half arsed lyrics to probably my first beat of the year

THE LIGHTS WERE TRAINED
TO FADE THE VEINS
 MAKE FLESH
FUFILL ITS FORM
DELETE OPAQUE
NO LONGER LINES
TO INFILTRATE
AND LEAVE YOU SPOONED
AS POSTURE DEFLATES
IN A LOST HAZE
THE PENS LIGHT
IN  THE LOST DAYS
AS YA LIFE FIGHTS
AND THE CHOICE SPLAYED
THE CURVE OF A KNIFE BLADE
YOUR LIGHT ON CALORIES
BUT YOU'RE WAY DOWN
LACKING THE WEIGHT
NO SURVIVAL
TO BE WEIGHED DOWN
FLOATING THROUGH LIFE
BUT YOU'RE FACE DOWN
IN THIS OLD TOWN
OF SHADOWS
THAT TOWERS
BUILT FROM SOME
GOLDEN BROWN
TEXTURE LIKE SUN
LAYS ME DOWN
 SIMILAR FROWNS
IT'S SO LOUD
THAT IT DROWNS OUT
LIKE A DARK CLOUD
WHEN IT PISSES DOWN
AND IT RUNS OUT
THE SLEEVES





 BLANK CANVAS
ON WHICH TO MANAGE
ALL THAT'S COME 
TO PASS
AS DAMAGE
THE LAST 
LAVISH
AFTERNOON
THAT'S AVERAGE
CONSUMED
BY LESS IS MORE
THE NOTHING WANTS
OF A SAVAGE
IN ENDLESS FORM
CHANGING
UNTIL OBSERVATION
SETS THE FACE
YOUR LEFT WITH
SALVATION
IMPRESSES WITH
THE LACK OF PRESSURE
WITH NO CHOICE
NO VOICE TO POISE
OVER A PRECIPICE
AND SLOW THE TRAIN DOWN
THE TRACKS WORN
THE FRICTIONS SLICK
THE ACTS BORN
BEFORE TIME
TO QUESTION IT
WAS IT INSTINCT
OR REALLY LESS 
OF IT
HEAVY THOUGHTS
 MESSES WITH
 THE BEST OF IT
PROMISED OUTCOMES
THERE'S LESS OF IT
YOU NEED MORE
TO BALANCE
ASSESSMENTS
OF POSITION 
OPPOSITE
RUNNING PARALLEL
ADJACENT PLACING
PACING

Watered down

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(Mono Edition)
It was supposed to be a regular, fun “walkabout” episode whilst the summer sun still shined on London, but one phone call and shocking explosion later, Paul and Eli are running for the lives at the whims of a mad man! Two Hundred and Twenty Three episodes ago, two evil baddies were defeated and now an angry relative wants to play games with the Cheap Chaps. They’ve got 90 minutes to solve riddles, race around Crystal Palace Park, diffuse “bombs” and get increasingly more drunk and angry in the process! Along the way, Eli and Paul will tackle dinosaurs, hunt for a gorilla, drink nasty cheap cocktails and get pathetically lost in a maze! Will the day be saved, or will the CheapShow hosts get too tired and drunk to remember the plot?
Think Fast. Look Alive. Walk Hard!

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-445-walk-hard-with-a-vengeance

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 445: Walk Hard With A Vengeance (Mono Edition)

The events of last week’s thrilling episode have taken their toll on Paul & Eli this week. They’re so tired out, they forgot to plan something to do and to make things worse, they are not in “the zone”! Thankfully (or not), Eli has something up his sleeve to “enhance” their “performance” and it may end up giving them both a false sense of confidence. If the stuff works at all! It’s a snack packed episode anyway, with the Cheap Chaps munching through hot habanero potato rings, Japanese Kit Kats, Cheesy Takis and a fair few hot sauces too! And finally, after MANY MANY threats to the Coca Cola company, Eli has got his mitts on some Orange Cream flavoured cans! Oh, lucky day! It’s time to get our munch on.

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-446-beware-the-mad-monk

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 446: Beware The Mad Monk

It’s a nice and simple, back to basics episode this week. We can all relax knowing that at no point will Paul & Eli be singing or inventing new characters or retreating into waves of personal verbal abuse. No siree Bob! They are searching for proper culture for this episode. Paul’s found a book to discuss and dissect for his “Page Turners” segment. He’s found a book called “Read Me Out Loud” which contains a poem for every day of the year, and he decides to pick out a few choice dates to see if there is anything inspiring for Eli to ultimately crap on. To wrap up the show, there is a new “Gannon’s Golden Game” to enjoy called “Bargain Hunter”. It’s from MB Games and challenges the Cheap Chaps to put their money where their mouths are. Can they complete their shopping list without overspending? Does this segment ever go well? Exactly… So enjoy!
See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-447-ballads-bargain-hunters

