featuring @xternalz
prod. @loveismisery x @pw4prez x @makemeapromise

𝔞𝔨𝔞𝔰𝔲𝔨𝔦:
i dont want this 
i cant handle it 
its not the way its meant to be 
and i dont wanna be hurt
tell me why i cant be her

falling apart
i just wanna be in your arms 
i didnt know this would be so hard
i didnt think you'd feel so far
i long for the comfort of your heart

wish i could turn back time
to when everything felt just fine
back when you believed in you and i
when i felt happy u were mine

and i dont wanna be hurt
tell me why i cant be her
this isnt fair for me 
why are u so petty
i dont want this 
i cant handle it 
its not the way its meant to be 
so why did u hurt me 
and left me so empty

𝔵𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔷:
even if you didnt ask i would come after you
i know that we didnt last
but im not ready for something new
you’re someone i put everything into

nowwww
i dont want to waste more time
i cant handle it when you cry
our last moments together were a crime
it was a crime

i can see our memories theyre fading into dust
looking past all the fights and all the mistrust
all this makes me want to die i feel so crushed
i know that this wasnt fair for us

𝔞𝔨𝔞𝔰𝔲𝔨𝔦:
and i dont wanna be hurt
tell me why i cant be her
this isnt fair for me 
why are u so petty
i dont want this 
i cant handle it 
its not the way its meant to be 
so why did u hurt me 
and left me so empty

desire w/xternalz [kyoa x sochi x surgeon]

prod. @user-670723281
\\\
i woke up today thought it was just the same
but something was different couldnt find ur name
on my phone on my feed on every single screen
u vanished like a shadow like a ghost in a dream

i keep searching for the reason trying to understand
how our love turned into silence slipping through my hands
no warning no goodbye just a cold empty space
how could u leave me without a trace

u blocked me out shut me down
left me spinning in this lonely town
no closure no words just a wall so high
i wish i could know why

u blocked me out shut me down
left me stranded as the night comes around
in the void of your absence i cry
how could u block me without a goodbye?
ur silence cuts deeper than any knife
how can i move on with this empty life

memories keep replaying, replaying like a broken song
trying to piece together where it all went wrong
i gave u my heart u held it in your hands
now its shattered like broken glass
how can i move on with that 
u left me alone2besad

alone2besad

alone2besad [diedinoctober]

featuring @karaoki + @ilyporo 
prod. @wintress13 

@akasukii 
i thought this was our end 
but i guess its bye bye girl again 
u left me heartbroken 
bye bye, bye bye, bye girl again

i thought we had it all just u and me
but now i see that it was never meant to be
falling apart till the end
bye bye, bye bye, bye girl again

@karaoki
bye bye girl again, baby am i toxic
better off as friends told u im so love sick
ig this is the end so i wanna end it quick
said that i dont need u 
and i know that i dont need it 
too cold had a fever 
and they running back i dont need her 
bye bye girl on a tee shirt 
and i write the bitch in green paper
things i cannot hold back
bbg yk that
and ik its so sad 
bye bye girl again girl again

@akasukii
(bye bye girl again 
bye bye girl again)

[all 3 of us ^~^] 
bye bye, bye bye, bye girl again 
bye bye, bye bye, bye girl again
bye bye, bye bye, bye girl again 
bye bye, bye bye, bye girl again 

@akasukii 
i thought this was our end 
but i guess its bye bye girl again 
u left me heartbroken 
bye bye, bye bye, bye girl again

i thought we had it all just u and me
but now i see that it was never meant to be
falling apart till the end
bye bye, bye bye, bye girl again

@ilyporo 
bye bye, bye bye, bye bye girl
at night im alive we go psycho
bye bye, bye bye, bye bye girl
at night im alive we go psycho
i hope u didnt suffer
or wasted ur time with me
so i have to say goodbye
i hope we both could be free

♡ 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘺

bye bye girl again w/karaoki + ilyporo  [wintress]

featuring @kyxtsnxwy x @1kidsora x @muieternal
prod. @tores x @jichuuu

@akasukii
i dont wanna be alone
i dont wanna play pretend
that im okay without u
that this isnt the end
i dont wanna face the night
with no one to hold me tight
i dont wanna be alone
i dont wanna be on my own
tell me where did we go wrong?
how did we fall apart?
was it something i did something i said?
or was it written from the start?
i dont wanna be alone
i dont wanna play pretend
that im okay without you
that this isnt the end
i dont wanna face the night
with no one to hold me tight
i dont wanna be alone
i dont wanna be on my own

@kyxtsnxwy
i dont wanna be on my own
left me in the snow, its freezing and its cold
i know
please hold me tight closely
im right here by my lonely
it feels like u disowned me
im right here at the start again

lets please start again
all that im feeling is the feeling of dread
bullet be straight to my head
feeling like nothing im better off dead
all of the things that u said
hurting my soul, baby, im falling apart
take out my heart
baby its nothing its just all scars

