and one more thing

shiki:
if i told you i could take you to the moon, would you believe me?
and if i never ever told the truth, would you still leave me?
and you could never make this right, so it’s easy
and i don’t wanna make you cry so i’m leaving
re:
pop another bottle, end up broken on the floor
celebrating is my motto so i drink another 4
but i never get enough you always leave me wanting more
i’m addicted to your love but now ur sayin that ur bored
oh i’m so tired of pretending that i’ll leave you
say ur sorry and i swear that i’ll believe you
why’s it gotta be so hard
you just wanna break my heart
skele:if i told you i loved you, would you believe me
try not to think about how you don’t really need me
i know you love it, how it hurts, you got me bleeding
you could break me apart, i’m never leaving
and i just wanna make this work
it cuts deep, i don’t care if it hurts
would you leave if i say you’re the worst
leave me roses while i’m laying in the dirt
follow us:
@shikixo
@arr_eeh
@lilskeleskrrt
@splashgvng
@jolst

take you to the moon w/ skele x re: (prod.  splashgvng x jolst)

je te tieandrai dans mon coeur jusqu'à ce que je puisse te tenir dans mes bras.

lyrics:

shiki
I see why you left, this is awful
I don't wanna die anymore, I just want you
Kiss me while I'm dying inside of this bottle
Fall in love with strangers, now my heart is a hostel

Left my love on the east coast
But I don't wanna be alone, I don't wanna be alone, no
And you can text me good morning, but we're in different time zones
And I know that you don't care like I do
I'll find another one just like you
I'll find a new one, call her your name
Black my eyes and paint my face a new shade of grey
I ran away, in East LA where none of my love can get in the way
And baby, I don't think that you could save me
But thank you for trying

I hope you don't know it's about you when you hear this
But I knew you'd listen, only reason I wrote this
And I would bleed for you if I thought you would notice

I'm too scared to dream since I saw you
I told you I would move to New York and write a novel
But I'm still in my mom's house
The one that you warned me about
The one you said was haunted
I'm nauseous, I can't stop heaving
Who would want this? I'm still bleeding
Hide my ribs like, yeah I'm eating
Come save me, this room is freezing

skele:
I know why you left, this is terrible
As I was writing this, I wanted to let you know
It's getting really hard to let you go
I wanted five more minutes baby, just so I could hear you talk
Cuz everything I knew just fucking fell apart
You never really cared, you just played the part
And now you're gone, it's all my fault

hostel w/ skele (love,matt x chris marek)

@shikixo
@sace6
@reesoo
@prodmichael
You know I've been hurting baby, don't know I'm dealing
I been popping these prescriptions just so I don't have to feel it
Lost the only one I love, I guess I'll see you in a month or two
I'm no good at faking baby, only one I want is you

I remember every time that I fucked this up
I might die tonight, I might never see the sun
I'ma hold you in my heart 'til I can hold you in my arms
You know I've been bleeding baby, you can check my scars

And I don't care at all that you're leaving
I never had the thought of dying, but you gave me a reason to
It sucks to say I thought that I needed you
Oh, oh
I seen those pills on the floor
And girl I know that they're yours
If I lift the sleeve of your shirt
Am I gon' see all your scars? girl

12/24/21

scars w/ sace6 (reesooxmichaelwarren)

She met a boy, he was nice enough
She didn't care that much, she knew it'd never be love
He came to visit, slept in her bed
And all her friends had said just how this would end

She was too high to stop him, he took what he wanted
And no one believed her, she dropped out of college
His friends are all toxic: "I know him, he's honest"
This shit makes me nauseous, I wish I could stop it

I know you like me better when I'm too fucked up to talk
You like me better when I'm too fucked up to talk
I know you like me better when I'm too fucked up to talk
You like me better when I'm too fucked up

She told her friends and no one seemed to mind
If it was just one time, or they were both too high
Or if she led him on the way she likes to do
I bet she asked for it. I bet she liked it too
This body wasn't yours to start, so why the fuck you complaining
Fill up the sink with the blood and the vomit, body decaying
Swallow a million pills til we can't understand what you're saying
We'll call you crazy til you kill yourself and watch in amazement

But she didn't listen, thought maybe this was different
Maybe she deserved a break from all the shit she'd been in
He didn't care at all, blame it on the alcohol
Days awake from adderall, he says "I like you better when you're too fucked up to talk"

I met a girl, she was nice enough
I didn't care that much, I knew it'd never be love
She came to visit, let her sleep in my bed
And all my friends had said just how this would end

But I didn't listen, I thought maybe this was different
I thought maybe I deserved a break from all the shit I'd been in
You didn't care at all, blame it on the alcohol
Days awake from adderall, I know you like me better when you're too fucked up to talk

I was too high to stop you, you took what you wanted
And no one believed me, I dropped out of college
Your friends are all toxic: "You know her, she's honest"
This shit makes me nauseous, I wish I could stop it

