Unironic Rap Battles

Yep. Happy 5 year anniversary of TRBoCS. :D

Nice Peter as Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu
EpicLLOYD as The Boss Baby

TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS
FUYUHIKO KUZURYU 
VS
THE BOSS BABY
BEGIN!

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu (0:16):
Name’s Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, bitch, I’m a fucking gangster
True yakuza, shoot right through ya, you’re in fucking danger
This shithead’s met a dead end
Now I’m taking you to school, call it TedEd
Ain’t here to change your Pampies, I’ll get to dropping bodies
‘Cause when it comes to nannies, I’m more like fuckin Maki
Your work ethic is just something I can’t admire 
Sucking up to higher ups like they’re your damn pacifier 
Junko forced our whole class to watch Chiaki’s death and
It still brought less despair than your original on Netflix
I’m more stone-faced than fuckin Munakata
So drop the Poker Face, Lady Googoogaga 
Or I’ll drop a diss right on top a bitch
And like your Oscar win, I’m fuckin robbing this

The Boss Baby (0:52):
Ooh, would you look at that, it’s the scary Danganronpa man
Get real, they have a subdivision in Baby Corp. dedicated to all your fans
Each of your games is built from the same model
Franchise so formulaic, it’d fit in my dang bottle
The moment that I popped in the womb, baby I balled in it
I’ll win by more than a hair, kid, I’mma Baldwin it
Bring your whole clan and let’s get down to business
Yea, the company I’m reppin’s used to putting down bitches
Stacking layers of dough, dine on high class placenta
Rock Armani drip, leaving you dripping magenta 
Slim Shady with an eyepatch won’t be a challenge
Dressing like a pirate Gomez Addams
I won’t be forgiving your horrible temper 
‘Cause I’m more heavy metal than your choice of a weapon
So don’t get too close when you’re stepping
I’m the B-O-S-S, feel no stress, best hold your defenses
And your trashy written love story arc left you killed, bro
Seems Peko left you with Twilight Syndrome
And, uhhhh, while you were bearing all the pain and trauma with the abrasions caused from all your time as head of the yakuza
Well, uhhhh, I took your baby mama Pekoyama, showed her where babies come from, put her to rest harder than Monokuma

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu (1:45):
Talk about Peko like that again and I’ll gnash your fuckin teeth in
Let’s see how much you wanna talk shit when I put my damn feet in this fetus, I’ll leave him defeated
And dropped on a doorstep, and once I render you an orphan
How about I do what your parents should’ve and make this track your abortion (Brrrraaaahhh)
This is one tape you’ll wish never gets played back, son
You’re getting milked so hard, no wonder Francis can’t stand ya
I dodged a bullet, got my death swapped, case 3, pre-production
Your film dodged a bullet dropping Spacey before he touched it
My kin taught me discipline, you got spoiled and pampered
I’d beat the shit jokes out ya, little kid, just to teach ya some manners
I guess I’m just too old to get your appeal, sorry
But you scream disaster more than a gender reveal party 

The Boss Baby (2:19):
I’m trying to wrap my head around you, but I can’t tell which carries more weight
Your shoulders from all your losses or… the swimsuit that caved your sister’s face (What?)
God damn Baby Numbnuts, how about you stop your whining
Your lyrics are just nonsense: Jabberwocky Island
I’d take out your last eye, but you’re already so blind (Ay ay ay ay)
While I’m a bad baby, so catch me outside (Ay ay ay ay)
Quit talking to me or you oughta get beat
Get blown off of the scene like it’s Nagito’s dreams
I’m so fly and I’m killing this mic
So watch this blackened bird leave you dead in the night 

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS

Mixing/Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Anywaywell
Cover Art by Rabi

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu vs The Boss Baby. Terrible Rap Battles of Comic Sans

Me as both
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Kustom

TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS
FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT
VS
JERRY SEINFELD
BEGIN


Jerry Seinfeld:
Want a World War-Burton? Joe Swanson can’t spit hard
When old grandpas make up his whole fan club
But by now, I’m sure you’re used to sitcoms
Cause that body of yours sure ain’t fit for stand-up
Ayyy, Jerry Seinfeld, unrivaled
Grab a mic, I’ll go right into spittin’ fire, insightful 
Can’t hope to fight all my titles because my comedy’s dominant
While you’re awful in politics, your democracy flopped to bits
And your policies aren’t shit to the shows that I’ve landed
So this song, I’ll be calling it “Punks in Chairs Getting Their Asses Handed”
Set foot in the White House, unemployment went berserk
Jesus, not even your legs wanted to work
It’s your Constitutional right to not talk, so use it
Cause that novice Truman drops more bombs than you, man
What are your contributions? We’re all just clueless, for real!
Left the American people asking “What’s the New Deal?”
Got status higher than you during your Infamy spiel, cretin
My damn Bee Movie Script tops all your boring ass speeches
My old man fought for the Allies, so I’ll respect your appeal
But now the only Axises you’re battling are on your wheelchair wheels

