Looking for it but gettin’ desperate again 😞

'87 Benz
I just sit back, I hit the gas
Ride through the wasteland broken down buildings and piles of trash
I moved as far away as I could to get away from the past
I'm just a scavenger looking for copper and metal to scrap
And I don't wanna be that, but I don't wanna be that
Pack up my bags like don't worry I'ma be back
Can't find no home I can't find anywhere that I wanna be at
Home's where the heart is but I'm fucking heartless so that don't mean jack
Kill my throat from all this nicotine and vapor I inhale
I never used to but this stress got me not doing well
Work so much but this self motivation it can be hell
I roll my mary and I just put myself up in a spell
My weak brittle bones, I need phosphorus
I just need some love but I can't foster it
And i do what I love but I just lost the bliss
They only show the love when it’s posthumous
Tell me it means
Tell me it means
Tell me your train of thought when you shut yourself off from me
Save it please don't talk to me
Please don't talk to me
I don't know what it was but something's been off with me
And I don't wanna be that, but I don't wanna be that
Pack up my bags like don't worry I'ma be back
Can't find no home I can't find anywhere that I wanna be at
Home's where the heart is but I'm fucking heartless so that don't mean jack

phosphorus (with brody)

wash my eyes and scrub my dirty skin and decontaminate
hyperventilate, my words ventilate 
this texas sun will char your skin until it wears away 
push the hand away  
push the hand away 

to those going through it right now i know it hurts
dont let that distract you from the fact that you have worth 
fairytales are darker when you peek behind the curtain 
the world out here will hurt you just be careful with your words 

we were never welcome in this world its arms were closed 
 we were never welcome in this world so whats the use
trapped in flesh and bone only leave home in mask and cloak  
and anyone ive told the story has apologized for you 

break me down to my last molecule and make me new
i never had that much connection with this stranger in my room
drag this empty bag of flesh and blood into its tomb 
feed me to the maggots till my carcass is consumed 

wash my eyes and scrub my dirty skin and decontaminate
hyperventilate, my words ventilate 
this texas sun will char your skin until it wears away 
push the hand away  
push the hand away 
(repeat)

decontaminate

Letdown

Rainclouds

i dont wanna hesitate
wanna go with what i feel
and i look at both my hands
just to make sure im still here
and i check my pulse heartbeat
just to make sure i can hear it 
and i find the closest mirror
just to make sure im still real 
so i force myself outside
and i crawl out from my cave 
and i hear whoosh of tires
and i feel wind on my face
and i zone out for a sec
cause i was thinkin of you
i was in this nice daydream
it was only just us two
and everything was so good 
and we lived a simple life
in a little house in the woods
with the birds and butterflies

cautious and delicate 
only if its right
only if its right
let me know if

if you wanna hang sometime
on the roof of your old house
we can sit and watch the sky
n find pictures in the clouds 
when im bored i think about
how wed sit and talk for hours
but it doesnt feel that long
wasnt even keeping count 
and we held our bodies close
and you said that i was warm
and i think about it sometimes
and how i want it more
and everything is so good
and everything feels just right
like ill wake up from this dream
and its only just one night

cautious and delicate

Youth Freestyle

Care

RA1N

Or At Least Thats What I Tell Myself

Timeout

Heartbeat

nothing much
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just happy to be here

Rainclouds

Softheart

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angelicblades

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