turned 22 today, here's a song

produced by stonesowavy

mastered by @sastrp

LYRICS:

let me in let me out

tell me what you know
bout your life the shit u hide and tell me what u owe
forget about the time i got it start right from the go
lemme know your fears the trauma buried deep below
tell me bout the time u didn’t have a place a home
tell me bout the desperation of being alone
moving day to day where every day was seeming slow
every time the outcome of events was still unknown 
it’s unknown where we at
no time to react
speculation mixed with fact and the fad of attention in remission
cause it’s not about you and it never was
and it’s not about me that’s what troubles us
expecting compensation for a life that seems mistaken
and receiving nothing but impatience conflict illness degradation
seems unfair all this monotony performed with calculation 
comparing hatred
constantly racing
wonder what’s the purpose of the pain
dream of peace a stable life consistent pay
don’t ask for too much only take the things u need
tell me how you heal and how you bleed

can i tell you what i know
bout my life the shit i hide and what i owe
hope you got the time cause imma start right from the go 
i got a lot of fear and trauma buried deep below
i got a couple diagnoses probably a couple more they haven’t found yet
but the symptoms are apparent and the treatment done is negligent 
i’m stubborn almost arrogant in my ability to counter obstacles it’s evident
that i would benefit from therapy if i just fucking went
but i can’t even dial numbers start the journey of salvation
once my halo dusty now it’s broken down to yo sediment
i said i wanna change the world
she said that i can’t make that promise
i told her that i need approval
she said i might be a narcissist
cause i’m so focused on myself in such a troubling way
i can recognize the rot but i still let it decay
doing the bare minimum so i can get through the day
but i’m still desperate for some clapping hands to say it’s okay 
cause just the thought of doing what is right is not enough if i don’t actually do it
i want diplomas houses i blew it 
why does life feel claustrophobic when i just got on my feet
can i tell you how i heal and how i bleed

let me in let me out

i simply can’t believe in over sharing
given proper context humans tend to love comparing
situations lived and coping methods revel baring
honest nature of existence and precisely planning
what to filter rummage memories depression or your BPD
and anything that’s troubling the most open that you’ll ever be
but only let out what’s acceptable the limit of your history
is undefined when you first meet somebody you can vaguely see
being in your life extended time bond through little things
like breakups high school bullies neurons firing
to find the sweet spot not too overbearing sort of comforting
to know you’re not alone in this eventually the dam will break
testing the relationship by showing what is underneath
standing at a checkpoint in the bond you built so carefully
started off with how your parents were divorcing
to how you know the makeup that can help to cover bruising 
buzzwords key components of a conversation hold em in their mouth and let them out
when necessity to shows up 
know i’m here for you i care but question if they do believe that
in their head are they judgmental bout a controversial past

and maybe i’m just nosy bout your life
not always my business do or die
imma tell you something bout me
this is how i heal and how i bleed

let me in [prod. stonesowavy]

lyrics:

god, no, no you said you couldn't love me x5

if it's not what you wanted 
why you keeping me around 
kick me to the pavement 
when im already down 
one shot to the heart 
two shots through my brain
like covering your tracks
in the shade of the moonlight 
i said "if you don't love me then show me"
show me 
so you showed me pretty fucking cruelly 
i said if you don't love me then show me 
show me 
so you showed me
you showed me 

you take the blue right outta my veins 
you give me love then you give me hella pain 
i just want you to leave right now 
your back and forth is gonna take me out 

deadpan: 

i walk in this bitch dont need no disguise 
i been way too fucked up
let the drugs take me for a ride 
n what u scared for if u have nothing to hide
i will be right here patiently waiting for the sunrise
its all really not so complex 
goin up like forex
its the little things i ask 
if u wanna ask
then why dont u wanna see where it all gets 
i saw it go downhill ever since we met 
u can do that part 
took the red out of my heart 
do not want to restart 
up in new york we dont go far 
my name u can keep bashin 
bitch fly out in the aston 
im losing so much traction 
i dont know how all this could happen

tenshi:

*hook*

god no, no you said you couldn't love me
chasing you around is making me dizzy 
emotion sickness gonna be
the fucking death of me 
i'll be 24 and you'll be writing me a eulogy  
tell me are you ashamed?
are you even sort of ashamed of your duplicity? 
now im striving for the fame and the publicity 
cuz everybody here just turns away from me 

*hook*

you showed me every single day
but i was blinded in the disarray 
so, so i took it every single day, yea
im gonna fucking decay 

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lil peep, gbc, gbc type beat, lil tracy, sad beat, alternative rock, alternative rock type beat, emotional type beat, emotional guitar type beat, atmospheric type beat, sad beat, acoustic guitar type beat, rock, post punk type beat, pop punk type beat, burgos type beat, convolk, convolk type beat, scum type beat, lil lotus, 93feetofsmoke type beat, shinigami, brennan savage, nothing,nowhere, thebreathingbackwards, thebreathingbackwards type beat, erisu type beat, drippin so pretty, drippin so pretty type beat, yung axstn type beat, Days to Waste type beat, guccihighwaters, nedarb type beat, gearf type beat, smrtdeath type beat, yesterday type beat, killedmyself, suisai type beat, brakence, brakence type beat, sinxi type beat, shattered type beat, familypet, familypet type beat, Lil Agony type beat, ⋆frvr&alwys⋆ type beat, two:22, sosi type beat, OmenXIII type beat, OmenXIII, Sleye type beat, nicholas hunt type beat, VELVETEARS type beat, sewerperson, sewerperson type beat, metlast, discent, tothegood, scruffpuppie type beat, misogi type beat, teddybear type beat, LOVEJUMEX type beat, heroine diaries type beat, nicoteen ninyo type beat, LiL BO WEEP type beat, biteki, lullabyboy type beat, heylog type beat, plxntkid type beat, supachefm type beat, sadgods type beat, diveliner type beat, tommy ice type beat, Powfu, lovespelledbackwards type beat, brody type beat, gothurted type beat, demxntia type beat, Vision4k type beat, cozyboy type beat, Jay Vee type beat, bedroom noise type beat, Foreign Forest, 6HOST type beat, QAWI KAMRI type beat, prettyheartbreak type beat, guardin astari, ʎpoqou, nadiak, ggravee type beat, Coldhart, fats'e type beat, lil aaron, lil aaron type beat, greafer type beat, døves, notmorgn, 6 dogs, barren type beat, reaper, 4evr,unknxwn type whxami, vaegud, splashgvng, Puhf, sketchmyname, smokerose, hrxxkiller, sewerperson, 9tails, cøzybøy, dark trap, emo dark trap 93feetofsmoke, heroine diaries, cozyboy, shinigami, lil narnia, 6host, drippin so pretty, zubin, gothboiclique, kryptik, pollari, lederrick, wicca phase springs eternal, clams casino, ginseng, cry baby, airavata, tundra beats, sketchmyname, hxrxkiller, vaegud, discent, nothing nowhere, horsehead #emo #alternativerock #emorap #altrock

back&forth (ft. epiz0ik) [+afterlife x jolst]

phase me w/ killmesumday {1kamui}

Lyrics:

Giving me chills
Its giving me chills
Down my spine
It's not right
I know what you
think i did wrong
Enlighten me so i can fix
The overwhelming feeling of
The crucifix 

This feeling is crushing me like a ton of bricks
I don't think i deserve this, peers are lunatics
I wanna roam free not be stuck in your cage
I feel enraged

I'll find a way out of this dark omen
I need to do it quickly, i feel broken
Sticks and stones won't break my bones
but i don't like the crucifix and everyone knows
I'm not a monster im just a little crazy
My minds been doing cartwheels and spins lately
Sticks and stones won't break my bones
but i don't like the crucifix and everyone knows

Make it go away
I don't like this game
Fear through my veins
I don't wanna stay

(hey, hey, hey)
I can hear your voice
(go away, way, way)
I guess i have no choice
(hey, hey, hey)
Speak a little louder
(go away,way,way)
Their turning me to powder