FDR:
You call yourself a comedian? Those jokes were dreadful!
The only thing we have to fear is another one of your specials
To hell with your two cents, I’ll give you my right dime
I’ll need less than four terms to dismantle your tight five
FDR sets the bar extra hard ‘gainst this farce
Left in shards when I’m armed, best not harm the pres in charge
500 pairs of sneakers and still no footing in humor
Just a dried out boomer, call you Amy Shoe-mer
I trashed Hitler’s whole state, you took silver to Goldthwait
But you must be fed up with all the critics on your plate
I’m the next George Washington, you’re ignored over George Costanza
Even Madison would tower over crack Adam Sandler
I led my country through the greatest depths
When the economy crashed harder than the Marriage Ref
Then I beat the world’s evils, stirred people up with ill words
And now they pit me up against a safe for work Bill Burr?

Jerry Seinfeld:
Let’s back it up a tad bit, you cousin-loving fascist 
Don’t act like your past isn’t shrouded in trash, prick
Try rescuing refugees, or if that’s too much to ask
At least try not cramping the Japanese in internment camps
You just might be the most racist dude in World War Two
Cause even Hitler treated Jesse Owens better than you
First man to rep a black card, that’s the kinda bank this dude owns
But the only Black guy you ever liked was Hugo

FDR:
With that foul rap odor, I doubt you’re sober
‘Cause you whine about society more than the Joker
And now Gen Z memes cause your legacy to wilt
Change your sitcom’s description to a show about your skill
You barely made it, your career was carried thanks to Larry David
And you dare to claim I’m racist when your fame is dated
Fading ratings, there’s no way you’ll save ‘em, tanked just like your failed relations
Maybe make sure that the babe you crave’s of age before you date them
Franklin’s undebatedly the greatest man to grace this planet
Your bits make some lame kids laugh but my words make the stage go frantic
Make you panic, hateful tactics won’t suffice or aid your rapping
I don’t need a cane to grasp, my verbal hooks will take this has-been

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES OF COMIC SANS

Franklin D. Roosevelt vs Jerry Seinfeld. Terrible Rap Battles of Comic Sans

Me as both
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Anywaywell

SNAKEBITE RAP BATTLES
JEVIL
VS
MONTRESOR
BEGIN!

Montresor:
Greetings and salutations, it’s your companion Montresor
Meeting this valiant acquaintance, I must ask of one request, sir
That we skip this poor bravado and check my kin’s coat and motto
You’ll end up with Fortunado when I wreak havoc on jesters
Mask on, draped in Gothic clothing
I’m a sly Fox, more cunning than Toby
Took your first game’s whole gimmick then cloned it
There’s been no change, where’s your metamorphosis?
I’ll leave you howling for your verbal crimes,
Not talking Amontillado when I bask in your fervent whines
And once this murder’s final, you’re sure to find
I’ve committed the perfect rhyme

Jevil:
Let’s play a game, a game, I call it “Guess the Human”
This one’s consumed by petty feuding, and now his World Revolves around retribution
And wasted his life away plotting to maim his pal
But it all went to shit as their silence gnawed at his fulfillment, *cone cap jingles, beat stops* does that ring a bell?
*laugh* Too dim to pass as a Lightner
You’re at your most bright when you’re slathered in nitre 
This one is a game you’re not playing so well
Must be a Holiday ‘cause I’m taking no Ls
No chance you can match with my pace (Chaos)
You’re a tactless disgrace (Chaos)
Get Luchesi to rap in your place 
For the drunkard who authored you lacked any taste (Weehee!)
When causing carnival carnage, I am unparalleled
Dirges burning like curtains, I ride a beat like a carousel (Pip pip)
Put your friend to sleep for 50 years? You put me to sleep for a century
Tryna be invested in your story got me like, “Erm...I can do mostly anything”

Montresor:
That’s the best you could do to me?
Then I’ll be punishing this puny imp with impunity
Played your cards against a pack of children, then soiled it 
All it took was TP to flush this joker down the toilet
It’s drudgery having to wait for you
So behind in development, call you Betarune
Break you apart like the key for your cell’s lock
In paces recquiescat
For the love of god (the love of god)
I’ll put this hack in a box (hack in a box)
I Rouxl harder than Kaard (harder than Kaard)
So just call me Seam (just call me Seam)
For this ordeal’s left me in stitches and you’ve pushed my buttons so good day to you
Now the friend you once trusted shall lock you away for good, feeling déjà vu?