But I didn't listen, I thought maybe this was different
I thought maybe I deserved a break from all the shit I'd been in
You didn't care at all, blame it on the alcohol
Days awake from adderall, I know you like me better when you're too fucked up to talk
But I didn't listen, I thought maybe this was different
I thought maybe I deserved a break from all the shit I'd been in
You didn't care at all, blame it on the alcohol
Days awake from adderall, I know you like me better when you're too fucked up to talk

TOO FUCKED UP TO TALK

VIDEO: https://youtu.be/7Z4d23TH0PE
And when you told me you were leaving I was happy at the thought
Cuz every time I get too close I act like somebody I'm not
And I know I'm not what you want, I know you're happier with him
Cuz every time I'm close to heaven, I can't help but sin

Touch me baby
I wanna feel you hurt me, love
I want you to tell me that I'm not enough and I never was
I give it all and I fuck it up
Touch me baby
I wanna feel you hurt me, love
I want you to tell me that I'm not enough and I never was
I give it all and I fuck it up

And I could tell you no, but that don't mean a thing
For tonight my heart's a stone, tomorrow, buy you diamond rings
And I know I'm better alone, cuz I can't take care of myself
Let alone somebody else

Touch me baby
Make me feel like I'm loved
Make me feel like I'm enough
Make me feel like I'm...
Fuck

Touch me baby
I wanna feel you hurt me, love
I want you to tell me that I'm not enough and I never was
I give it all and I fuck it up
Touch me baby
I wanna feel you hurt me, love
I want you to tell me that I'm not enough and I never was
I give it all and I fuck it up

video

touch me (dercept x heyrick)

I’ve said this a thousand times
I just wanna make you mine
I can’t sleep, I take a line
But I don’t wanna make you cry

Baby why you do me like that?
Wake up, a knife in my back
I fall asleep, heart attacks
I wish I could hurt you back
X2

But I could never do that
And I know I’m not what you want
And I’m too nice for my own good but darling,
Tell me I’m enough
But that’s a lie, cuz if I was you would’ve stayed
But I don’t cry, no I don’t cry
Oh baby

I’ve said this a thousand times
But every time you leave I DIE
I know I should stay alone
But I don’t wanna say goodbye

Baby why you do me like that?
Wake up, a knife in my back
I fall asleep, heart attacks
I wish I could hurt you back
X2

hurt you back (dercept x ayoley)

I don't remember the last thing you said
I was running around in my head
And baby, I don't really need another friend
I can't go through that again

No more, no more, I'm leaving
Why I'm falling on the floor, still bleeding
And you left me nothing to believe in
Those three words, they have no meaning
But tell me did you mean it? I don't think I believe it
I'ma take the long ride home, so scenic
I been talking to myself and we've been having disagreements
I been coming out my shell but I'm afraid that they'll see me

I don't remember the last thing you said
I was running around in my head
And baby, I don't really need another friend
I can't go through that again
I don't remember the last thing you said
I was running around in my head
And baby, I don't really need another friend
I can't go through that again

But I don't know if it was ever what I thought
I'm afraid of growing up so I just write another song
And now I think I'm blowing up, I'm getting everything I want
I want the world to know exactly what I'm on
I had to take you off my lockscreen yesterday
Don't you know? We're too old to play these games
I want the whole world to know my name
But I been going insane
(Oh-oh)
But baby, I remember we was kissing in cars
And I remember all the pictures you drew over your scars
And I remember when you told me that I'm gon' be a star
And I remember when you said you want me right where you are
(But I don't)

I don't remember the last thing you said
I was running around in my head
And baby, I don't really need another friend
I can't go through that again
I don't remember the last thing you said
I was running around in my head
And baby, I don't really need another friend
I can't go through that again

prod. love,matt x thislandis
mixed/mastered by love,matt
cover photo by @jxmesdylan

ICGTTA

Get me drunk
And watch me throw up
Fall in love with me
And watch me break apart
And the room is spinning way too fast
And you look just like you did last night
And everything's too loud
So watch me break apart

You can take it all away
I'll stay here, right where you left me
I'll be in the same bottle
But it's been getting empty
I can try, try, try
Telling lie, lie, lies
But my bloodshot eyes
Like the night when you met me
You can take it all away
I'll stay here, right where you left me
I'll be in the same bottle
But it's been getting empty
I can try, try, try
Telling lie, lie, lies
But my bloodshot eyes
Like the night when you met me

Then everything got slow
Fill me up with little blue pills and make me choke
Until there's nothing left except the hope
The hope that no one knows
And you don't know what I've been on
You just know me cause the songs
I've been running around in circles
Trying to find out where I'm from
And how can you be homesick
For some place you ain't never been
It's so cold outside
Just let me in

You can take it all away
I'll stay here, right where you left me
I'll be in the same bottle
But it's been getting empty
I can try, try, try
Telling lie, lie, lies
But my bloodshot eyes
Like the night when you met me
You can take it all away
I'll stay here, right where you left me
I'll be in the same bottle
But it's been getting empty
I can try, try, try
Telling lie, lie, lies
But my bloodshot eyes
Like the night when you met me

prod. me x thislandis

BLOODSHOT

prod. me x @hiraethsry

And I will love you 'til I'm broken by the weight
Of everything I've ever wanted and how it all has your name
I am trying, I am shaking, I am crying, I am breaking
Every second, every minute, I'm so tired, why's it raining
Baby, kiss me just to kiss me, not to take me home tomorrow
I am drunk and I am bleeding in your apartment, in the shadow
Of what we were when we were young
And you don't remember my name
And I'm so sorry, and I'm so sorry

