I wrote DUMP HIM for my very dear friend as a hopeful reminder of the fact that she's worth all good things in life and needs to let go of her current situation to not lose herself completely.

DUMP HIM

the people that ive seen
the places that ive gone
theyre all out of my head
the memories have gone

the friends that i once knew
that all have waved goodbye
and standing on my own
falling through the sands of time

please dont forgive
the actions that ive caused
and say unto yourself
the one you knew is lost

when youre on the mountain, im in the valley
if you drive back down please, stay with me

going through the downward spiral
and a job that pays for shit
driving home i see the sunset
wish you were here for this

you walked away
said you couldnt stand it all
and the more i want you back
the further I fall 

when youre on the mountain, im in the valley
if you drive back down please, stay with me

Time Changes [Demo]

# I. 

I'm picking the lock and coming through the door blasting 

Fuck forced intermittent fasting 

Past embalming slowly, for the time I'm only interested in what I can't believe

The opioid abusive relationship is what does deceive 

# II

The hope annoyed the fuck out of me, and I think I've taken it

To the extreme, but somebody's gotta be saying it-

-Is what the doctor ordered every time, was taken as prescribed 

Aside from Saturdays with tattered faces, left alone to die

# III

I will, I won't, I said I'd try

To play it safe just to survive 

Nuclear winter in my mind

And I'm not dressed in the right kind 

# IV

Of body bag to stay safe from the cold

To purge the new and keep the old

To fight to urge I have to scold

Myself for mistakes I've let flow

# V

In all these episodic bouts 

That I can't go a day without 

A manic maniac in pain 

In brain that's constantly in doubt  

# VI

Monsoon or it's a drought

Buried alive, maybe I'll sprout

Found the answers all blacked out

Maybe I'll find another route 

# VII

But I chase clout and pout in front of microphones then shout into the ether of my own creation

Searching for sedation

# VIII

Pacing back and forth as we approach 

Slam poetry beyond reproach

I wrote the wrongs and spoke the quotes

Caught the bus but forgot my coat

# IX

Got off and got onto the dope 

Got clean and shot a bag of hope

Went broke and smoked a pound of cure

Then stumbled onto stage unsure

# X

As shit not living in this nightmare

I'm all out of fight

Where am I left to go when I'm alone and I can't sleep at night 

# XI

Who am I left to emulate when all I want is to be scraped off of the concrete and the metal plates that litter the front gate of my apartment

Strung Out String Theories: Episode V - sudo killall pain

I met her once and she talked to me
Shook her head and looked right through me
One ear Bright Eyes red and swollen
Plastic smile and styles all stolen oh

Honey we all know what's up
Don't think we don't just because we can't see the cuts

I read it on her face that morning, frantic eyes that seemed to warn me, elevated shaking, something that she said was making me afraid. So I caught her after class. I said “Just so you know, these feelings they will pass.” 

And she said “boy, go and shove it up your ass. Trust me, I am the only thing that will pass.”

And she did.

I screamed her name into my handlebars, as I drove headfirst into cars. But they all seemed to stop. As I lay on asphalt, it's clear that I wound up on top. 
   


She'd warned me not to call her Mary, not to call her anything at all. Kid don't get too attached. She said ‘Just so you know, I'll be gone like' (that).

Why Does Everyone I Fall in Love with Kill Themselves?

My teeth are rotting each second I spend in this coffin I call my apartment.
Bright Eyes, sad lullabies, lies we tell ourselves to try and set ourselves apart
Meant more to me than reality in 2017, so I ate a thousand seeds and tripped balls so diseased
Nearly jumped but thought better
Left that past self for dead near the cliffside, 
And then hitched a ride

And I'm shooting for California, but my gun's pointed the wrong way.
And with my luck I'm sure I'll miss and blow off half my face.
You either kill yourself or get killed, yeah we all die someday.
If I'm sticking around I'm living my way

My will's been tested extensively yet the ehrlich always comes out pink and
I may romanticize drugs that keep my alive but these poly relationships stink
And it's been apparent for years that I'm the type to steer clear of just ask anyone who's known me
But I can't complain so many girls let me into their brain, I do okay 
 
And I'm shooting for Arizona, but I can't find a clean rig
And I'm melting this permastone, slowly but surely I will dig
Myself out of this grave I've been dying in
Go big or go homeless
I came here to win
I've got nothing left to lose so let's go all in

Time Changes [Demo]

Luna [The Loner Stoner]