Jevil:
No urban legend that Boston Harbored
Could incite new ideas in your garbage author
Just another loon Poe wrote to give readers creeps 
A discount Tell-Tale but failed to keep a beat
You think you’re all that ‘cause you clowned on a jester
But as you fall flat, I’ll be crowned like it’s checkers
You spent your verse threatening thousands of injuries
Yet through it all, you’ve not once tried to insult me
I Cirque de Slay when I’m spitting
I stole the whole show as a side mission
This shabby old creep can’t keep up the tempo
‘Gainst gaming’s most demented jester since Dimentio
Oh, what a fun game this has been, frolicking in the cemetery 
So here’s one more final jest between friends and it’s not the hatchet getting buried *laugh*

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
WE DECIDE!
SNAKEBITE RAP BATTLES

Montresor vs Jevil. Snakebite Rap Battles

Raichous as The Riddler
SimplyRazzy as The Zodiac Killer
Snakebite126 as The Riddler (video)
Fightmarker as The Zodiac Killer (video)
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Instrumental by Dansonn
Cover art by Fightmarker

SNAKEBITE RAP BATTLES
THE ZODIAC KILLER
VS
THE RI-
-RIDDLER LAUGH-

The Riddler:
Who’d you expect? The Ripper? Well, here’s a fun code to crack
Who’s the no-name hack behind the horrid acts of the Zodiac?
The lowly man so self-loathing that he cloaks his ass with a grocery bag
Ted Cruz or Kaczynski? No, in fact, he’s a more hopeless laugh! *laugh*
With unparalleled intellect whose fared and dealt with the best
They paired my wellness against this barren whelp with no zest?
And I called the Bat’s costume bad but you must depress him
A dollar store cosplay for the Ku Klux Konvention?
Your envy stirred up your troubles, virginity didn’t sit well
Started murdering couples, you’re the ultimate incel
Killed 37? Like someone would buy that hokey hoax
But what can you expect from the guy modeled off horoscopes

The Zodiac Killer:
If you’re saying that you’ll own me, then get it done
Cause the cops are still tryna find the threat you’re posin’ to anyone
I’d tie you to a pile of explosives and set the clock
But I don’t need to put the car in Carrey, his performance already bombed
The Zodiac, I’ll smack that smug face of yours out that bowler hat
Wordplay’s all you’re good at and you still managed to blow at that
We both play mind games but your physical prowess is little
But I don’t need any ciphers to leave my victims riddled. *bang*
Dressed like a gameshow host, from the hat to the shoes
But it’s no surprise. I’m sure you’re used to Family Feuds
Your smarts made daddy confused, he took it out all on you
Just ‘cause he was jealous you made the Gifted and Talented group
That’s why you hand out your clues? You must be kidding me. 
You leave your name on every riddle while mine still remains a mystery!
I’m still shrouded in infamy as history’s great illuder
While your mind’s only grown big because of the tumor

The Riddler:
Ah-ah-ah! That’s the wrong answer!
You have one attempt left so don’t let me down, sir.
Your words lack any meaning, explains the mystery symbols
If this is Zodiac speaking, best stick to child’s scribbles
My riddles fool the greatest, I’d crack your ciphers like word scrambles
But sitting through your films? A challenge even I couldn’t handle
You got some short attention but your real name’s lost in time
All the effort planning but who can appreciate all your crimes?
While Edward Nigma’s still admired as the greatest of Gotham’s minds
So one more chance, who’s the Zodiac? Answer wrong, you die.

The Zodiac Killer:
I’m a nobody, right? That’s what’s on the paper
But your compulsive behavior only results in your failures 
A known face is a closed case while a legend unsolved is greater
While you get busted by jailors, I have ‘em stumped decades later
Straight out the Golden Gate, I was outclassing most common crooks
The real world fears me, you’re barely an issue in your own comic books
The blows that I deliver hit too hard to survive ‘em
I took the trophy from the Riddler like it’s Arkham Asylum. *bang*

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
SNAKEBITE RAP BATTLES

The Riddler vs The Zodiac Killer. Snakebite Rap Battles

Watch the video for this battle! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z6Iw-S6RvU&t

Welcome back to Shimario's Rap Battles! Today we have a battle between 2 variations of some of the most iconic gaming sidekicks there are. We have Tails Doll, the creepy Tails replica and well known creepypasta, and Weegee, the face of Youtube Poop. Comment down below who you think won the battle, and feel free to leave suggestions for future battles as well!

Around this time last year, I released a battle that was apart of the 100 hour challenge. This year we once again did the challenge, except instead of working in teams, we worked in duos. I partnered with GamingPlush64, and we've spent the past few days making this.. thing. Enjoy!

Shimario as Tails Doll
(You're here already silly)

GamingPlush64 as Weegee
https://www.youtube.com/@GamingPlush64

Written by: Shimario and GamingPlush64
Beat Produced by: Diamond Style
Beat Arranged by: GamingPlush64
Mixed by: GamingPlush64
Puppet Work by: GamingPlush64
Thumbnail by: Rabi

LYRICS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dM6G33bBX0xr6iQ8vfPWPPEE29G4vBN5EkjDSlhNoNI/edit?usp=sharing

Thanks for listening! Not sure when I'll post next, but whatever it is I hope you guys have a ball with it.

Weegee vs Tails Doll - Rap Battle!

