costs!
Try to cross me, you won’t stop my path to see this case cracked
I won’t need constant ports for me to make my way ba…

(Ted runs off into the darkness of the cave, never to be seen again)

Cave Story vs Ted the Caver - 100 Hour Rap Battle Challenge

TheMonarchy as Sherlock Holmes 
Zxy as Watson 
MetaStarVA as Albert Einstein 
Written by WeThink 
Mixed by Box
Beat prod by Jafo Styles
Character art by WeThink 
CoverArt by Toastie 
Special thanks to Corncob, Chaotic Rap Battles , Toastie & WiseOwl24 

Lyrics : 
Einstein: 
Let’s start with something simple, like avoiding this matchup 
We can replace it with a class on Astronomy or basic social interaction 
I could make you my pupil (hmm) or I can make you cry (huh) 
Resisting the math is futile when beating you is as easy as pi 

Beat you in jeopardy, Chess and Tic Tac Toe 
Even Oppenheimer is less of a misanthrope 
A mind so bright trapped on his brother’s shadow 
If Bending ears’s an art, then you sir, are Van Gogh 

High on your own fumes, this druggie shoots up 
Stay in that office shielded & cooped up (hmm 
I find repugnant all the tramps you employ 
It’s bad when even the doctor’s sick of your ploys 

Sherlock Holmes: 
Unfortunately Mr Einstein, I do have to ask a lot (like) 
How did someone who traveled lots never took a trip to the barbershop 
Now you shall be gobsmacked by my British charm & whitt 
But first we shall celebrate the USA allowed you spar & spit 

And I must say they life you chose is something I do not respect 
Defend the freedom of people who’d take away yours for being well read 
Your love life is a tragedy, so I’ll asume you were desperate 
Even disregarding the theories Einstein, she is still your relative 

Einstein: 
Dont act like you get The Woman, Irene would rather end it all 
That spend another minute having to deal with this animal 
Your mind spirals, while mine’s renowned around the globe 
You’re simply a Fibonacci sequence to my Da Vinci Code 

Personally I’m done with the stories of Jerk & Jill 
If I wanted some who’s all bark , Id visit Baskerville 
You’re Victorian I’m victorious, putting yourself in constant peril 
Proof your intelligence doesn’t register on an emotional level 

Holmes & Watson:
Holmes I thought you were joking facing a literal troll face 
More so Watson , I’m just trying to crack this basket case 
But for sure ain’t detective work hes just egotistical 
From doc to doc your oath to peace seems kinda hypocritical 

Too true , he’s crooked too, screw you, rude boob 
I’ll take the piss of this pacifist ha! Like the US used to 
In millions of civilian deaths is what’s your legacy is passed on 
Beating an old coo was Elementary, my dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes vs Albert Einstein - Literary Rap Battles! Ft. TheMonarchy , Zxy & MetaStarVA

Vanes as Roxanne Wolf

TaigaTonic as Claptrap

Beat by Diamond Style
Mixed by: Danii
Written by: TaigaTonic
Thumbnail by: M!CAH
Art by: Xoniq and Snakebite126
Special Thanks: garbageGothic, HazelMoth, JustGamer, TAFox, & Grasman

Roxanne:
You can already hear the fans scream my name while I play
So I thought I told you S.T.A.F.F. bots to stay outta my way!
(Ugh!) Do I really have to deal with more pests
I guess let's get this party started because I AM THE BEST! (YEAH!)

You like to gamble? Fazcade can get you back on track
Cause you took your films budget and put it all on Black
Like Bonnie you were worried about a strike when you dropped the ball
And act surprised when you had realized that you lost it all

Nobody cared for your birthday, so you tried to invite the whole town?
I guess you gotta have moxie, but even she turned you down
Sad, since that open door stays a core part of your life
But blabber bout me to your bandits, It’s all bark and no bite

Claptrap:
How’s it going friend! My name is Claptrap!
And you should know that I’m programmed to spit some phat raps!
But I gotta ask, cause my servers still needs to wake up
Why does a final product need to be made up with makeup?

