A song that helped me get my thoughts in line yesterday. Something simple and direct.. 

THE WHAT IF, IF I JUST, IF ONLY MONSTER

There’s a room where I keep all the bad stuff
The stuff that I pushed down inside
All the love I smashed up and threw away
All the dreams I broke and never tried
On the walls things I said and I can’t take back 
Are carved in the stone, written large 
And the instants embarrassment boiled out of me
Are preserved in neat pickling jars

Here’s the folded cloaks of jealousy,
I hid behind whenever I failed.
files of lies that I told, the grudges I hold
Names of people I hurt are detailed.
Though I try to keep that door tightly locked
To keep all those hid of sight.
Something’s not right, theres’ a crack, there’s a light
That door is opening tonight.

And out he comes with a hideous smile
And a look like he’s never been fed
Throwing the stuff out of the room
Confronts me with the things that I dread.

That “what if, if I just, if only monster”
Is prowling in my head again.
Scratching the away the paths to the light
Scares me back to the dark and its pain.
Where I’ll ponder and wonder and useless play out
All the ways that things might have gone.
And he’ll draw the connections and laugh when I see
That’s me that got it all wrong.

The what if, If I just, If only monster
Comes in the night and eats away
The desire, the strength to get out of bed
or the need to just care that its day.
And it’s not that I chose to build him that room.
Or beckoned him into my head
Maybe he’s been here since I was a child
And climbed here from under the bed. 

That “what if, if I just, if only monster”
Is prowling in my head again.
Scratching the away the paths to the light
Scares me back to the dark and its pain.


The What If, If I Just, If Only Monster

Something Memorable is Sean Doran's SoundCloud Name. 

Hi there. Go on.. push a play button and re-post something....while you read....

I've been on Soundcloud since Dec 2011 and it still amazes me how this community has helped me to improve my music and continue to write and play. It's the balance between the making music and the listening to the inspiration that the rest of you create, that makes it work. Thank you for sharing and thank you for listening.

I'm song writer and singer, continuing to learn and play, create and expand my capabilities. I'm very happy to write and record with others here on Soundcloud, I've enjoyed the collaborations that I've been involved with and they are where I learn the most. So, if you want a lyric or a vocal or fancy trying to collaborate on a complete track please let me know. 

My songs tend to be lyrics driven and my lyrics tend to come from ideas hinted at by words or phrases I hear or read. Once I'm writing I tend to start off in one direction and soon find the lyrics choosing their own. No matter how hard I push towards that pop, chirpy track.... I tend to come back something a little slower. Through I've been experimenting more lately. 

I truly believe everyone can write and should give it a go and so I'm happy to work with anyone.

I'm currently recording a combination of N2 pencil mics for acoustic guitar and a Aston Original mike for vocal. I have an M-Audio interface to my Mac and Logic X.

Born in Belfast, N. Ireland, but currently living and working from (Malaysia, India, Netherlands)North Norfolk in the UK.

I hope you'll like some of what you hear and that you'll leave a comment. Even if you don't like it, I'd love to hear why and what would make you listen again. Your comments make me better. 

शुभ कामनाएँ

Sean