This is a song I came up with in May 2021 inspired by wierd and wonderful phrases that come up on Duolingo. A little green owl, known as Duo, is the logo of Duolingo. The day I wrote it (23/05/21) also happened to be the day my Duolingo streak reached 1,400 days.

Here are the words:

The little green owl once said to me
Why don't you sit down under my tree
I can teach you things that'll make you smile
So sit and listen for a while

Let's talk about penguins and bears that sing
About dogs and ducks and pieces of string
Some of this might be a little crazy
But that helps it stick inside your brain

The moon is yellow 'cause it's made of cheese
Did the blackbirds find the seagull's keys?
The hedgehog puts meatballs in the pan
The bear can't dance but the little duck can

Oh why is your pink cat wearing that hat?
Where's all the butter and is that your bat?
Such a fish does not drink any beer
And the rhinoceros has nothing to fear

That little green owl has taught me a lot
About elephants and badgers and dragons hot
The more you learn the more fun it'll be
If you just keep at it you will see

Some Songs

The Little Green Owl

When a Dutch friend sent me some silly phrases in Welsh about Owen and his parsnips from the Duolingo Welsh course, I was inspired to write this song. I wrote it in July 2021, and made this recording in July 2022.

Pan mi anfonodd ffrind o'r Iseldiroedd rhyw ymadroddion gwirion yn y Gymraeg am Owen a'i banas o gwrs Cymraeg ar Duolingo, mi ges i fy ysbridoli i sgwennu'r gân ma.  Mi wnes i sgwennu hi ym mis Gorffenaf 2021, a mi wnes i gwneud y recordiad ma ym mis Gorffenaf 2022.

Here are the words:

Pannas Owen (Owen's Parsnips)

Cyrfa (Chorus)
O lle mae pannas Owen? (Where are Owen's parsnips?)
Lle mae pannas Owen? (Where are Owen's parsnips?)
Lle mae pannas Owen? (Where are Owen's parsnips?)
Does neb yn gwybod. (Nobody knows)

Ydyn nhw yn y gegin? (Are they in the kitchen?)
Ydyn nhw efo'r dewin? (Are they with the wizard?)
Ydyn nhw yn y felin? (Are they in the mill?)
Does neb yn gwybod. (Nobody knows)

Ydyn nhw yn yr oergell? (Are they in the fridge?)
Ydyn nhw yn y tegell? (Are they in the kettle?)
Ydyn nhw yn y lyfyrgell? (Are they in the library?)
Does neb yn gwybod. (Nobody knows)

Ydyn nhw ar y to? (Are they on the roof?)
Ydyn nhw dan glo? (Are they locked up?)
Ydyn nhw'n crwydro? (Are they wandering?)
Does neb yn gwybod. (Nobody knows)

Ydyn nhw yn y coeden? (Are they in the tree?)
Ydyn nhw yn yr awyren? (Are they in the plane?)
Ydyn nhw yn y gacen? (Are they in the cake?)
Does neb yn gwybod. (Nobody knows)

Whimsifully Odd

Pannas Owen (Owen's Parsnips)

This is a little song that came to me one night in March 2023.

Here are the words:

What do you do when the world's all askew
and everything's out of its place?
Nothing is right and try as you might
You just can't stand the pace.

Chorus
Upside-down and downside up
Back to front and front to back
Inside out and outside in
It puts you in a spin.

What do you do when your life's in a stew
and nothing is going your way?
It's all too much to handle or touch
And you don't know what to say.

What do you do when you're feeling blue
and nothing makes any sense?
Maybe a song or a smile will help
to make you feel less tense.

Welsh Chorus
Dibyn-dobyn, dobyn dibyn
Igam-ogam, ogam-igam
Miga-moga, moga-miga
Mae popeth o ei le

The Hedgehog Understands

Dibyn-dobyn / Upside Down

This is a little song I wrote in August 2023. Here are the lyrics:

Farewell, Farewell
It's time to go
Goodbye, Goodbye
It's time to fly
So long so long
It's time to run
So find your goat
And get your coat

Cheerio, cheerio
It's the end of the show
The bell has rung
And the large lady has sung
The curtains are down
And seats are up
So find your  toad
And hit the road

Toodle-oo, toodle-oo
No time to stew
Just slip away
You cannot stay
Go well, stay well
It's time to yell
Take care, take care
Wherever you go

See you later 
alligator
In a while
crocodile
See you soon
Big blue baboon
Walk out the door
Dinosaur

Farewell

This song came to me in August 2023 when I was playing with words related to stuff and nonsense. This recording features me singing and playing the baritone ukulele. The chords are Bm, Fm and Em.

