Kept this one unreleased for several months, considering releasing as part of an EP or on label. This has been on work on and off in span of 1 year (23/3/13 ~ 24/7/6), and over 41 hours are spent.

It started as a school project for my high school music class. Yes, Minatory is played on school. I was supposed to "play" instrument live, so I did little performance and turned channels and effects on/off and adjusted it while my DAW is playing on loop.

I embarrassed myself one moment but I think that's okay because none where understanding it. In fact, I treasured this project. It proved me that I can produce something not by a chance, but by my will.

Only natural thing to do after was fleshing out this loop into full track. It was virtually clip of a drop at that point, so I went for creating intro, buildup, follow up, etc. It had to be extraordinary, because I thought this project deserved it.

However it was not easy to come up with something I can be happy of, if standards were that high. Many ideas and melodies are made, some of them going on my vault of samples, some of them turned out to a track and released earlier before this was done. I eventually managed to finish this, with one revision later. That is the final version that is being uploaded now.

I loved working on this, and my love for this only grew since the beginning. It embodies evolution of myself as a artist, and as a person. The title means Nth breakdown, where N is an even number.

Late 2022, I was on brink of suicide. My belief at that time was full of despair. It was heartbreaking. I was struggling to functioning, that was the first breakdown. Now I went through second "breakdown". In sense my primary beliefs serving as my identity were broken down, for instance, 'the only way out is death'.

I don't know if I'll go through third breakdown and think again I should die asap, but if that were to be happened, there will also be fourth breakdown that will prove me wrong. So might as well keep holding onto life...

Even's Breakdown

sugardude