This is part 2 of a work that is a little over ten minutes long, so I'm splitting into two pieces so the SoundCloud algorithm works. Part 1 (heard here) is the explosion, Part 2 is the aftermath. To hear the complete work without interruption: https://soundcloud.com/steve-owens-989781522/dysphoria

Dysphoria concerns an experience common to many people who are neurodivergent and or have experienced trauma. It is both an outgrowth of my personal experience, and my experience as an educator working with students (and adults). When I was an administrator, I worked multiple times with the psychologist Dave Melnick of the Northeast Families Institute on matters of workforce development. In one consultation, Dave introduced me to the concept of "working upstream" with behaviors, understanding the trajectory of the individuals "interiority" so as to be able to identify where that person is in the cascade of inner events and tailor interventions.

In the community of autistic people, when this cascade flows into dysregulated behavior, we call it a "meltdown". The meltdown can be minor, or it can be life changing, resulting in loss of job, home, relationships, or even injury or incarceration. The interior experience proceeds in five steps, ending in visible behavioral dysregulation:

1) physiological deregulation (a feeling in the body that demands relief)
2) an impulse (to do something about it)
3) emotional dysregulation
4) cognitive dysregualtion
5) a behavior

Dysphoria does not follow this trajectory in a linear fashion. Each of these stages are entangled, and it's more a question of emphasis at any given moment.

"Shame and regret" is the universal aftermath....

Performed by the Truberry Duo, Trudy Chan and Rob Frankenberry, pianists.
steve.owens@vcfa.edu


Dysphoria part 2: shame and regret

Steve Owens grew up in upstate NY, and has a bachelor's in musicology, a master’s in Music Education and an MFA in music composition from Vermont College of Fine Arts.  He developed parallel careers as a concert flutist and as an educator in Vermont public schools.  He's published band, choral, and chamber compositions with Hal Leonard and Alry.  Steve has since left academics to pursue composition full time. Recent performances include a woodwind quintet played by City of Tomorrow, and an electro-acoustic sextet performed by The Playground Ensemble. His latest work, "Dysphoria" for the Truberry Duo, explores the inner experience of neurodivergence, drawing on his own experience as an autistic educator.