Here are the lyrics:

There's so many people
With so much to say
No matter what you do
They'll say it anyway 

It's all stuff and nonsense
With not a fact in sight
They spout it all day
And all through the night

Truth doesn't matter
Research is a waste
Lies are more juicy 
And more to their taste

Don't be fooled by hogwash
By piffle and by tosh
It's all a load of humbug
Spouted by the posh

They'll reel you in
They'll convince you it's true
And if you believe them
You'll be in a stew

Stuff and Nonsense

This is a song I wrote in September 2023 inspired by some of the silly phrases that come up in the Scottish Gaelic lessons on Duolingo. It's in the style of a waulking song, a type of song that was traditionally sung in Scotland while women were waulking tweed cloth. This involved pounding it on a table to shrink it and make it more watertight. Songs helped pass the time and gave a rhythm to the work.

Here are the words:

Tha spùinneadairean-mara ann am Port Rìgh 
Ruith air falbh, ruith air falbh 
Tha guga aca is iad ga ithe
Ruith air falbh an dràsta fhèin 

There are pirates in Portree
Run away, run away
With the salted gannet they like to eat
Run away right now

Tha Niseag ag òl IRN BRU
Ruith air falbh, ruith air falbh
Is dannsaidh i san talla a-nochd
Ruith air falbh an dràsta fhèin 

Nessie is drinking IRN BRU
Run away, run away 
And she'll dance in the hall tonight
Run away right now

Tha bradan beag anns a' drathair 
Ruith air falbh, ruith air falbh 
Is buntàta bòidheach air a' bhàr
Ruith air falbh an dràsta fhèin

There's a small salmon in the drawer
Run away, run away
And an pretty potato on the bar
Run away right now

Tha leòmhainn a' leum ann an Leòdhas 
Ruith air falbh, ruith air falbh
Is tha Leagsaidh leisg ri a leannan
Ruith air falbh an dràsta fhèin

A lion is leaping in Lewis
Run away, run away
And lazy Lexy is with her lover
Run away right now

It can be sung in one or other of the languages, or in both, as I do in the recording.

Ruith Air Falbh / Run Away!

This is a little ditty I came up with in October 2023 based on the saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence'.

Here are the words:

The Other Side
The grass is greener
or so it seems
and the sun never sets
at least in your dreams

Chorus
On the other side
On the other side
Things seem better 
on the other side

The trees look taller
from where you stand
and problems seem smaller
and everything's grand

Chorus

Over on your side
of the tracks
the things you have
might be things I lack

But the things I have
might be things you want
and we're rarely happy
with the things we've got

Chorus

Things may seem
so fine and dandy
and the weather's great
and the shops are handy

But it's all a matter 
of what you see
what's ordinary to you
might be special to me

Chorus

The Other Side

This is a song in the style of a sea shanty that I came up with in May 2024 for no particularly reason. 

Here are the words:

On a wet and windy day in the month of May
We set sail across the bay
In fine sailing ship called the Bonnie Bonnie Bee
Filled with cake and rum and cats and tea

Chorus
Horo we're off to sea
To see what we can see and be
Horo we're sailing free
in the Bonnie Bonnie Bee

We sailed across the seven seas
and ate lots and lots of cheese
We sailed on rivers and on lakes
and ate lots and lots of cakes

We moored in bays and coves and ports
and met folks of many sorts
We found things to marvel at
and bought many many hats

We sailed through many a fierce storm
and sought places nice and warm
We found a few and stayed a while
which really made our captain smile

One day soon we'll cease to roam
and return to our distant home
but until that day we'll sail along
and try to stay strong

The Secret Herring

Off To Sea

I wrote this song in August and September 2024 inspired by some rather heavy rain that we enjoyed during that time.
 
