COMEDIAN (Lyrics)

The saints came marching in this morning
and they marched back out the door 
wholly offended 
No pun intended

They gave up God for Lent and liked it 
Declared Civilian War
No one’s relented
No pun intended

And I’ll be doing stand-up here all week 
I’ve learned to sign 
so the deaf can watch me speak 

The saints came marching back this evening 
and they fell right through the floor
That number’s ended
No pun intended

The Amen Coroner’s marching orders
got nailed to my front door
They’re all amended 
No pun intended

The King of the One Liners
had us thrilled 
Then came the punchline 
Now we want him killed 
 
And when he’s gone
Gone
Who gets the mic 
if it’s on? 

The buzzards are attacking 
our prayer kites
We lost the air war
Now we’re losing squatter’s rights

And when they’re gone
Gone
We’ll need a new 
comedian 

Man makes plans. God laughs.
Man makes plans. God laughs.

The King and I began a feud 
that time will not erase 
until he wipes that 
omniscient smile 
off his face 

The King and I are in a feud 
that time will not erase 
until you wipe that  
omniscient smile 
off your face 

And when it’s gone
Gone
It’s open mic 
Is this on?

And didn’t I thank you from the dais?
And didn’t I do you good?
And didn’t I take up all your crosses
that were made of balsa wood?

I kept my demons pent up so long 
the devil himself lost track
I’ve since repented
No pun intended 

We stormed the stage 
and occupied your place 
to wipe that all-forgiving smile 
off your face

It’s been there so 
long
Please welcome back 
the first, the last
Comedian 


Comedian - Steve Taylor & The Perfect Foil

Splint Entertainment