Comedy

Great selection of comedy snippets, stand up recordings, podcasts and more

Comedy - Silverman, Pardo, Mohr, Bamford, Buress, Ansari....

Funny

standup

Funny Business

Insanity

AOL chief executive Tim Armstrong fired Patch creative director Abel Lenz for snapping a photo during a conference call with employees on August 9, 2013. Transcript is at jimromenesko.com

AOL CEO Tim Armstrong (8/9/2013) Transcript at jimromenesko.com

Busy Being Awesome

Eat Your Carrots

Buy at iTunes!

Chad Daniels - Eat Your Carrots

George Carlin - 7 Words You Can't Say On TV

<a href="http://dreaminginthevoid.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><b>Dreaming in the Void blog</b></a> | <a href="http://soundcloud.com/dreaminginthevoid" target="_blank"><b>Other sounds</b></a>

"There is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?
The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!
We're going away. Pack your shit, folks. We're going away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.
(...)
I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while."
George Carlin
Source: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eScDfYzMEEw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eScDfYzMEEw</a>


George Carlin on saving the planet

I'm A Grown Little Man is Live From The Laff House Comedy Club in Philadelphia, PA

Arguing Back Home

Vaughan acts out a woman's crazy texting spree to a guy after 1 date. More Fletch & Vaughan stuff at https://www.facebook.com/FletchAndVaughan or twitter.com/fletch_vaughan and to see the youtube video go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaGFV0YJg-0 now with pictures! :D

This Is What Crazy Looks Like Via Text Messaging...

Watch the animated video at dumbwaystodie.com

Enjoy all the scenes from the video as animated GIF's on the tumblr dumbwaystodie.tumblr.com

Tangerine Kitty - Dumb Ways To Die

What would you do if you were having problems getting served at McDonalds or you had forgotten your laptop password?

For some West Midlands residents the answer was to dial the emergency only 999 number and ask for police assistance.

And the bizarre calls to the police don’t end there. Residents have called the three 9s for emergencies including lost property, asking for directions and when they’ve been denied entry to a nightclub.

But there is a serious side to these calls – the people ringing 999 for inappropriate reasons are potentially putting lives by taking call handlers’ time away from genuine emergency calls. Chief Inspector Sally Holmes from Force Contact at West Midlands Police, said: “These calls are ridiculous. Its astonishing listening to them but they hide a serious truth. Each call often takes minutes to deal with as our staff have to clarify the situation – it might not sound like much but if someone is trying to get through to report a genuine life or death emergency, then a minute is a very long time to wait.”

“I cannot stress enough that the 999 number is for emergencies only, for guidance this is defined as: a crime is in progress, someone suspected of a crime is nearby, when there is a danger to life or when violence is being used or threatened. To contact police for any other reason, call 101.”

I’ve forgotten my laptop password: Woman seeks emergency police assistance when she can’t access her laptop.

How do you dial 101?: Man calls 999 to ask how to dial the non emergency number.

A woman called Karen calls the wrong number then leaves a message on the answer phone demanding that Rachel pay her back her $20...  New Zealand. Classy.

Karen wants her moooooooooney!

Comedy Wonder Town

People In Space

Ryan Singer - People In Space

Animal Furnace

Bomb Water

Buy at Amazon!

Hannibal Buress - Bomb Water

Catalyst for Change

Just Psychotic

Rick Shapiro - Just Psychotic

Blind Ambition

Might Work But Prob'ly Won't

Darryl Lenox - Might Work But Prob'ly Won't

Some Audio Stand up comedy from comedian Davon Magwood.
Grab the Album here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/davonmagwood

I love gay bars

The best in edgy, thought provoking comedy. In the tradition of Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Joan Rivers and George Carlin. We like our truth straight up and bitter. We've been at it since 2000.

Hannibal Buress - Bomb Water

Stand Up! Records