prod. mixed, and mastered by me 
shoutout @prodbyaustyn for the co-prod on this one :)
also @t3rmes for the songwriting on the hook when my brain hurted <3

---------------

20 now, this isn't how 
i thought it would work out 
breaking vows, might take a bow 
because i'm tired of feeling down 
put all my anger into a microphone 
it's no ones fault but my own please just let me be alone 
all my friends they were plastic, and i'm was silicone 
fit into molds, now watch me grow 
i won't see it through, to twenty two 
i thought i had nothing to lose 
maybe views, or my muse 
i hope these thoughts i have the chance to defuse 
buts it's looking that i might just have to give it up 
stay at the bottom while all my friends, they live it up 
i've got potential i guess i just gotta pick it up 
im getting up, i've had enough

falling out of touch with who i am 
revolving, my mind a door, it's turning 
am i deserving? 
stalling all the opportunities at hand 
to hear them applauding, is all that i want, but i'm so exhausted 

i've been so exhausted 
i feel like a hostage
in my brain, i've lost it, 
wilt away watch my friends all blossom
sun don't shine, upon me 
petals they're all falling 
in my head, it's daunting, 
being left behind in the dawning 

the sun never gon shine when i'm stuck all alone 
the stars won't align, when i'm left in the cold
the thought are benign, but they're taking a toll 
the sun never gon shine when i'm stuck all alone 
the stars won't align, when i'm left in the cold
a flower dead in the night, out of sight, decomposed

rumination

zinnia

the first single off my EP botanical//electrical
prod soju


im 16 going on dead
and i dont wanna talk cuz im hanging off a ledge now
too young so i dont wanna die yet
(ooooo)
im 16 im going straight to hell
but ur going to heaven, so im wishing u well
(ooo no, fuck)

i know im only 16
but idgaf
i want u right here with me
cuz im scared of growing up
i want out this house
i wanna be with u all of my waking hours
i know im only 16
but i know ur the one

i fell face first in a bed of roses
petals in my hair but the thorns go unnoticed
my stems all on high key, and im pulling high notes best
but im just tryna show emotions
i put my foot on the throttle
i put a cork in a bottle
my bottles full of perfume
assume the best when i goggle
ur eyes astound me to this day
a ray of green over golden bay
i feel ok when ur holding me
i need u here to keep me safe

i know im only 16
but idgaf
i want u right here with me
cuz im scared of growing up
i want out this house
i wanna be with u all of my waking hours
i know im only 16
but i know ur the one

16 (soju)

cover art by athan 
check out athan on insta ! @athan.xo 
ty neoprada and 01ashes for help w song <3

outta lvck!

outta lvck! ft athan (prod. 01ashes)

shoutout su this my normal voice btw no formants :)

Lyrics:
I dont Understand why your wasting my time
make me wanna go and take my life
i wanna fly
but i know you see me falling out the sky 
i get to trippin bout these bitches always haunting in my mind

dont understand why im always whorin' on the fuckin weekend
i dont wanna talk to you bitch you tweakin'
best not fuck around with me find where you sleep at
i cant find no gas im searchin hours on the deep web

dont tell me no bullshit like i cant keep a secret
i cant rock with no oddball we gettin even 
shawty left me all alone cold i was freezin
somehow made it off of the road with the demons 
im smoking on goo bitch you know what it do 
fuck that bitch im finna pull off in my rocket to the moon
they ask me whats next? dont have a clue
fell asleep in a bush wake up and feel the morning dew

talking on the TL yea u can question my life
im not here tell you whats wrong and whats right
yea we could be here all day we could be here all night
i aint finna hold no grudge i aint tryna start a fight
im finna cry into my pillow i dont really know the reason 
various af and shoutout to the demons 
i dont recognize myself when i look in the mirror i just cry for help

(x2)
i just need a answer to the fuckin questions
everybody act dumb they aint learn no lessons
why im always stressin nothing to worry about
always stuck in my head i need to get out

manic attack! (irusu)

@1booth
@swazyhq
@ayjd

this track was unfortunately not produced by nick cannon. Instead it was produced by  kaii on youtube!!! 
link below

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm2bQMjmnZNkD5RtYwnJWyw

[VA-T] - PROD. Nick Cannon (1Booth, swazy*, & ay!jd) [Kaii]

[VA-T] - throw me off (austyn, swazy, vincent & wet salt) [austyn]

got over my airport anxiety i miss u all :((