Walking through
The forest at night
Need some adrenaline
I need a fright
Tell me what will
Fix all of it
can't be sat here unsure of what i am or how to escape it

This feeling is crushing me like a ton of bricks
I don't think i deserve this, peers are lunatics
I wanna roam free not be stuck in your cage
I feel enraged

This feeling i can't stand it no not any longer
The crucifix is feeding me, i'm getting stronger
I wanna roam free not be stuck in your cage
I feel enraged

I'll find a way out of this dark omen
I need to do it quickly, i feel broken
Sticks and stones won't break my bones
but i don't like the crucifix and everyone knows
I'm not a monster im just a little crazy
My minds been doing cartwheels and spins lately
Sticks and stones won't break my bones
but i don't like the crucifix and everyone knows

Crucifix (p. mcx x in bloom)

smd (prod. snorroyx)

track 1/3
produced by mix
for jude
vocals inspired by sleepwater

miss you <3

lyrics:
mom say's it'll be okay, mom say's it'll be okay
she's hoping that i'll come home soon, she's hoping that i'll come home soon

i'll be home soon, i lost my friends, i'll be home soon, to make amends
i'll be home soon, shit i lost my head, soon soon, i'll be home soon , im not enough, 
i'll be home soon, its just a bluff, i'll be home soon, i fucked up life, soon soon, i'll be home soon,
home soon, i'll be home soon, home soon, i'll be home soon, home soon, soon i'll be home soon 
why'd i trust you, i'll be home soon, pine i miss you, i'll be home soon


i met a kind pine tree, oh i love you dear
you gave me strength to be myself with no fear
i freeze my tears
hold you close to my heart, so i don't intend on giving up
back to building up

i get up off my phone, i plan on coming home
im stuck inside my shell, im breaking out of hell

i'm stuck inside this shell
i'm trapped here in this shell
i can't live in this shell
i don't feel in this shell 

no i don't feel in this shell
i'm stuck inside this shell
i like it in my shell
i can't breathe in my shell

im breaking out this shell
im getting out this shell
im getting out this shell
im getting out this shell

thank you.

dedicated to sleepwater 
pine tattoo when i can
we love and miss you <3

home (interlude)

lyrics 

the demons coming out tonight
theyre haunting taking over me 
dont know just how to make it right
dont know how it’s supposed to be
im always fuckin up my life
and mixing drugs i might od
im running out of all my time
but youre still lookin right at me
(2x)
im running out of all my time
but youre still lookin right at me
the life i wished i lived in 
where i grew up safe and happily
if self loathing was a crime
id be locked up for eternity
take whats yours take all of mine
not showing ur maturity 

that feeling inside 
you keep saying shit thats hurting me
feels like im losing my mind
every drug i take controlling me
why do you have to waste my time
feels like you have a grip on me
so just grab the knife and cut my heart
and throw it in the ocean sea

the demons coming out tonight
theyre haunting taking over me
dont know just how to make it right
dont know how it’s supposed to be
im always fuckin up my life
and mixing drugs i might od
im running out of all my time
but youre still lookin right at me
(2x)

Flower From A Distance

Prod. Pxlsdead

Lyrics:


Show me the path I wanna go heal 
I’m put thru test about shit I can’t feel 
Quit lying to me I can’t tell if it’s real 
It’s all up to me and I’m bouta I’ll reveal 
That I am the king I’m the one on the top 
Quit fucking with me no you won’t take my spot 
Wether you belive me or not 
This shit ain’t coming front luck 

No I can’t feel but I still made it here 
I take a new pill isn’t that weird 
I made it this far and I don’t even try 

I don’t even try 
I don’t even try
I just love getting high 

Show me the path I wanna go heal 
I’m put thru test about shit I can’t feel 
Quit lying to me I can’t tell if it’s real 
It’s all up to me and I’m bouta reveal 
That I am the king I’m the one on the top 
Quit fucking with me no you won’t take my spot 
Wether you belive me or not 
This shit ain’t coming front luck

phase me w/ killmesumday {1kamui}

SkullKidd {@skullkiddxx}

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