“The author has ordered a pietà. That’s why *you* are here in the first place. So, Hagrid: hold Harry in your arms for a bit.”

also, like, for all voldemort knows, harry is...... a corpse. why would he even be trying crucio? there would be no functioning pain receptors and its not like it would inherently twist a corpse up

Deathly Hallows epilogue. We did it! We've crossed the finish line. While we still have the movie and more to cover, we're officially finished with the 7 books proper. Does the epilogue provide any emotional closure or worthwhile information to round out the rushed final chapter before it, or does it earn its fairly scornful reputation even among die-hard Harry Potter fans? Well, I'll give you a hint: immediately after the book came out JK Rowling started passing new and extra information out like candy in some interviews we read to supplement it. Finally, we do what all great podcasts must do: we rank stuff!

Episode 150: Epilogue? What Epilogue?

18.08.2021  - Cap. V - Bem Aventurados os Aflitos - Tormentos Voluntários (8)

Thou

Deathly Hallows chapter 6. We do a little bit of catching up with the fallout of last week's Rowling drama, and speculate on the future of Fantastic Beasts and the beleaguered Harry Potter At Home marketing initiative. Then we rip into another chapter of Deathly Hallows, which is definitely not better than the last few, but it certainly isn't boring! Finally, since we wish this book had been a big hoax, we investigate a theory from a week before the book's release that posited that the leak was actually a fake book written and released to... uh... well... hmm. JK's trick!

Like the show? You can support us on Patreon for bonus content and early episodes! www.patreon.com/shriekcast/

Follow us on Twitter @shriekcast

Merch: teespring.com/stores/dobbys-funeral-gift-shop

Episode 118: JK's Trick

Rebel against your liberal parents by embracing a conspiracy theory about a pedophile ring operating out of the non-existent basement of a D.C. pizza joint. But also join UK correspondent Annie Kelly for an exploration of Britain's more healthy version of Pizzagate, "Orangegate" — in which journalist Ash Sarkar gets accused of heinous things because she posted three orange emojis. Oh and pop star Robbie Williams may be falling down the rabbit hole. This is a very plentiful episode. Enjoy.

↓↓↓↓ SUBSCRIBE FOR $5 A MONTH SO YOU DON'T MISS THE SECOND WEEKLY EPISODE ↓↓↓↓
www.patreon.com/QAnonAnonymous

Merch / Join the Discord Community / Find the Lost Episodes / Etc: http://qanonanonymous.

Music by Matthew Delatorre (https://implantcreative.com), Dr.Ba$ement (https://doomchakratapes.bandcamp.com/album/dr-ba-ement-shit-vol-1), and Nick Sena (https://nicksenamusic.com)

///

SOURCES

Tiktok Teens:
https://www.thedailybeast.com/tiktok-teens-are-obsessed-with-pizzagate?ref=scroll
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/27/technology/pizzagate-justin-bieber-qanon-tiktok.html

Robbie Williams interviews:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UfvAV03MP8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oWqewTJvwE

Episode 98: Tiktok Teens ❤️ Pizzagate w/ Annie Kelly

Coffee shop owner Thomas Kinkade Jr. (@charlesraustin) and his baristas Jerome Durepois (@intellegint) and Joseph Rogan No Relation (@necrobranson) discuss their good fortune over the past six months and read some new poems.

Branson's new book, "Water, Wasted" is available for pre-order here: https://rarebirdlit.com/water-wasted-signed-by-alex-branson/

146 - Storytellers: A Java Journey

Deathly Hallows chapter 24. With absolutely nothing going on in the real world, we immerse ourselves in a backlog of Wizarding World news. Last week we watched the midpoint film; this episode, we continue reading the novel, and learn all about Harry's sudden discovery of labor as a political concept and (second? third?) bout of religious mania. Two paths diverge in a wood, and our hero must choose which order to talk to two C-list characters who will dump pages upon pages of very important lore and worldbuilding, as well as highlight some of the more collar-tug worthy instances of Meaningful Storytelling. Would it surprise you to learn that the house elf and goblin stuff in this series is still insanely fucked up? Can the fandom remember that the elves are literally slaves? Please?? 

Finally, we catch up with our hero, Spartan 117...

Episode 137: One Spinny Circle Later

Deathly Hallows chapter 29. Just when we thought this book had no surprises left, it hits us with one of the funniest chapters in the series. This one was written for us: it's full of so many things that feel like they were in-jokes written just for us, it's a little spooky. We also learn all about the Incredible Future of the Brand, do a little Christmas candle check-in, and solve a murder most foul!

Episode 142: The 10 Minute Brain Challenge

Deathly Hallows chapter 30. We ring in the new year with, no joke, one of the weirdest chapters in the entire series. A few of you warned us about this one (or else gleefully mentioned that something was coming) but nothing could have prepared us for what awaits here: somehow, a chapter even stranger, funnier, and more out of character than any of the previous chapters we've said similar things about. You're not going to want to miss this one: plus, a crash course in... Sonic lore?

Episode 143: Uncle Chuck Fancam

Note: this was recorded before the WHOM COULD HAVE FORESEEN news about the game--tune in next week for that one

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. We had an extra week to let this chapter sink in, but did it help? We try to parse the Matrix Revolutions chapter where Harry talks to a Dumbledore ghost inside his head who claims that this is all happening in Harry's imagination yet offers him and the audience a bunch of extremely literal answers with new information, and that's not even the weirdest part of this whole thing! We theorize what this could possibly be trying to say, what actually matters in the New Lore, what answers are missing, and whether or not we'd help a flayed monster creature lying on the ground. Finally, we return to the world of Imagines, and compete in an impromptu guessing game.

Episode 148: Orb Lore

Deathly Hallows chapter 35. This is it. This is the end of Harry Potter proper--sure, we still have to read an epilogue, but this is where the Story Ends! And what an ending it is. For a book this long, it sure sprints to a conclusion, and we're here in this bumper-length episode to do our best to pick up all of the threads it leaves hanging. When did Ron and Hermione stop being characters? Why does Wand Lore matter? Who are the Fallen Fifty? Is that too many or too few dead for a big epic battle? Do the renters of Hogsmeade show up? All this and much, much more, including the exasperating Hogwarts Legacy news. WHOM could have PREDICTED such a tragedy!? (If you don't feel like listening to the news, the chapter discussion begins at 32:00)

Episode 149: Shopkeepers & Homeowners

Two lapsed Harry Potter fans on a journey back through the books they (used to) love so much. Updates every Friday!

Episode 149: Shopkeepers & Homeowners

The Shrieking Shack

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