I DONT WANNA BE MYSELF

deja vu w/ mynameisrjay (prod. con)

Last First Date

written by Lxst Boy, Cavasoul, and soku
produced by Riddiman and oldboyy
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy
cover art by futoh
out on all platforms

-lyrics-
(Hook: Lxst Boy)
finish up my homework then I write another song
why does everybody hate me I swear that I did nothing wrong
got like 20 messages everytime I check my phone
but i will never answer them, I hate this feeling its getting old

(Verse 1: Lxst Boy)
try to tell me that im not ok
but cant you see the smile thats plastered on my face
like come over sometime and find me dead at my place
im sipping on this coffee praying that this pain would go away
the solitude is nice but I'm sick of being alone
walked a million miles on a path they call the lonely road
pondering my consciences, the deepest part of my soul
but hey im just a kid so what do i really know

(Hook)

(Verse 2: Cavasoul)
i hate this feeling, feeling horrible
is getting old
im losing meaning, meaning everything is seeming horrible
I'm conceited, seated at a table undesirable
I know that she could ruin me because shes so adorable
I fall asleep and I see images of violence
I see a side of me incite a riot
swear my head is never quiet
I'm craving death, it tries to overtake my fear of dying
I'll just go to bed so hopefully I can stop fucking crying
i hate this feeling that I feel whenever I open up my eyes
and now my lungs have started hurting as result from getting high
it gets tiring when you always just feel like you could die
now I'm breaking down again, just for today is the third time

(Hook)

(Verse 3: soku)
it's getting old, I'm growing old and I don't know if i could stay
every time you look my way I just turn and look away
I don't know if I could stay in this place
with this feeling that I hate and it won't go away yeah
yeah my voice is sounding stupid and my grades are going down
everybody else around hating me I feel the frown
on my face yeah I'm a waste yeah
telling everyone I might just take a break yeah
I finish up my homework then I go and cry alone
everybody hating me  and so I walk the lonely road
got like 20 messages every time i check my phone 
but that's not quite reality I hate this feeling it's getting old

(Hook)

@cavasoul
@soku_music
@prodriddiman

S T R E A M

i hate this feeling w/ cavasoul & soku (riddiman x oldboyy)

produced by jhove
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy

-lyrics-
maybe when we're older
i'll finally get it right
lay your head on my shoulder
as we drive into the night
i dont wanna be here if im not with you
(be here if im not with you)
maybe when we're older
i'll finally tie the knot
im so immature 
but i ponder it a lot
i just wanna spend my life with you
(spend my life with you)

yeah i know im making excuses
im on the brink boutta lose it
when you are feeling by yourself
i just sit and make music
yeah it's messed up i know it
i care and wanna show it
but it's kinda difficult
because i know you're also broken
i can change it, trust me
i know it's hard to love me
there's a lot that i dont talk about
i shrug it off, its funny
how i know you feel the same
and im the one to blame
maybe someday i'll grow up
but for now i'll stay the same yeah

i dont deserve you
(i dont deserve you)
i know i have issues
(i know i have issues)

yeah but you helping me through them
healing my cuts and my bruises
what you been doing is working
and my conditions improving
oh take me back tonight
i cant explain whats inside
and now im feeling the vibe
and now im feeling alright
(and now im feeling the vibe
and now im feeling alright)

maybe when we're older
i'll finally get it right
lay your head on my shoulder
as we drive into the night
i dont wanna be here if im not with you
(be here if im not with you)
maybe when we're older
i'll finally tie the knot
im so immature 
but i ponder it a lot
i just wanna spend my life with you
(spend my life with you)
x2

when we’re older (jhove)

@akumuh - something more (prod. anywaywell)

I'm ready

Sadboy verse:

Bitch you never gave a fuck 

All this time got me thinking we the same 
But i guess you done fell outa love 

Ive been trynna heal my past 
Vent my pain but i guess a nigga fell outa luck 

Ive been trynna make it out the mud
Still feel the same every month
Whole damn crew at the crib
Still we never had enough for lunch

Kind wish i could rewind all the time thats lost

Kinda wish i took every moment an put it at a muphuckin pause 

All time low
All time low 
All time low
All time low

(Break)

Bitch you never gave a fuck 

All this time got me thinking we the same 
But i guess you done fell outa love 

Ive been trynna heal my past 
Vent my pain but i guess a nigga fell outa luck 

Ive been trynna make it out the mud
Still feel the same every month
Whole damn crew at the crib
Still we never had enough for lunch

Kind wish i could rewind all the time thats lost

Kinda wish i took every moment an put it at a muphuckin pause 

All time low
All time low 
All time low
All time low

(End)

AllTimeLow (Prod. Dreamsyxx)

out now on all platforms. 
art by: https://www.instagram.com/organict3a/

i wrote this at 2am while u slept beside me (prod. tundra beats)

Stripes

I Hate Myself With Everything I Am [prod. BadKid]

musician from Iceland.
I mostly post on my instagram Svar
all links in "More uploads".❤

Stripes

Svar

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