And when I'm leaving, I'll pretend like I don't give a damn
But it's been four years, I just wanna hold your hand
It's been four years, don't know who I fucking am
Oh, oh
And when you're begging me to stay, I'll never listen
I guess it takes four years to know the difference
You knew me better than anyone and you hated me
So how the fuck am I supposed to love myself

And I will love you 'til I'm broken by the weight
Of everything I've ever wanted and how it all has your name
I am trying, I am shaking, I am crying, I am breaking
Every second, every minute, I'm so tired, why's it raining

I am drunk and I am bleeding in your apartment, in the shadow
Of what we were when we were young
And you don't remember my name
And I'm so sorry, and I'm so sorry

YOUDONTREMEMBERMYNAME

@shikixo
@lilskeleskrrt
prod. me

lyrics:
i could afford the lack of goodbye
i could afford the cheap seat at the back of the plane
i could afford the cab fair into the city
i could bear the concerned looks
the weights sewn into my pockets
the blazing sun
i have weight enough to jump
to fall
to sink
and never be seen again 

and i called you for what i thought was the last time
and when you said you loved me god, i swear i almost cried
and i can hear you screaming, see your shadow in the halls
i’m terrified to sink, but i’d do anything to fall 

and i keep jumping off of bridges in my dreams
your shadow follows me everywhere, you rip me at the seams
and i’ve been writing letters that i hope you never read
but maybe one day you’ll come back and i can get some sleep
and i’ll keep jumping off of bridges til the water’s like your arms
too safe to come back to, but there’s comfort in the dark

and i called you to hear your voice, i love the sound
i wanna say i love you but, god i swear i don’t know how
and i fell down again i know exactly what you want
cuts right through my skin i know you love to see my blood

take some time out, i thought you were everything i’m not
love i’m sorry, you thought i was pretty but i’m not
and i, i’ve been holding your heart while you’ve been breaking apart mine
the whole time, i know it’s not what you want but i just wish that you were mine

and i called you for what i thought was the last time
and when you said you loved me, god, i swear i almost cried…

i keep jumping off of bridges w/ skele

But I get tired of flashing lights, I wanna hear your voice again
But maybe one day you'll come back to me and we can play pretend
I promise I'll be fine. I know we haven't spoken since I left
But I'll see you when I see you, darling this is not the end

Oh no
I don't wanna go home
I love you and I don't know
How I'm supposed to let go
I knew that from the start, though
Everything you told me
I know it's been hard for you
Know you're feeling lonely
I heard you got a new one
Love him like you loved me
Since you left I've got so ugly
You're still lovely
Tell that boy he's lucky
But I been going up, I'll be fine
Just trust me

I'm homesick, love you gave me high high hopes
Dopesick, I been walking on a tightrope
Ask me if I'm alright, I don't know
I just wanna hold you close

Oh no
I don't wanna go home
I love you and I don't know
How I'm supposed to let go
I knew that from the start, though
Everything you told me
I know it's been hard for you
Know you're feeling lonely
I heard you got a new one
Love him like you loved me
Since you left I've got so ugly
You're still lovely
Tell that boy he's lucky
But I been going up, I'll be fine
Just trust me

TRUST ME

VIDEO: https://youtu.be/XZvFXCQpAPA
prod @shikixo x @thislandismusic

LYRICS
I been so fucked up, I don't got too much to say about it
Eyes wide shut, I guess I'll just shut up and pray about it
Where'd you go? I talked to God, I think the rain is drowning
Out my thoughts, what I want? I won't

I been so fucked up, I don't got too much to say about it
Eyes wide shut, I guess I'll just shut up and pray about it
Where'd you go? I talked to God, I think the rain is drowning
Out my thoughts, what I want. I won't talk about it
I been so fucked up, I don't got too much to say about it
Eyes wide shut, I guess I'll just shut up and pray about it
Where'd you go? I talked to God, I think the rain is drowning
Out my thoughts, what I want. I won't talk about it

I been so fucked up
I don't need no love
Ain't been thinking 'bout you much
I been off these fucking drugs
Baby baby, drive me crazy
I don't know what else to say about it
I know I promised I'll be fine
But I doubt it
And I don't wanna waste no time, I been losing my mind
Crushing little blue pills into little blue lines
And I been tryna do right by you but it's hard
Cuz I been so fucked up

I been so fucked up, I don't got too much to say about it
Eyes wide shut, I guess I'll just shut up and pray about it
Where'd you go? I talked to God, I think the rain is drowning
Out my thoughts, what I want. I won't talk about it
I been so fucked up, I don't got too much to say about it
Eyes wide shut, I guess I'll just shut up and pray about it
Where'd you go? I talked to God, I think the rain is drowning
Out my thoughts, what I want. I won't talk about it

