The Big Dirty

ahhh! fresh!

"The context:
I am alone. I am found. I died alone. I never thought I’d be found. I am overwhelmed by memories of a dystopian existence on a collapsing planet where evil took over and subsumed good. All of the kindness evaporated and was swallowed by greed. Memories of my past life occlude my consciousness causing confusion between modes of time like a mirage. Is it the past, present, or future? I can no longer tell.

A journey through being:
Confronted by the pain of knowing but trying to exist and embrace being in the world. Did I give up too quickly? Did I fail to change reality? What did I sacrifice in order to function and live a worldly existence like everyone around me? Blinded by hedonism, the collapsing of the mind and soul into the throws of desire left me empty. I gave up. I lost myself. I returned to the comfort of despair. It’s throbbing. To live without hope is to live in despair. Was there a reprieve from it all? Distractions, pleasure, and attachments turned into a vicious cycle of yearning and loss. Accepting impermanence with a half-open heart. It never got better. It just got worse. Functioning with an ever-growing sense of doom. And now I’m here. Alone. All I have are my memories. But existing in confusion from when these memories took place. Introspection with escapism outside of time. The vicious interplay between existence and non-existence. I am left with nothing."

Opening for Rrose at Smartbar, Chicago in June utilizing 4 CDJs and a V10 mixer.

@shantievanti
IG: @shantiism
https://ra.co/dj/shanti
https://youtu.be/QqfMYAyS8bM?si=iwapv-7i2LFIPNlG

Shanti has made textured waves in Chicago’s techno scene with her curation of dark, sinister, and ethereal soundscapes. Music has always been a means of coping with the otherness and hybridity Shanti experienced throughout her life. She has been deeply moved by the transcendent ability of music to express concepts, states of consciousness, and conflicting emotions. Shanti’s sets weave a story of the simultaneous despair and yearning that are intertwined with the human condition and illustrate an intentional trajectory through combining and cultivating surreal, atmospheric, and haunting sounds.

Enamored by the liminal dynamics of sound, she cohosts Otherworldly Ambiguity with Scum.ee –an experience that is centered around the phenomenon of existing in between and outside of pre-existing concepts and rigid categories. She is also a member of techno collective Research & Development and hosts a monthly radio show, “Liminal Radio” on WIIT 88.9 FM featuring thoughtful artists at the core of Chicago’s underground music scene. Shanti has had the privilege of warming up and closing out dancefloors for incredibly inspirational artists such as Rrose, DJ Nobu, Ø [Phase], Aurora Halal, Mozhgan, Lady Starlight, Black Light Smoke, Esther Dune, Zenker Brothers, Noncompliant, Xtin, and more. She has had the immense pleasure of conjuring spirits at Chicago’s most beloved clubs such as Smartbar, Smoke & Mirrors, Podlasie Club, and several underground gatherings.

Experiencing music outside of the confines of a club or the underground is extremely important to Shanti as she had initially discovered her favorite artists through online podcasts and radio. The universalizability of podcasts and radio enable music to be experienced by more humans situated in different contexts. This is why she has contributed to many notable online mix series and radio channels. Her mixes have been featured on The Black Lodge Radio, SutroFM, Mutant Radio, PPRZ, Death Decay & Magic, Braid Records, Low Visibility, Dance All Day, and m50’s etc radio among other podcasts and shows. This past year, Shanti has expanded her surreal storytelling beyond Chicago by playing in Amsterdam, LA, Detroit and notable Midwest festivals such as Minnesota’s The Great Beyond and Madison’s Musique Électronique. This Halloween, she will be playing at Chicago’s notoriously dark music festival, Sanctum.

Distant Signals 084: Shanti

🌐 Refuge Worldwide is a radio station and community space based in Berlin-Neukölln.
➡️ More info, more music: www.refugeworldwide.com

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RAGGA NYC - Sydfalls - 06 Oct 2025

1.
Pegasus Reloaded 04:27
2.
White Wine 02:03
3.
Auroras Zombie Black 05:21
4.
Machine 101 09:02
5.
Tyranny of Mass Genocide 02:44
6.
Suicidal Thoughts While Fine Dining 02:15
7.
Stalker 09:30
8.
Fuc#ed is A Gossip Girl 06:30
9.
Heaven Rain on ME Demo 06:32
10.
Lubeck Reprise 05:09
11.
T T Tyrant 04:00
12.
Machine 202 02:51
13.
VERRUCKTER! 05:47
14.
eye 00:29
about
Unlock “The Diana “ A headspace,,,where all that glitters isn’t gold——yet all silver linings shine of bliss…intertwining mere principalities of royalty & disassociation,, finding common ground between each of us becomes irrelevant in “The Diana” Reflective Reproduction is an mitochondrial abnormality,,,, a facade of Social Squalor is no different than the stillness stemming from it’s black humble abode.
credits
released October 14, 2025

The Big Dirty

SIDAKA

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