Chaotic Confusion

This is a collection of songs I have written.

My Songs / Fy Nghaneuon

Have you ever gone somewhere and forgotten why? If so, this song is for you. I wrote it in October 2022.

Here are the words:

What did I come in here for?
Something important I'm sure
Something to fetch or find
Oh what did I come in here for? 

What did I come in here for?
I forgot as I came through the door
I cannot remember, I cannot recall
Oh what did I come in here for?

What did I come in here for? 
This has happened at times before
I need a clue to get out of this stew
Oh what did I come in here for?

What did I come in here for? 
What did I come in here for? 
Just let me think and I'll get it
Ah, that's what I came in here for

Whimsiful Nonsense

What Did I Come In Here For?

This is a little song that came to me one night in March 2023.

Here are the words:

What do you do when the world's all askew
and everything's out of its place?
Nothing is right and try as you might
You just can't stand the pace.

Chorus
Upside-down and downside up
Back to front and front to back
Inside out and outside in
It puts you in a spin.

What do you do when your life's in a stew
and nothing is going your way?
It's all too much to handle or touch
And you don't know what to say.

What do you do when you're feeling blue
and nothing makes any sense?
Maybe a song or a smile will help
to make you feel less tense.

Welsh Chorus
Dibyn-dobyn, dobyn dibyn
Igam-ogam, ogam-igam
Miga-moga, moga-miga
Mae popeth o ei le

The Hedgehog Understands

Dibyn-dobyn / Upside Down

This is a song I wrote in June/July 2025 for no particular reason. It plays with the word discombobulation, which means an embarrassing feeling that leaves a person confused, or a confused or disorderly state, and was coined in the USA some time in the early 19th century.

This recording features me on vocals, guitar, cavaquinho, descant recorder, tenor recorder and (GarageBand) drums. Here are the words:

Discombobulation
is causing consternation
and fueling frustration
among the population

Much misinformation
and devious deception
creeps like a conflagration
across the whole nation

There's a lot of lamentation
and not much motivation,
and a deep disinclination
to solve the situation

Cool cooperation
and calm communication
and deft determination
can cause combobulation

By the way, combobulation means the opposite of discombobulation; i.e. means an orderly, composed, organized state.

See also: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/discombobulate#English
https://www.omniglot.com/radio/?p=4024

Discombobulation

This is a little ditty I came up with in April 2012 which incorporates the old Cumbrian sheep scoring numbers and a bit about their history. I first discovered these numbers in a book about Cumbrian dialect in Lancaster library one day many years ago. The numbers I use here come from Keswick in Cumbria. There are many other versions from all over England, Wales and Scotland.

This recording was made in April 2018, and features tenor, baritone, soprano and sopranino ukuleles, and sheep noises from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3c0JgZ59QQ

Here are the words:

When you get to jiggit
A long time ago in a land not so far away
The shepherds did count their sheep in this way
And the children did use these numbers in their play
And this is what they'd say.

Yan, tyan, tethera, methera, pimp
sethera, lethera, hovera, dovera, dick
yanadick, tanadick, tetherdick, 
petheradick, bumfit, yanabumfit, tanabumfit, 
tetherabumfit, petherabumfit, jiggit.

And when you get to jiggit put a stone in your pocket
a stone in your pocket
a stone in your pocket
When you get to jiggit put a stone in your pocket
a stone in your pocket
So you know how many jiggits you've got.

The last remaining fragments of long-forgotten Celtic tongues
That's what they're thought to be.
Collected mainly during the 19th century
In many parts of the north country.
And they go ...

Yan, tyan, tethera, methera, pimp
sethera, lethera, hovera, dovera, dick
yanadick, tanadick, tetherdick, 
petheradick, bumfit, yanabumfit, tanabumfit, 
tetherabumfit, petherabumfit, jiggit.

And when you get to jiggit put a stone in your pocket
a stone in your pocket
a stone in your pocket
When you get to jiggit put a stone in your pocket
a stone in your pocket
So you know how many jiggits you've got.

When You Get to Jiggit

When you get to jiggit

I came up with this song in July 2012 while pondering the phrase ‘my hovercraft is full of eels‘, as you do, and thinking what other things might be filled with animals. That phrase doesn’t feature in the song, but there are plenty of other similarly useful phrases in it.

The song is about those who cause chaos wherever they go. I haven’t identified any particular people, but you probably know one or two like that, or maybe you’re one of them.