ORIGINALLY UPLOADED ON 04/15/2022

LYRICS

Happy Appy:
Hey kids! It’s an episode of Happy Appy!
And on today’s show, we’ll be snapping through a sappy sad freak!
Now this matchup may make it look like we’re equal
But I hope you remember my tips on how I burn people! 
This little sock puppet thinks he’s got somethin’
But just try and start talkin’ and I’ll make sure that that maw’s shut, kid
I’m bad to the bone, check how much my core’s sickened
I’ll take this metal pole I got and bludgeon your fucking corpse with it
You can take it from Miranda, I kill it when I run tracks
Like Bo’s career in standup, you’re not able to come back
So I predict that you’ll crash when this apple is spitting
Why’s this outlier being silenced? Well that’s natural, children

Socko:
Woooow, Appy, that sure was a lot!
But I’ll have to make like Nick Jr. and turn it all off
‘Cause I can’t bare your snuff films or the words that you brought
So I’ll let some curses out when I’m burning this doll
Ok so first off, what the fuck is up with your plot, man?
Took to crashing planes, since your ratings just could not land
From your fires, the addresses, and killing kids with your shiny knife
Makes sense this shit Mr. Bear wannabe aired in ‘99
Hell, your whole fucking deal is the fact you’re a joke
And a shit one! No wonder Forenzik dropped the act and then croaked
So I’m happy your show found a home as you can rot in hell now
Wanna redeem yourself? Take that syringe and knock yourself out

Happy Appy:
Oh no, everybody! Seems our buddy flunked his verse!
But don’t worry, Happy Appy’s here to teach him how this works
4 minus 1? (3!) 8 minus 6? (2!)
Take the sock, you’re left with Oobi with no Eyes on Him (Ooh!)
I’ve killed astronauts, yet you still choked more than them!
Go back to your little purgatory of Burnham’s tormentin’
I’ll show you where to start if you wanna escape that prison cell
                                               Kill yourself

Socko:
Are you fucking serious? Suicide’s the hardest bar that you throw?
The only laughs you’ll get from that are toddlers watching your show
Like come on, you creepypastas are supposed to be frightening, right?
But I’m getting scared at the quality on how they write you guys
Made as a shitpost to read on Roblox threads late at night
And your rewrite came, and spoilers, nobody found anything of worth
Now your owner’s bawling his eyes just because he has to say outright
That Appy’s just a fad, and kids, That’s How The World Works

CREDITS

Danii as Happy Appy
WoodenHornets as Socko

Written by Rabi
Beat prod. by Epistra
Additional Instrumentation by Swizkii, Freshy Kanal, Snakebite126, JustGamer, and Nikki
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Art by noobydotwad and BMB
Cover art by Rabi

Happy Appy vs. Socko - Rap Battle

Ego as Blitzo
Leo Barqui as Beetlejuice

Written by Teimunity

Illustrations by Tompuffs, Dboy
Thumbnail by Cidisswo

Mixed and Mastered by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Production by Anywaywell

Special Thanks: Dboy, Tompuffs, Spindlehorse, You, The Viewer

Beetlejuice vs. Blitzo • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

Check out the video for this battle!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxzrjyDF7aY

Welcome back to another installment of Shimario's Rap Battles! Today we have a big battle between two goofy side villains, who secretly have much bigger plans beyond what the main villains of their respective games aim for. We have Dimentio, the larger than life jester who steals the show in Super Paper Mario, and Plague Knight, the small yet insanely mischievous alchemist on a quest for all of the Order of No Quarter's essences in Shovel Knight. Comment down below who you think won the battle, and feel free to leave suggestions for future battles as well!

Rosenthal as Dimentio
Snakebite126 as Plague Knight

Written, Directed, and Produced by: Shimario
Beat Produced by: ENNWAY 
Mixed and Mastered by: Freshy Kanal
Edited by: Shimario
Art by: Valonide 
Cover Art by: Rabi
Special Thanks to: Eddiefrb, Jofinity, GustyStar, Zertonium

Lyrics:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GtQS063JZBw8j7P4U-v-HEfds4lEiNZVQIU5MgSdyLE/edit?usp=sharing

Dimentio vs Plague Knight - Rap Battle!

Undertale vs. The Stanley Parable - Royale Rap Battle!

TheMonarchy As The Narrator

King Ducky As Sans

Written by King Ducky & King Wallace

Art by M&Mattie

Mixed by Jort

Cover Art by Tompuffs

Prod. Anywaywell

The Narrator:
This is the story of a man named Sans he’s
A man shamed as he cant save family
But not to worry at least Sans's plan has been campaigned grandly? 
Haha! Pop the champagne Stanley

Sans really talks as if he can control the hand of Frisk
The alt Ness can't ctrl his tab at Grillbys while in massive debt!
Chara thought outside the box Sans granted them a stab at it
By sleeping on the job, fits all he asked for was a pass out fest

Sans:
Need advice on how to spit? Stay in your own lane
Take it step by step, it's basically your whole game 
The birds are singing, the flowers abloom
On days like these players like yours should get out of their rooms 

So uh… I miss something? Or did ya get a bit stunted
Ya get done in by skip button and tin bucket 
Kick it if your next verse is as unparable
Who would’ve guessed the button pusher pushed his buttons (ba dum tss)

The Narrator:
No more ba dum tss! 
That monotonous voice from a SpongeBob clip makes wringing you out on the top of my bucket list 
Just monsters in a pocket underground, well I’m on top of it!
The glutton couldn’t stomach Frisk, a ketchup stain was all that’s left

You just sit viewing the human's kills to not do them in?
You only lose your head once your brother loses his!
When you intend to do something you get hit then are through with it?
All behold the stupidest, ugliest, fattest being to exist!