Here are the words:

When cats and dogs fall from the sky
And you don't know the reason why
Don't you worry, don't you cry
It won't last forever, and that's no lie

Chorus
It's just a bit of precipitation
and not a cause for consternation
It might be a reason for celebration
And that's no exaggeration

When the heavens open and the rain pours down
Don't you fret, don't you frown
Just seek some shelter and wait awhile 
And before you know it the sun will smile

When it's raining ropes or frogs or fish
And things aren't going as you'd wish
There's no need to sob and no need to sigh
Just wait it out somewhere dry

When it's pelting, tipping or bucketing down
and you feel like you're going to drown
An umbella can help to keep you dry
Unless it's windy then you might fly

See idioms for heavy rain in many languages: https://www.omniglot.com/language/idioms/rain.php

Cats & Dogs

Cats and Dogs

This is a song I wrote in October 2024 about all the pesky terms &  conditions that few of us ever read, and even fewer understand.

Here are the words. The chords are Dm, A and Gm.

Terms & conditions apply,
and with them you must comply.
You've ticked the box, 
you've signed your name,
you've read them all, or so you claim,
but we all know that's a lie,
and terms & conditions apply.

If the things that we supply,
harm you or make you cry.
You could complain, 
but it's such a pain,
and would be in vain, and drive you insane.
So why go to the trouble and try,
as terms & conditions apply.

If it's bad or falls apart,
or won't even start.
It's not our fault,
so don't blame us,
as to make a fuss would be superfluous,
as terms & conditions apply,
and with them you must comply.

Terms & conditions apply,
and should you fail to comply,
we can take car,
we can take your house,
we can take your kids and pets and spouse,
we can take your hopes,
we can take your dreams
we can take your plots, your plans and schemes,
we can take your ambitions,
we can take your goals,
and we can even take your very soul,
as terms & conditions apply,
and with them you must comply.

We hope you have nice day,
and everything goes your way,
but if nothing works,
and it drives you beserk,
there's nothing we can do, other than smirk,
as terms & conditions apply,
and with them you must comply.

Terms & Conditions

This is a song I started working on in November 2024 and finished in March 2025. It was inpsired by hearing a friend talking about llamas and pyjamas, as you do. In the recording, I accompany myself on the baritone ukulele using the chords A, D and E.

There are llamas in pyjamas
on a beach in the Bahamas
eating blue bananas
and sitting in the sun 

There are alpacas with maracas 
down in old Caracas
eating cream crackers
and having lots of fun

There are crocs in frocks
Sitting on the rocks
knitting lots of socks
and eating all the buns

There are gators in craters
who will see you later
waltzing with waiters
and drinking all the rum

There are turtles in tutus
chugging round in choo-choos
and eating fried fufus
until the day is done

Llamas In Pyjamas

This is a little song I started writing in November 2024, and finished and recorded in March 2025.

Here are the words:

Chorus
What are you waiting for?
Oh What are you waiting for?
Just walk through the door
and go and explore.
Oh, what are you waiting for?

If you're waiting for the right time 
If you're waiting for the right rhyme,
you'll be waiting a while
and it could be a trial
so why not go for it?

If you're waiting 'til you're ready
and everything's good and steady
you may never start
to do what's in your heart
but that would not be smart

Maybe you will fail
or maybe you will fly
but you'll never know
unless you go with the flow
and put on the very best show

What Are You Waiting For?

This is a silly little song I wrote in May 2015 inspired by the phrase 'la plume de ma tante' (my aunt's quill), which apparently appeared in old French language textbooks as a illustration of how the letter a is pronounced in different words in French. The current recording was made in October 2017.

Here are the lyrics and a translation:

La Plume de Ma Tante

Refrain
Où est la plume de ma tante ?
Dis-moi si tu sais où elle est.
Je l’ai vu ce matin je pense,
Mais maintenant elle a disparu.

Ce n'est pas sur la chaise de mon oncle,
Et ce n'est pas sous la table non plus.
Ce n'est pas dans le piano de mon grand-père,
Et ce n'est pas dans le seau de ma sœur.

Refrain

Ce n'est pas dans le frigo de mon frère
Et ce n'est pas dans sa poche non plus
Ce n'est pas dans le manteau de ma grand-mère,
Et ce n'est pas entre le marteau et l’enclume.

Refrain

Ce n'est pas derrière la dinde
Et ce n'est pas au-dessus du dromadaire
Ce n'est pas dans la piscine de mon papa
Et ce n'est pas dans le nez de ma nièce.

