This music is for challenging junctures, when we have more questions than answers. I made this album of reimagined Jewish prayers to say we can re-work, but we cannot obliterate; matter just does not behave that way. It is my hope that the music greets you with resonance and respect, that it can be a source of clarity in these increasingly unnerving times, and that your whole self can stand before these songs and say “Hineni“ — here I am.

Daniela Gesundheit - Alphabet of Wrongdoing

...filled with Motherlove, the thousands within... 

Adonai, Adonai is a text that anchors the Selichot prayers — the prayers of forgiveness in the High Holiday liturgy. The text also appears in Exodus as a how-to for redemption and re-alignment after missing the mark. There is a softness to the language and imagery of this offering that is uncharacteristic of the voice of God in the Old Testament. Images of God “filled with Motherlove” and being “slow to anger” provide the first clues about how we might choose to behave when we inevitably embark on our own forgiveness odysseys. The tone of the prayer is aspirational, hopeful even. 

Pursuit of the ideal is not a fever that evaporates when we feel better, but, as Louise Glück writes, a “second heart” — the earthy, bloody source of our vitality, fueled by an invisible electrical tic that relents only once in our lives.(10) Galvanized by our second hearts we try on the finery of divine forgiveness to see how the fabric feels against our skin, how the words taking shape in our mouths might, in turn, transform us. 

  יְהוָה יְהוָה אֵל רַחוּם וְחַנּוּן אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם וְרַב-חֶסֶד וֶאֱמֶת נֹצֵר חֶסֶד לָאֲלָפִים נֹשֵׂא עָוֹן וָפֶשַׁע וְחַטָּאָה וְנַקֵּה
	

YHVH filled with Motherlove, slow to anger, gracious, great in covenantal love and truth: Keeping love for the thousands within, forgiving iniquity and transgression, the missing of the mark, and acquitting.

Daniela Gesundheit - Thirteen Qualities / Adonai, Adonai  שלוש עשרה מידות הרחמים

HIGHLIGHTS : 
String arrangement by Owen Pallett performed by the Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra (Oleg Kondratenko, conductor), Alex Lukashevsky-the-Ancient's voice in minyan, Johnny Spence's disintegration synth, Jason Sharp's weeping saxophone, Dan Misha Goldman's eternal guitar."The touch of forces …"

DESCRIPTION:
Avinu Malkeinu is kind of the patriarchal anthem in the Jewish canon. A choir of atoning congregants stands together to address God as “Our Father, Our King” while petitioning ‘Him’ for various protections and favors. In the progression of the liturgy, this prayer seems to give voice to the toddler mind of atonement. It portrays a worldview wherein we must rely on a punitive FatherGod to bring us everything we seek, and all that we are empowered to do is tremble before Him with prayers on our lips. 

There is, thankfully, an evolution of understanding of the mechanics of atonement as we make our way through the prayers in this collection. Later in the album, God takes on attributes of a “womb-gentle father.” And most importantly, we see the text start to reflect an understanding that to petition a supernatural entity to fulfill our wishlist of earthly desires is to miss the mark. The act of tefillah (often translated to prayer, but which more specifically means self-evaluation) helps us turn inward again and again, encountering and re-encountering the concentric circles of our individual and collective psyches. We no longer need to beseech a FatherGod for what we want because we can transform ourselves into people of integrity. 

As my musical collaborators and I set out to render Avinu Malkeinu, we noticed that the arrangement started to resemble a wrestling match. There are moments of aggression, exhaustion, submission, and return. Throughout the prayer, I continually wield my voice like a glacier — slow, effectual patience — against the staid mountains of patriarchal lineage. Some of the instruments in the piece behave as aggressors and some are a sonic balm. There is no clear victor. 


אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ חָנֵּֽנוּ וַעֲנֵֽנוּ כִּי אֵין בָּֽנוּ מַעֲשִׂים עֲשֵׂה עִמָּֽנוּ צְדָקָה וָחֶֽסֶד וְהוֹשִׁיעֵֽנוּ: 
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ חָטָֽאנוּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ אֵין לָֽנוּ מֶֽלֶךְ אֶלָּא אָֽתָּה
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ חַדֵּשׁ עָלֵֽינוּ שָׁנָה טוֹבָה
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ הָפֵר עֲצַת אוֹיְבֵֽינוּ 
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ כַּלֵּה דֶּֽבֶר וְחֶֽרֶב וְרָעָב וּשְׁבִי וּמַשְׁחִית וְעָו‍ֹן מִבְּנֵי בְרִיתֶֽךָ 
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ סְלַח וּמְחַל לְכָל עֲו‍ֹנוֹתֵֽינוּ 
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ הַחֲזִירֵֽנוּ בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶֽיךָ
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ שְׁלַח רְפוּאָה שְׁלֵמָה לְחוֹלֵי עַמֶּֽךָ
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ כָּתְבֵֽנוּ בְּסֵֽפֶר חַיִּים טוֹבִים 
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ כָּתְבֵֽנוּ בְּסֵֽפֶר פַּרְנָסָה וְכַלְכָּלָה 
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ כָּתְבֵֽנוּ בְּסֵֽפֶר זְכֻיּוֹת 
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ כָּתְבֵֽנוּ בְּסֵֽפֶר סְלִיחָה וּמְחִילָה 
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ חֲמוֹל עָלֵֽינוּ וְעַל עוֹלָלֵֽינוּ וְטַפֵּֽנוּ
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ פְּתַח שַׁעֲרֵי שָׁמַֽיִם לִתְפִלָּתֵֽנוּ
אָבִֽינוּ מַלְכֵּֽנוּ עֲשֵׂה לְמַֽעַן בָּאֵי בָאֵשׁ וּבַמַּֽיִם עַל קִדּוּשׁ שְׁמֶֽךָ 