This recording was made in July 2025. It features me singing and playing the baritone ukulele, and high and low whistles. The images were made with Microsoft Designer.

Here are the words:

The attic is overflowing with ardvaarks
The bath is brimful of baboons
The curtains are covered in custard
And mustard drips from all the spoons

The table is teaming with turnips
And the potatoes are eyeing the peas
The cushions are crammed with cream crackers
And the cat’s eaten all of the cheese.

There are dogs playing poker in the pantry
And smoking fine Cuban cigars
And as soon as they run out of money
They’ll be racing around in toy cars

The sink is swimming with penguins
And the fridge is flowing with fudge
There are ferrets fooling around in the cellar
And the carpets have turned to sludge

I should have learnt my lesson
I should never have left them alone
I only popped out for ten minutes
And look what they’ve done to my home

Wherever they’ve been there is chaos
And wherever they are there is more
I only popped out for ten minutes
And now I can’t get through the door.

Chaos / The Tidy Person's Lament

This is a song I wrote in March 2012 inspired by the phrase 'the elephant in the room'. It's about taking metaphors too seriously. It started as a poem, inspired by a poetry workshop I went to, and become this song. It was the first song I'd ever written.

This recording was made in November 2023. All the sounds you hear are made by me and my baritone ukulele. The photo is of the elephant hand puppet that lives in my living room, although we don't mention her.

Here are the lyrics:

There's a matter we must discuss
But I don't want to make a fuss
It's an issue we must address
But I don't want to cause any stress.

There's an elephant in the room
You've noticed, I assume
She's rather large and grey
And getting in the way.

It's so obvious to me
Oh why you can't see
We need to sort this out
And there's no need to pout!

Now the elephant's in the hall
Painting pictures on the wall
Of dragons and ships and trees
And great big bumblebees.

We must find a way
We can't let her stay
I'll go and call the zoo
To see what they can do

Now the elephant's on the stairs
Playing scrabble with the bears
Who live under chairs
And like to wear blue flares.

The zoo say they can give her
A nice place to stay
And we can go and see her
And we never have to pay.

Now the elephant's in the zoo
Making friends with the kangaroos
And delighting all the kids
By juggling dustbin lids.

The Elephant Song / Cân yr Eliffant

A little ditty that came to me in December 2012 while standing at my kitchen sink, doing the dishes and looking out the window at the rain. The photo is one I took of Bangor High Street on a rainy Wednesday in November 2017.

Here are the lyrics:

When the rain falls from the sky
Don’t you fret, don’t you cry
Just put on your boots and go outside.
Jump in puddles and go wild.
And release your inner child.
Then you won’t feel so blue any more.

When the temperature is falling
And the weather is appalling
It’s good to stay indoors sometimes.
To read a book, or watch a film
To sing a song, or play some tunes
Or just to sit by the fire and doze.

So when the winter time has come
And you’re feeling rather glum
Don’t forget to smile and sing and dance.
Paint some pictures, bake some cakes
Talk to friends, skate on lakes,
And make the most of it while it lasts.

Make The Most Of It While It Lasts

A happy little song I wrote in December 2012. Here are the words:

Wherever you go, whatever you do,
There are adventures waiting round the corner for you.
So open your eyes, your ears and your mind,
And you might be surprised by what you find.

Watch the birds, bees and flowers, 
Not the minutes and hours
And take time to think and wander and dream.
Let go your regrets and worries and frets
And let your heart fill with joy.

Everyday Adventures / Anturiaethau Beunyddiol

This is a song I wrote in November of 2020. It concerns the eternal search for thingamigs, whatsits, gizmos and other assorted whatchamacallits.

This recording features me singing all the parts and playing the piano, cavaquinho and guitar. While writing it I put together a page of words like thingamajig in many different languages at: https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/thingamajig.htm

Here are the words:

Oh have you seen the thingamajig?
I had it a moment ago
But then I put it down and now I can't find it
Oh where has it gone, do you know?

Chorus
It's gone, it's gone, I can't find it anywhere
It's gone, it's gone, it cannot be found
It's gone, it's gone, it must be somewhere
Oh where has it got to that thingamajig?

You know the one that looks like a wossname
With red doodahs on the top
We bought it last year in that shop with the gizmos
Down by the whatchamacallit

Songs of Solitude

Thingamajig

I write songs and tunes, play a few instruments, and like singing. To earn a living I run a website about languages and alphabets (Omniglot). I also make a podcasts about words and language on Radio Omniglot.

Discombobulation

Simon Ager