Black sun breaking in my chest,
Cold light crawling through my flesh.
Silence hums — I taste the wire,
Breathe me in, feed the fire.

Eclipsera — take my name,
Burn my heart and keep the flame.
Eclipsera — Fall through me,
 fall through me, Till we’re the same.

Eclipsera — end my reign,
Born in dark, reborn in pain.
One last breath, one last sound —
The sun goes down.

Eclipsera

Slow lights.
Bodies hum.
No one speaks.
It’s all become—

the sound,
the sweat,
the stillness between,
a pulse that eats the scene.

I’m wired.
Still quiet.
I don’t bleed yet.
But I could.

You move,
I mirror.
Every beat is error.
Every kiss a glitch.

Metal under skin,
breath inside a code.
If you feel me fade,
just let me go.

I’m wired.
Still quiet.
You pull, I slide.
We burn in time.

Let the noise decide.
Let the body lie.

Wired

Smoke hangs low where the body was,
The air remembers what I’ve lost.
A slow undoing, quiet and clean —
I fade between the ash and dream.

Ash communion — no rebirth,
Only weight and hollow earth.
Breathe me once, then let me go,
The fire knows what I don’t know.

Hands like ghosts along my skin,
The heat retreats, the cold steps in.
Every prayer dissolves to sound,
And I fall through what I’ve found.

Nothing left to sanctify,
Nothing left to signify.
Just the hum that stays behind.

The light is gone, the signal dim,
The smoke curls back — it speaks again.
If this is grace, it has no name.
I breathe it in, and stay the same.

Ash Communion

I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
He moves where the light won’t go.
A whisper crawling up my spine,
Breathing secrets only shadows know.

He’s watching through my eyes,
He tastes you when I speak.
Every word a sacrament,
Every breath a need.

I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
And he’s reaching out for you.
I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
And he knows what your body will do.
I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
Every sin feels pure tonight.
I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
And he burns when you hold me tight.

You put your hands round my throat (You put your hands round my throat)
Your breath feels like a holy flame.
You whisper my unholy name —
Now we’re both to blame.

You pull the cord, I come undone,
Wrapped in smoke and skin.
Every mark you leave behind
Lets the darkness in.

I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
And he’s reaching out for you.
I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
And he’s breaking me right through.
I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
Every chain feels soft tonight.
I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
And he moans when you hold me tight.

Kneel in the flicker — I can’t breathe.
Pain and rapture, same belief.
Your hands are the altar, I confess —
To love the wound, to crave the test.

I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
And he’s clawing his way to you.
I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
And he knows the things you do.
I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
And the dark feels holy tonight.
I've got the devil in me (I've got the devil in me)
And he’s coming through your light.

Devil In Me

There once was a bird in a withered tree,
Black eyes staring out to a dying sea.
He said, “There’s a chance out there for me…”
But the wind was ash and the sky was clay,
So he folded his wings and turned away.

There’s a fish in the stream where the water bleeds,
Drifting through rust and forgotten reeds.
He swims toward a mouth that will never sleep,
Never looks back, just sinks too deep.

And I watch them both — their simple pain,
Their need to move though nothing’s gained.
If I were a bird, I’d still try to fly,
Even if the sea refused the sky.
If I were a fish, I’d swim straight through,
Because that’s what the living have to do.

So I’ll move through the dark, like they always knew —
Not to escape, but to see it through.

If I were ...

(It’s something you love… something you made… something that won’t let you go.)

It’s someone you know, now it’s something you build,
Stone by stone till the silence is filled.
It’s something you love — or something you need,
It grows in the dark where your wounds still bleed.

You gave your heart to something you love,
Now it feeds on the ashes you’re dreaming of.
Every breath, every lie, every vow you keep,
You’re just teaching the dark how to breathe.

All your senses are gone, the veil is thin,
The truth was a mirror — you looked within.
She turned her eyes to the holy sky,
But heaven was closed, and so was I.

You gave your heart to something you love,
Now it feeds on the ashes you’re dreaming of.
Every tear that falls is a seed in the fire,
And the pain grows roots from your own desire.

If you think the past is gone,
You’ve mistaken dusk for dawn.
Every shadow knows your name —
Nothing built in love stays the same.

She knows that I’m gone, she feels what you hide,
The truth you buried still breathes inside.
Now your soul’s awake, and it sees the cost —
What you love was never lost.

You gave your heart to something you love,
And it burns with the ghosts you’re dreaming of.
Every chain you forged was made for two —
Now it binds the dark to you.

(It’s something you love… and it’s never letting go.)

Something You Love

You move with intent,
like something wearing your skin.
The air folds around you,
pulling me into the centre
whether I want it or not.

Drag me down.
Strip the light out of my chest.
Let the shadows do the talking.
... Take me under.

Your hands hit like ritual,
pressure sharp enough to claim.
There’s an old hunger in your breath—
not yours,
but using you to reach me.

Break my balance.
Hold me where the room turns black.
Don’t let me rise.
... Take me under.

Something crawls through the silence.
Something answers your touch.
It wants me too.

No rescue.
No mercy.
Just the weight and the pull.
... Take me under.

Take Me Under

He says he loves me but it's all lies
He says he loves me, it's not true
So I'll throw a coin into the wishing well
Make my dreams come true today

He says he wants to get married
But he don't really mean that way
So I'll throw a coin into the wishing well
Make my dreams come true today

He says he's changing but he stays the same
Cold eyes staring straight through me
So I'll throw a coin into the wishing well
Make my dreams come true today

He says he needs me but his touch feels wrong
Like something else is breathing under his skin
So I'll throw a coin into the wishing well
Make my dreams come true today

He says he's trying but his voice sounds dead
A hollow echo where the truth should be
So I'll throw a coin into the wishing well
Make my dreams come true today

He Says

There's something in the way
You're walking around in disguise
There's something in the way
You look at me through your closed eyes
There's something in the way
You're feeding me lie after lie
There's something in the way
You think maybe I'd have realized

I can see
When you're feeling sad
I can see
When your heart is black

There's something in the way
It's happening time after time
There's something in the way
I'm failing to understand why
There's something in the way
My words all fall out as a sigh
And there's something in the way
I'm trying to tell you goodbye

I can see
When the light goes out
I can see
What you're twisting now

Now there's nothing in the way
I'm walking out, not turning back
And there's nothing in the way
It's time to be happy, not sad
There's nothing in the way
I know you've been tiring of me
And there's nothing in the way
So we can be finally free

I can see
How the end began
I can see
I'm my own again

I can see
Who you really are
I can see
And I'm already far

Goodbye

I want to tell a tale
from back when there was war.
A soldier stumbled in,
bruised, bleeding on the floor.
He saw me trying to hide,
shook his head, slow and plain,
he broke the quiet and growled,
you’re not leaving here today.

His boots scraped dirt and dust,
the air grew thick and still.
Those weren’t a soldier’s eyes,
something else bent his will.
In the low light, close and near,
I heard him say my name.

Hold me still in the dark,
bind me to what you serve.
If I scream, let it stay unheard.
I’m a hostage
to something old.

When I close my eyes, I feel it.
Something watching from the grey.
If I speak its name aloud,
will it take him,
or take me?

He fell to broken knees,
the light inside him gone.
I stepped out past his shadow
as the room breathed on.
In the silence left behind,
a voice followed my way.
you’re not free…
you just got away. 

I Am Hostage

I like playing instruments and making songs. My sound is pretty eclectic and generally 'not-quite-right' ... but I like it that way! I also make purely electronic music under the name DxDy.

I Am Hostage

sjwaller

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