In this episode, I’m joined by Professor Paul Gilbert and Professor Jeremy Holmes. Paul is the developer of Compassion Focused Therapy and one of the world’s leading clinical psychologists studying the scientific application of compassion in therapeutic practice. Jeremy is an award winning attachment expert, clinician, and author, whose books include: In Search of the Secure Base, Attachment & Psychotherapy, and most recently The Spirit of Psychotherapy. 

In this wide ranging discussion, we explore:

— The difference between “safety” and “safeness” and why this is vital to understand in therapeutic practice

— How early attachment dynamics shape our developmental trajectory and relationships throughout life

— How attachment theory helped to form the theoretical foundations of Compassion Focused Therapy.

And more.

You can find Jeremy’s books at http://bit.ly/jh-books and learn more about Paul’s work at http://compassionatemind.co.uk  

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Professor Paul Gilbert, FBPsS, PhD, OBE is a British clinical psychologist, the founder of compassion focused therapy (CFT), compassionate mind training (CMT) and author of books such as The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life’s Challenges, Overcoming Depression.

He has researched evolutionary approaches to psychopathology for over 40 years with a special focus on the roles of mood, shame and self-criticism in various mental health difficulties for which Compassion Focused Therapy was developed. Professor Gilbert has written/edited 21 books and over 200 papers. In 2006 he established the Compassionate Mind Foundation as an international charity with the mission statement: “To promote wellbeing through the scientific understanding and application of compassion”.

Professor Jeremy Holmes is a clinician, author, leading Attachment expert, and three-time speaker at The Weekend University.

For 35 years, he was Consultant Psychiatrist/Medical Psychotherapist at University College London (UCL) and then in North Devon, UK, and Chair of the Psychotherapy Faculty of the Royal College of Psychiatrists 1998-2002. 

He is visiting Professor at the University of Exeter, and lectures nationally and internationally. In addition to 200+ peer-reviewed papers and chapters in the field of psychoanalysis and attachment theory, his books include John Bowlby and Attachment Theory, Exploring In Security, Attachment in Therapeutic Practice, and most recently: “The Brain has a Mind of Its Own”.

He was the recipient of the Bowlby-Ainsworth Founders Award 2009.

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Interview Links:

— Jeremy’s books - http://bit.ly/jh-books

— Paul’s work - http://compassionatemind.co.uk

Attachment and Compassion in Psychotherapy — Paul Gilbert and Jeremy Holmes

Welkom bij de Podcast 'Een Korreltje Zout I Blunderend door het Leven'. Dé plek waarin we met een korreltje zout kijken naar de chaos van het moderne bestaan. Waar we het leven doorgronden, blunders omarmen, en op zoek gaan naar geluk, liefde en een beetje balans in de chaos. 

Vandaag gaan we het hebben over het thema Liefde. In hoeverre is liefde timing? Samen met mijn vriendin Roos bespreken we hoe standaarden en voorwaarden een rol spelen in het vinden van de juiste partner op het juiste moment. We delen openhartige verhalen over ons date verleden, en hoe wij kijken naar de liefde en standaarden. 

Trek je steeds de verkeerde partner aan? Wellicht zegt het iets over jezelf. Maar hoe verander je dit? En in hoeverre werken standaarden voor of tegen je? 

Veel luister plezier!



#4 Een Korreltje Zout met Roos - In Hoeverre Is Liefde Timing & Werken Standaarden Voor Of Tegen Je?

In this episode, Dr. Reedy discusses religious trauma and what kinds of family systems are at the greatest risk. He distinguishes religion from moral development and spiritual development. He talks about how families with dogmatic, strict-father-styles use religion to control, intimidate, and mold their children. He discusses how religion can be used as a defense against the experience of God and how religion can prevent spiritual development. He discusses the function of religion within a spiritual life. He talks about how many clients come to therapy with a history of religious trauma.

Religious Trauma - Ep 658

In this episode, Dr. Reedy discusses how so many clients are coming to therapy with great worries and distress due to the tumultuous events in the world. He suggests that we need to become more discerning with the news we consume. He proposes that peace is found by focusing on what we can control. He talks about the Buddhist concepts of impermanence, radical acceptance, and mindfulness.

Finding Peace in Uncertain Times - Ep 660

In this Ask Me Anything episode, Dr. Reedy takes questions from the audience on topics ranging from how we communicate our energy to our children, making the unconscious – conscious, debunking the cause and effect thinking, and how small-t trauma is insidious. He answers a question on shadow work. And he talks about how to handle the mistakes we have made as parents when our children remain angry.

Why is “Small-t” Trauma So Insidious. (A.M.A.) - Ep 661

We all carry baggage - past mistakes, regrets, fears, and limiting beliefs that weigh us down. Like any traveller embarking on a journey, why carry extra weight? This talk is about recognising our baggage, understanding the cost of holding onto it, learning to let go of what no longer serves us and stepping into the best version of ourselves.
 
Speaker: Mark Fleming

Mark has been a student and teacher of meditation for over 30 years. He is currently based at the Brahma Kumaris Global Retreat Centre near Oxford but prior to that he was part of the team at the Lighthouse Retreat Centre in Worthing. Mark has a keen interest in understanding the effect our consciousness has on both our personal future as well as the future of the world. He shares these discoveries with lightness and depth.

Releasing Your Baggage and Becoming Your Best - Mark Fleming - Thursday 8th May 2025

A raw, confessional cinematic pop ballad unpacking the ache of attachment wounds. “Anxiously Attached” feels like reading a page from a private journal — with stripped-back lo-fi drums, haunting ambient pads, and breathy, vulnerable male vocals that crack open the truth about chasing love that pulls away.