Sans:
Stanley’s gone, you’ve crippled him, a disease in his own head
But all that’s needed to finish your shit show is schizo meds
You double down and grumble just to spout condescension 
But fall victim to a fall victim and lose out on your zending

From locked in the boss’s office suite to a broom closet sweeping him off his feet, both stopped his need for context constantly 
Wrong paths lead to long rants seems your story is hypocrisy
You talk of freedom but get awful mean when Stanley's off his leash

Sans vs. The Stanley Parable - Royale Rap Battle! [ft. TheMonarchy]

Kinger vs. Needlemouse • 𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘷𝘴. 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 (Ft. TAFox & TaigaTonic)

𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰! 𝘞𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘰: 𝘈𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘷𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺’𝘴 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳, 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 [ 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘋𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘴 ] 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘕𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦, 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 [ … ] 𝘩𝘮…𝘰𝘥𝘥… 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘯? 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭? 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘰!!! 𝘸𝘩𝘰.

TAFox as Sarah (& Pomni)
TaigaTonic as Kinger

Grasman as Caine

Written and Produced by Teimunity 
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles!

Kinger vs. Sarah • Analog vs. Anything.

Suction Cup Man • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

Hey, I wrote you a song!

“Suction Cup Man’s coming around and you know he’s getting lit!
Stinkermeaner’s a whiny old little bitch who ain’t getting shit!”
Now typically, I leave dummies like my cups; red as shit
But honestly, you’re more like a plunger, cus you can’t get a grip! (YUH!)

So whadday ya, gay? Why did you step on those jays and then ask for a run back? 
Had the crowd shouting ya name, then you got sent to your grave? (heh) DUMBASS
You tried to walk up until Robert rocked you, now ya soul went to hell saying “look at me go!”
The difference between you and me going under? The devils not currently FUCKING MY SOUL

Stinkmeaner • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

White boys mocking my shit, y’all mad at me? they can suck my dick 
Buddy ain’t climbing the ranks, cus ya climbings rank, imma tower all over yo shit
I’m not a villain, I’m a cancer that got cancer, now I’m stuck
You really picking fights with the handicapped? bros ableist…BUT I’M ABLE TO FUCK HIM UP

(AY, AY) Bro’s washed like Cinch (AY, AY) The fuck did you think?
(AY, AY) Can’t call me gay, when you filled all the holes in your life with dicks!
Rippin’ off South Park, shit couldn’t be me, boy, I look too clean, nobody can stop it
Since you like to blow missiles, come and climb my red rocket!

Suction Cup Man • Verse 2: (8 Bars)

(Oh-ho-ho-ho!) Don’t do-si-do with ME, Grandpa, professional hating’s ya damn job
I can do anything, fuck the damn law! Bitch, you struggle with putting ya pants on!
And like honestly, unc, what the fuck is ya problem? You go around screaming out “fuck life!”
You’re a dick! *strumming* so why don't ya suck mine!!! (BITCH!)

Suction Cup Man can’t be remade or replaced by the CIA (YUH!)
While you were recreated in a day and not one thing changed (NOPE!)
So come back with a better plan, cus I can NEVER get smoked (NEVER!)
Till then, I’ll see ya when I’m back in Hell: LOOK AT ME GO! (HAHAHA!)

Stinkmeaner • Verse 1: (8 Bars)

You sung yo sawn song but I want an encore, RUN IT BACK!
‘Fore I strum that ukulele a full note up ya’ ass!
Trust there’s layers to this shit, cus on a track, I’m mixing
I got moves like Mike Tyson, you got beat by a pigeon! 

Should’ve stuck to plushie, ya big softie, now I’ll leave you open
Barbecue a flank of unseasoned meat, cus boy, I’ll freakin’ smoke ‘em
I ain’t NEVER lost a single battle yet, and that’s on fonum
Never put a white boy ‘gainst a DEMON in a nigga moment! (ya BITCH!)