VIDEO

EYES WIDE SHUT (VID IN DESC.)

video: https://youtu.be/By7tZuuDPuE
prod. me

LYRICS:
Lead me not into temptation
Simply fill me with drugs until I am unable to resist it
Take me to the water and hold me down
Until I become other holy or dead

Hold me, I'm so weak, I'm lonely
Only you would think you know me
Nosebleeds, I don't eat, I'm choking
Make me bleed or make me holy
Hold me, I'm so weak, I'm lonely
Only you would think you know me
Nosebleeds, I don't eat, I'm choking
Make me bleed or make me holy

Make me holy, hold me on your tongue
Crave me, make me your favorite drug
We tried but could not slake our lust
I think we're better off
In your batwing chest, I'm waiting to be saved
If not, at least I'll be erased
Said, what you want, you've gotta take
What if it's rightfully mine

I am what I fear and what I love will kill me, no matter the cost
And I don't know my name but what'd you call me? Somebody I'm not
Sometimes I feel like dying, then wake up reborn and start again
My friend I wasn't lying, we're all born from sin

Hold me, I'm so weak, I'm lonely
Only you would think you know me
Nosebleeds, I don't eat, I'm choking
Make me bleed or make me holy
Hold me, I'm so weak, I'm lonely
Only you would think you know me
Nosebleeds, I don't eat, I'm choking
Make me bleed or make me holy

MAKE ME HOLY [VID IN DESC.]

video: https://youtu.be/gTD_59hGtb0

I feel my skin, it's gotten rough
I taste like ashes, I know love
And loving you was just a dream'
But look at you, you're all grown up
Wake up now, I couldn't sleep
Bite my tongue and grind my teeth
There's someone looking at me
But it's not you, so I don't look
And I keep dying in my dreams, I can't explain this
For a second I thought maybe it'd be painless
I threw my love away because I wanted to be famous
But I don't know what I should do

And since you left, I'm living on the East side
You live in my phone, it's just something I can't reply to
Bottom of the bottle, maybe I could find you
But I don't wanna look too hard for a ghost
Started living for myself and it's hard but I know
I'm a needy little bitch, you just sit on a throne
Baby, you're so full of shit, what'd I miss? Now I'm home
With a bruised lip, slit wrist, coke nose

You only get so far doing what you're told
Never sold my soul, but I got damn close
And baby, you should probably hide before they find me
Wait. Fuck. I'm talking to a ghost

And since you left, I'm living on the East side
You live in my phone, it's just something I can't reply to
Bottom of the bottle, maybe I could find you
But I don't wanna look too hard for a ghost
Started living for myself and it's hard but I know
I'm a needy little bitch, you just sit on a throne
Baby, you're so full of shit, what'd I miss? Now I'm home
With a bruised lip, slit wrist, coke nose

NEEDY LITTLE BITCH [VID IN DESC.]

i love you to death and beyond

prod. me, guitar by me, mix/master by me
lyrics:
I never called you nothing sweet 
You told me come inside, I left my car across the street 
I never knew which way to run 
There's a hole in that screen door and now the dog's the only one 
Who's left 
I should probably get some sleep 
Cuz morning's coming soon and i'm the only who sees it 
This house has smelled like blood since i moved in 
I check on you from time to time, we're rotten fruit waiting on wine 

And oh, oh, oh 
Darling, how you've grown 
I don't believe my eyes 
Oh, oh, oh 
Darling, where'd you go? 
It's so damn cold inside 

I never wanted it like this 
Burn the house where i grew up so there's nothing left to miss 
Cuz i was born to be a star 
Set fire to all i touch until i'm all alone in the dark 
And you 
You've gotten smaller since before 
We both forgot to eat, we'd dance in kitchens until morning came 
Crashing down, helped you forget the night you stumbled out of 
Without a scratch, god, look at you 
So goddamn terrified of the truth 

And oh, oh, oh 
Darling, how you've grown 
I don't believe my eyes 
Oh, oh, oh 
Darling, where'd you go? 
It's so damn cold inside 

Oh, how you've grown, i don't believe my eyes 
Oh, how you've grown, i don't believe my eyes 
Oh, how you've grown, i don't believe my eyes 
Oh, how you've grown, oh, how you've grown, oh 

Days into weeks into years into minutes 
I think I could die soon, if you call this living 
You moved on so quick, I ain't think I was that easy to forget 
But what's it matter? Soon I'll die alone in this bed 
You used to call me angel, now I'm falling lower and lower into the abyss 
(GASP) I was just a kid, got no more time for innocence 

Oh, how you've grown, i don't believe my eyes 
There once was a garden here, all the flowers died 
Do you still think bout me? I know it's been some time 
Maybe I'll see you one day in the afterlife 

And oh, oh, oh 
Darling, how you've grown 
I don't believe my eyes 
Oh, oh, oh 
Darling, where'd you go? 
It's so damn cold inside 

