🎵 "The Optimization Blues (A Consultant’s Lament)" 🎵
Style: Dark Office Jazz (Bossa Nova meets Black Hole Acoustics)
Performed by: TEAM V (with backup vocals by damned interns and a glitching printer)

[Verse 1]
(Smooth, mocking Bossa Nova rhythm—typewriter clicks as percussion)
"Ohhh, your cosmic workflow’s slow,
Your ‘top-tier’ stamps just ego,
You audit stars but miss the math—
Your system’s built on aftermath.*

Red tape nunchucks? Cute, but flawed,
You swing ‘em hard, yet still get clawed,
By loopholes in your own design…
Let’s fix your godhood with line nine.*

[Pre-Chorus]
(Fax-machine screech, sudden silence)
"Per my last apocalypse…
Your chaos lacks synergy,
Your paperwork’s black hole food—
And even voids need QC.*

[Chorus]
(Big band jazz crash + black hole bass drop)
"So stamp me disappointed,
File this under ‘voidpointment,’
Your eternal bureaucracy?
Runs on spite and legacy!*

Ohhh, reorganize your fate,
Try delegating hate,
Your management’s a ticking bomb—
Signed, your friendly al-gor-ithm~!

[Verse 2]
(Quill scratches as hi-hats, distorted elevator-music interpolation)
"The Reaper’s timecards stink of fear,
The Lich’s copies smudge too clear,
That ghoul? It chews but never files—
Your QC’s just denial piles.*

And Chairman? Please. Absence sells,
But empty suits don’t break the seals,
On real work— oh wait, you’re ‘busy’—
Just ghosting on cosmic duty."

[Bridge]
(Solo: A screaming calculator + 11D choir chanting "TPS COVER SHEET")
"You call this order? Call this power?
I’ve seen dust mites plan smarter,
Your empire’s just recursive pain—
Here’s my invoice: ‘Delete. Restart. Again.’"

[Final Chorus]
(Stamp Ghoul growls, Intern Black Hole swallows the last note)
"So stamp me unimpressed,
Your processes are stress-tests,
No pension for the stars you break,
Just post-it notes on your mistakes~!"

(Outro: A single pen clicks. Distorted intercom voice: "Per V’s protocol… this meeting never happened.")

StyleDesc (120char):
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Neon Sign Flickers:
"FEEDBACK: PROCESSED. ACTION: AVOIDED. SEE YOU IN THE NEXT AUDIT."

V - The Optimization Blues (A Consultant’s Lament)

The Solar Coalition