gbc III

i always liked how your hands looked
and not just in comparison to mine
they were an artists hands
calloused from building walls and
skin covered in clay that cracked as it dried
you see, i have two thoughts
before touching someones hands
are they soft? i hope not
not too soft
because four years ago i fell into a hole
so as soon as they touch
i wonder if they're strong enough
to help pull me to the top
and are they cold? god i hope so
because mine are so cold
that anytime someone touches them
they ask me if something's wrong
i know that most people have walls but
i just don't think mine are the same
you are hiding away
i am trying to escape
i am inside of a cave
trying to retain the memory
of the last time that i saw the light of the day
and i told you that where i am felt permanent
and you told me to give it time because nothing is
but the minute our hands touched i felt something click
because they were strong
with the force to dig your nails into the earth
and make the world suddenly stop
and they were cold
like the metal gears and glass casing
constructing a clock
and i know that i'm not moving fast enough
i know that so much time has already passed us up
and i know that it must be frustrating to stand in front
of someone who keeps promising you that they'll get better
without the evidence to back it up
but you have to trust me
the past is ugly
but i'll make it to the other side as long as i know
that when i get there i'll have somebody
please, i know that i can do this
i just need another half a month
i can pull through this
i just need our hands to touch

you said that you would always look for me in the crowd
with the same eagerness that a child sifts through the lost and found
searching for anything that felt missing
never considering what would happen the moment you stopped
as if the moment you're not looking for an object
is the moment it stops being lost
i get it, you were cold
but i wanted to be more than just a coat
clinging onto a body that i was never constructed to hold
or a mirror to look into when your reflection
stopped looking like a person that you know
i know that you know the feeling of new clothes
but do you know what it's like
to sit at the bottom of a box every night
replaying the fantasy of cold hands reaching inside
to take you home

you said you felt lost when you were found out
the death of our hands on your couch
was the birth of discovery
that someone elses hands
could feel cold
and in that sudden rush
i thought of all the hands
that could help me build a home
and none of them looked like yours

hands

on melancholy hill (gorillaz cover)

Written and Performed by Wicca Phase Springs Eternal
Produced by Clams Casino and Fish Narc

SPIDER WEBS

CAFFEINE

cut my skin on angel wings

FIRST SINGLE FROM MY ALBUM "AMITY" DROPPING 1/1/19 ON ALL PLATFORMS !!!!

produced by nedarb
mixed by lil lotus
mastered by nedarb

@brennansavage
@fantasycamp
@lilxlotus
@miseryclub
@smrtdeath
@horsehead1990
@lilzubin

BLAME ON ME (FT. BRENNAN SAVAGE, FANTASY CAMP, LIL LOTUS, JON SIMMONS, SMRTDEATH, HORSE HEAD, ZUBIN)

EAT ME ALIVE [INTERLUDE] (FT. ALICE GLASS)

amity

A FEELING (FT. HORSE HEAD, LIL LOTUS & JON SIMMONS)

HEAD OVER HEELS (FT. MACKNED, ZUBIN, LIL TRACY, FANTASY CAMP & YAWNS)

HOME ON TIME (FT. WICCA PHASE SPRINGS ETERNAL)

PATTERNS (FT. BRENNAN SAVAGE & DRIPPIN SO PRETTY)

I'VE HAD ENOUGH (FT. SLUG CHRIST, FANTASY CAMP & ZUBIN)

black roses [prod. lil soda boi]

bad person [prod. lil soda boi]

prod khail <3

art by @ gasolineandmemories on instagram

i've been sleepin alone
i'm dyin to know
why everybody's hittin my phone
they gettin the tone

and everybody's talkin that shit
but they wouldn't know
you ain't never talked to the kid
like how you think it would go

i'm so terrified
and i done lost all my hope
i'm so terrified

if you would press me for shit
and i'm like proof where it at
and you got nothin to show
then you'll be turnin your back

i get everything i work for
fuck you bitch i earned it
i might be a kid 
at least i'm grindin for a purpose

i might be nineteen 
at least i'm makin sure its workin
writing out my thoughts
 to clear my head from all the hurtin

i'm so terrified
and i done lost all my hope
i'm so terrified

he tells you he loves you then makes you cry
then you call me up cause you know i'm nice

but you fucked things up, now you fucked things twice
now you're on my mind, now you're all i write

now i'm in your head while you're in his bed
no i won't forgive now i can't forget

i'm so tired of wasting time
you're all i wanted but never needed

i'm so terrified
and i done lost all my hope
i'm so terrified

terrified (prod. khail)

sorry...