And oh, oh, oh 
Darling, how you've grown 
I don't believe my eyes 
Oh, oh, oh 
Darling, where'd you go? 
I'll wait for you next time

oh, how you've grown, i don't believe my eyes

I CAN'T GO THRU THAT AGAIN

LYRICS:
I don't remember the last thing you said
I was running around in my head
And baby Ion rly need another friend
I can't I can't I can't UGH

I don't wanna go thru that again
I don't wanna die with my best friends
Woke up fucked up, when does it end
I can't go thru that again

Again and again, I been losing my mind
Like, when does it end? Feel like we ran out of time
(Woah-oh)
Do you remember forever
That's a lie, you change like the weather
And we got way too drunk in December
But I guess that's how it goes
Oh, oh, oh,  baby you can go
I've got no home, I'm all alone
I know we don't talk no more
Just step right up, enjoy the show
And I don't wanna go
But I will if I have to
And I thought that you should know
That I'm moving past you
And if everyone I loved was at a party
Then I damn sure wouldn't go
I'd stay alone, cuz nothing lasts forever
By now you should know

prod. @branwenmusic
mix/master by me
cover art shot by @dylancxle of @conflictingthoughts.us

ICGTTA 222 (branwen)

LYRICS:
Long distance calls
I remember it all
Sunsets last fall
We thought that this was all we needed
You believed it
I know looks can be deceiving
But I mean it, if you need me
I'll be right here, I'm not leaving
And I ain't wanna let you go
Now I'm alone
And it's the best day of my life
But baby, take it slow
Good at being on my own
I want what I can't have
I'm learning to put down my phone
And love what loves me back

Long long distance calls
And I don't miss you at all
I promised I'd never fall
Back in love with you and
Long long distance calls
And I don't miss you at all
I promised I'd never fall
But now I'm (Now-now-now-now I'm)

I'm faceless, trippin on the pavement
Got no heart so nothing's breaking
Ate some paper, break enslavement
Ace of Spades I'm wasted
(Woah-oh-oh-ooh)
We in different timezones
Baby, why you never kiss me with your eyes closed
I wanted to leave on a high note
And you said "we can still talk if you want," I don't
Took your picture off my lockscreen
Cut the chord, I hope you block me
Vow of silence, no more talking
I'm getting sick of all the

Long long distance calls
And I don't miss you at all
I promised I'd never fall
Back in love with you and
Long long distance calls
And I don't miss you at all
I promised I'd never fall
But now I'm finally moving on


prod. love, matt x chris marek

LONG DISTANCE CALLS

VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE8lSStWX0Q&ab_channel=T.Aubrey
LYRICS:I think it's fucked up, everybody's so numb
I don't like to talk much, razor blade on my tongue
Think I need a doctor, feel this shit in my lungs
I don't know who to call on, sick of all the fake love
I'm feeling like it's endless, tell me how it makes sense
I would ask a friend but I ain't go friends left
Cuz everybody's so fake, treat you like a throwaway
And you love the attention, so I ain't saying no names

Gave you my trust, you lost it
Sold my soul, you know I bought it
Waste of breath, why I'm not calling
Please forgive me, I'm not sorry
Gave you my trust, you lost it
Sold my soul, you know I bought it
Waste of breath, why I'm not calling
Please forgive me, I'm not sorry

So what? See me, I give no fucks
Why'd you even come here? Y'all ain't having no fun
Better if you go now, you say I sold out? Yeah, my whole tour now
VIP, but I remember getting thrown out
Drop this, no rollout, I'm still going past you
Numbers ain't real? Why they put you in a bad mood
Thought he could cut me, ain't know bout my tattoo
Sorry baby, I got bad news

Gave you my trust, you lost it
Sold my soul, you know I bought it
Waste of breath, why I'm not calling
Please forgive me, I'm not sorry
Gave you my trust, you lost it
Sold my soul, you know I bought it
Waste of breath, why I'm not calling
Please forgive me, I'm not sorry
prod. love, matt x chris marek

FORGIVE ME [VID IN DESC.]

Well I think everyone I love has turned against me
And i think everything you told me was a lie
And sometimes, I pretend like I don't see it
But I think, deep down, it must eat you up inside

And I know that I'm selfish, I'll tell you I'm sorry
But then I fuck it up again
I know you're trying to help but when you call
I know we can't be more than friends
If I'm not enough for you right now
Go ahead and leave
Cuz It's not getting any better
You can blame me if you want

Well I think everyone I love has turned against me
And i think everything you told me was a lie
And sometimes, I pretend like I don't see it
But I think, deep down, it must eat you up inside

And she said don't go
The nights get so cold
But I still ran away, I hate LA
Can't eat, my bones show
And I know that you're hurting
For that, I'm sorry
But I won't let you take it out on me
I won't let go of my hopes
Don't say it's just a dream

I think I should call it a night
I've been staring too long at this screen
If you wanna leave, you can go
It makes it easy for me

