Decant the amarone, darling
We used to bump them in my
Ford Taurus back in '22
When you where
Still a grindcore shawty
You showed me Pass The Dad
And Savory John and
Carrot Blaster
Yeah
(We used to slip and slide)
And to this day
We be still
Slippin' and a' slidin'
Like never before

Now finally
Two years later
A new record
How we waited

So once again
We'll gather up
Whole family
In silky robes

They're really soft to the touch
Each one in a gender neutral hue

Oh no, somebody has made a mistake
At the record shop, this ain't Shovelfaxce
Somebody put the 2018 record
From Hoobastank, put it right up the wrong sleeve

This was a very unpleasant surprise
Hoobastank hasn't been good since '09
Honey go tuck the kinds in
We gon' spare 'em the trauma
Of hearing the expletives fly

I'm not a perfect person
I'm not a perfect person
But I won't subject my kids
To expletives and butt rock

Hold up!
Hoobastank's new stuff is decent

I was about to let 'em have it
Them doofuses
At the record store
Wait, hold up...?
Is doofuses in plural doofi?
Or something entirely different

Thank you for reigniting the flame
That is good ol' butt rock

Albeit poppy, their new stuff goes hard
I never thought they would make it this far
This album got me feelin' like a million bucks
Slippin' and slidin'
I'm slathered in lard

Family gathered up around the tree
Holiday season, it had me like bree
Decant the amarone, buckle up
'Cause we gon' listen to Hoobie discography

I'm not a perfect person
I'm not a perfect person
But today I got a little more perfect
And the reason is Hoob

Decant The Amarone, Darling. Shovelfaxce Just Dropped

Sweden's most successful Seinfeldcore band