01-joe budden-dear diary

Gone huh game set match
I have no options because im treated like an option
Everyone is tainted
And i like my love like sensate spirit animal on top of cats in a blanket like huey talks to ghost face i pride myself on denying myself eyes for multiple people
Integrity faithfulness loyalty consistently 
Nothing more than a hand shake not even a twerk you can dance i dont share
Thats why im destined to be alone i dont go more than 3 years up or down
It dont matter the size really
Its no regina georges no dude from step brothers the brother no douche bags no racists no homophobes
I hate liars and if you have a kid stay far from me if you got multiple men in your phone dont even touch me i might have to shake your hand with a glove
Why do you want my attention when you have some one else giving you attention and loving you and your child.
And thats a force of nature i dont interfere with nature and i dont do ex games if you did it once youll do it twice.
I feed your shit back to you if you do me wrong im not gonna be mean im gonna keep it 4 k and 2 virgils with you authentically honest and auhnest with you.
Im destined to be alone
Because everybody got somebody for every occasion.
And i dont expect anyone to wait for me thats why i have no sadness anger or happiness ive almost died more times than i can count.
I dont expect empathy or sympathy 
Im drawn to people based on timing fated love doing the right thing when no ones looking.
I have a long twisted sad back story that involves
Me having cardiac arrest 3 foaming at the mouth seizures no family random people i did nothing to spitting on me and my name
Stabbed shot jailed explosions car crashes jumping out of planes being drugged surgeries piss poor doctors broken bones fires being raised in group homes house to house not having a pot to piss in separated 400+ miles from my family since 4th grade risking my life almost every other night. But im not sad im cold numb to it not ever seeing a dime of people getting rich off me. 
Racist crooked cops and being at gun point more times than i can count on my hand women lying about miscarriages rape having miscarriages abused as a child. Held hostage abducted. 
Aint shit anybody can donor threaten me with that can hurt me that i havent experienced.
And i pride myself on being the person that others pray to god they dont have to trade shoes with. Mountains snow subzero desert heat jungles all that. Drugged sexually assaulted i get it.
I fear no man who walks this earth im numb.
I cant bitch me i jumped out the casket 6 times what makes you think you can
I seek no one out but anything can happen im writing here so you understand where all my music comes from if you ever treated me like an option stay with who you chose.
Who im looking for is divinely supernatural a 1 in 7 billion
Who im 4 years and counting waiting for i promised myself 4 years ago i wouldnt even hug anyone that wasnt who was meant for me. And i know im not going to find them im cool either way
I told my exes i dont even want them to think about me or speak to me if we ran into each other on accident.
Its cool where im going not everyone can or is willing to follow. 
Stay far from me if you got somebody else and im not going to let you tempt yourself 
Its purely fate.
And im not going to seek you out you have to talk to me and im going to keep waiting dont be sad if i curve but dont think i wont befriend you gotta earn my attention i put time in waiting to meet who im looking for that mutually wants to spend time and i hate having my time wasted.
If you wanna get money we can get some money.
Im not crazy or thirsty i dont have a gun cuz you cant buy someones passion id rather black smith my own if i needed one.
This is that 1 in 7 billion love if you ever hooked up with anybody i know you dont have a chance im telling you now.
I never met my first love someone else always in the situation cuz they cheated or im an option
Nothing to lose
Dont let me out work u

01-joe budden-dear diary

SuchaBAMF