Deathly Hallows chapter 11. We discuss expensive Zoom calls and the mysteries of faith, and then pick apart our relatively complex feelings on a chapter that has some of the best moments of the book so far, but also some of the worst. Finally, we explore some more old pre-book 7 ending predictions, and discover one so powerful it derails the entire segment.

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Episode 123: Cool Voice

Episode 124: KD/A With a break in the news cycle, we take a look at Funko pops and imagine a world where GRRM and JKR swapped places. Then we examine 'Magic is Might', a chapter that turns book 7 into a heist movie all of a sudden, simultaneously becoming the most entertaining and most baffling chapter so far. We even have a conspiracy theory to share about its origins... finally, we don our own heist disguises and begin casing the joint (reddit) in our quest to get into one of the house subreddits!

Episode 124: KD/A

Deathly Hallows chapter 17. Oh my god, an actually good chapter? It sounds too good to be true, but we had a blast reading this oddly self-contained story that starts as a spooky horror movie and ends with an outrageous and strangely endearing Voldemort sequence. We also learn all about The Butterbeer Bosses, engage with a listicle trying its best to navigate Harry Potter clickbait in a post-mask-off-JKR world, and more! Finally, we visit the Slytherin common room, which proves to be far more blessed than we could have imagined.

(mild content warning for the first segment: if a listicle bumbling through elements of the series' transphobia/racism/etc doesn't sound fun to you right now, start at 14:00!)

Episode 129: The Butterbeer Bosses

Deathly Hallows chapter 18. We discuss *inhales* the Vancouver billboard funded by hateful people riding a hateful billionaire's coattails, the initial  Troubled Blood review that got things kicking off this week, the continued Troubled Blood reviews from The Guardian that revealed how it's actually WORSE than the initial review made it sound, the pile of pre-existing Known Stuff about the Strike series, the misogyny and transmisogyny common in crime fiction  generally, the Fantastic Beasts filming news, and... the announcement of Harry Potter Skyrim. On top of all that, we have a completely out of pocket chapter that pushes the already-strained boundaries of our previously well-defined cast of characters to ludicrous levels in an attempt to tell a very (even for this book) ham-handed story about Harry's crisis of faith. Crisis of 'Braith, get it? Never mind.

It goes without saying but just in case:  content warning for All Of JK Rowling's Business, as well as the related  shit of classic fiction like Psycho and Silence of the Lambs and so on. If you want to skip the news segment, the chapter stuff starts at 1:14:15!

Episode 130: Crisis of 'Braith

Deathly Hallows chapter 19. We chat about JKR's t-shirt and the dogshit TERF-etsy she is boosting, contemplate the impending (perhaps already complete?) merger between radfems and the far right, and wonder if WB will ever actually do anything (they won't, but it's fun to think about). Then we go long on a chapter that feels like a story reaching its climax, but with all of the buildup completely missing--with multiple sexy holograms and a reveal of the Deluminator's function so baffling we once again have to extend our sympathies to the people who thought this book was fake when it leaked once upon a time. Finally, we try to roast a Harry Potter website "for serious readers" but ended up crashing it, so we check in with the Hogwarts Legacy subreddit instead to see how well they're managing their expectations for a licensed video game.

content warning: lots of unpleasantness discussing JKR's shirt and the heinous TERF store she is promoting--to skip straight to the book stuff, head to 50:45.

Episode 131: Deadpole

Deathly Hallows chapter 21. After checking in with Buzzfeed to see how they're handling Harry Potter clickbait these days, we finally learn all about the Tale of the Three Brothers: a wizarding world story so common, why, everyone knows of it! We also learn about a bunch of aphorisms and other cultural artifacts that surely anyone would recognize, because they've been part of the wizarding world this whole time and definitely not pulled entirely out of the author's ass just now.  Finally, we head over to reddit and quora for a grab bag of third segment goodies.

Episode 133: My Brother, My Brother, and Me

Deathly Hallows chapter 26. After our double-length news blowout last week, we don't have too much to cover this episode, save for some updated Fantastic Beasts casting rumors and some speculation about the general future of the franchise. Our chapter this week is another heist, during which Harry casts an unforgivable curse like ten times without anyone so much as blinking and a theatrical Death Eater tags along to make things more complicated until JK Rowling decided she couldn't figure out how to utilize him so just had him go hide in a corner. No, I'm not making that up, that's actually what happens. We also witness the EVIL PLANS of Griphook, whose plan to double-cross Harry is worse than Harry's plan to double cross him, for some reason. We also read another shockingly out of touch article from Pottermore that comes this close to realizing what's messed up about the Goblin stuff but misses spectacularly. Finally, we log into Jack Sloper's account and return to the associated subreddits to find a grab bag of cursed and delightful content.

Content warning stuff: the whole news section is dedicated to ripping on JKR and Johnny Depp (and Marilyn Manson) and if you don't fancy listening to anything to do with them directly, the chapter discussion starts at 34:47.

Episode 139: Guess I'll Die!

Deathly Hallows chapter 27. We're back! And we're calling Mads in to ask hey, c'mon, do you really need to be in a Harry Potter movie? Plus, some questions for the other actors who had a lot to say a few months ago. Then we theorize about what on earth this Frankenstein movie could possibly look like when it finally arrives in 2021 (or is it 2022?), what it could be titled, and who will allowed to be not-straight in it. 

Our chapter this week is a bit of filler, but we manage to squeeze a lot of discussion out of it since it really highlights a lot of frustrating omissions from this book, and tees up a plot to get things moving with ten chapters left to go. From Spyro dragons to evil house elves, we've got a lot of ideas. Finally, we check in with the Wizarding World's plans for Christmas 2020, and read a very sad listicle about Snape 😢

Episode 140: Thank You For Releasing Me

Deathly Hallows chapter 30. We ring in the new year with, no joke, one of the weirdest chapters in the entire series. A few of you warned us about this one (or else gleefully mentioned that something was coming) but nothing could have prepared us for what awaits here: somehow, a chapter even stranger, funnier, and more out of character than any of the previous chapters we've said similar things about. You're not going to want to miss this one: plus, a crash course in... Sonic lore?

Episode 143: Uncle Chuck Fancam

Deathly Hallows chapter 32. The Brand has a new hero! We wonder aloud what, if anything, this changing of the guard could mean--and then suit up to drop into the Battle of Hogwarts for another chapter filled to the brim with war movie tropes. Once the flashbang wears off and the sound comes back, it's off to the titular Shrieking Shack for a big speech from Voldemort, a snake floating around in a bubble shield, and the passing of one beloved professor. Finally, we play a game trying to identify Fantastic Beast quotes from a list of Mugglenet's "most memorable" scenes from the film--some of which are Nothing, and some of which are kinda eyebrow raising!

Episode 145: Memory Gooped

Note: this was recorded before the WHOM COULD HAVE FORESEEN news about the game--tune in next week for that one

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. We had an extra week to let this chapter sink in, but did it help? We try to parse the Matrix Revolutions chapter where Harry talks to a Dumbledore ghost inside his head who claims that this is all happening in Harry's imagination yet offers him and the audience a bunch of extremely literal answers with new information, and that's not even the weirdest part of this whole thing! We theorize what this could possibly be trying to say, what actually matters in the New Lore, what answers are missing, and whether or not we'd help a flayed monster creature lying on the ground. Finally, we return to the world of Imagines, and compete in an impromptu guessing game.

Episode 148: Orb Lore

Two lapsed Harry Potter fans on a journey back through the books they (used to) love so much. Updates every Friday!

Episode 140: Thank You For Releasing Me

The Shrieking Shack

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