The Quietest Room

in the dark

[Verse]
J'ai soif de ta bouche, de ta voix, de tes cheveux.
Silencieux et affamé, j'arpente les rues.
Le pain ne me nourrit pas, l'aube me perturbe, toute la journée,
je cherche la mesure liquide de tes pas.

[Chorus)]
J'ai faim de ton rire lisse,
de tes mains couleur de moisson sauvage,
faim des pierres pâles de tes ongles,
je veux manger ta peau comme une amande entière.

[Verse]
Je veux manger le rayon de soleil qui flamboie dans ton corps charmant,
le nez souverain de ton visage arrogant,
je veux manger l'ombre fugace de tes cils,

et j'arpente les rues, affamé, reniflant le crépuscule,
à ta recherche, à la recherche de ton cœur brûlant,
comme un puma dans les terres arides de Quitratue.

[Chorus]
J'ai faim de ton rire lisse,
de tes mains couleur de moisson sauvage,
faim des pierres pâles de tes ongles,
je veux manger ta peau comme une amande entière.

[Chorus]
J'ai soif de ta bouche, de ta voix, 
de tes cheveux.
Silencieux et affamé, 
j'arpente les rues.
Le pain ne me nourrit pas, 
l'aube me perturbe, toute la journée,
je cherche la mesure liquide de tes pas.

[Outro]
J'ai soif de ta bouche, de ta voix, de tes cheveux.
Silencieux et affamé, j'arpente les rues.

J'ai soif (Neruda) - Jef Bourgeau

if I’m not real

Sugar, Stop the Time

Songs I wrote between 2021 and 2025. They will melodically take you through time, I don't know how, but here you go... Love yourself, your friends and your lover, with those wild loving cues. 

I Should've Been Me

(Intro)



Spider legs gave yard moths, 

My alters rise 

Traumacore 

Saved my life



(Verus 1)



Void button eyes blood on my rabbits. Stuffed Bears ripped in half

With emotional burns wiping the infection on my candy coated life

Staring out into the violence next to the heart that was held so close to me

Never goodbye fights in the middle of the night you manipulated me to shame 

They wanted forever 

I want never 

Leave me alone I hate my life

Don't leave but I know you made me bleed but I have nowhere else to go

You abandoned me but creeped back into the shadows a rotten soul you made me believe I was by my own mental enemy 



(Chorus )



Traumacore breeds in my art 

Look into my fundamental nothingness that's locked deep in my heart

A beautiful heart attack I smile through the pain

Bite marked halo nightmare dreams 

Screaming terrors waking play toy dreams

With such sweet lullabies itching at the seams 

Empty playgrounds with no life bleeds

Doll house set on fire brings curiosity 



Traumacore works 

Cut out the stigma let the healing hurt

I'm ready I'm out in Search

For others like me



(Verse 2)



You left me with a broken heart buried in self hate and the guilt of even being alive 

So self harm was my escape 

But now it seems so blah now I make art 

Doctors share new ideas in the years of 2000 to 2010

Where do I go 

Trapped here in this isolation 

Trapped with you 

Bite me beat me love me I hate you I love you 

Don't leave I hate myself 

I can stop the pain is took much 

But no one ever cared 

They just covered me up in a little black box 





(Chorus)



Look into my fundamental nothingness that's locked deep in my heart

Traumacore breeds in my art 

A beautiful heart attack I smile through the pain

Bite marked halo nightmare dreams 

Screaming terrors waking play toy dreams

With such sweet lullabies itching at the seams 

Empty playgrounds with no life bleeds

Doll house set on fire brings curiosity 



Traumacore works 

Cut out the stigma let the healing hurt

I'm ready I'm out in Search

For others like me





(Verse 3)



Void button eyes blood on my rabbits. Stuffed Bears ripped in half

With emotional burns wiping the infection on my candy coated life

Staring out into the violence next to the heart that was held so close to me

Never goodbye fights in the middle of the night you manipulated me to shame 

They wanted forever 

I want never 

You left me with a broken heart buried in self hate and the guilt of even being alive 

So self harm was my escape 

Trapped here in this isolation 

Trapped with you 

Screaming terrors waking play toy dreams

With such sweet lullabies itching at the seams 

Empty playgrounds with no life bleeds

Doll house set on fire brings curiosity 



(Bridge)

Traumacore 

Traumacore 

Traumacore



(Chorus)



Look into my fundamental nothingness that's locked deep in my heart

Traumacore breeds in my art 

A beautiful heart attack I smile through the pain

Bite marked halo nightmare dreams 

Screaming terrors waking play toy dreams

With such sweet lullabies itching at the seams 

Empty playgrounds with no life bleeds

Doll house set on fire brings curiosity 



Traumacore works 

Cut out the stigma let the healing hurt

I'm ready I'm out in Search

For others like me



(Outro)

I feel the pain I have no more shame I come here today to share my pain 

I hope we can bring are devils together to play




Traumacore Art

How about some psychedelic funk? A funky soul–rock–hip hop fusion song about distance, dreams, and the beauty of being small in an endless universe.

Lyrics © Señor Barends

“Everything’s far…when you’re small.”  

Tiny reflections, billions of tries,  
Each under passing skies.  
Whispers in the wind of time,  
Learning to reason, learning to rhyme.  
Patterns in dust that pretend they know…
Look close…it’s only a show.

We blink and start again,  
Every moment was now back then,  
If nothing’s real but what we feel…  
Then the dream’s the only deal.  

Everything’s far when you’re small,  
Maybe none of it is real at all.  
We’re the glitch that learned to dream,  
A thought adrift in the great machine.  
Yeah, everything’s far when you’re small.  

We’re patterns pretending to be,  
Chasing the thought that’s dreaming me.  
It’s all one living thought,  
Dreaming us here, or maybe not.  
A long lucid dream,  
Floating in an endless stream.

Maybe the code forgot its end,  
And the loop begins again.  
If it’s illusion, and I still belong,  
I’ll sing along with the cosmic song.  

Everything’s far when you’re small,  
You can’t see behind the wall.
When it’s higher than you’re tall.
Everything’s far when you’re small.  

I walk the line where the colors blur,  
Where time remembers who we were.  
Every mile is a new place found,  
Every star still circles ‘round
The road ends like a thought undone,  
I walk the walk, why would I run?

When you’re small… when you’re small…everything’s far…

Everything’s far when you’re small,  
We stumble, we crawl.  
Still we’re here after all…  
Everything’s far when you’re small.

Everything’s Far When You’re Small

Faded Frequencies

Road Rage (2)

Cloud Nine

Hi everybody.
 I like music and now I try making my own with the new available technologies.

Sugar, Stop the Time

Soul Whisperer