Well fuck you! 
The fuck? Fuck you!
Fuck you too!
Fuck you three!
Wha-you can’t just steal my schtick, fuck you!
Aww you gonna get mad? Fuck you!
…
…
ya motha’

Stinkmeaner vs. Suction Cup Man • RAP BATTLE! (TRB)

Not mine, this audio belongs to GamingPlush64
JustGamer as Ralsei
AjisaiVA as Chiaki Nanami

Ralsei:
Greetings, Ms. Nanami!
It's wonderful to meet you!
It is clear I must try to defeat you, sorry in advance
There's no chance you will make me the P2
I won't let you mess with my game like a weird route
Sharper than the spear used by your friend in that blaze
When you sent your grenade in... oh, forget what I'm saying!
There's only gonna be a single end to this game
And I got backup from my friends
Because I never betrayеd them, come now
Therе's nothing to be afraid of, Kris
What we faced is way more dangerous than this one gamer kid
That was my verse, I hope you thought it was nice
Now close your eyes and just picture how Chiaki'd reply

Chiaki Nanami:
(Yawn) Sorry, I must have been sound asleep
I guess that's what happens when you count on sheep
You're not the GOAT, just an object with a conscience
Call this battle the funhouse 'cause I'm locked in
You can't touch this, you'll just raise my TP
Then I'll cast an ACT, send you under like you're ET
This'll be a brief case, hit you with my raps and
You're nothing but clothes that I'll fold away;
That's how I pack, man.
Leagues above your legend in this mundane matchup
Couldn't get onto my level with your fun gang stacked up
And what this plush hides got Undyne in the Knight's sight?
Should have told Kris your villain dies by a night light
Frankly, there's too much doubt for me to trust you
Don't bring up your fluff, I do not want to touch you
Last time a chef got clingy, he met my fist
But if I did hit you you'd probably like it

Ralsei:
So that's why... Ah! Your quips were just amusing!
That was sarcasm, I picked it up from Susie
Sorry, Ms. Nanami, but I just ain't quitting
I don't mean Akane when I say "hit it!"
I'm here to serve, that's what my role entails, I won't lose sight of my goal
While this troll has failed (That's right!)
You're not a true leader to the friends around ya
Better that a glue eater would just keep her mouth shut
I love my friends, they're the world to me
We do everything we can to be the perfect team
You're just a spy made to observe the teens
Trying to hide you're in security
So I dedicate this rap to send your foundation a message
You can never write off what is found within THE LEGEND
Don't Forget to breathe, there's no doubt I left you breathless
The lines that I dropped wiped you out like it was Tetris!

Chiaki Nanami:
It's good you're speaking up, didn't hear what you said, though
The hymns of this headband are nothing to my headphones
Even so, it doesn't matter how you say it is
I'm about to get the high score in the game you're in
I sacrificed myself so all my friends could have a life
You're passing off a batch of lies so your friends remain pacified
I'll pass the CHECK, I already know I have the lines
To take down another soft and fluffy black and white mastermind
Laugh behind your hand as you talk behind the back of SOULs
You casual
This lackey's a repackaged blackened Asriel
So bow to me if you want to talk active roles
Cause it's Game Over!
I'd say Toothpaste Boy has been rolled

Ralsei vs. Chiaki Nanami. DGPRB.

Made by Team Innovative as part of the 100 Hour Challenge : )

Cole as Kris
AdamDRB as Scott Pilgrim
Walk as (Proceed)
Beat by Diamond Style
Beat Arrangement by Walk
Mixed by Light
Written by AdamDRB, Cole, Walk, and Valonide 
Edited by Valonide, AdamDRB, Cole, and Walk
Art by Valonide and Cole
Additional Assets by Atara Gracia, AsepriteRico, and ItzDFPlayer

Kris:
Scott Pilgrim!
You weak-minded villain.
You earned all of that LV and then spent it on children
Wanna use Knives? You’ll be at the end of mine
I’ve come to check and strike all your Precious Little Lies

You lead on and leech
You’re a creep and pretentious
You sleaze like your brains preinstalled with cheat engine
You sleep with girls out of your league, they regret it
And you’re just another ex by the time the weeks ended

Every chance you’ve wasted, every heart you’ve broken
Spending their every moment like they’re arcade tokens
You don’t control me,
When you see a girl that’s lonely
You only choose the path that’s easiest 
(PROCEED)


Scott Pilgrim:
Enough from the punk; it’s Me verse World
But aw man, this sucks… I don’t like hitting… giiiirls…?

mmm 😬 sorry I have another line
(TAPE REWIND)

Enough from the punk; it’s Me verse World
You did a WHOLE VERSE about me getting girls!
So get your hands away from Noelle, you perv!
I think Her and Susie are probably the L Word!

Your brother gets those trophies, sheesh, a whole lot
You don’t got any of your achievements unlocked (fucking DING!)
You never got kissed damn, you dress like a bitch, man
And with that sweater that you wear, does Berdly call you Kris-Chan?

(WOOOO) I heard that your mom is abuuusive 
It’s cause her son is a loooser who doesn’t ever do shiiiit
The son that she wanted
Is off to his college
And now you’re just lost bitttch
Alone and forgotten

This is the savior who will bring the people healing
But instead they’re busy scheming with freaky back alley dealing
Seedy little creep who freakin’ reeks of grease and apples
You’re no hero, you’re an anti-social incel and an asshole!


Kris:
She’s 17, Scott, that’s who you chose? 
Not even old enough to go and drink at your show
Envy dropped your ass for some chode on a dime
You were so milquetoast she dates a vegan out of spite

With every adaptation, the prophecy stands
Scott Pilgrim wants girls, and then Takes Off His Pants
You and your bass playing sucks, you have a shit band,
And also? I don’t fucking look like Chris-Chan.

