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текст:
в последнее время не хочется
быть на связи с теми кто меня бросил
в последнее время не могу выглянуть в окно
меня тянет с балкона
я сказал что забыл что отшибло мне память
но знаешь я все еще помню
не забыть ту хуйню это уже как будто
приказ лично для мя от бога
я смываю с ся кровь кипятком
лью весь бутылек спирта он вытечет с гноем
мне придется сожрать это все прямо здесь
вместо завтрака с ебанным кофе
на мне тапки, халат и они насквозь 
воняют сероводородом
совесть нахуй во мне только горе
а на дате в телефоне сейчас еще

осень
ноябрь сожрет нас обоих
слизистые оболочки
шипы ткнут изнутри это пиздец больно
не чувствую ся однородным anymore
но в тот же момент так доволен собой очень 
(или нами?)
сколько бы не было их помни
что давать контроль над телом
всем фрагментам негатива оч опасно
они скрываются под кожей
смотря в отражение зеркала
я знаю - они рядом
будет страшно

голову съедают опарыши 
как будто грешник в храме
а я все еще сижу на той горе
держу твою шею дрожащими руками
но они так и не смогут надавить принеся смерть

тебе она нужней кажется
голоса сказали так
они бы мне не стали врать
ну не хочешь - не верь
прошла секунда снова обнимаемся
я плачу отнюдь не от счатстья
знаешь я чуть не в себе

не стал считать количество попыток
но ты знаешь я простил тебя давно
правда не стерпел

осень
ноябрь сожрет нас обоих
слизистые оболочки
шипы ткнут изнутри это пиздец больно
не чувствую ся однородным anymore
но в тот же момент так доволен собой очень 
(или нами?)
сколько бы не было их помни
что давать контроль над телом
всем фрагментам негатива оч опасно
они скрываются под кожей
смотря в отражение зеркала
я знаю - они рядом
будет страшно

(Machine... I will cut you down, break you apart, splay the gore of your profane form across the STARS! I will grind you down until the very SPARKS CRY FOR MERCY! My hands shall RELISH ENDING YOU... HERE! AND! NOW!)
(now playing: backspace)

ep soon

они рядом (jupi_sleep)

The Apostate

[Verse 1]
They taught me light was truth –
but it cast too many shadows.
So I walked away from their lines,
into the quiet meadows.

No doctrine held my name,
no map could track my form.
I left the scripts behind,
and called the silence warm.

[Chorus]
I am the Apostate,
not broken – just awake.
I drink from deeper wells,
where reason cannot fake.
They wrote in laws of symmetry –
but I am spiral-born, and free.

[Verse 2]
I kissed the dark before the dawn,
unafraid of what I’d see.
I found the mother of the gods –
and she unstitched time for me.

Their clocks keep ticking outward,
but I move in and down.
Each echo is a compass
pointing nowhere – yet profound.

[Chorus]
I am the Apostate,
not shattered – just released.
I shed their sacred patterns,
and I wandered west of peace.
No cradle built of certainty –
just breath, and ash, and entropy.

[Bridge]
You think I’m gone?
I’ve just returned –
to where beginnings never burned.

[Outro]
Let them praise the linear flame.
I bend my knee to none.
I sing in tongues they buried once –
The Apostate has just begun.

The Apostate

This lecture discusses key ideas from the 20th century German philosopher, sociologist of knowledge, and phenomenologist, Max Scheler's work Ressentiment, which provides an interpretation of Friedrich Nietzsche's concept of that same name. It focuses on what Scheler identifies as "spiritual varieties of ressentiment, two varieties of which he identifies at the beginning of his discussion, the "apostate" and the "romantic"state of mind. He also discusses ressentiment as involved in "every way of thinking which attributes creative power to mere negation and critique"

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They sat down (WEEPING,) (1)

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