Refrain

My Aunt’s Quill

Chorus
Where is my aunt’s quill?
Tell me if you know where it is.
I saw it this morning, I think,
But now it has disappeared.

It’s not on my uncle’s chair,
And it’s not under the table either.
It’s not in my grandfather’s piano,
And it’s not in my sister’s bucket.

Chorus

It’s not in my brother’s fridge
And it’s not in his pocket either.
It’s not in my grandmother’s coat
And it’s not between the hammer and the anvil.

Chorus

It’s not behind the turkey,
And it’s not over the dromedary.
It’s not in my dad’s swimming pool,
And it’s not in my niece’s nose.

Chorus

The expression 'entre le marteau et l'enclume', which literally means "between the hammer and the anvil", is the French equivalent of the English expressions 'between a rock and a hard place', and 'between the devil and the deep blue sea' - i.e. in a difficult situation.

La Plume de ma Tante

This is a song I wrote and recorded in June 2025 based on the phrase 'pie in the sky', which refers to something unobtainable, and comes from a 1911 song by the American labour leader Joe Hill (1879–1915), which includes the line: ‘Work and pray, live on hay, You'll get pie in the sky when you die’. https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/pie+in+the+sky

Here are the words:

If you fly up high
and open your eyes
you might just spy
some pie in the sky

At the end of the rainbow
you might just find
a pretty pot of gold
or so I've been told

If you search here and there
and everywhere
you might just snare
a castle in the air

Whatever you seek
Wherever you peek
You might just see
something unique

So open your eyes
and your ears and your mind
cause you never know
what you might find
cause you never know
what you might find

Played on the baritone ukulele, high and low whistles and the bodhrán. All parts sung / played by me. The chords are C, F and G

Pie In The Sky

This song is about minding gaps that I wrote in May 2025. You can hear announcements advising you to 'mind the gap' on trains and stations in the UK, especially on the London Underground.

Here are the words: 

Mind the gap
between the train and the platform
Mind the gap
between the plane and the ground
Mind the gap
between the boat and the dock
Mind the gap
between the cart and the horse

Chorus
Mind the gap, oh mind the gap
oh mind the gap, oh mind the gap
Mind the gap, oh mind the gap
Oh please do mind the gap

Mind the gap
between here and there
Mind the gap
between this and that
Mind the gap
between day and night
Mind the gap
between now and then

Mind the gap
between dreams and reality
Mind the gap
between needs and wants
Mind the gap
between fact and fiction
Mind the gap
between truth and lies

Mind The Gap

This is a song I wrote in June/July 2025 for no particular reason. It plays with the word discombobulation, which means an embarrassing feeling that leaves a person confused, or a confused or disorderly state, and was coined in the USA some time in the early 19th century.

This recording features me on vocals, guitar, cavaquinho, descant recorder, tenor recorder and (GarageBand) drums. Here are the words:

Discombobulation
is causing consternation
and fueling frustration
among the population

Much misinformation
and devious deception
creeps like a conflagration
across the whole nation

There's a lot of lamentation
and not much motivation,
and a deep disinclination
to solve the situation

Cool cooperation
and calm communication
and deft determination
can cause combobulation

By the way, combobulation means the opposite of discombobulation; i.e. means an orderly, composed, organized state.

See also: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/discombobulate#English
https://www.omniglot.com/radio/?p=4024

Discombobulation

This is a song I wrote in August 2025 based on the phrase 'it's all Greek to me' and other ways to say that something is incomprehensible in various languages. This recording was made by me, and features me singing and playing the tenor and baritone ukuleles, shaky egg and kazoo. 

The Greek phrases you hear at the beginning of the track are ways to say that something is not understood in Greek (generated by https://ttsconverter.io/): Εἶναι γιὰ μένα κινέζικα (It's Chinese to me), Εἶναι ἀλαμπουρνέζικα (It's gobbledygook) and Εν τούρτζικα που μιλάς; (Are you speaking Turkish?). You can find other translations of this phrase in various languages at: https://www.omniglot.com/language/idioms/incomprehensible.php

Here are the words:

It's all Greek to me
It's all Greek to me
I don't understand a single word
It's all Greek to me

It's all Greek to me
and not my cup of tea
It might as well be Double Dutch
It really is too much

I don't understand a thing
It makes no sense to me
It's all a load of gibberish
It's all Greek to me

It's like a Spanish village
or a little Bohemian one
or is it like a Russian town?
It just makes me frown

It's quite beyond me
It's complete gobbledygook
It must be from an alien nation
and I only understand railway station

It's All Greek To Me

This is a song I wrote in October 2025 based on the saying 'when the cat's away, the mice will play', and similar sayings in other languages. 

