its not u________________it's me33

<//3

w @heylog
produced by sleepwater
lyrics:

i don't think that i feel it
my stomach can't heal it
my heart i warn you
surround me i turn blue
you doubt me you flew
you drowning in sloot
my heart break in 2
im ready to die
cos i left ur side
i kick back and cry
this where i resite
i laugh at myself
its good for my health (oh no)
whats that on my the shelf (oh no)
i think its yourself (oh no)

ash blonde hair i need you now
carve my life thru the fields im a tree in the ground
i can't feel my fucking heart so why does it go pound pound pound
i sense you wanna dart, so why
 dont u wannaa stay, now

i can sense the fear ik our loves linear now
feeling like a tree thats never gonna grow; help
beat me black and blue with all the words you spew pal
you could save him now but i don't think he wants you now

heylog:

your pretty little words are meshed and i don't feel them
i'm to the point where i just lost every feeling
i still wouldn't feel a thing if i had a million friends
i'm getting closer everyday to ending it
the sun falls and creeps through my window
it's blinding me, now orange is painted on my walls
the same colour i saw when i fell in love
when i see it again i just can't get enough
can someone end my life, i don't wanna be here at all..
i'm past the part where i care at all
that's when i know shits getting bad
and i wonder how long this'll last

tree w/heylog

featuring @user-411557229
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
the veins in my skin pop out when i'm warm
i handle a blade and point to my arm
oh she'd be upset if i put it through
i'll put it away but only for u
well this time u won, you proud of yourself
i put us down, no need to be held
i've suffered too long in my mental state
i'm harming myself, does it look like i'm okay
i said u were right
and i'm sorry just know i'm not bright
or the smartest, keep beating my eyes
till they're blue and to where i can't see
now they're swollen, i'm blind in my view
and now everyday feel like i lose
but i'm trying to cope without u
and it's hard oh baby it's hard
so wish me ur luck and ur regards

it drips from my forearm to my shirt
watching the blood fall is the worst
ignore all of your calls cus i've learned
i made it a full year without her
I LISTEN TO NONSENSE ON A BASIS
IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD AND IT'S MY FAVORITE
I KEPT THEM AROUND FOR ENTERTAINMENT
I CHOOSE TO STAY PRIVATE AND FACELESS
DON'T TEXT ME
DON'T CALL ME
I'VE WITNESS AUTOPSY
DON'T COME HOME
I WON'T BE HERE
I LEFT SO IT'S SINCERE
a lots on my mind
like my future and maybe a wife
and i wonder if music's my prize
it's the only thing going for me
been a week since i've gone outside
i'm pathetic it sums up my life
forgot her and god it's about time
and something that i can't help but think
if ur disappointed in me

(residential)
tell me what you find
deep inside her eyes
cause she used to be kind
until she lost her mind

blade in the basement
i'm high but i'm anxious
snapping back the hat when i am next in the rotation
thought i found myself, but i'm in dissociation
love being alone, but i don't fuck with isolation

quarter ounce
pack it up and take me out
you said i’d be better now
but all i got are pills around

where the fuck you’ve been at
you left your nail marks on my back
now i'm going too fast
but i can't help but think about the past
i just smoked what was left in the bag
and i really don't mind if i crash

spotify

pathetic ft. residential

https://open.spotify.com/album/2erLjZg3vJPYobdmKrexhW?si=Iu-yZ4N-Qc-Ec5v5DKoxrg

prod. @deademane

(heylog)
between the glass
is filled with poison
i feel like trash
apply the ointment
just stay back
he needs some time alone
cus through the cracks
is the widows home
don't come inside here
i would bounce
we're not alive here
don't stick around
when ur minds clear
come in the house
cus i'm not safe here
so get me out

don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

(casperrr)
oh she
she is lying thru her teeth
i swear that she wants to kill me
lay with my lifeless body
while staring at the ceiling
her actions are deceiving
she cuts herself she's bleeding
the blood is running and she really
fucking loves to see it

