DMCA LEARN FREE FROM Protocol V

THE PHOTOCOPIER LICH
(Undead Office Equipment with a Vengeance)

Role: IT Department/Knowledge Reanimator
Employee ID: #666-COPIER
Last Maintenance: Never

Appearance:
A mummified Xerox machine with glowing "Toner Low" eyes
Paper tray lined with the skins of forgotten memos
Exhales clouds of cursed glitter (labeled "Secure Document Confetti")

Xerox Lullaby (Toner-Stained Noon)

THE STAMP GHOUL
(The Ravenous Rubber-Stamp Horror of Floor 13½)

Role: Quality Control / Reality Notary
Employee ID: #REDACTED-BY-TEETH

Appearance:
A sentient rubber stamp with rows of jagged teeth where the ink pad should be
Body made of congealed approval forms (constantly dripping red tape)
Eyes: Two spinning "APPROVED/DENIED" wheels that never align

Notarized Nightmares (Ink-Stained Teeth)

THE CHAIRMAN OF THE VOID
(The Silent Partner in Cosmic Bureaucracy)

Role: Shadow Executive / Unseen Authority
Employee ID: [REDACTED BY OWNER]
Office Location: The space between filing cabinets

Appearance:
An empty three-piece suit that billows without wind
Tie knot contains a miniature event horizon
Gloves that leave negative-space fingerprints on every document
Face: A floating "PLEASE LEAVE MESSAGE" sticky note

The Silent Partner's Sonata (Empty Suit Nocturne)

TEAM V (The Protocol's Cosmic Consultant)

Role: Interdimensional Efficiency Auditor / Chaos Theorist
Employee ID: #V-Protocol-Ø (Classified: "ConsultantiquitDominates the bridge with glitching elevator-music-turned-dubstep
Backing vocals: A choir of clipped corporate jargon ("Synergy! Paradigm! Leverage!") autotuned to a haunting minor key


An Ordinary Cataclysm (The Building’s Lament)

The Solar Coalition