@1kidsora
all i ever needed was presence
all i ever needed was essence
i know im learning lessons
but, im still overthinking blessings
im trynna geek & i'm posted with Jayy
all that she care about is what i make
so- imma just pray
i dont know how much more i'll take
of this- of this
she bid me farewell
with a silent kiss
of this- of this-
u all know i cant miss-

@muieternal
i think ive had enough
u said u'd have our love
the distance in ur touch
i'd never hate so much 

u promised on ur word
now i cant make this alone
ruminating this thought
leave this love in a knot

pretend w/kishi, kid sora + mui [tores x jichu]

prod. @hartfxlt x @yashio20k

i dont wanna be thrown away
im tired of all the heartbreak 

can u look me in my eyes
tell me everythings alright 
no i dont u to ever lie 
i dont wanna sit here and fight 
for a love thats already gone 
crying all night in a pillow im not strong

i dont wanna be weak, i dont wanna look back
thought i was strong but im under attack
every memory cuts me so deep 
guess some scars arent meant to keep

is it worth the pain 
to hold onto something that might fade away
i gave u my all but u left me to bleed
now im questioning if its love that i need
maybe i should be free
then i would be at peace

i dont wanna be weak, i dont wanna look back
thought i was strong but im under attack
every memory cuts me so deep 
guess some scars arent meant to keep

memory [hartfxlt x yashio]

prod. @ saintmike 

i need ur light i need ur touch 
cuz without u here this pains too much
i need ur light i need ur touch 
cuz without u here this pains too much

its getting late the shadows start to creep 
another night where i cant fall asleep
i hear ur voice it lingers in the room
but when i turn im staring at the moon

i dont want the stars they remind me of u
the way they shine but theyre just passing through

i need ur warmth i cant do this on my own
the darkness whispers "ur all alone"
i hear ur voice it lingers in the room
but when i turn im staring at the moon

i cant face the night its too dark without u
the silence echoes everything im scared to lose
i need u.
i dont even wanna live a life without u
i just wanna be with u 
i dont even wanna live a life without u
i cant face the night its too dark without u
i dont even wanna live a life without u
i just wanna be with u 
i dont even wanna live a life without u
its too dark without u

these empty sheets cant hold me tight
i fall apart when its just me and the night
i need ur light i need ur touch
cuz without u here this pains too much
the pains too much

listen to this when the night falls [saint mike]

featuring @clay0127
prod. @xternalz x @ihateukidu

@akasukii 
i dont wanna let go
i just want someone to hold
u dont say it but i know its true
that you're halfway gone, and im losing u
but if i fall i’d rather fall slow
cause i dont want to let go
i dont want to let go even if it hurts
even if i drown in the weight of ur words
i’d rather feel the pain than the emptiness below
cause baby i dont want to let go

@clay0127
let go
feel forever in my throat
cause i cant break the mold
all you needed was a moment
to be left on your own
and all i wanted was some closure
before i let you go

all your regret, its haunting me
when i remember all our endeavors
i cannot breathe

i dont wanna let go 
i just want u to hold
 
i cant lie baby i miss you
and everydays an issue
without you in my arms
im just wishing i could kiss you
but now its been official
that i cant be there with you
i know its beneficial
whats a poet without issues?
i cant lie, my heart
its bleeding babe and no amount of tissues
are ever gonna fix it
got no one i can vent to
instead im gonna scream it
and make you feel that shit too
you really dont deserve it
all these feelings that i misuse

@akasukii 
i cant lie my heart
its breaking falling apart
without u here my baby 
i need u here so badly 

u dont say it but i know its true
that you're halfway gone, and im losing u
but if i fall i’d rather fall slow
cause i dont want to let go
i dont want to let go even if it hurts
even if i drown in the weight of ur words
i’d rather feel the pain than the emptiness below
cause baby i dont want to let go

i dont want to let go w/clay [xternalz x kidu]