Our Father, Our King — 
We have done wrong before You. 
Let this be a good year for us. 
Destroy the power of every oppressor. 
Remove from all Your children disease, war, famine, exile, and destruction. 
Forgive and pardon all our wrong-doing. 
May we return to You in earnest repentance. 
Send complete healing to all who are sick. 
Inscribe us in Your book for a life of goodness. 
Inscribe us in the book of sustenance. 
Inscribe us in the book of meritorious acts. 
Inscribe us in the book of forgiveness and reconciliation. 
Show mercy to us and our children. 
Open the gates of heaven to our prayer. 
Do it for the sake of those who went through fire and water to honor Your name. 
Be gracious and respond to us, for we have too few good deeds; act towards us with justice tempered by love, and redeem us.

Daniela Gesundheit - Our Father, Our King / Avinu Malkeinu אבינו מלכנו

HIGHLIGHTS: Autoharp haunting by Basia Bulat, Lost-soul saxophone by Jason Sharp, and eternal guitar by Dan Goldman. Who shall have rest, and who can never be still? 


DESCRIPTION

“On Rosh Hashanah it is written, and on Yom Kippur it is sealed in the book of life — who shall live, and who shall die.” The ten days that transpire between the Jewish New Year and the Day of Atonement are of critical spiritual import. For these ten days the gates of forgiveness are open, and if we can examine our misdeeds earnestly enough, we might be inscribed in the book of life for another year.  

The genre of “In the New Year” is horror. The text outlines the various literal ways that we might perish in the coming year. Hearing this prayer chanted in synagogue when I was young felt chillingly similar to the way I felt clicking through the 3D slides of Thriller in my Viewmaster; the anticipation of knowing that, with every shutter of advancement on the little red device, the close-up image of zombie Michael Jackson with the yellow cat eyes could be the next slide. The prayer is meant to instill a sense of dread and urgency, to haunt and unnerve us. It is a confrontational, thundering gore, a reminder that we are going to die, a prod to consider the architecture of our days and the fabric of our desire. 


בְּרֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה יִכָּתֵבוּן, וּבְיוֹם צוֹם כִּפּוּר יֵחָתֵמוּן. כַּמָּה יַעַבְרוּן, וְכַמָּה יִבָּרֵאוּן, מִי יִחְיֶה, וּמִי יָמוּת, מִי בְקִצּוֹ, וּמִי לֹא בְּקִצּוֹ, מִי בַמַּיִם, וּמִי בָאֵשׁ, מִי בַחֶרֶב, וּמִי בַחַיָּה, מִי בָרָעָב, וּמִי בַצָּמָא, מִי בָרַעַשׁ, וּמִי בַמַּגֵּפָה, מִי בַחֲנִיקָה, וּמִי בַסְּקִילָה, מִי יָנוּחַ, וּמִי יָנוּעַ, מִי יִשָּׁקֵט, וּמִי יְטֹּרֵף, מִי יִשָּׁלֵו, וּמִי יִתְיַסָּר, מִי יַעֲנִי, וּמִי יַעֲשִׁיר, מִי יֻשְׁפַּל, וּמִי יָרוּם. וּתְשׁוּבָה וּתְפִלָּה וּצְדָקָה מַעֲבִירִין אֶת רֹעַ הַגְּזֵרָה.


On Rosh Hashanah it is written, and on Yom Kippur it is sealed: 
how many shall pass on and how many be created, who shall live and who shall die, who when their time comes and who before or after their time, who by fire and who by water, who by the sword and who by wild beasts, who by famine and who by drought, who by earthquake and who by epidemic, who by strangling and who by stoning; who shall have rest and who can never be still, who shall be serene and who torn apart, who shall be at ease and who afflicted, who shall be impoverished and who enriched, who shall be brought low and who raised high. 
But teshuvah, tefillah, and tzedakah
repentance, prayer, and just action,
have the power to change 
the character of our lives.