Here are the words:

When the cat's away
the mice will play
they'll play all day
or so they say

They'll play cards in the kitchen
and poker in the pantry
and dice on the deck
and ludo in the loft

When the cat's in France
The mice will dance
They'll dance a jig
With a peacock and a pig

They'll waltz in the wok
and conga up the clock
and tango round the table
and salsa in the stable

When the cat's in Spain
The mice won't complain
They'll have a ball
And party in the hall

They'll invite all their mates
and eat all the dates
and race round on rats
and wear silly hats

When the cat's away
the mice will play
they'll play all day
or so they say

When The Cat's Away

In this first episode of the Radio Omniglot Podcast, I talk about my own language learning adventures, about the languages I've learned, and how and why I learned them.

Radio Omniglot

Episode 1 - My Language Learning Adventures

This episode of the Radio Omniglot Podcast is about Scottish Gaelic (Gàidhlig). I talk about the current state of the language, its history, how it is used, about my experiences of learning it, and share some observations I've collected from other Gaelic speakers and learners.

You can find out more about Scottish Gaelic at: http://www.omniglot.com/writing/gaelic.htm

The music featured in this episode is a tune I wrote called After The Rain / Ar Ôl Y Glaw https://soundcloud.com/simon-ager/after-the-rain-ar-ol-y-glaw

Episode 2 - Scottish Gaelic (Gàidhlig)

This is a podcast about the Irish language (Gaeilge) which talks about the history of the language, its current situation, how I learnt it, and a bit about its grammar and structure.

It features a number of traditional Irish tunes, and one of my own compositions and is partly in Irish, but mostly in English.

For more details, see: http://www.omniglot.com/radio/?p=80

Radio Omniglot Podcast

Episode 3 - Irish (Gaeilge)

In this episode I talk about Italian, and specifically about the Italian words used in Western classical music. I investigate why Italian is used, look at some of the words, and find out what they mean and how they are used in Italian.

You can find out more at: : http://www.omniglot.com/radio/?p=190

Epsiode 4 - The Language of Music

In this episode I talk about Solresol, a musical language invented by François Sudre in the early 19th century. It is designed to be a simple language for international communication with just seven basic syllables based on the Western major musical scale (do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, si).

Solresol was the first constructed language to be taken seriously as an international auxiliary language (IAL), and the only musical language that gained much of a following.

I look at the history of the language, and its structure, and will play with it to see how it works.

See also:  http://www.omniglot.com/radio/?p=237

Episode 5 - Solresol - The Musical Language

The Chanter's Tune is a traditional Irish tune that is popular in the Isle of Man. The Chanter's Jig is a version of the tune arranged by the Mollag Band. I recorded it for episode 7 of the Radio Omniglot Podcast, and thought I'd make it available as a separate recording.

http://www.omniglot.com/radio/?p=316

This recording is played on the guitar, cavaquinho, high and low whistles and bodhrán.

The Chanter's Tune is also known as The Chanter’s March, The Chanter’s Song, or The Song of the Chanter.

You can find more information about the Chanter's tune at: https://thesession.org/tunes/2082

Information about the Mollag Band:
http://www.manxmusic.com/performer_128498.html

The image is a practice chanter from: 
https://www.reelpipes.com/hikashop-menu-for-categories-listing/product/134-strathmore-long-practice-chanter-blackwood

Manx Tunes / Carryn Vanninagh

Chanter's Tune & Jig

This is a traditional Welsh folk tune played on the harp, which I learnt from the book 'The Celtic Harp'. It's also known as The Queen's Marsh or The Queen's Bog. This version is in F. In sessions it's usually played in G.

You can find a number of versions of this tune at: https://thesession.org/tunes/2910

The photo is one I took of the Cegin Valley / Dyffryn Cegin in Bangor.

