icebox loop (inst.)

LATTER 

I have and will complete opening many doors today 
I love God unto death 
Having faith that Jesus will provide Life through his true reason
I am not. 
Here: 
1.
At his thought, I wandered into two perfectly flawed beings. 
One was of lofty knowledge 
One was of troubled understanding 
The one who was troubled 
Sought after the knowledge of the one who was high 
Rising up to meet them at their level
And the lofty one rose even higher to counteract
Yet the distance between them reduced drastically in a short time. 
I stood in awe 
Suddenly, 
Two became Three 
And Three became Four 
They altogether became the focus of my eyes 
To the point where they would mix and align in a way 
I could not discern who was higher than the other.
2.
God bless my instructor 
Because i truly told him everything 
As if a therapist 
And his answers were methodically perceiving
He truly loves my own insanity 
And accredits it to God by simply accepting me in his lense
Truly to him, on the other side of the class 
He will enjoy picturing the beings on his two shoulders  
3.
****, is a man who has authority over the grasshoppers, consuming the green as he is robed in white 
My robes are pitch black 
Together I hope 
People can perceive 
We shed the same blood 
Innocently defending the favored party 
And me innocently defending the smaller, scorned party 
We turn away from each other 
Raising a hand to paint unity 
With discord in the back of our minds 
You may not yet find wisdom looking at me 
But you surely will find yourself 
The audacity to say "I don't know a thing" 
When im trying to teach the raw love of the gospel 
Before the Law even becomes a factor
Be glad I have heard that from everybody in my vicinity 
For a long 6 years straight. 
This type of love is much suited for those who pass by 

4.
I saw black, hovering near the pinecones 
In the midst of my concern for my officially expelled loved one
Immediatley God began speaking to me 
As a powerfully mysterious equal 
And my considerations become secrets 
What I know becomes what I want
And when I see them like this
I turn down the truths of your premonitions 
There is something greater than me 
That you need to love much, much more 
It needs to overpower you 
Admit Jesus Christ over anything you see him do in me.
Proverbs 3:9-10 
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FORMER
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Ah. I lost the last excerpt entirely because of a bug 
I deleted some comments because of thinking too spontaneously, and energetic refusing to externalize my desire but internalizing it when it needed to be properly starved. 
I had a bad rebellious energy waking up tonight 
But was reconciled

I wanted to prioritize my physical and spiritual health before I jumped into music, or promotional ideas 
or else
I’d finish a song and find leisure again 
—
I don’t know if God would have qualms with the absurd hints I had for the show joke 
But i assume that was the bad energy 
Maybe I’m wrong, it’s too dark and I haven’t read yet 
He’s encouraged me to break several boundaries in my music already, so the idea stems here, I’ll get personal with my imitated identity
Before the fall there was only “vegetation”
No killing, No death 
After the fall and the promise 
To these people who lived 
Every thing that lived and moved was food 
The world was theirs, in their time 
For one to love God with all his being at that time 
Is to ultimatum with God in obedience 
I sacrifice the merit, the spirit behind all these things 
To the sovereign God 
If “satanic” music plays, “satanic” events happen
I’ll make God infinitely more potent in the same portrayals 
I pose in the bloodbath  
For the food of the world is still always a sacrilege 
I imagine the purging 
I revel in their false evil instead 
Everything ultimately serves God 
And if he loves me so
It’s a catering
Perhaps in the garden 
I knew the manna was good 
And feared or despised, even sinned with almost everything else  
I grew in that sense 
If God tells me not to do something 
It should not be done 
And often it is his preferential submission he wants in the 10 commandments 
But now that Christ formed the perfect 2 
Physical reasoning is only for the viable reality 
The danger of indulging out of mindlessness 
That is what I’ve spent so long working on 
—
Dangerous permissive answers I was given that day 
Probably because I’ll always move safely at dark venues
I’d curb anyone who sneaks 
And deny anyone talking on the wrong foot 
Yet when I thought of ways I’d handle blind futures
The better things I thought I said after I left? 
God noted that it was for me alone to figure these things
—
I don’t mind my teeth 
My smile is fine especially at glance 
But I lost my retainer when I was younger 
In my dreams I was insecure about it with them.  
—-
But perhaps I checked the teeth of God in my passion
Taking into my voice the entirety 
Of that which is going to be undone 
And God taking the entirety 
Of my undoing 
Casually seeming
Saw how these things used to grind up the meal 
Were so orderless  
Comparative to the front 
Presenting itself visibly as spotless 
It is a brazen, curious translation 


And perhaps in the same room there was a shift in presence, 
and I looked at myself 
And thought that sharing a food like that 
And unveiling the origin of how my lust is functioning under my ideals 
Was very embarrassing 
But to have lust function over my ideals 
Has not been allowed to happen to me
Under the knowledge of the first 
I’d accept myself with reason 
Casually seeming 
And expose myself to a unity 
That is incorrect 
To take into myself with different cost 
My reputation 
Because what would theoretically be correct 
Is an exaction of death 
It is a haughty, self aware intaking
—-
“Turn these stones into bread” 
Everything from the mouth of God I will eat 
If I eat a stone, it is bread for me 
If I eat bread, it is bread for God.

Even before their existence was tandem 
God let me enjoy that mystery

To turn a man’s organs to the inside 
A writer would idealize what a woman would fantasize
The other should do that latter 
The identity causes androgyny


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footnotes
{No wifi/Low Signal streak:37 Days}

icebox loop (inst.)

STRAY