78fahrenheit (demo)

Ethel Cain - A House In Nebraska (Demo II)

wrestling in dirt pits - ethel cain

dogwood

As we celebrate the birth of Christ, Christmas is canceled in his home of Bethlehem. Keep Palestine in your thoughts.

If You Were Born Today (Low cover)

lyrics:

I sing the lord’s euthanasia blues
When I take you and your brother in the back pew
Drive into the median, keep myself from eating and wonder why I feel so sick
Tradition’s ligature marks always yellow through


I lied when I said I didn’t want you
In no time, you’ll forget the way we were supposed to be
Asking what I’m on this time, holding on to you like I do
Like we’re the only people in the world god left to mind to

Two drowning coals won’t ever light
But if I ask you to, you’ll warm the night


If I want you like I said I’d never do
I would hold my breath and sit down next to you
Terrified you’ll bite the hand that needs you
And right now I need you
I don’t know what happened
I don’t know what happened
I was young and sweet
And then something happened
Something overwhelming
Something everlasting

Time drags on
I hate him for the time he’s gone
I’ve been here for weeks, I’ve been here for years
I’ve been here too long
I forgot what stop means
Either I drink it or the boat sinks
It’s easy for him to get out of me
What I’ve been praying will get out of me

Will I always be crying during sex with you
All my dreams take place in heaven where it’s quiet, lying next to you
Heavy breathing and sighs, bruises between my thighs, look me deep In my eyes like I’m a river worth wading
And if I’m crying, it’s because I’m in love

[Outro]
And I could love you if I tried
And I’m trying
I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying

crying during sex - ethel cain

two demos, one from 2024 (recorded on laptop mic in hotel bathroom), one from 2021 (test instrumental) 
Lord, will you be my shepard???
if they still want me 
oh, the valley so wide 
some place i could sleep 
God, are you my protector???
feel them close behind 
oh, the stars are so high 
and my legs grown tired

The Angelic Complex (2024 hotel bathroom demo)

drums and additional guitars by matthew tomasi

v1:

each time that i think of you
i push another through
and recall how the bullet flew
each time that i think of you
i barricade the room
one more wound


v2: 

i was an angel, though plummeting
i watched it get dark
i’m playing it tough
the worst that could happen
is happening to me
another round of shots
for the boys on tv
i was an angel, but they made me leave
with stars in my eyes
crying as i wheel 
as i hit the lake
i prayed it’d be green
it’s all that i need
i deserve it, i think

i loved an angel, and it made me weak

refrain:

i am punished by love
i am punished by love
i am punished by love
i am punished by love

outtro: 

i loved an angel, and it made me weak
i loved an angel, and it made me weak

party 4 etienne (charli xcx x ethel cain)

backwater girl

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