Daniela Gesundheit - In the New Year / B’Rosh Hashanah בראש השנה

Reclining in a chaise lounge of lagoon
a diminutive waterfall enclave
empties into the ocean. 

Fresh ginger flowers 
taut with sap
sigh perfume to process 
an exhaled trauma.
Euphoric quorum.

I let the sand and sun-warm spring water 
run over my hands.
I catch clams as they tumble
in the water like flecks of Yukon gold.

I explain their lifecycles aloud — 
the healthy clams clamp 
their shells shut very tightly
behave modestly, like chestnuts. 

Some are slightly ajar  
curiosity their killer
they become salt 
like Lot’s sweetheart. 
Others are wide open, yawning.
The creature slips out
the flesh is nacreous cantaloupe orange
swirls in the water like an oil slick.

I know it is precious, what I have lost
what I am losing 
not even a pearl to legitimize my longing
to anchor an inconsolable sorrow.

Daniela Gesundheit - My Cup Overflows / Cosi Revaya כוסי רויה

HIGHLIGHTS: Sarah Pagé's illumination harp, Jason Sharp's earthtone saxophone, Dan Goldman's eternal guitar, Alex Lukashevsky-the-Ancient's voice in minyan. "Time, and we, must unvow or vow differently as truth reveals itself anew…" Rabbi Richard N. Levy

DESCRIPTION: 

“To vow in the face of change — yet to change the face of vows when time’s new knowledge has changed the meaning of the vow: that is the double courage we would ask tonight, this night of Kol Nidre” —Richard Levy.

Kol Nidre is an Aramaic text recited on the eve of Yom Kippur — a legal declaration that annuls all the vows we made to ourselves or to God in the past year that we could not fulfill. The Cantor, flanked by Torah scrolls held aloft as symbolic witnesses, recites the prayer three times with increasing intensity as those present are emboldened to transform themselves. This piece insists that we deserve the dignity of a clean slate, even if we have missed the mark.

According to Jewish tradition, Kol Nidre does not recuse us from the work of untying the knots we have made with others — if we have harmed another person, we must approach that person directly to make amends. If we try three times and the person’s heart will not budge, we can let it go. Kol Nidre is a cloud that floats near us, threatening rain when we've become lazy or neglectful of our authenticity. 



כָּל נִדְרֵי וֶאֱסָרֵי וּשְׁבוּעֵי וַחֲרָמֵי וְקוֹנָמֵי וְכִנּוּיֵי. וְקִנוּסֵי דִּנְדַֽרְנָא. וּדְאִשְׁתַּבַּֽעְנָא. וּדְאַחֲרִימְנָא. וּדְאָסַֽרְנָא עַל נַפְשָׁתָֽנָא. מִיּוֹם כִּפּוּרִים זֶה עַד יוֹם כִּפּוּרִים הַבָּא עָלֵֽינוּ לְטוֹבָה. בְּכֻלְּהוֹן אִחֲרַֽטְנָא בְהוֹן. כֻּלְּהוֹן יְהוֹן שָׁרָן. שְׁבִיקִין, שְׁבִיתִין, בְּטֵלִין וּמְבֻטָּלִין, לָא שְׁרִירִין וְלָא קַיָּמִין: נִדְרָֽנָא לָא נִדְרֵי. וֶאֱסָרָֽנָא לָא אֱסָרֵי. וּשְׁבוּעָתָֽנָא לָא שְׁבוּעוֹת:


All vows, bonds, devotions, promises, 
Obligations, penalties, and oaths
wherewith we have vowed, sworn
Devoted, and bound ourselves
From this Day of Atonement 
To the next Day of Atonement 
May it come to us for good 
All these we repent us of them
They shall be absolved, released, annulled
Made void and of no effect
They shall not be binding 
Nor shall they have any power 
Our vows shall not be vows
Our bonds shall not be bonds
And our oaths shall not be oaths

Daniela Gesundheit - All Our Vows / Kol Nidre  כל נדרי

HIGHLIGHTS: Owen Pallett's all-seeing string arrangements, ignited by the Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra (Oleg Kondratenko, conductor). "Shout with all my inmost … our intimate forever."
DESCRIPTION: 

Hitbodedut refers to a method of spontaneous, authentic, private prayer initially encouraged by Rabbi Nachman of Breslov. Most Jewish prayer is communal, formal, a  deep dive in an ancient sea of scripted Hebrew prayers and poems. In Hitbodedut, one can seclude in nature and metal detect the ether for a personal knowing, a singular insight.

Daniela Gesundheit - Self-Seclusion / Hitbodedut התבודדות

Non-denominational devotional pop music from Toronto / Los Angeles. 

Daniela Gesundheit - Self-Seclusion / Hitbodedut התבודדות

Snowblink