Trying to write songs! Still getting used to how my voice sounds. Please listen with headphones.

Help me break the pattern of the centuries way before me
Of narcissistic men preying on your self-esteem and your body

Why do I attract broken people, why is loving you oh so evil, when do we begin to fall apart? 
Why did you have to be so deceitful, why couldn’t we all just be equal, why do you rely on me to repair you?
Sleepless nights and crying endlessly, holding in all this anxiety, while you talk to your friends who barely saw me
Constant arguments that you’d always win, loneliness that’s caused by your gaslighting, compassion that’s returned for your deliberate conniving

So this why I think before speaking, knowing that you’re always listening, and criticizing the things I have to say
But you’d go on on and on talking about philosophy and your pessimistic views
Meanwhile friends would sit around you, captivated and yet confused
But the worst thing they’d do, is turn theirs eyes to you and say I guess you silently support his view
But all I thought to myself was “fuck you”

Why do I attract broken people, why is loving you oh so evil, when do we begin to fall apart? 
Why did you have to be so deceitful, why couldn’t we all just be equal, why do you rely on me to repair you?
Sleepless nights and crying endlessly, holding in all this anxiety, while you talk to your friends who barely saw me
Constant arguments that you’d always win, loneliness that’s caused by your gaslighting, compassion that’s returned for your deliberate conniving

Break the Pattern

"... does not remember the footprints of birds" is vaguely about remembrance, and oblivion. Funny enough, I wrote this piece last spring (pre-pandemic times!), and forgot nearly everything about my process of writing the piece. I do remember, though, that I worked with a few small modules of ideas that acted in accordance with some sort of logic. Revisiting the peace after more than a year, I feel like the piece has very much taken its own meanings, and that the logic that brought this piece to life it’s just a thing of the past. So I’ll share an excerpt from a poem that the title is based on. It’s from 문병, written by 박준 (Joon Park):

아무것에도
익숙해지지 않아야
울지 않을 수 있다

해서 수면은
새의 발자국을
기억하지 않는다

Huge thanks to Ji Su Jung who commissioned me to write this piece and played it so beautifully!

This piece was performed by Ji Su Jung and premiered in April 2021 on the New Music New Haven concert series.

...does not remember the footprints of birds (2020)

아무도 이야기하지 않는 이슈에 대한 팟캐스트, 아이팟

무언가 중요한 이슈이지만, 선뜻 꺼내기는 힘든 이슈들.

꼭 짚고 넘어가야할 것 같지만, 밥 먹으면서, 카페에서 얘기하기 힘든 이슈들!

저희 호기심 많은 남자 둘이 한 번 파헤쳐보도록 하겠습니다.

♬BERKOP Radio :: 아이팟 1화

Read by the Oberlin College Choir in May 2018

Autumn Reflections

Composer
Yale School of Music '21
Oberlin Conservatory '18

...does not remember the footprints of birds (2020)

Soomin Kim

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