welcome to the widows home
there's cracks and holes in every wall
the emptyness fills all those holes
this place really tourments my soul
but you can't leave neither can i
i'll go into a room and cry
i'll try to just make up my mind
cut my hair lock myself inside

there's nowhere to go to now
there's no1 to save you now

(heylog + casperrr)
don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

casperrr x heylog - there's nothing left here (deademane)

produced by sleepwater leftquiet and heylog
w @heylog

im losing faith and abilities
i wish i was brave im never at ease
what did you say to me
nothing was made for me
nothing went the way of the willow
ill sit right here and wait by my window

picking leaves for you to see
i hate these trees when i cant breathe
im sick of me i said too much
i hate myself not scared to crush
im not scared to crush
i hate myself
not fair no touch
i did this to myself

come destroy me now i rlly wanna know
i locked inside your arms
i hate the way it goes
im locked inside a farm 
while u remove his coat
ive never had the time 
to let anyone close

heylog:
just a log and a tree standing open in fields
rough times for a being if u don't know how to heal
kill me lover, push below the ground
oh i can't stand it here, not even an ounce
oh you
oh my
come back
to my side
i dont know myself
dont go ill stay and get help

no i dont miss you
hate what u done to me
say that your in love me
200 hundred days
where i would see you
i made a mistake
now i cant see you

fields w/heylog

Set Me Free

https://www.linktr.ee/chrisrain
Produced, mixed & mastered by Chris Rain
Artwork by Chris Rain

lyrics: https://genius.com/Chris-rain-hate-me-lyrics

SPOTIFY

HATE ME

BUNNYHUG

Albany

Haven

Firescapes

produced by sleepwater & leftquiet
mixed and mastered  by sleepwater

if you dont love me
you wont see this
if you dont wanna love me
you dont wanna see this
how after all
how have i become
who, who

removing myself from everything
show you the world
cos your everything
cos your everything

that i need
so please
want me
cos your everything
i need
i need

she made me wanna die and i dont know why
i cant see the light i got the tunnel vision
reapers getting life call it double time
i dont think ill be able to stand here
dont want my personalities meeting
drowning thoughts seem to be sinking

cos your everything
cos your everything
cos your everything
i neeed

you gotta bottle it up
you gotta pack that in 
i wanna flood the gates
she betta celebrate it
so where would be the line
if i ever wanted to cross it
never felt right
when i tried
to love you
you
help

please

produced by speedlmt

lyrics:
before i found u
i was going through hell
oh do you miss me
im still going through hell
i still cant even tell
what its like to be me
she doesent miss me
she doesent miss me


i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations
i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations

she my bandage
walking through the forest empty handed
blood on my screen
with dirt on my shoes
where have you been
i sorta miss you
well no defiently do 
im shaking in my room
i really hate this house
im shaking in my room
i need a way out
im shaking in my room
im shaking in my room
shaking in my room

i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations
i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations

isolation

hey, woah
you look so much better than i thought you would
i know i could have helped and i know i should
have been there when you needed me most
so stay close
i just can't bear the thought of you going ghost
on everything we built and the roads we took
doesn't that sound like the best?
'cos i've been staring at a little piece of heaven in your eyes
and i look beyond the arch and see the devil in disguise
and it hurts when you matter the most
and it kills me when you leave me alone
and trust me that i gave it my all
my skin is shed and i'm nothing but bone
you're poison in my veins, my disease
the end of everything we could be
and it's hard
to focus on our wants and i won't
leave you here in my arms 'cos you know
it never got easier
my disarray
leads me here when i need a safe place
i might lead you here into the flames
and right here we'll stay
tongue tied, what can i say
burrowed, i'm hiding away
go without me, save yourself
leave right now, i wish you well
it's been a while since we spoke
but it feels like a week ago
and you forgot what i look like
you won't see even if you try
you won't see me even if you try your best
i can't believe we continue trying again
'cos in the back of my mind i just know we'll end
let's not figure it out, let's just call it dead
i stay alive for a reason
and that reason is you
when my body is bleeding
it bleeds out just for you
Friends (Interlude)
oh she stole my heart
it's all i have
ooh drifting apart
but there ain't no way i'm giving up
it's all my fault
you said yourself
i took too long to answer
you called my your 'makeshift hell'
my patience thin
you told me you wanna stay as friends
i don't know how to take that in
but trust me i'll be alright
it's the same shit but a different day i
woke up in a different place i
don't really remember how i got so damn low
save me all your bullshit lies
i find it hard to push the lines
but ain't that what you wanted love?
ain't this what you needed oh?

