(Lyrics) 

Six ways to Sunday 
Dragging me down 
Don’t look at me now dear 
Let it devour me 
High up but I ain’t like to be too 
Geeked 
I can see the spirits as they high jack me
Feeling so much love I lost my controller 
Way too dark when my heart beats on solar 

It is how I’m wired?
When everything’s dependent on me…
I wanna look better 
Till I break us up 
And she kiss like Judas 
When he raise a cup 
Am I a God to say:
“Satan’s never better than me”
Baby I would have to die to be out of your league 
But Jesus, he needed more me 

I can’t wait 
for one to rely on 
Leaves me lone 
Wanna God-Test the Python 
Intercept our codes 
Asking “why God” 
Give up Ghost 
Lets bygones 
Be bygones 

Still it’s all automatic at a green light 
If she ride 
Pray to god we try to read right 
But I can’t lie 
Sex don’t really feed right 
But it’s all I really think about 
To be like 

I won’t give my best 
Even if I held her close 
She’ll never be like you 
And you do your worst 
To show me 
How I feel when I run from the truth 

(I’m afraid of what I write 
I always try to find the edge 
Of what hurts and what heals 
But it seems I’ve separated myself 
She was all I wanted 
But maybe it was the mixed signals I was looking for 
To validate an artform that could 
Steal people from the devil 
The people who crave love 
And have been abandoned by it 
They looked in the wrong places 
And I started to imagine 
If we, you and I 
Were the wrong places as well 
Am I close to you by being far 
Am I loving you through neglect
What was it like to have death forced upon you 
After you were shown the 2nd highest of loves? 
This dichotomy of Joy 
Perhaps is why I fear perceiving 
These voices 
These feelings 
It’s like I can’t control them)


There’s no thing I’ll want
That I’ve already lost 
Make exceptions for me 
I’ll reach with my arms 
Girl it breaks my heart 
was it evil to be 
I’m no longer in need 
I can save myself

Can I? 

You could say a thousand words
And I would stay in my own curse 
Cull myself in “love me firsts” 
And Turn my back on how you hurt 
Only just to hurt myself 
And try to bother no one else 
Justify the way you felt 
When I’m convinced I’m someone’s hell 

Rages in the rain 
Pistol whip the shame 
This worship doesn’t feel real to me 
Always do the most 
Always did the most 
Pick and choose in this or not at all 
Sweating rainbow steam 
Ice was underneath 
Callous bodies 
For the day the hand 
Was about a thousand pounds 
42 were down 
White enamel in my right hand 

Easy now 
How many loves 
Do you leave without 
Recognize inside your eyes
So deep in black 
Like my state of mind 
But what if they’re like me 
And God was in between us 
And saw that he was pleased 
would She look at Jesus 
Or only look at me 
Easy now 
How many loves 
Do we leave without?

Joy dichotomy

✝️______________✝️

Back then it was not time to read the gnostics. 
Now I am allowed to read the gnostics.

Bishop Irenaeus, after charging that the many Christians among his congregations in rural Gaul (present-day France) who treasured such writings were actually “heretics,” went on to insist that of the dozens of gospels revered by various Christians only four are genuine. And these four, Irenaeus declares, are the gospels now included in the New Testament, called by the names of Jesus’s followers—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. All the rest are illegitimate, because, he says, “there cannot be more than four gospels, nor fewer.”16 Why not? Irenaeus explains that just as there are four corners of the universe and four principal winds, so there can be only four gospels—which he seems to take as a kind of scientific explanation. To those who would ask, “Why these four?” Irenaeus declares that only these are written by eyewitnesses of the events they describe—Jesus’s disciples Matthew and John, or disciples of these disciples like Luke and Mark.

4/14/25 

Were the wings even mine? 
was I the force that was ascending unto heaven? 
Who am I to be given these things 
And claim that it is I who makes it so?
Not to mention my apathy for those who suffered an oppositely sensible awakening
God was fed up with me perhaps 
And spit me out. 
Yet with some odd sense of care and calm 
I only fell as far as earth 
Landing on green grass 
With others who descended to earth 
On a playground… 
Walking about 
At that time I was thankful for my life 
and moved away from the place with purpose 
But I heavily regret revisiting my memory  
For what I as a person 
Had missed out on 
The grace in this was 
That the world had remained in a way that I could not understand 
Whether it be partially destroyed by nuclear affair 
Or reformed 
Back to the world was I spared 
But as I experience it here 
I desire more to be spared from it  
I was so close. 
Always so close. 
That this spiritual pattern 
My finally break itself in my heart 
I can only pray. 
I phase to whispers of things 
Like a building in white 
With Jesus in intelligible font 
Written on its wall as if it were part of a Bible 
 And then upon the building, a 4. 
A number 4 began to create on the side of the building in which I viewed 
Written in rainbows.

My faith: 
God is behind whatever is hidden and whatever is made plain, and in human error God functions through authority, and is infinitely complete 
Everything I learn from this, I shoulder the burden 
And speak not of it promotionally
For God saw it was good to be.


-Excerpt of the prayer of the Apostle Paul-

Grant me your [mercy].
 [My] Redeemer, redeem me, for [I am] yours; 
I have come from [you]. 
You are [my] mind: 
bring me forth. 
You are my treasury: 
open for me. 
You [are] my fullness:3 
accept me. 
You are <my> rest:4 
give me incomprehensible perfection. 
I call upon you, 
you who exist and preexisted, 
in the name exalted above every name,5 
through Jesus Christ, [Lord] of lords, 
King of the eternal realms.6 
Give me your gifts, with no regret, through the Son of Humanity,7 
the Spirit, the Advocate8
 of [truth]. 
Give me authority, [I] ask of you, give [healing]9 
for my body, since I ask you through the preacher of the gospel,10 
and redeem my eternal enlightened soul and my spirit, and disclose to my mind the firstborn of the fullness of grace. 
Grant what eyes of angels have not [seen], what ears of rulers have not heard, and what has not arisen in the human heart,11 
which became angelic, 
made in the image of the animate God12 
when it was formed in the beginning. 
I have faith and hope
(…)

Why did Jesus call Peter Satan momentarily? 
Because he is the embodiment of flesh, spirit of its needs.

Joy dichotomy

STRAY