it’s only real in the way that i feel from day to day - 3

Butterfly

Mix 2 is rendered with a deeper sense of freedom and release...

“I’m Not the Man I Used to Be” is a song about what happens after rock bottom — that quiet turning point where survival becomes transformation.
It’s the moment you stop running from yourself, stop fixing everyone else’s storms, and finally face the truth you’ve been carrying for years.

This track is about evolution…
About burning the old versions, breaking the inherited patterns, and choosing to rise anyway.
It’s healing, raw, honest — a reminder that scars aren’t failures; they’re blueprints for who we become.

I wrote this for anyone who’s ever rebuilt themselves from the inside out.
For anyone who’s carried ghosts, chased the wrong salvation, or lost a love that cracked them open.
For anyone who finally said, “I’m done hiding. It’s time to be me.”

If this song finds you at the right moment, I hope it gives you the same strength it gave me while writing it.

Lyrics:

I used to run from every shadow,
Hide my hurt behind a grin.
Played the joker, played the fighter,
Never let the real me in.
I carried ghosts like armor,
Thought the weight would set me free…
But all it ever really did
Was steal the breath right out of me.

I broke, I bled, unraveled—
But the fall taught me to see:
Somewhere in the wreckage
There was more to me than grief.

I’m not the man I used to be.
I’m standing here with open eyes.
No more running from the mirror,
No more swallowing the lies.
I walked through fire just to feel
My own heart beating honestly…
And now I know, for the first time,
I’m not the man I used to be.

I used to chase the wrong salvation,
Tried to save everyone I loved.
Fixed their storms while mine kept raging,
Built a shelter with no sun.
But something broke—and then I opened,
Let the truth come pouring in…
You can’t heal another’s damage
When you’re bleeding from within.

Lost, betrayed, awakened—
Every scar rewired me.
Pain became my teacher
And it finally set me free.

I’m not the man I used to be.
I’m stronger where the fractures are.
No more begging for acceptance,
No more worshipping the stars.
I don’t need the past to tell me
Who I am or who to be…
‘Cause now I know in every heartbeat:
I’m not the man I used to be.

I buried old illusions,
Burned the versions built on fear.
I lost a love that broke me—
But it brought me back to here.
Back to the center of my spirit,
To the man I couldn’t see…
Sometimes you lose your whole world
To find who you were meant to be.

I’m not the man I used to be.
I’m wide awake and breathing deep.
No more clinging to the memories,
No more sinking in the deep.
I walked through hell and learned to heal,
Learned that truth will set you free…
And now I rise, rebuilt, reborn—
I’m not the man I used to be.

Not perfect… just present.
Not broken… just free.
A little scarred, a little wiser—
But finally…
finally…

Imperfect

Stone Sour

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