Do you know the difference between arguing and discussing? Conflict in a relationship will require some conversation about it, and we want to make sure you’re discussing issues with the goal of understanding one another.

Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business.

*Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/ePD6xFpJ_f4
*Now on YouTube: @shrink-think
*Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at:
https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast
--------------
*Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network*
https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

Shrink Think Podcast

223. Are You Arguing Or Discussing?

John & Julie Gottman founded the Love Lab at the UW in Seattle, WA which can predict with 94% accuracy whether a couple will stay together based on observing the first several minutes of their argument. The Gottmans discovered four relationship killers called “the four horsemen”; the first one being criticism. Criticism is when you attack the person or character rather than address the behaviors. The relationship antidote to criticism is a soft startup.

Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business.

*Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/2PUwgGAViUE
*Now on YouTube: @shrink-think
*Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at:
https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast
--------------
*Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network*
https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

224. Gottman’s Four Horsemen: Criticism

The second and most destructive of the four “horseman” that the Gottmans identify as a relationship killer is contempt. Contempt involves taking a one-up position of superiority and shaming the other person. The antidote to contempt is a culture of appreciation in the relationship. 

Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business.

*Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/QmOqghcAoOU
*Now on YouTube: @shrink-think
*Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at:
https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast
--------------
*Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network*
https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

225. Gottman’s Four Horsemen: Contempt

The third “horseman” of the relational apocalypse is defensiveness, usually as a response to criticism. Defensiveness is a form of self-protection from a perceived attack, usually from a place of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood. The antidote to defensiveness is accepting responsibility for your role in the conflict or situation.

Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business.

*Watch this episode: 
*Now on YouTube: @shrink-think
*Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at:
https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast
--------------
*Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network*
https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

226. Gottman's Four Horsemen: Defensiveness

The fourth and final of the Gottman “horsemen” is stonewalling-withdrawing and disengaging from the conversation to build a kind of “wall” between you and your partner. This usually comes from physiological overwhelm called “flooding,” where the stonewaller shuts down and chooses to disengage. The antidote to stonewalling is taking time to calm down and re-engaging.

Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business.

*Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/pZxY1vhhWlU
*Now on YouTube: @shrink-think
*Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at:
https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast
--------------
*Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network*
https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

227. Gottman’s Four Horsemen: Stonewalling

Why do some people just “talk talk talk” in a monologue in therapy? It could be that this kind of verbal processing is what they need to explore and understand what it is they think or feel, and the space given by a therapist facilitates it. If you’re not sure, having a conversation between therapist and client about this dynamic can help both of you understand each other and work together best.

Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business.

*Watch this episode: Visit our YouTube Channel
*Now on YouTube: @shrink-think
*Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at:
https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast
--------------
*Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network*
https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

The Shrink Think Podcast

228. Verbal Processing In Therapy

When you can give yourself compassion and tolerate your own emotional experiences, you can hold space for others and be present with their emotional experiences. This is a great skill that can transform your relationships and move conversations to what the real issues are.

Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business.

*Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/oDc_qXREIWk
*Now on YouTube: @shrink-think
*Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at:
https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast
--------------
*Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network*
https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

229. Tolerating Emotions

Some people view therapy as a “product” that can be “consumed” at any location, while others view it as a “service” that requires more of a “specialist.” Neither is right or wrong, but knowing what is being sought in therapy can help the client and therapist get on the same page and work together toward the same goals.

Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business.

*Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/JCv4p2cAuow
*Now on YouTube: @shrink-think
*Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at:
https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast
--------------
*Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network*
https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

230. Is Therapy A Product Or A Service?

The purpose of therapy is to learn more about yourself so you can make meaningful changes - to “get better.” Sometimes there are obstacles that can get in the way of that process, from both the therapist or the client. The right combination should be help you make progress, even if it takes some time to get there.

Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business.

*Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/cWs0lKBfyF8
*Now on YouTube: @shrink-think
*Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at:
https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast
--------------
*Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network*
https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

231. You Should Be Getting Better In Therapy

When you decide to go to therapy, it's usually because you've recognized something has become problematic in your life and it needs to change. Bringing this to a therapist for help is a good start, but assuming the therapist knows what you need can prevent you from taking ownership of your needs and directing sessions to meet your needs best.

Aaron Potratz & Nathan Hawkins are behavioral health experts, licensed counselors, and clinical supervisors with over 35 years of experience. They each own a private group therapy practice and co-own a third one together. Aaron is also a business consultant for therapists in private practice wanting to start, grow, or expand their business.

*Now on YouTube: @shrink-think
*Sign up for our FREE email course on overcoming fear and insecurity at:
https://www.shrinkthink.com/podcast
--------------
*Member of the PsychCraft Podcast Network*
https://psychcraftnetwork.com/

232. Don't Ask What To Do In Therapy

Welcome to the Shrink Think Podcast hosted by Aaron Potratz and Nathan Hawkins, two licensed counselors. With engaging, informative conversations and light-hearted humor, the Shrink Think Podcast aims to normalize and demystify therapy for those beginning or continuing their mental health journey; in short, to bridge the gap between clients and therapists.

Episodes are geared toward simplifying complex therapeutic concepts, exploring personal contributions and needs in relation to therapy, and both informing and empowering individuals to know what to expect from the process and their own therapist.

229. Tolerating Emotions

The Shrink Think Podcast

Related tracks