Well I think everyone I love has turned against me
And i think everything you told me was a lie
And sometimes, I pretend like I don't see it
But I think, deep down, it must eat you up inside

sometimes, i pretend like i don't see it

I haven't left this hole in weeks
Relive the same day on repeat
You're gone, there's nothing left except this letter
I take a pill and go to sleep
Watch my life play out on screens
It's been too long, okay whatever (Oh, oh, oh)
I've never felt so far away
When you're with him, I'm wide awake
Tell me love, does he do it better?
Think I'm running out of time again
Pack my bags, don't tell my friends
You must've known this won't last forever
But now I'm falling to pieces
I don't have a reason
You were all that I needed
Now I can't stop the bleeding (oh, woah)

I fell in love with someone I imagined you to be
I just wanna get some sleep

I can't talk about it right now, it takes a little time
I went everywhere with you, now I can't even go outside
I been talking to the devil, think for sure I'm gonna die
But maybe that's just fine, maybe that's just fine
Is it fun for you to make me feel like this? Don't fucking lie
Leave me lying on the tile while my veins are running dry
And I know that I'd do anything to fake it for the night
Just tell me that it's fine, tell me that it's fine

I'll just rot away inside, do the only thing I'm good at
They were never there for you, so don't you fucking look back
Wait until they see you on the stage, you can look 'em in the face
Show 'em everything they could've had
Now I talk when I want, I don't owe you a response
My replacement left, that's not my problem
Love me when I'm gone, then pretend you're better off
I got everything I wanted
I got everything I wanted
I have everything
(Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

I can't talk about it right now, it takes a little time
I told you that I loved you and you didn't seem to mind
I guess I'll leave you alone, just tell your friends I fucking died
I'm writing this about you to remember I'm alive
I fell in love with someone I imagined you to be
I just wanna get some sleep
Before I remember

I can't talk about it right now, it takes a little time
I went everywhere with you, now I can't even go outside
I been talking to the devil, think for sure I'm gonna die
But maybe that's just fine, maybe that's just fine
Is it fun for you to make me feel like this? Don't fucking lie
Leave me lying on the tile while my veins are running dry
And I know that I'd do anything to fake it for the night
Just tell me that it's fine, tell me that it's fine

it takes a little time

My veins try to hide, my body is chilling
Stop all the lies, I know you don't feel it
Tell me you care, then stare at the ceiling
I know I never meant shit to you, I'm dealing
I'm trying as hard as I can
Laying here shaking, it's barely a gram
I look in the mirror, don't know who I am
But that'll be over soon

Baby look in my eyes
Tell me again "it was only a night"
Tell me I'm nothing to you, I'll be fine
My head's in the clouds, I got lost in the lie-lie-lights
And love if I die
Know that you were the last on my mind
I'm fine, I'm not thinking of you, I can lie
Kiss him again while you're twisting the knife
I'll be alright

Tell me that you never meant it
Those beautiful nothings, I always regret 'em
You call me, but I'm not that strong so I dead it
I think I waited too long, whatever
I think I waited too long, whatever
Kiss him again while you're twisting the knife
I think I waited too long, whatever
Kiss him again while you look in my eyes

Baby look in my eyes
Tell me again "it was only a night"
Tell me I'm nothing to you, I'll be fine
My head's in the clouds, I got lost in the lie-lie-lights
And love if I die
Know that you were the last on my mind
I'm fine, I'm not thinking of you, I can lie
Kiss him again while you're twisting the knife
I'll be alright

kiss him again

prod. me x @thislandis

lyrics:
quick smoke in the yard
i never thought you’d come back home
you’re drunk in the car
that we borrowed from your father 
just sleep it off
and turn your mattress yellow
love, just keep the faith
you’ll get your fix tomorrow

find me at my pity party
blacking out on cheap white wine
find me passed out in the backseat
find me running out of time
find me at my pity party
blacking out, blacking out
just find me something to wash all this down
wash all this down oh woah-oh-oh

and i don’t wanna talk too much
before this pill kicks in, so it won’t hurt
and i don’t wanna wait all night
for a phone to ring just cuz u sound like her
and you’re telling me that it’s too late
and love’s just photographs and tramadol 
but i don’t wanna go back home
just to black out in this hallway again

and again

pity party

w/ @splashgvng

lyrics:

I'm so tired of falling in love
I tried giving a fuck
But every time
You just leave me waiting (on you)
I don't wanna wait in the dark
I wanna kiss in your car
But every time
You just watch me break (and it's too)
Damn much, so you
Get drunk, I'd let you
Suck my blood for
One more touch
But every time I'm getting close to the edge
You let me go again
And just when I think this is the end
You pull me back in
Just when I think this is the last time I'll see your face
i fall in love again, and then you fuck one of my friends

And it was so irrelevant
Worth less than nothing, I'll admit
We stayed up all night watching movies
You made me feel like a kid
And like a child, I was so scared of rejection
Unbroken mirrors make me hate my reflection
Oh, and now we're driving to your place
Volume, no talking, interstate
And when I left you at your house
You treated me like I'm nothing
I guess I've never been enough
Write songs 'til someone gives a fuck
But when you see me on the stage
Just look at me like I'm nothing

