Serotonin and Dopamine

Yeah… I keep meetin’ that same face in the dark,
Mirror mouthed the same old lines — left a mark.
Quiet till I breathe — then it talks back.

Been at war with the silence inside my veins,
Painted over pain but the paint still stains.
Smile glued on, got the edges tearin’ loose,
Every truth I swallow turns into a noose.
I made peace with ghosts I never paid,
They hustle my conscience like a debt unpaid.
Said I’m winning, but my wins taste hollow,
Model life on a cliff and it’s hard to follow.
Eyes red not from pride, but from nights I lost,
All the velvet on my smile come at a cost.
Fame’s a blade, I’m the wrist in its swing,
Catch the echo of a crown that never fit.
Confession to the mic, confession to the street,
I swear I keep signin’ receipts for retreat.

The darkest me — still breathin’ slow,
Crawlin’ through the things I know.
Every lie I let them see
Was just me hidin’ the darkest me.

Kept my past like contraband under lock,
Padlock rusted — every night it mocks.
Reflection don’t blink, it just names the sin,
Says “you built that stage just to watch it spin.”
Friends fade like tags on a price-marked shirt,
Trust learnin’ how to hurt where it shoulda’ nursed.
Tried talkin’ cures, but the talk turned thin,
What heals a wound that bleeds from within?
Gold on my wrist but chains on my wrists,
Cheers in the crowd hide the clinician’s lists.
I walk the line where the mirror splits,
Half of me fightin’, half of me quits.
Degrees in sorrow, tuition paid in screams,
My diploma’s inked in broken dreams.

The darkest me — still breathin’ slow,
Crawlin’ through the things I know.
Every lie I let them see
Was just me hidin’ the darkest me.

Night opens like a ledger, every page a scar,
I tally up the favors with the weight of who we are.
Tried to cut the rope but the rope pulled back my hands,
So I learned the muscle memory of standin’ where it lands.
Voices in the hall play my lines in other tongues,
Ghosts at the table pass the bread and chew my lungs.
I barter with my peace when the dealer’s at my door,
Sayin’ “one more show, one more fix, just one encore.”
See the darkest me, he’s peddlin’ compromise,
Dress him up in custom lies and sell him pricey ties.
I wrestle with the ledger, I wrestle with my name,
Inked in ledger lines, the losses keep the same.
I carve out apologies and feed ’em to the clock,
Seconds swallow up the guilt like it’s hard rock.
If redemption’s on the map, I’m learnin’ how to read,
But maps get torn when the light bleeds out the reeds.

The darkest me — won’t let go,
Talkin’ through the cracks below.
Every sin I set free,
Built the man — and the darkest me.

Still here — same room, new ghost,
The darkest me — the only host.

The darkest me

Tough Love

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I’m dead

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