Cleo wrote this song as an honest mirror — to hold space for the parts of us that still beg for a reply, that chase the silence just to feel seen. It’s about naming the spiral, tracing it back to the first fear, and slowly learning how to stay soft when old stories scream run.

From late-night texts to childhood echoes, this song explores why we overlove, apologize too much, and keep calling it “match” when we’re really just trying not to be left alone.
It’s gentle but gritty — made for anyone learning to sit in the messy middle and feel a little less alone in it.


Anxiously Attached

Which Type of Therapy (Individual, Couple, or Family) is Right for Me? - Ep 679

My Child’s Resentment About Treatment - Ep 680



Hey Ol’ Friend
Mark Lambert/Mikey Goode

Verse I
Hey Ol’ Friend, I hate to see you go
But, that car wreck tore you up
So I know you’ve played your last show

Guitars are known to get knocked around
And you’ve had your fair share
Now they’re telling me you’re
Way beyond repair

Chorus
You helped bring out the smiles
Helped me help people feel
You breathed life into heartfelt songs 
And made ‘em real 

I never wanna put you down
But, now I’ve got no choice
Help me find a new companion
That shares your sweet voice

And don’t worry 
Your story doesn’t end
I still hear you ….. My Ol’ Friend

Verse II
You know Ol’ Bill
Who owns our favorite bar
He’s always swore, up and down
You were one Hell of a guitar

He says if I sign you
He’ll put ya on display 
To remind everybody 
Of your glory days

Chorus
You helped bring out the smiles
Helped me help people feel
You breathed life into heartfelt songs 
And made ‘em real 

I never wanna put you down
But, now I’ve got no choice
Help me find a new companion
That shares your sweet voice

And don’t worry 
Your story doesn’t end
I still hear you ….. My Ol’ Friend

Bridge 
If it were up to me
I’d never let you go
But, I can hear you saying
“Hey, Get On With The Show!”

Chorus
You helped bring out the smiles
Helped me help people feel
You breathed life into heartfelt songs 
And made ‘em real 

I never wanna put you down
But, now I’ve got no choice
Help me find a new companion
That shares your sweet voice

And don’t worry 
Your story doesn’t end
I still hear you ….. My Ol’ Friend

Nah, don’t worry
Your story doesn’t end

I still hear ya… My Old Friend


Hey Ol' Friend

Cleo Antaeus is an independent songwriter, singer, and producer based in Honolulu, Hawaiʻi, whose music drifts between cinematic pop, soulful indie, bossa nova flips, and raw, sync-ready confessions that feel like secrets whispered at 2 a.m.

In just seven months, Cleo has written over 160 original songs, each one shaped by their poetic storytelling and fearless experimentation. Since April alone, their self-released tracks have pulled in 25,000+ organic streams worldwide, with multiple songs crossing 1K–2K+ plays on SoundCloud — proof that Cleo’s garden is alive and echoing.

At the heart of this work are Cleo’s alter artists, Nova Rue and Sunni — soulful, cinematic branches of their voice that bring each story to life in new shades and textures.

Cleo’s songs are 100% original, self-owned, fully cleared, and crafted for TV, film, and brand syncs — perfect for supervisors, artists, and listeners seeking music with real depth and a timeless global soul.

Good songs rise — and so do I.

Genres: Cinematic Pop, Indie Folk, Neo-Soul, R&B, Bossa Nova, Alt-Pop
Based: Honolulu, Hawaiʻi
Sync/Publishing/Collabs: cleonytus@gmail.com

Introducing Inner Circle, our new premium Finding You podcast experience. Support the show and receive access to exclusive content, bonus AMA episodes, and more. Join at findingyou.supercast.com

Finding You Therapy Programs is an experientially based therapeutic program serving individuals, parents, couples, and families.  Email the host drbradreedy@gmail.com

Insights for Evolving Consciousness

In-depth interviews with leading thinkers at the intersection of psychology, neuroscience, culture, and spirituality.

This show is for you if you’re interested in:

– Reducing suffering — in yourself and others
– Continuously upgrading your perspective
– Realising more of your potential
– Experiencing a greater sense of awe, meaning, and connection in everyday life.

New episodes every Thursday.

The Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University (UK), a registered charity since 1975, opens its doors every day of the year to students from all walks of life, cultures and backgrounds to study Raja Yoga meditation. Students find that meditating in this way daily brings a lot of peace and positivity to their lives.

We also join together with many national and local organisations and diverse communities, helping to enhance the wellbeing of people in different spheres of society.

We work across the UK in more than 40 locations and are part of a network of organisations offering activities in over 110 countries. Our spiritual headquarters is in Mount Abu, in the Aravali mountain range, Rajasthan, India.

Brahma Kumaris, UK was established as a Registered Charity in 1975 and charges no fees for any of its activities, being funded by voluntary contributions.

Registered Charity No: England & Wales (269971) and Scotland (SC040512).

Welkom bij de podcast Een korreltje zout – 'Blunderend door het Leven'. Dé plek waarin we met een korreltje zout kijken naar de chaos van het moderne bestaan. Waar we het leven doorgronden, blunders omarmen, en op zoek gaan naar geluk, liefde en een beetje balans in de chaos. Ik ben Larissa, jouw host, en in elke aflevering duik ik in openhartige gesprekken met bekende - en onbekende mensen - over het leven maar ook hoe we dat met een wat meer korreltje zout kunnen nemen. Want laten we eerlijk zijn, wie gaat er nou niet blunderend door het leven?

New tracks tagged #Attachment