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 447: Ballads & Bargain Hunters

There is a slight change to the content of CheapShow this week as Paul & Eli decide to wade into the unfamiliar waters of technology. It’s an episode that begins by enjoying the joys of the past and ends with a lament as to it’s embarrassing secrets. Gannon is trying to make “Tech Talk” a new feature on the podcast and begins his crusade by pitching two retro gaming consoles to Eli. One is a reasonably expensive well-known brand, and the other is a surprisingly cheap knock off, but which will come out as the champ? And keeping on the tech talk theme, Paul decides to extol the virtues of a long dead audio format… The Minidisc! The Cheap Chaps go on a whistle stop tour of the medium, with all its pros and cons, but the episode ends with an embarrassing/adorable reveal. It seems Paul has found a minidisc with his 17 year old self on it! What is on the disc? Why don’t you listen and find out!

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-448-tech-talk-time

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 448: Tech Talk Time

After far too much time away, fair-weather co-host Ash Frith re-joins CheapShow just ahead of its 450th episode and what an episode! It’s a nice chunky one that throws Ash in at the deep end straight from the start. They’ve all got a lot to catch up on and it’s been a while since they’ve all been in the House of Sausage and Mash. It all leads to a 40 minute diversion into the sex, drugs and Rock & Roll private lives of comedians from yesteryear! It’s getting censored to F***! After that, it’s time for a classic Price of Shite and, to make things more challenging for our returning guest, Eli’s confidence and ego is off the charts. There is a mix of tat, toys and musical surprises that must be priced rightly and Paul is struggling to juggle his loyalties! One more episode until 450, it’s exciting!
See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-449-mumchance

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 449: Mumchance

This is it! This is Episode 450! 
To celebrate, Paul & Eli are putting the final touches on their CheapShow Album. However, this will lead to an adventure like no other before in the podcast’s past. TrackBot has been abused one to many times and not only does this mean the album project is in jeopardy, but the existence of CheapShow itself! There is only one way to save the day, and it involves the cheap chaps beaming INTO Trackbot and hunting through a digital landscape for a solution. It’s an odyssey that allows Paul & Eli to revisit their past and, possibly, rewrite it. They’ve got 1 hour to rescue CheapShow from the brink of annihilation… But what does it mean for the future? Probably not much!

Additional Music From Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Art By Vorratony

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-450-corrupted-data-legacy

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 450: Corrupted Data Legacy

Episode 450 was a big success and Eli and Paul celebrated accordingly. Until they didn’t. Following the live stream party, Paul went way too far with the drinking and is now suffering terribly. This means that the only person driving the podcast this week is Eli, so that means Paul is going to have to suffer through another indignity of Eli’s episode manifesto. As a result, it’s going to be a sauce and snack heavy themed podcast, which maybe isn’t the best course of action for a host who feels deathly ill and nauseous. However, there is one curious note to mention… Does Paul being ill make him a better podcaster? Or is episode going to land near the bottom of “worst episodes ever” lists? We guess you will have to listen to find out!

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-451-podcast-after-the-night-before

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 451: The Podcast After The Night Before

From way back in 2013 with my pal Art Antony on drums and bass. 

Lamb Fries - Quarter

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Once again, the PO Box delivers a cornucopia of crap to CheapShow HQ’s door, and it’s up to Paul and Eli to price it all up… Kinda! Eli is feeling a lot more cocky and confident then usual, and he thinks that he is set for yet another mammoth victory! Paul has a HUGE box of items for an episode long Price of Shite, but although he can’t play along, he also doesn’t want to miss out on those sweet, sweet p’twings! So, Gannon devised a cunning plan. If Eli is wrong on an item’s price, Paul can score his own points. How will this effect Eli’s confidence? Will Paul cheat? We guess you’re going to have to listen to find out! It’s an episode packed with a LOT more random tat than usual and there is a LOT to take in… Let’s dive in!

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-452-a-box-of-plenty

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 452: A Box Of Plenty

(Stereo Edition)
Summer is nearly over and Paul and Eli do not want to waste a single sunny day, so it’s time for another walkabout episode! This route, as chosen by Eli, is one they’ve been keen to do for a while and now it’s their chance to tackle the length of the New River. The New River is an artificial waterway that opened in 1613 to deliver water in towards London from Hertfordshire. There is no way in hell that the Cheap Chaps will be able to do ALL of it, as its around 20 miles, but they can do a fat chunk of the middle of it! So, join Paul & Eli as they pack up a few snacks and begin weaving their way through North London, arguing, laughing and pontification before throwing in the towel! How far do they get? Will Paul ever be correct in Eli’s eyes? Will the “self-heating” lunch work? Are jokes their forte? It’s all revealed in this epic 150 minute walkabout adventure.