All it took was 1 kid before you started getting bothered
“It's all bark and no bite” Until you’re tearing up toddlers
Then you're tearing in the mirror cause the “wannabe’s” don't like you
If that's how you treat yourself, then I don’t wanna be like you

But OF COURSE you were appealing to no one but lonely dweebs
Cause this dumb dog playing rough is what kept them on a leash
You're not that much of a bad ass, so this will be your last act
Cause you have fallen TO THE GREAT ALMIGHTY CLAPTRA-AHHHH

Roxanne:
GOD you're so annoying no wonder everyone grew bitter
Since a best friend dies and people treat you like the mood killer (Hey Friend?)
If some losers hadn't shown sympathy you wouldn't get far (Buddy…)
Cause you- HEY! WHAT! Look out for the (AH-) (crash sfx) kart…

Get this through your head, you're a screw up and know its true
Blew up Overlook cause no one cared to look over you
And once the townspeople thought you couldn't make things worse
You started burning bridges and killed everyone in the church

You’re pathetic! So every team wanted to do nothing but rid you
And you scrapped up your love life, just for it to also ditch you
When it blew up in your face no one was standing there with you
So when you're staring at a barrel, know nobody’s gonna miss you

Claptrap:
At least I’m not the garbage that your fans like to eat up
Cause I’m covered in less grease than a single slice of your pizza
I mean is that the shit that you've been dishing out this whole time?
If beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, NO WONDER you went blind (HA!)

You always wanted to have your big break in the spotlight
But your time for a photo finished the second that you got sidelined
Thought you could mask your loss with more makeup but the truth is
You're just another hunk of junk, now your foundation’s in ruins

And nobody wants to see your ass on the stage
So you can… BEEP BOOP while I BOOP BEEP on your grave
Now I leave to squabble with the rest of my minions
Cause my greatness was something you couldn't rise from the Mimic


Roxanne Wolf vs Claptrap - Five Nights at Freddy's vs Borderlands - Rap Battle! Ft. Vanes

DillyDally as Gerson
ThanosQuack as Old Man McGucket
Writing by AshleyMagica
Additional writing by WAN, DillyDally, & ThanosQuack
Art by WAN
Beat, mixing, & graphic design by DillyDally

Gerson:
Welcome to my shop! Please don’t throw a cryin’ fit
Sellin’ yourself as a tragic hero? I ain’t buyin’ it
You must be strapped for cash, judgin’ by your redneck campground
Guess all that fishin’ for gold didn’t pan out

Annoyed the damn town with your nonsense and rumors
Now *you’re* a local legend, they call you the Gobbledegooker
I’d say it’s all in one of my books, but you’d never read one
If I said you’ll eat your words, you’d *literally* eat ‘em

Spouse left you - how’s it going with that new life?
She took the ring, so you had to get a raccoon wife
And you’re treated as a joke by the last of your bloodline
Are you from underground? ‘Cause you’ll never see your son rise

McGucket:

I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!
With its long gee-rafe neck and its green wrinkly skin
It’s the Gersonwonker! The beast what lives with the Darkners
And is dim as a bulb, but still thinkin’ he’s smarter

But you’re too slow! If your son’s a sign, you always miss the boat
Scuttle off, and don’t you butt in on the hillbilly GOAT
You think your advanced age will stop me? I’ve dined before
I’ll get you out ya shell WHEN I EAT UP ANOTHER DINOSAUR!

Don’t string me along! I flim-flam the banjo!
Thought I wouldn’t clap back? I’m goin’ hambone
Pah! Don’t you act like some literary master
You can’t even shimmy shammy to the end of your chapter!

Gerson:

Yeesh, you sound like you’re dyin’! Are you kickin’ the bucket? 
Drink your own tonic - you sound like a chicken, McGucket 
And your hillbilly grammar should land you in the slammer 
Ditch the moonshine and you’ll still get hammered! 