total isolation bad dream i'm a nightmare
frustration with myself keep my mind clear
looking at the mirror i can’t recognize
so sorry before i couldn’t empathize

i didn’t get it
don’t get too attached baby know that you’ll regret it
cause I hardly know myself
love your voice but i forget it
memories all on my shelf
haunting me but you won’t sweat it

I can’t have anyone stay
you threw shade now I’m feeling grey
hit my line I got more to say
its cliche but I’m not OK

we’re too different see the contrast
shitty days are in my forecast
saw ur invite I had to pass
in my mind I’m just an outcast
you were never loyal acting steadfast 

felt so real back then
i was sober for a minute flippin pac again
i forgot my meds prozac since when
imma blow up get the plaques from my pen

nightmare

stream

instagram @kooperhelms
Twitter @kooperhelms

paranoia

Paranoia (prod. Yasuu)

@xam @d1vv @karmarhythm

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5zdzLOREA83tH2ArEtiGJy
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/album/fighting-feat-d1v-single/1464238010
YouTube: https://youtu.be/BBvx2JlX0PY

[Verse 1: XAM]
I'm getting choked out by a diamond chain choker around my neck
While I'm walking in the rain one step closer to my death
Struggling to stay alive while I'm tryna find
My will to live but the time is running out - like my breath

"Don't go!"
"Don't leave!"
"Stay strong!"
"Believe!"

Those are the words they keep telling me
To keep me here

[Chorus] x2
But I got drugs in my veins
I can't remember my name
And I'm feeling insane
Dreaming of feeling alive once again

Fighting with the monsters hiding under my bed
Fighting on the phone with my imaginary friends
Fighting with the demons i got up in my head
Fighting with the thoughts in my brain

[Verse 2: D1V]
I'm so isolated, I'm stuck
I be with my team we run it up
Everybody think I'm done for
Doing all these drugs, now I'm going to the club

Only got my team left, that's why I got it tatted on me
Think they know my secrets thats why they trynna pull up on me
I don't want a girl cos they leave me in second
Swallow 5 pills or else I be stressing

Take your life for me would you do that
Got a broken heart would you glue that
I don't mind a thing if you leave me
Cos your better off without me

Chase my dreams
You don't really know me and It's better that you don't
When you said I'm wrong I didn't tell you cos I know
Drugs in my veins kill that pain

[Chorus]
But I got drugs in my veins
I can't remember my name
And I'm feeling insane
Dreaming of feeling alive once again

Fighting with the monsters hiding under my bed
Fighting on the phone with my imaginary friends
Fighting with the demons i got up in my head
Fighting with the thoughts in my brain

FIGHTING (feat. d1v) [Prod. XAM & KARMA RHYTHM]

fall against your wall (prod.irby)

Spotify

i swear im not like that anymore

prod. @cxldblxxd

lyrics:

never in my life did I think I'd cross paths with 
a girl as flawless as you
you're soaked in glamour
and I'm so enamored 
with everything that makes you 'you'
I know the feeling isn't mutual
it's rejection as usual 
I should just forget your name
but I think it's indisputable 
just how much you're fucking beautiful 
and I'm such a fucking lame
she's got a face like carly rae jepsen
I'd rate her a solid 11
she's an angel fallen from heaven
I'm just so enthralled by her presence
red hair like emma stone 
wishing she would call me on my telephone but
instead I'm left alone
it's so hard not to get lost in your blue eyes
it's happened to me a lot more than just a few times
your whole body glows like the moonlight
you knock me off my feet with your compassion
your creativity, your beauty and your fashion
it's more than I could ever have imagined 
I know the feeling isn't mutual
it's rejection as usual 
I should just forget your name
but I think it's indisputable 
just how much you're fucking beautiful 
and I'm such a fucking lame
I'm such a fucking lame
why am I such a lame?
on that dreary sad night
when I broke down and cried
you were there 
and I was blessed by your solicitude
words can't describe how much I value you
you're so angelic 
with dope aesthetic 
I'm so pathetic
broken and helpless
I was feeling a connection
now I'm knee deep in rejection
I was feeling a connection
now I'm knee deep in rejection
I'm knee deep in rejection

gbc III

@ShultzStephen