- ♡ -

prod. @luc3nt

she says i talk too much about you
about the fights we never fix
she asked what im holding on to
and why love feels like a risk
she says that loves not supposed to hurt
but im too scared to let it burn
i tell her i cant just walk away
but every time i stay it feels the same
my therapist thinks we should break up
says im holding on too tight calling it love
she says i deserve a little peace
but i dont know how to set us free
shes got the answers but ive got this heart
that doesnt know where to stop or where to start
yeah my therapist thinks we should break up
but i dont wanna face life without us
i tell her how you make me smile
then she asks me how long it lasts
we’re good for a little while
but then we’re stuck in the past
she says that loves not made of fear
but walking away feels so unclear
i tell her im not ready to let go
but deep down i already know
we should break up
im holding on too tight calling it love
i deserve a little peace
but i dont know how to set us free
shes got the answers but ive got this heart
that doesnt know where to stop or where to start
yeah my therapist thinks we should break up
but i dont wanna face a life without us
she says i need to love myself more
but im still standing at your door
my therapist thinks we should break up
but maybe im not strong enough

my therapist thinks we should break up [luc3nt]

featuring @victxrw
prod. @prodalagen

@akasukii

i tried to keep u 
but the harder i fought
the more i realized love cant be bought 
i tried to hold u 
but the world wouldnt let me have my way 
if only i could see u 
i would be much happier that way 

i cant breathe at all 
i just feel so small 
and i wish i could see underwater 
to understand whats pulling me farther 
i dont wanna live another day 

@victxrw
face away
taste the pain
give it all
to me
ill take it away
i know its obvious
how much i wanted this
sharp pains on frozen lips
waiting for the eclipse

the walls of flesh, engulfing me again
i cant seem to fall any further
so fuck me up again
make me bleed it all and even further

engulfed w/victxrw [alagen]

@prodalagen

i miss u 
i dont know where to take this 
im so confused
abt ur feelings im mistaken
do u notice me reaching out to u 
or is it too late 
we've already reached our fate

my hands are shaking im barely holding on
each breath a battle but u’re already gone
i scream ur name but u cant hear the sound
its like im drowning and u’re nowhere to be found

i miss u 
i dont know where to take this 
i am so confused
abt ur feelings im mistaken
do u notice me reaching out to u 
or is it too late 
we've already reached our fate
oh my gawdddd just fking love meee </333

ｊｕｓｔｆｋｉｎｇｌｏｖｅｍｅｅｅ<／３

- omg im 21 now ! -
prod. @xternalz x @rewind214

trying so hard to move on
but ur always there never gone
i wish heartbreak wasnt so long 
im tired of singing the same song 

oh i put my all into u i put my all into us
and tell me why its still never enough 
i just wanted trust 
i wanted to be loved
but u never chose us 
running away from our problems
we never solved them
pretending like we're fine but we've forgotten
the love we shared and now we're all falling 
falling out of love
why did we fall apart
we built this up but now its gone
i tried to hold on but u let go
now im stuck here all alone

i gave u my heart but u couldnt see
that we were breaking 
u and me 

now im left with all the things u didnt say 
and wondering why u couldnt make me stay
i tried so hard but u just turned away 
now im left alone again and again

running away from our problems
we never solved them
pretending like we're fine but we've forgotten
the love we shared and now we're all falling
falling out of love
why did we fall apart
we built this up but now its gone
i tried to hold on but u let go
now im stuck here all alone

forgotten [xternalz x rewind]

prod. injury
major creds to @victxrw

and now
i feel it all
the love withdrawals and the pain that comes with
i feel it all
the wall i hit when i cant stop running

and you never cared as much as i did
for just this once can you please be honest

no
everytime i get up i seem to slip
so leave me alone
im always falling for the same old tricks

so im face down again
am i at fault
im face down again
am i always wrong
im face down again
did you catch my fall
im face down again and again
and now
i feel it all
the love withdrawals and the pain that comes with
i feel it all
the wall i hit when i cant stop running

so i cant fix you now 
feel the blood drip down
i'll hold onto my crown
so make it worth my while
its not fair 
you dont care
im trying to make sense of it all
its not fair 
u dont care
it feels like im meant to fall
 
i feel so drained
why cant you change
it feels the same 
same old day
  
i cant break away
i feel so insane
it feels like the same old day

im face down again
am i at fault
im face down again
am i always wrong
im face down again
did you catch my fall
im face down again and again
and now
i feel it all
the love withdrawals and the pain that comes with
i feel it all
the wall i hit when i cant stop running

love withdrawals

love withdrawals [injury]

prod @exkimelyy

i see your eyes
stare into my soul 
you dont have to be shy 
take my hand we'll go slow
the night is ours
no need for words
just hold me close
and dont let go again

and i broke you again
i dont want this to end
i cant get enough 
this feeling is rough

your touch is calm but my heart still shakes
every moment with you everything aches
you pull me in and my whole world breaks
but i’d do it again no matter the stakes

i see your eyes
stare into my soul 
you dont have to be shy 
take my hand we'll go slow
the night is ours
no need for words
just hold me close
and dont let go again

shy [exkimelyy]

@user-670723281

do i have to break just to be seen
fall apart to make them care for me 
every time i bleed they stay
but silence makes them walk away

im not enough unless im bruised
only when i shatter do they move

why cant i be loved in peace
why cant i be loved just me 
why does pain set my heart free
why must pain bring clarity

New tracks tagged #꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