Telynu

Morfa'r Frenhines

I composed this tune on the piano and harp in March 2019 while noodling in G Minor. The name came from a discussion at a folk session in Bangor about a tune called Mwmpwy Portheinion / Port Eynon, a traditional Welsh folk tune: http://tunelines.com/tunes/Mwmpwy_Portheinon/52/

I misheard the name and thought it was Mwmpwy Portaethwy, and we said someone should write a tune with that name. So here it is. Here are the dots; http://www.omniglot.com/music/MwmpwyPorthaethwy.pdf

The photo is one I took of Menai Bridge showing both the bridge (Pont y Borth) and the town (Porthaethwy).

Mwmpwy Porthaethwy / Menai Bridge Fancy

Mwmpwy Porthaethwy / Menai Bridge Fancy (Harp)

I wrote this song between February and April of 2019 after many years of letting it brew in my mind. It's written from the perspective of the words of an endangered language that has never been written down, and has only a few elderly speakers. There are hundreds of such languages out there.

See: http://www.unesco.org/languages-atlas/
http://www.endangeredlanguages.com/

I got the idea from a lecture by David Crystal about endangered languages. He said that a good way to spread the word about the plight of such languages might be for creative people to make art, or to write songs, stories, poems, etc about them. So this is my contribution to that effort.

This recording features me singing and playing the harp. You can see the score at: https://musescore.com/omniglot/echoesonthetongue

The words are as follows:

Echos on the Tongue

Chorus
Who will speak us when you’re gone?
Who will speak us when you’re gone?
All we are is breaths of air
Shaped by lips and teeth and tongue 

Once we were on every tongue
Whispered, yelled and often sung
Telling tales of long ago
Bringing smiles and laughs in tow

Then the new words came along
And they told us that we were wrong
They pushed us out before we knew
And now we’re spoken by just a few

Soon those few of you’ll be gone
With no-one left to carry on
Echos on the tongue at best
When you’ve gone to take your rest

Who will speak us when you’re gone?
Who will sing us when days are long?
Who will whisper us late at night?
Who will shout us with all their might?

The spoken words at the end mean "We are still here" in various endangered languages - currently Welsh, Breton, Irish, Scottish Gaelic and Manx.

Translations by Simon Ager and Lùthais MacGriogair.

My Songs / Fy Nghaneuon

Echos on the Tongue

Echoes on the Tongue

This is a tune I wrote in 2015 arranged for recorders(descant, treble, tenor and bass). I changed the end of the tune slightly as well to make it easier to play.

You can see the score at: https://musescore.com/user/16918231/scores/5558691

My Tunes / Fy Alawon

The Bells of Hirael / Clychau Hirael

The Bells of Hirael / Clychau Hirael (for recorders)

This is a tune I wrote on the piano in August 2019 for no particular reason. The title comes from seeing my neighbours cats playing around in the hedge in my garden.

You can find the score for this piece at: https://musescore.com/user/16918231/scores/5667004

Hedge Cats / Cathod y Gwyrch

In this episode I talk to fellow podcaster and language nerd, Kris Broholm. He makes The Acutal Fluency Podcast on which he talks to language learners about their language learning experiences and journeys. We talk about language learning, about Danish (Kris is from Denmark), and other language-related things.

You can hear Kris' podcast: https://actualfluency.com/actual-fluency-language-learning-podcast/

You can find notes on this, and other episodes of this podcast, at: https://www.omniglot.com/radio/

Episode 32 - Actual Fluency

In this episode I talk about reasons why we stop learning learning langauges. Why we give up on them and quit. This is based on a poll I posted on the Omniglot Fan Club on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/omniglot/permalink/10158232206959666/

Top reasons for giving up on a language include losing interest, not having enough time, getting distracted, another language seemed more interesting, and it being too hard.

Episode 33 - Giving Up

In this episode I talk about Dutch (Nederlands), a West Germanic language spoken mainly in the Netherlands and Belgium. I talk about the language itself and its history, about my attempts to learn it, and related stuff.

You can find notes and links for this episode at: https://www.omniglot.com/radio/?p=1004

Episode 34 - Dutch

I write songs and tunes, play a few instruments, and like singing. To earn a living I run a website about languages and alphabets (Omniglot). I also make a podcasts about words and language on Radio Omniglot.

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