I challenge folks to snatch my hair and every one of them falls 
The march of time got ‘ya, and you went bald 
You’re just a scholar’s buddy that he ditched to explore 
The banjo player’s always playin’ second fiddle to Ford 

We can all rewrite the prophecy, but ‘cause of all the death you’d seen 
You went from building computers to clearing your own memory 
And now, ain’t a single thought that goes through that wiped mind 
Once again, your life will be wrecked by a Blind Eye

McGucket:

You’re weak as mule spittle, that I’m certain of
You’re less Gerson Boom and more Gerson Bust
Used to be a war hero, now you’re tryna sell stock
Guess even the best of veterans get shell-shocked

All your priest son ever needed was your blessin’
But you turned to a holy ghost ‘fore makin’ your confession
Susie had to take credit for your letters like a spelling bee
The one thing that never passed on was your legacy

I bet your heart is all heavy without the chestplate
Your big statue’s more threatening, you’re just dead weight
If you think you’ll pass down your skills, don’t get your hopes up
‘Cause now your hammer is gatherin’ your own dust

CRANKY KONG MOTHERFUCKER:
I’ve had enough of watching hillbillies decay
Now pay respects to the original DK
That’s right, it’s me, Cranky Kong, from Donkey Kong Bananza
I’ll show both of your wives a real OHHH, BANANAAAA

AshleyMagica as Cranky Kong


Gerson vs Old Man McGucket - Disney Rap Battles!

Beetlejuice vs The Mask

Cole as The Batter
Swizkii as Brad Armstrong
Beat produced by Theskybeats
Written by Trakked, Cole and Buckethead
Additional help from Buckethead
Mixed by Jordy
Art by CyanCoat
Thumbnail by TomPuffs

Battle:

The Batter (0:30):
My introduction needs no more clarification.
This track is in need of immediate purification.
You’re akin to the spectres I’ve vanquished, so learn your place and
Succumb to my holy fire and die in your isolation
Your soul has been corrupted, I've been sent to purify ya
So keep your freaks away, ‘cause I prefer to work in silence 
You cannot let go of your trauma, so here’s your reminder
Lisa is buried and serves her purpose as fertilizer.
Taste my holy wrath, and soon you shall be burning. 
You were right when you wanted a wife but said you don't deserve it.
The women went out in a flash, the same with your dreams of third base.
Can’t escape from your purpose when you don’t have one in the first place.
I change the world for the better, you’ve no excuse
I break the chains of vacants, you can’t break the cycle of abuse
When taking the blame for your friends, Columbo beat you to no end
‘Cause you went and dropped the ball and your baby atop her head.
Raised your daughter with your friends, then it ended up bloody
I'm hitting home runs, you couldn't make a home for Buddy
I shall be your instructor with something you should be taught at last:
The bottom of the bottle will not bring your daughter back.

Brad Armstrong (1:30):
You can't understand the pain that I’ve felt.
Your family dies, the only one to blame is yourself
I didn't want to see other people go through abuse
So I taught children to protect themselves against the men like you.
My mission's to protect Buddy at any cost,
Your mission's to kill your son ‘cause your love for him is lost.
Now you have nothing left to give.
You've been dead since the beginning; this is the day that I live.
Through your actions, the good in your life was thrown away. 
You don't take care of your baby, you don't know his name. 
I sheltered Buddy, yes, but at least she and I were safe
Because of you, Hugo never saw the light of day.
Created to be a father, but you ended up as worthless
You showed it in your verse, dragging on as long as Nern does
Your threats are empty, like the zones you're leaving stuck behind.
So come at me, you bitch, I'd like to see you fucking try.

The Batter (2:18):
Pop some Joy, you worthless junkie, maybe find the balls to fight me 
Or you could keep on whining and make like The Judge and bite me
This balding man is nothing; the guardians were no match for me
You’d only be sweet when turned to sugar in the factory
You have a tough shell, but on the inside you're pathetic. 
All you wanted was a hug from Buddy, but you couldn't get it. 
She hates you, Brad. That is why she purged your life. 
I'll turn this battle OFF. Adversary purified.

Brad Armstrong (2:42):
You took everything for granted, you emotionless freak
Never questioning your actions only shows that you're weak 
You needed Add-Ons to beat the ghosts and erase 'em
While I don't need a bat or even arms to bash your face in
They see you as a monster as you walk throughout the zones.
No matter what you try to do, you'll always be alone.
Destroyed your life in every step. Heh, welcome to the party, bud.
You managed to be an even worse father than Marty was.


The Batter vs Brad Armstrong - Rap Cypher #55

enjoy your stay :)

•PFP BY TOMPUFFS
https://on.soundcloud.com/FZ41W

•BANNER BY CIDISSWO 
https://on.soundcloud.com/ZkBK5

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