you're poison in my veins, my disease [feat. heylog]

hey guys hope u enjoy this new track.
shoutout to @prodjpjp for the production
& shoutout to @heylog for hopping on it 

LYRICS:
All my friends have turned to strangers
Am I really all alone?
Tell me truth and don't be jaded
Where have you been all night long?
I'm all alone
Struggling to get off my phone
Yeah, I think we did this all wrong
And I cannot get over it
I shouldn't feel this way, not at this young age

So I run, I swear
It's all I've got left in my shitty bones
And you love to leave
Whenever I need you here with me most
Is it all in my head?
All alone to the end?
I guess I'll never know
But I wish you the best
For whatever comes next
'Cause now I'm leaving home

(I'm leaving home)
Uh, so imma leave all my vices
Leave all the memories
Leave all the trauma
You was just my enemy
You're not a friend of me
I see that now it's clear as day
So, it's time to runaway

So I run, I swear
It's all I've got left in my shitty bones
And you love to leave
Whenever I need you here with me most
Is it all in my head?
All alone to the end?
I guess I’ll never know
But I wish you the best 
For whatever comes next
'Cause now I'm leaving home

What has my life become?
Can't think how I once was
All these years gone by so fast
How come I still look back?
This blonde boy I used to be
Smiled big and was happy
Now everybody's watching
I hate it to be honest
The past few years have felt this way
And oh I've had so much to say
Thinking I'll get over it
There's a lot here to digest
Another person disrespects
I'm keeping guard oh, yet again
Maybe I should unalive
Piss right off and from my life

bones w/ heylog (jpjp)

Broken Reflections

this track was produced by @nevrfall

lyrics:
i dont think this is my time
place my feet i feel alright
missing all your face again
15 pounds help sleep at night

life ur body, dont feel ashamed
i still feel u miles away
i still feel lonely when im with you
all these people around and i miss you
i dont think this feelings right
caught your stare as we locking eyes
i dont know who these people are
bandages gotta hide my scars

𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶?
𝘰𝘩. 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸...
𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨

I BARELY KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THESE WOMEN ARE
I BARELY KNOW WHO THIS BITCH IS
BABY JUST HOLD ME ITS GETTING DARK
WHERE I AM 2 HOURS DIFFERENCE
NOW WERE APART EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT
NOW WERE AFAR EVERYTHING FEELS DISTANT
IN 4 YEARS
will we still be kissing?

i dont think this is my time
place my feet i feel alright
missing all your face again
15 pounds help sleep at night

miles away (p. nevrfall)

this song was produced/mixed/mastered by heylog

lyrics:
im popping all my cells
where are u now
tell me this is real
cause i love to doubt
i just wanna lay on here
farther from the place ur near
i heard your whisper in my ear
3 words that ive always feared

ur easy to fall in love
i honestly cant get enough
get enough
but hey
youve pulled me away
from the bullshit and pain
i hope that i could do the same
i never been on this page
but tell
tell me this is true
i cant stand being lied to
but you
you wont admit
all the things you did

someone put me in my place
im tired of my mistakes
are u sure wanna love me
baby its too late
i just wanna lay with u
fall back in my dirty shoes
no one even has a clue
i like u cause u think im cool

ur skin and bones feelin mine
thrift shirt reflect off the light
clear frames with big pretty eyes
pretty eyes
but wait
will i see u today?
i already miss ur face
can u call me by my name
i cant go another day
but i
i was in need for your love
i guess i asked for way too much
but you
you wont do shit
you stole what i gave

shelter

Matthew smith


Faith. forgiveness. truth.

tree w/heylog

sleepwater

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