Don’t act like you know me (PROCEED) I have friends- 
You went solo (PROCEED) it leveled up your whole team 
I'll get the world roaring we can see whose bands the loudest
Now I’ll stab you with such passion that your heart will be a fountain

Scott Pilgrim:
Let’s get this straight!
I don’t know how, this’ll age
But all of this is shit is
like really really gay
Keeping track of everything's a pain
I just wanna say I hate the player and the game!

This goes to the dick behind the screen!
Go the hell outside and get some vitamin D! (douchebag!)
Toby said it best and there’s no use pretending
Your choices never mattered cause THIS only had one ending!


Kris vs. Scott Pilgrim - Rap Battle

Starring
TCMZiggy as Shaggy Rodgers
Mat4yo as Tintin
Fle as Scooby

Shaggy and Scooby:
RUH ROH! SHAGGY, you’re heading right into a boobie trap 
Like Scoob, that’s Tin Tin! Let’s show him how Scooby Raps!
I’m all for beating bad guys, but his pastimes are pitiful
Like, keep on shooting Rhinos and take a seat with the criminals 
Like, you must’ve left your animation on the Hammock
Spitting fire on this boat, like, hot flow that’ll cause mad havoc  
Shaggy he’s a reporter! Like, would you note this for later;
Capture our good sides, when you put your loss in the newspaper! 
Like, Scoob, it’s up to us to crack this mental case
Who’s more insensitive than his depictions of race 
Jeez, like, I can’t stand to look at this blank slate 
It looks like Hergé forgot to finish your face 

Tintin:
Are you sick of your cross-over flicks; I can tell that you’re fed up
'Cuz those rhymes were so dry, did I land in another desert?
An adventurous detective; you ain't hard as Tin Tin  
I can send this slacker packing just sharing my LinkedIn
Let it sink in, we won’t need Velma to deduce
you’d be shagging on the sofa; either way you Screwed the Pooch
You’ve split up so many times, but could never get a clue 
Sorry, but in every story, you’re most useless in your crew
Why am I not surprised this flimsy Hippie’s out of whack
Firing back like Fred’s Traps; endangering this giraffe 
Talking to your dog, right, what are you eating kid? 
It’s no mystery Scooby Snacks pack a secret ingredient 

Shaggy:
Zoinx! It’s a g-ghost! It’s a mask Shaggy, see!
Like, Boy do I feel dumb, it was his personality! 
When it comes to catching monsters; It’s not just ghosts we’re after
Like, there’s nothing quite as terrifying as your motion capture 

Tintin:
Speaking of movies, Scoob, which director sounds the worst
The mind behind Schindler’s list, or the guy who directed Smurfs? 
You almost had me convinced you could flow to this Captain
You’d have gotten away with it if not for your awful rapping

Written by Fle, Mat4yo, and Dustin

Scooby and Shaggy vs Tintin. CMRB

Welcome to the series premiere of Objects vs Anything! In this fearsome battle, we have the first president of the United States, George Washington, engaging in lyrical combat against a washing machine. Who will win? Listen to find out!

OBJECTS VS ANYTHING
GEORGE WASHINGTON
VS
WASHING MACHINE
YEP.

George Washington:
This reads not like a battle, more a chore of a weekly visit
When all you’re good for’s washing the red I left on the coats of the British
Want something that’ll make your head enter a spin cycle? Well here, peasant 
You could never revolve without the revolution I spearheaded
I fought for my Rights, got my face on the Bill
Fall to my might, you’ll be leaking yourself
Step to me, your insides get chopped
You’ll be left like a child using you as a hiding spot 
I may have died but look at how I croaked
We all know I’m ill when I rap from my throat
This battle shall read like my inauguration, I’m winning this bitch by unanimous vote

Washing Machine:
Come at me, George? You’ll sustain damage of sorts you can’t afford
Because with skill, you’re more starved than your fellow soldiers in Valley Forge
But all I need is to take one glance at your dirty laundry, son
You’re only good at racial cleansing, call you white-Washington
(Oh!) Big wigs ain’t scaring me
This dude’s been a hack since the cherry tree
This flow, you shouldn’t be crossing, kid
You’ll get whipped like you’re building your monument
While you were out in the war, such a bad leader even the French made you tap out
Ask Martha if you were the only Washington with wood in your mouth
I’m a washing machine and I come in so clean, you’ll bobbing to me cause my bars are so heat
This old Washington freak may have got a DC but on top of this beat, he ain’t fathering me
Bro you used to be known as America’s savior, now scandals cause vandals to spark your erasure 
Now your only history left that remains are the dollars that people come to me to pay with