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-453-a-new-river-runs-through-it

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/cheapshow---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-18th-oct-2025-tickets

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Ep 453: A New River Runs Through It (Stereo)

(Mono Edition)
Summer is nearly over and Paul and Eli do not want to waste a single sunny day, so it’s time for another walkabout episode! This route, as chosen by Eli, is one they’ve been keen to do for a while and now it’s their chance to tackle the length of the New River. The New River is an artificial waterway that opened in 1613 to deliver water in towards London from Hertfordshire. There is no way in hell that the Cheap Chaps will be able to do ALL of it, as its around 20 miles, but they can do a fat chunk of the middle of it! So, join Paul & Eli as they pack up a few snacks and begin weaving their way through North London, arguing, laughing and pontification before throwing in the towel! How far do they get? Will Paul ever be correct in Eli’s eyes? Will the “self-heating” lunch work? Are jokes their forte? It’s all revealed in this epic 150 minute walkabout adventure.

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-453-a-new-river-runs-through-it

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/cheapshow---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-18th-oct-2025-tickets

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Ep 453: A New River Runs Through It (Mono)

It’s time to get our platters out on CheapShow this week! Paul & Eli have unearthed a few comedy albums from the once popular Grumbleweeds musical troupe! Who are these gentlemen? Where they any good? Has their material aged well? Will we get annoyed listening to “There’s No Business Like Show Business” over and over and over? A quick listen to their output should answer a few of those questions! Elsewhere in this week’s episode, Paul’s got a Gannon’s Golden Games on the go and is very excited to play it. The game is an early 2000s electronic “eBay auction bidding game” and, as Eli and Paul are sadly about to find out, absolutely doesn’t work as an audio only podcast medium. Just how bad does it get? Listen in and find out…

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-454-ebay-gum

SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 454: eBay Gum!

Special Guest: Nick Helm
For some reason, Nick Helm was keen to come back on to the podcast and, well, who are Paul and Eli to deny him the experience of more economy comedy catastrophe? In a more than chunky episode, Nick is subjected to numerous rants, mindless meltdown moments of madness and wade through his fair share of tat. Eli has come prepared with a bag of goodies, and quite possibly the worst joke he’s ever told in the podcast’s history. We genuinely apologise in advance. Even though Eli has brought trinkets and spicy noodles for Nick, Paul has crafted a JAWS themed “Price of Shite”, packed with shark based items to investigate and evaluate. Your ears may not be prepared for the next TWO hours!

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
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SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 455: Helm's Deep

From "Chicken Sandwich" LP on Almost Ready Records. 

Tin Foil - "Cheap"

It’s an episode of extremes this week, as Eli and Paul battle through the usual segments whilst trying to deal with a whole host of new annoyances. Jimmy Biscuits and Richard Brandoff are back and trying to capitalise on their glorious return to the podcast. Paul is NOT happy to be dealing with an attic full of old and new CheapShow characters and something has to give. To make things worse, a trip to the Snack Palace reveals a very dark denouement for that particular segment. Two crisps enter, but do ANY of them leave this episode alive? Finally, there is a Price of Shite battle for the ages where Eli’s crown might just be about to slip! Can Paul make a glorious comeback? It’s time to find out.

See pics/videos for this episode on our website:
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SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London
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Ep 456: Don't Call It A Comeback

Email: globalpvamarket@gmail.com
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CheapShow is a comedy podcast all about getting the very best out of the worst! Be it Poundlands, Charity Shops, Car Boot Sales or Bargain Bins, hosts Paul Gannon & Eli Silverman poke around in the corners of the high streets and internet to find treasure in the trash.

One week it could be a studio based show, the next, a live comedy event. It could even be a location report or a scripted adventure! A few things it is, however, is rude, crude, silly and drizzled in pop culture, nostalgia and plenty of verbal violence!

It has guests, videos, songs, reviews, games and dares.  We apologise in advance!
www.thecheapshow.co.uk

Independent record label based in Brooklyn NY.  Est 2007.



Long distance rummaging rapper type of fella, who needed beats so decided to try and make his own from the nefarious world of bargain vinylment. Lost track of time and realised he'd forgotten to write the words he was creating to support. Now on a mission without the time he can never find, he jigsaws verse and beats at glacial speed for fun often miss-laying the final piece- but happy in the knowledge there's fullfilment in the incomplete.

If your hearing things and wishing it was an instrumental, drop a line and i'll try to get it sorted folks.

Thanks!
.
Toolage : Mpc 1000, 2500, 1210's, Microphones,Vinyl addiction,Pens, Paint, People, Computers, Freebie stickers, and other bits of shizz i'll include as they get used. 

Formerly of The Unbelievable Bargains, The Girth, and some others. Currently snacking and doing some stuff.

New tracks tagged #Cheap