Overthink my emotions until nothing means anything
Trying to sleep, mixing Xanax and ketamine
And you left the day that I bought you a wedding ring
Take all you can while I'm giving you everything
And now there's a hole where my yearning should be
And Xanax ate most of my earnings this week
And I never felt so fucking lonely back east
But nostalgia's a liar, I'm grinding my teeth til I

BREAK MY JAW
Oh baby, take it off
I wanna break it all
But I'm so afraid of being nothing to you

JAWBREAKER w/ splashgvng

last night w/ GLXSGXW x roachspliff

LYRICS:

I'm too fucked up to be in public
Anxious at the function, got this feeling in my stomach
I see people dancing drunk, in a few hours they'll be fucking
But I'll go home alone and fall asleep; remember nothing
Baby, waking up is such a chore
I'm always high or else I'm bored
I gotta pick myself up off the floor
One day I'll see the world (and I'll see)

One day, I'll wake up and I won't have a headache
Chest pains, blame it on the drugs or on the heartbreak
Today, I woke up and I don't feel right
I guess I'll try again in the next life
One day, I'll wake up and I won't have a headache
Chest pains, blame it on the drugs or on the heartbreak
Today, I woke up and I don't feel right
I guess I'll try again in the next life

I don't wanna talk, I wanna end it, no discussion
Give me everything I wanted, I'll return it like it's nothing
Make it back tomorrow night and go to heaven in the morning
The devil's in the book, but I'm too good at telling stories
So I wake up, say a little prayer for all the dead ones
Take one, and stay the fuck away from all the fake love
Guess I'll make it through somehow
Tell me, darling, how soon is now?

I don't know what the fuck to call it
I'm always in withdrawal, I'm like a fucking alcoholic
But with you it's something special, I can tell that's why I lost it
I don't wanna talk, honestly, wish I went to college
Cuz I'm sick of all the run-around
You hate my guts, I hate this town
I hate the things I write about
Cuz soon we'll all be dead (but fuck it maybe)

One day, I'll wake up and I won't have a headache
Chest pains, blame it on the drugs or on the heartbreak
Today, I woke up and I don't feel right
I guess I'll try again in the next life
One day, I'll wake up and I won't have a headache
Chest pains, blame it on the drugs or on the heartbreak
Today, I woke up and I don't feel right
I guess I'll try again in the next life

ONE DAY

LYRICS:

I think I'm gonna run away from everything I thought I wanted
Got too high at the after party, then convinced myself it's not a problem
Nosebleeds, clean white sheets, i'm falling
Over old friends, let this end, so haunted
I'm too fucked up to call
Just know I'm thinking 'bout you all night long
All my dreams start coming true
But I can't do shit but think of you
I know I'm such a dick, I get in my moods
But I just never wanna see you again

I'm ready to let go
Treat me like I'm nothing
Conversations with my echo
Think I'm onto something
You can tell me I went too far
I got tired of running
Always hunting for a new war
Fuck it, keep it coming
I'm ready to let go
Treat me like I'm nothing
Conversations with my echo
Think I'm onto something
You can tell me that I'm too gone
Fuck it, ain't no roof on this
Gotta move on
Crawling out of this abyss

We’ve been too gone
did you ever really give a shit
Every time you said you loved me no I can’t forget
Nose bleeds in the back where I met you
(you said) how you’d die if I ever left you
Watch how the time goes
I been moving too slow 
And everyone around me off the drugs just trying to smile 
So I just watch the years go by, and try to take my life
Cus’ we’re just so distrusted by the same things 
That you see in me, every time you tell me that you hate me 
At the ceiling, staring til I’m losing all my feelings 
Can you hear, screaming I don’t think no one can hear me

I'm ready to let go
Treat me like I'm nothing
Conversations with my echo
Think I'm onto something
You can tell me I went too far
I got tired of running
Always hunting for a new war
Fuck it, keep it coming
I'm ready to let go
Treat me like I'm nothing
Conversations with my echo
Think I'm onto something
You can tell me that I'm too gone
Fuck it, ain't no roof on this
Gotta move on
Crawling out of this abyss

w/ @arkaeo
prod. love,matt x thislandis

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY ECHO w/ Arkaeo

LYRICS: 

Touch me, baby
Wanna feel you hurt me, love
Tell me that I'm not enough and I never was
Touch me, baby
Feel you hurt me, love
Make me feel like I'm enough

You give me vertigo, I swear you got me falling to pieces
I've been tryna hold it together, please just give me a reason
I don't know how the fuck to trust, cuz they just change like the seasons
I've been ripping out all the stitches. Call the doctor, I'm bleeding
And I've been drinking every night, I'm tryna keep it together
And I've been tryna go outside, I swear I wanna be better for you
And I know it'll all go wrong
But until then, just sing along

And touch me, baby
I don't wanna feel it anymore
I'm crazy
I feel like I was better off before
I'm jaded, get me wasted
Rest in peace inside this basement
And touch me, baby
I don't wanna feel it anymore
I'm crazy
I feel like I was better off before
I'm jaded, get me wasted
I don't wanna feel this anymore

I wish that we were closer
But it don't mean nothing at all
I'll get rich and you'll get sober
But it won't mean nothing at all
I've been alone for some time
And I've been having withdrawals
I'll say I love you 'til my voice gives out
It won't mean nothing