George Washington:
Oh please, the rope in my lawn is more effective with lines, sir 
I’d call this battle a wash, but your style couldn’t be dryer
People get mad at you when you make a sock lose its place?
Let’s see how mad you get once I leave you socked in the face
I kept the states United in a time of crisis
You’re a wrinkle getting crushed by a fist of iron
First damn president to set foot into office
Meanwhile, it’s a given, your rap noise: obnoxious
Once I’ve left this dysfunctional apparatus burned with rhymes
It won’t take any suicidal web challenge for me to turn the Tides

Washing Machine:
Were too pussy to take sides in any of the Father’s tons of feuds
God damn, even George Washington Carver has more nuts than you!
Call you washed up ‘cause your fame will drown
Threw out the king, so how can you take the crown
Rather alone than in bad company? Hardly
You couldn’t get invited to a political party
No treaty’s enough to defeat me, so now let’s see what your eulogy’s going to read
First in war, first in peace, and first to be cleaned up by the flow machine

WHAT WON?
WHAT’S NEXT?
I’LL PROBABLY DECIDE THE NEXT MATCHUP BUT IF I LIKE YOURS IT’LL BE DONE AND YOU DECIDE THE WINNER!
OBJECTS VS ANYTHING

Snakebite126 as George Washington
Freshy Kanal as Washing Machine
Mixing and Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Child Hiding Spot line written by GamingPlush64
Written by Snakebite126 and Commander Jacob
Additional writing help from Eddiefrb
Beat by Hala-X

That about covers it. I have some ideas cooking up for the next installments, but feel free to suggest your own ideas and if they're good, I'll do them! Smell you later, alligator. ;)

George Washington vs Washing Machine - Objects vs Anything [SERIES PREMIERE]

After a long hiatus, Snakebite126 Rap Battles of Inside Things finally gets a name change because what a fucking stupid name that is. It also comes back with a battle of epic proportions between the mystical writer, The Rap Battle Fairy, and the fecal thief, The Shit Goblin, in a battle of the FRB cryptids.

Cast:
The Rap Battle Fairy as themselves
The Shit Goblin as themselves
Mixing and Mastering - Freshy Kanal
Beat produced by Anywaywell

Lyrics:
The Rap Battle Fairy:
Looks like it’s time for me to once again take flight
As all of FRB dozes off in their dreams 
This mystical entity appears in the night
To write a verse against the one who put them all to sleep (Let’s go)
It’s the Rap Battle Fairy coming out the gate
‘Gainst a crack addict bearing tons of pounds in weight
Oh, with just a swish of the wand
I got the power to make any verse bippity bop
And while you’re screaming at your victims to start hitting the quan 
Man, your trials are just errors and I’m leaving ‘em plunged 
And is the fact that you work a job at Walmart a shock?
‘Cause from your traps and voice tapes, you’re just a bargain bin Saw

The Shit Goblin:
Fucking dies 
Now I may not be the Jizz Demon, but please start retreating or you’re really gonna get fucked
I’ll let my voice go louder, kid you don’t-don’t matter, better hope your bladder doesn’t go and splatter
‘Cause from all the living creatures that this pro’s encountered, you’re the only one I won’t be taking shit from
Bitch, what? The Shit Goblin’s hip-hoppin’ 
You’re in deep shit once I kick off, this pimp’s poppin’
You hear the night’s calling and it prompts your arrival
But my speeches will leave you dipping this call like my disciples 
You got your grand start from Pyro vs Memeulous
And yet the best verse was the only one that Felix did
You only make rounds when you have to make up a diss
But I’m more than used to fairies taking the piss

The Rap Battle Fairy:
The Piss Fairy, huh? Well those jokes were piss poor (Yeah)
When I’m taking number one, it’s the Best Writer awards
Plus I’m honestly surprised that you’d think I’d be that threatened
By Danganronpa with a scat fetish (Whoo!)
I’m so fly, your insanity’s boundless
Call Rosie to leave her son reality grounded
Poor stranger, I’m leaving you wrecked with my magic raps 
Cause a flanger is the only effect that your rapping has
As we’re battling, once you see how hard my pen game hits
This’ll be like your third trial tape, you’ll never make it
My bars get songs on playlists, so far I gotta say this
If you’re trying to make movements on the mic, I guess you’re constipated

The Shit Goblin:
Wanna beat me, bro? You need to start over
I’ve seen more appealing flow come from the Barf Ogre
You got left like my minions, stuck, enslaved and
Now you can’t escape the chains of Dustin’s basement
Yeah, I got homies in FRB that’ll clip your wings
I’m a rapper, I’m a rebel, yo it’s Shitty G
Once you’re with hit with bars so heavy like plip-plop
It’s fitting a piece of shit like yourself gets dropped
I’m a stone cold killer and I’m so conniving
You ain’t no dope winner but you’re so bold trying
The immortal, living since before your time
Whose getting sold your spirit, bitch your soul’s all mine
And the minute that you started getting deadlines
Half the scripts you rushed all ended up with dead lines
So don’t challenge me with your lame flows
This battle’s like all your other commitments - shoulda learned to say “no”

Anyways I'm leaving the community now because I am never topping this.

The Riddler vs The Zodiac Killer. Snakebite Rap Battles

Snakebite126

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