And touch me, baby
I don't wanna feel it anymore
I'm crazy
I feel like I was better off before
I'm jaded, get me wasted
Rest in peace inside this basement
And touch me, baby
I don't wanna feel it anymore
I'm crazy
I feel like I was better off before
I'm jaded, get me wasted
I don't wanna feel this anymore

prod. branwen

touch me 222

LYRICS:
Oh, so predictable
And oh, so sweet
Bit down on three points of molly
You were all over me
Oh, so predictable
Once love, now skin and bones
But they don't know
You're all alone tonight

And you've been the same since you were 16
I don't wanna talk, know you'll do it again
And I taste crushed pills when you kiss me
And I heard you on the phone with my best friend
Do you miss me? Tell me, do you miss me?
Cut up one more line when you're in town
Do you miss me? Tell me, do you miss me?
Do you fucking miss me at all?

Oh, so predictable
And oh, so sweet
Bit down on three points of molly
You were all over me
Oh, so predictable
Once love, now skin and bones
But they don't know
You're all alone tonight

You can ask if you wanna know
You told me to stay, I don't wanna go
Oh, hold on to
What I've got left of you (woah)
It's been too cold out to run around
But I'm just afraid I'll fuck it up somehow
I want you to fall hard and call on me
I'm somebody selfish that you don't need

Oh, so predictable
And oh, so sweet
Bit down on three points of molly
You were all over me
Oh, so predictable
Once love, now skin and bones
But they don't know
You're all alone tonight

w/ @vito2300 
prod. reesoo

loving you is self harm w/ VITO

lyrics:

When it all looks fucked, we just keep trying
We don't gotta talk about last night
And I been pretty good at breaking down
But I don't know how to act when it all goes right
I can't lie
I'm so sick I'm petrified
I feel stupid, it's so useless
I'm just sulking 'bout my life

But I think I'm onto something
No need for discussion
Wait until the drugs hit
I'm alive
And I don't know where to go from here
Do I disappear?
Do I fake it 'til I cry?

I'm gone
Miss me for a minute, then you'll all move on
Tell me why you look so sad. What did you want?
I'm sorry that I'm not what you expected
I wish I was worse at first impressions
Just lie
Tell me you don't love me anymore and that's fine
Tell me why I'm so down bad, baby you're mine
I'm sorry that I'm not what you expected
I wish I was worse at first impressions

Look into the mirror, I've been hating what I see
Look into the mirror, it's not me it's not me it's not me
Grinding my teeth
Feel like a monster so just let me bleed
Gotta get too high to function whenever I'm in public
Feel like I'm disgusting
Always too much 
Or not enough of something I can't describe
Feel I'm always locked inside your eyes 
(Oh-woah)
I've been falling in line
Ran out of places to hide
No matter how hard I try
I'm someone else to you

I'm gone
Miss me for a minute, then you'll all move on
Tell me why you look so sad. What did you want?
I'm sorry that I'm not what you expected
I wish I was worse at first impressions
Just lie
Tell me you don't love me anymore and that's fine
Tell me why I'm so down bad, baby you're mine
I'm sorry that I'm not what you expected
I wish I was worse at first impressions

I'm gone
Miss me for a minute, then you'll all move on
Tell me why you look so sad. What did you want?
I'm sorry that I'm not what you expected oh-woah-oh

Just lie-ie-ie-ie-ie-ie

prod. love,matt x chrismarek

keep trying

if u don’t forgive me, bby i won’t

prod. love matt x jkei

if you don’t forgive me, i won’t

ICGTTA (reprise)

all of the above

all of the above (feat. 4ever Falling)

all my love
these songs were written from Aug. 2017 to Apr. 2020
sequel to Love Letters
the Dead Girl can rest now
cover art by @yordansucks
follow SHIKI
@shikixo
LYRICS:
You really don't believe me
What's it take for you to see
I'll fucking kill you if you leave me
Keep your love inside of me
Knew you wouldn't ride for me
Least you could do is die with me
I keep your body in my bed
So I can finally get some sleep

Blood drip down onto my jeans
I'll fucking kill you if you leave
How you fucking everybody
But say you're in love with me
Wanna do all my drugs with me
Wanna spill all your blood for me
She wouldn't touch me, now I'm famous
So she wanna fuck with me

You really don't believe me
What's it take for you to see
I'll fucking kill you if you leave me
Keep your love inside of me
Knew you wouldn't ride for me
Least you could do is die with me
I keep your body in my bed
So I can finally get some sleep

They called the cops, I crashed the car
I'll fucking kill you if you leave
On broken legs, won't make it far
I'll fucking kill you if you leave
No one could love you like I love you
Fucking kill you if you leave
No one could love you like I love you
Fucking kill you if you leave

You really don't believe me
What's it take for you to see
I'll fucking kill you if you leave me
Keep your love inside of me
Knew you wouldn't ride for me
Least you could do is die with me
I keep your body in my bed
So I can finally get some sleep

Shiki XO

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